I keep thinking about all those stupid metaphors that talk about the work that goes on beneath the surface.
The graceful duck that glides along the surface of a pond, furiously paddling its webbed feet underneath the water…
The deceptive iceberg with its notorious tip, only hinting at the massive destruction it’s capable of…
We’re looking so good [...]

“It’s not about you.”
I fucking hate it when people say that.  Because, while it may be true and healthy, it’s usually said to let someone know that their feelings are stupid.
“It’s not about you… it’s about me.”
That seems to be the unspoken clarifier.  Like, how dare you question how I am treating you or how [...]

My husband and I did this exercise during last week’s marriage counseling session.
I thought it was interesting, and announced mid session that I’d be featuring Marriage Mad Lib on my blog.  My marriage counselor laughed and Jared shook his head the way that he always does when I announce that something is going to show [...]

We’d spent our first session introducing ourselves and covering our individual backgrounds and medical histories while sitting next to each other on a small couch.  When we walked into our second marriage counseling session, we found two chairs set up a few feet apart facing one another.
This was, apparently, the proper setting for The Dialogue.
That’s [...]

It wasn’t easy for me to make the decision to trust again.
He asked for one more chance, and I counted up all the one more chances that had already been given.  And blown.  I sat in the dark with the fear and the doubt and the uncertainty.  I got lost inside my own head, because [...]

My therapist described it as going up a mountain.
Right now, it feels more like falling on my ass.
Over
and over
and over again.
Unless you’re rock climbing, you don’t go straight up a mountain.  You go around it.  And it can feel like you’re just going round and round in an ever looping circle.   You can pass by [...]

We’re supposed to be discovering new surfaces on which to have sex.
That’s what people do when their kids leave town.  At least, that’s what everyone keeps telling us.
We’ve spent the first week staring at one another.  And fighting a lot.  And trying to remember just what in the hell we have in common.  And how [...]

Family is everything to me.
Everything.
It is the beginning and the end of who I am, where I come from, and where I want to end up in life.
So having my husband be on a completely different page than me when it comes to what family means is hard.  Beyond hard.  It’s fucking heartbreaking.
Jared and I [...]

I got my first serious boyfriend my sophomore year in highschool.    He became a part of my family, an integral part of my every day life.  After several months, I knew it would last forever.
We broke up two years later.
I remember when I tried to date new people afterwards what a struggle it was having [...]

My dad called last night at about 8:30.
“Are you doing your show?” he asked.
“Yep. Do you have to assimilate to be American.”
“Oh, um,” he hesitated, “maybe I won’t listen to that one.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I’m kind of… well… I’m probably a little conservative on that,” his voice took on that goofy quality it always does [...]

We almost never do anything for Valentine’s Day. I almost always end up disappointed because I like to set my expectations high and assume that history is no way to accurately predict future results. Sure, he’s never bought flowers, but this will be the year he springs for sky writing!
(By the way, sky [...]

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I cannot figure out the relationship between my husband and my son.
Our son.
I wonder if that’s part of the problem.
Jared’s interaction with Devin (and Devin’s with Jared) is startlingly different than my own. Startlingly is my word, I suppose, as I find that it bothers me more and more as Devin gets older and [...]

The Driver
(Click here to read Part 1 of the Driver)
(Click here to read Part 2 of the Driver)
(Click here to read Part 3 of the Driver)
“I’d need you to stop working as an escort,” he said.
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. She opened her mouth to say something but she was overcome with laughter.
“What?”
“I [...]

The Driver
(Click here to read Part 1 of the Driver)
(Click here to read Part 2 of the Driver)
A yellow cab screeched around the corner and come to a halt in the parking lot. An ancient cab driver hopped out of the cab carrying a baseball bat.
“I’m all right, Sam. This man is [...]

The Driver
(Click here to read Part 1 of the Driver)
“You need to remember Vincent Hutchins that I am not the one who left,” Lily said.
She flew from the car.
Jumping after her, he reached the front door of her building just as she pulled it open. He pushed the door closed then, using his weight, [...]