Someone is trying to kill me.
Possibly a Keebler Elf.
I woke up this morning two hours late and stumbled into my kitchen for coffee and microwaved eggs.  I stood at the counter between my refigerator and my stove, waiting for the familiar beep, beep letting me know my breakfast was ready.
And that’s when I saw it.
Something [...]

Friday night, there was this:
And this is Heather drinking absinthe in a fancy cafe in Atlanta.
And because she did it, I figured I would do it.  But do it cooler.  So I ordered an Absinthe Frappé. Because, I thought, an absinthe smoothie sounds awesome.  And if a frappuccino is a cappuccino frozen, then an absinthe [...]

Last night, Jared and I decided to take advantage of the fact that we still do not have any children at home to distract us from having to talk to one another and go out for dinner together.
I suggested my favorite Japanese restuarant, Kobé, because we have always had a great time and really enjoyed [...]

The best time to make a drastic change to your appearance is right before you go and meet 1400 or so strangers for the first time.
Clearly.
Which is why I thought it was an awesome idea to lure Hilly over to my house Sunday night under the guise of hanging out and then proceed to force [...]

“Your test results were a little… unusual.”
Awesome.  Because that’s exactly the first thing you want to hear your doctor say when he walks into the room.
“Unusual?”
“Yes, well, there’s some things that are… strange.”
Strange and unusual.  Again – awesome.
My doctor quickly assured me that there a bunch of really bad things that he knew I did [...]

On Sunday I was going to write a funny post about how Hilly and I spent Saturday pretending to be supermodels.
I was going to show you pictures of our light guy and write funny things on the pictures like “see how we is sexy!” with an arrow pointing to my boob inexplicably hanging out of [...]

Emma,
Some day I will write down your very own Story of The Day You Were Born and you will carry on a tradition started by my own mom. Some day you will sit long enough to listen to me talk about the greatest day of my life (and you will likely use that against [...]

How do you recap three days in The City That Never Sleeps with one blog post?
You don’t. So start thinking of at least three different ways to say “I’m so glad you had fun!” and “Looks like you had a blast!” Because this? Is just the beginning.
Speaking of beginnings…
We begin this trip [...]

I bet you thought my husband was the only man I would trot in front of the Internet for my own amusement. Didn’t you?
Well, you were wrong.
My disrespect for manhood extends far beyond the narrow confines of The Man I Have Sex With. My irreverence knows no bounds. And yours shouldn’t either.
To [...]

Before one can make amends, one must do something worthy of being amended.
Such as – putting your husband in a bonnet. On the Internet.
That would be, step one. Then, it’s time to get down to the business of making amends.

Oh yeah. We’re going there….
After the bonnet is tied firmly in place: