As of about two o’clock this morning, I am officially the mother of a ten year old.
Ten.
One Zero.
It now takes two whole digits to accurately describe him.  Or rather, his age.  It obviously takes more than mere numerals to describe the rest of him.
As we drove to Walt Disney World yesterday to celebrate his birthday [...]

She answered the door wearing neither makeup nor shoes.
She wore a t-shirt and cut off denim shorts and a closely cropped haircut that was devoid of any styling product.  She smiled as she opened her home to me and quietly invited me in.  She seemed a little meek and unsure of how to greet me.
Shit, [...]

He doesn’t usually crawl into bed with me.
That should have been a sign.
“Devin, what are you doing?” I asked as the alarm blared again and I realized my nine year old son was snuggled into his father’s side of the bed.
“I’m tired.  My leg hurts.”
“It’s time to get up, buddy.”
He groaned and pulled [...]

I’ve had this post planned since March.
Today was going to be the day I told you about how badly I would miss my children.
Today I was going to describe in loving detail how I wake up with my three year old in bed with me every morning. I was going to tell you about [...]

My son had just turned two when I realized that I had already failed him as a mother. I remember very clearly thinking “I can’t believe I’ve already screwed this up. What the hell do I do now?”
The daycare had called. Again. It seemed Devin was biting the other children in [...]

A friend of mine who is “considering” having a baby has caused me to think back a bit lately on what it was like when I decided to have my second child.
Decided. Man, that still sounds strange to me.
You see, for a lot of you women out there you always knew you would be [...]

I woke up this morning to my daughter’s screams. In a panic, I jumped out of bed and rushed into her room, prepared to find blood and gore and a horrific site of death and destruction.
Instead, I found a tiny blond two year old being strangled by an Elmo T-Shirt.
“Emma, honey, it’s OK,” I [...]

Dear 18 year old Miss Britt,
Wear a condom.
Seriously.
I don’t care how drunk you are. I don’t care how sweet he is.
And seriously? Your plan to “save money” by getting off the pill? You’re a fucking retard. Fuck. Get your ass out of the bar, off the pot, and back into [...]

I don’t know if I’ve said this around here before, but I’m a bit overprotective when it comes to my kids.  Particularly when it comes to my kids and gratuitous violence.
My son never watched Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles when he was 3.  I have never bought him a toy gun, or sword, or plastic knives.  [...]

I took the day off work today so that we could meet with Them.  I’m sitting here now, waiting for Them to come.
They.  Them.  The Experts.  The people who will tell me if I’ve been a good mother.  If my instincts are all out of whack.  If my daughter is OK.  If she’s not.  If [...]

I had promised earlier this week that Thursday would be my first edition of FOAD. Some of you knew right away that I was lying because I have said that I wouldn’t do FOAD because I just can’t bring myself to tell someone to fuck off and die.
There was a time when I could [...]