“Is this for the shower?” Emma asked.
I was going through my morning “get ready” routine while she and Devin waited patiently for me to take them to school.
“Yep,” I replied.
“What’s it do?” she asked.
“It takes your hair off,” I told her.  And causes chemical burns like a motherfucker, I thought.
“Ohhhhhhh,” she nodded, impressed with her [...]

There are two things you need to know to understand what I’m about to tell you:
1) Once in a while, I wear a thong. As in that underwear that is mostly loin cloth in the front and string up your butt in the back.
2) I haven’t been alone in a bedroom or bathroom since [...]