Dear Wii Fit,
I did not take it personally when you said I was slightly overweight. I admit, I was impressed that you could weigh me so accurately.
I did not get mad when you stopped mid push up to announce that I had taken a break. I mean I had, after all, rolled over on [...]

Dear Jared,
OK, you’re right… estranged was a bit dramatic. I know. But it makes for a more interesting title. And our marriage is nothing if not a tool to make this blog more interesting for the Internet.
Heh. About that…
Thank you. I know you don’t “get it”. I know you [...]

Dear Dumb Ass,
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been running my ass off for the last several weeks.
I’ve driven hundreds of fucking miles. I’ve circled the airport terminal more times than I care to count. I’ve washed sheets and remade guest beds. I’ve planned outings and excursions and meals from [...]