I dated a guy in college who was obsessed with movie quotes.
He’d send me random text messages with lines from Jim Carrey movies and wait for me to guess the name of the movie.  He’d giggle if I got them right and strut if I got them wrong, impressed with his superior knowledge of movies [...]

I’m on my way home from Miami, so you get this:

Rest assured, I did not leave my children home alone while I was out of town.

A few days ago I learned that I had been nominated as a contender for Hottest Blogger Calendar. I rolled my eyes and tossed my hair and made several indignant noises that resembled dainty snorts.
Me? A Centerfold?
Well… clearly.
I told everyone I would not be “pimping” myself. Such tacky displays of self promotion [...]

No? Well. Lucky for you then that BUG-EYED BLOG: Pissers and Shitters.”B.E. Earl linked to his own pee pee story yesterday in the comments.
(Quick aside: My dear, sweet editors at that very wholesome site that I somehow wormed my way into posting on – I humbly apologize for choosing today to link [...]

The moment I got the all clear Saturday morning that the kids were doing just fine on their summer vacation, everything changed.
The guilt and anxiety that had been hanging around me all week lifted, and I found myself surrounded by an entirely different cloud.
I felt my shoulders relax and the air I was taking in [...]

“What the hell was THAT?

“
I’m just sayin’.

I pee with the door open.
It doesn’t matter where I am. If I am in mid-conversation and I have to go, I feel like it’s rude to shut the door and stop talking to you.
So I just go, man.
Is that weird?

Yesterday, I showed you some of the lessons that my week in Parkersburg taught me.
There is one more valuable lesson that I haven’t yet discussed. It’s just been… well, painful, honestly, to think about. And it really needed it’s own post.
You see, we left in a hurry. I barely had time to [...]

This conversation may or may not have recently been overheard in a bowling alley somewhere in Central Florida…
Husband (channeling Beavis): Heh. Look at your score. Heh.

Wife: Yes, I know. You’re beating me. Again.
Husband: Heh. Heh. No. Look.
Wife: (rolling my her eyes right out my her head) Oh Jesus. What are you, [...]

As most of you know by now, one of our own is facing the battle of for her life. Again.
For those of you who don’t, allow me to quickly summarize: Lisa of Clusterfook.com finds herself battling cancer for the third time. She has two daughters and a husband and a life worth fighting [...]