We call ourselves The Orlando Mafia.
And every time we do, one of us invariably rolls rolls our eyes and laughs, “man we are douches.”  And then another one of us laughs too and agrees, “I know!  I can’t imagine why anyone would ever want to hang out with us!”  And then we all laugh some [...]

I used to update my blog regularly so that my mom wouldn’t freak out over whether I was dead or depressed or something.
But now she just calls me most of the time if she’s worried about me and she’s pretty much too busy to read my blog now anyway.  And if your mom is too [...]

I am absolutely over the moon that today is Christmas Eve.
Jared and I both have to work today, but tonight we’ll go to church with the kids and Hilly.  After church, we’ll come home to have chilli and appetizers, just like we do every year on Christmas Eve.  Of course, this is the first time [...]

We met for the first time in the hallway of a Philadelphia hotel room.  I had just convinced all of her friends to ditch her at the airport and make her get a cab to the hotel.  I was sure she’d  understand why we’d rather do tequila shots than greet her personally.
It’s a miracle she [...]

Two weeks ago, I dragged two three children to the grocery store for our weekly shopping trip.
After they had endured more time than anyone should ever have to endure in a Wal-Mart, I took them to the nearby party supply store that had been converted into a costume shop for the Halloween season.
Emma had known [...]

I actually missed the anniversary date.
That in itself is a sign of progress, I think.
August 10th, two days ago, marked two years since we moved to Florida.
Last year, I marked this date with a resignation and acceptance of homesickness.
This year, I spent the day working from home, my boss and best friend sitting on my [...]

The best time to make a drastic change to your appearance is right before you go and meet 1400 or so strangers for the first time.
Clearly.
Which is why I thought it was an awesome idea to lure Hilly over to my house Sunday night under the guise of hanging out and then proceed to force [...]

The kids left Friday morning.
Red Eye movie download
By Friday night, Jared and I were ready to walk on the wild side.
We headed out for a romantic dinner at the local sports bar.  Because nothing says romance and wild and crazy like a place with big screen TVs and free face painting on Wednesday nights.
Right.  Awesome.  [...]

I woke up this morning dreading writing this post.
I got back late last night from a long weekend in Lexington, Kentucky.  I went to Lexington for “ConFab, Baby!” – a blogger houseparty hosted by Turnbaby and the man formerly known as Mr. Fabulous.  Everyone knows you can’t go to a blogger party without blogging about [...]

Saturday afternoon, I went to a baby shower.
I’ve been to a lot of baby showers, but this one was different.
This baby shower was for my beautiful friend Faiqa, who is a Pakistani American with a butt load of middle eastern friends.  And while you might not think that this fact alone is significant, think for [...]

I have a feeling that my life is about to get crazy.
Tomorrow I’m heading to Tampa to say goodbye to Anissa, after spending the afternoon at Faiqa’s baby shower.

Next weekend I’m headed to Lexington, Kentucky with Hilly and Adam for ConFab.  I’m looking forward to rooming with Hilly and Becky and having lots [...]

On Sunday I was going to write a funny post about how Hilly and I spent Saturday pretending to be supermodels.
I was going to show you pictures of our light guy and write funny things on the pictures like “see how we is sexy!” with an arrow pointing to my boob inexplicably hanging out of [...]

“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!”
-Dr. Seuss
Now that Hilly has had a chance to tell you herself, it’s OK for me to talk about it here.
Hilly hasn’t been here for the last week just visiting.  She’s been checking out the area to decide if it’s a good place for her [...]

I had breakfast Sunday morning with Hilly, Adam, Adam’s wife Amy, Faiqa and Shari.  (I wonder what it’s like to have friend who don’t require links when you mention them…)
Faiqa is pregnant, so damn near every time I see her I ask her what kind of makeup is making your skin so fabulous?!? and have [...]

Internets, I need you.
“Oh no, she’s going to ask us to tell her how wonderful and pretty and great she is. Again.”
No. No! It’s not that this time, I promise. (Although, it’s always nice to hear you’re pretty. Ya know?)
By the way, you look pretty today.

“Shit. She’s going to [...]