There is a nasty rumor going around that I don’t know how to make Guacamole.
And, OK, so my last attempt didn’t end… um… well. I’ll give you that.
But! Since then! I have been redeemed!
No, really. I totally know how to make Guacamole now.
(you, stop snickering, I will show you…)
Allow me to [...]

Step 1: Buy two avocados – despite the fact that someone has them falling into his house for free on a daily basis.

Step 2: Peel and Chop Avocado

Step 3: Realize that you are not going to smash this by hand, no matter what the recipe says

Wonder why food processor/blender is not processing, nor blending…

Heh.
Smash avocado [...]