My friend Courtney, who is easily one of the most naturally gorgeous people I know, has talked me into potentially making an ass of myself.
Again.
You see, Courtney has a baby who is almost a year old now, and she has decided that she is sick and tired of carrying around her extra “baby weight”.  While [...]

I keep thinking about all those stupid metaphors that talk about the work that goes on beneath the surface.
The graceful duck that glides along the surface of a pond, furiously paddling its webbed feet underneath the water…
The deceptive iceberg with its notorious tip, only hinting at the massive destruction it’s capable of…
We’re looking so good [...]

“It’s not about you.”
I fucking hate it when people say that.  Because, while it may be true and healthy, it’s usually said to let someone know that their feelings are stupid.
“It’s not about you… it’s about me.”
That seems to be the unspoken clarifier.  Like, how dare you question how I am treating you or how [...]

I’m not perfect.
None of you are surprised to hear that, I know.  But my point is that not only am I not perfect, but I have no desire to appear perfect.  Not to you or anyone.
There’s too much pressure in perfection.  Besides, most people know it’s a lie, don’t they?  I know I have, at [...]

It wasn’t easy for me to make the decision to trust again.
He asked for one more chance, and I counted up all the one more chances that had already been given.  And blown.  I sat in the dark with the fear and the doubt and the uncertainty.  I got lost inside my own head, because [...]

I spent my weekend at a conference about making money online.
Correction.
I spent half my weekend sitting in a conference about making money online thinking, what the hell am I doing here?, and sending an incessant amount of snarky, bitchy, annoying tweets.
I spent the other half of my weekend holed up in my hotel room with [...]

“It doesn’t matter if you go to the ocean to fill up a thimble or a bucket, the ocean doesn’t care”
- Wayne Dyer
There is no better place to ask questions than beside the ocean.
Because the ocean doesn’t care.
You can wade into the ocean fat and white, with puckered thighs and dimpled cheeks.  You can lounge [...]

I’m sitting on a fourth floor balcony overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.  I’m looking at the beach, listening to the waves, but I haven’t stepped foot on it yet.
I haven’t stepped foot much of anywhere this weekend.  It’s after 3:00 on Saturday afternoon and I’ve left my hotel room exactly once to steal coffee from the [...]

I know it’s hard to read about someone else’s pain.
Well, unless you’re an asshole, I suppose.
But for most people, coming face to face with someone’s heartache and fear and doubts – and not being able to do a damn thing about it – that’s rough.  And man, when I feel pain, I feel pain.  And [...]

This past week has, without a doubt, been the single worst week of my life.
Up to this point.
Because I am not so stupid as to tempt the gods.
It has been worse than the week my mother and I said goodbye to my Nana.  It was been worse than the week we waited to say goodbye [...]

I’m struggling with reality.
Not in the sense that I’m hallucinating or thinking I’m Marie Antoinette or that my cat is telling me to build it so that they will come.  I’m not hearing voices, however much I’ll admit to listening very intently for them on occasion.
No, I’m not crazy.  Although, wouldn’t that be cooler and [...]

This is one of those days when I wish I had an anonymous blog.
Or that I was better at faking it.
I know people who do it.  They put on a happy face and pretend like nothing is wrong.  They dance for their quarters because it’s what is expected of them.  And they do it so [...]

“Is being a mom hard?” she asked.
“Yes.”
I answered without hesitation.  Fear and a desire to understand better washed over her face almost imperceptibly.  She mentioned something about working and the things we do.
“It’s not taking care of them that’s hard.  I mean, you figure that out pretty quickly, just like with anything else.”
“Right,” I saw [...]

I’ve whined a lot about being tired on this blog.
I hestitate to do it because everyone is too damn tired and there’s nothing more stressful about my life than yours.  But somedays, the tired outweighs the creativity and so that’s what I do.  Be tired.
And then I get nervous that maybe I’m too tired.  Maybe [...]

Let me tell you now that some of you will hate this post. I’m not entirely comfortable with that right now, but I’m going write it anyway because… well, it’s what I do.
I’m using that disclaimer, in part, to avoid starting.
I’m never sure where to begin when I’m unraveling my fears.
The short version of [...]