I’m not perfect.
None of you are surprised to hear that, I know.  But my point is that not only am I not perfect, but I have no desire to appear perfect.  Not to you or anyone.
There’s too much pressure in perfection.  Besides, most people know it’s a lie, don’t they?  I know I have, at [...]

If you tell me that you like my earrings, I’ll tell you that I got them for $2 at Claire’s. And probably point out that they are fake.
If you compliment me on my outfit, I’ll let you know that I need to do laundry. This is the only thing clean.
If you tell me [...]

I pee with the door open.
It doesn’t matter where I am. If I am in mid-conversation and I have to go, I feel like it’s rude to shut the door and stop talking to you.
So I just go, man.
Is that weird?