I am absolutely over the moon that today is Christmas Eve.
Jared and I both have to work today, but tonight we’ll go to church with the kids and Hilly.  After church, we’ll come home to have chilli and appetizers, just like we do every year on Christmas Eve.  Of course, this is the first time [...]

Things That Are Not Cool:
>> Having both of your children sick at the same time.
>> Waking up in the middle of the night to find one of your children throwing up in your bed.  On your sheets.
>> Having to change the sheets in the middle of the night while one of your children sits on [...]

Two weeks ago, I dragged two three children to the grocery store for our weekly shopping trip.
After they had endured more time than anyone should ever have to endure in a Wal-Mart, I took them to the nearby party supply store that had been converted into a costume shop for the Halloween season.
Emma had known [...]

On Sunday we – meaning me, Jared, Devin and Emma – set out for a day of fall festivities at a local pumpkin patch.  The temperatures  here in Florida were actually fall like, and it was the first family outing we would all be on together since before Hell Month.  I grabbed two camers to [...]

I was laying in bed desperately trying to ignore the fact that I wasn’t sleeping, even though my alarm clock wouldn’t go off for another 15 minutes.
My annoyance at being awake before 6:00 am was softened by the squishy comfort of finding myself in the middle of  a kid burrito.
Emma was curled snugly into the [...]

“Is this for the shower?” Emma asked.
I was going through my morning “get ready” routine while she and Devin waited patiently for me to take them to school.
“Yep,” I replied.
“What’s it do?” she asked.
“It takes your hair off,” I told her.  And causes chemical burns like a motherfucker, I thought.
“Ohhhhhhh,” she nodded, impressed with her [...]

The first night we got home, I forgot to feed my kids dinner.
I haven’t cooked a meal in over a month.  Jared and I ate out or ate string cheese and beer or, in most cases, just didn’t eat at all.  I’m always amazed by single people who go through the effort of cooking entire [...]

“Alright, Mom.  I have to go.”
Our morning conversation was beginning to bleed into my working hours and I could no longer ignore the screams from my inbox.
“OK, baby.  I love you.”
“I love you, too.  Thanks for listening to me be a raging whore all morning.”
“Mmm… I’d say raging bitch.”
“Oh.  Right.”
“Technically I don’t think I can [...]

She answered the door wearing neither makeup nor shoes.
She wore a t-shirt and cut off denim shorts and a closely cropped haircut that was devoid of any styling product.  She smiled as she opened her home to me and quietly invited me in.  She seemed a little meek and unsure of how to greet me.
Shit, [...]

I don’t know if other mothers do this, but I’m constantly thinking about how my children will remember their childhoods.
We’ll be in the middle of our lives, and suddenly I see it all as a snapshot.  I look at the people and the surroundings, the faces and the details of what we’re wearing, and I [...]

The other day on twitter I informed the Internets that I was finally working through all of the pictures from my Dad’s visit to Florida a couple weeks ago.
Because that is the kind of interesting information I like to share with the world with modern technology.
And while you are mocking me for my mastery of [...]

I hate spring break.
It’s not that I don’t love my children.  I do.  But the fact remains that while Devin is off school for a week, I have a full time job to tend to.
Luckily, I was able to work from home all week.  Or at least I thought that would be a good, lucky [...]

“Mama, you wanna battle?”
We were packing away the markers and the BIG GIANT DIEGO COLORING BOOK so that we could all sit down and have dinner.  Together.  As a family.
I’d just spent 20 minutes coloring Diego and a baby jaguar and was high on the quality kid time I’ve been missing lately.  That’s the only [...]

I had breakfast Sunday morning with Hilly, Adam, Adam’s wife Amy, Faiqa and Shari.  (I wonder what it’s like to have friend who don’t require links when you mention them…)
Faiqa is pregnant, so damn near every time I see her I ask her what kind of makeup is making your skin so fabulous?!? and have [...]

There are two things you need to know to understand what I’m about to tell you:
1) Once in a while, I wear a thong. As in that underwear that is mostly loin cloth in the front and string up your butt in the back.
2) I haven’t been alone in a bedroom or bathroom since [...]