What I Saw On My Birthday – A Video

by Miss Britt on January 20, 2010 47 Comments »

So, there are tons and tons of pictures and stories to tell from my 30th birthday party.
But, well, um, I’m still kind of too busy to put all those together for you.  So instead, I’m going to be really lazy and show you the video that was played during my birthday party.

Miss Britt’s 30th Birthday [...]

For My Very Best Friend

by Miss Britt on December 17, 2009 32 Comments »

I never remember to call her on her birthday.
Ever.
We’ve been friends for 17 years, and I always call the day before or the day after, but never on the actual day.  I’m pretty good at remembering dates, I’m just rarely aware of what the date is today.
I think we’ve been friends for as long as [...]

The Guilt

by Miss Britt on December 4, 2009 95 Comments »

We never believe our own mothers.
She tells us the world is round, and we roll our eyes at the very idea that she would know anything about the size or shape of the world.  But when Mrs. Smith shows you a globe, you believe, and you run home to tell your mother what you learned [...]

Truth In Blogging: Some People Are Bitches

by Miss Britt on November 23, 2009 49 Comments »

I’m not perfect.
None of you are surprised to hear that, I know.  But my point is that not only am I not perfect, but I have no desire to appear perfect.  Not to you or anyone.
There’s too much pressure in perfection.  Besides, most people know it’s a lie, don’t they?  I know I have, at [...]

Words are for pussies.

by Miss Britt on October 27, 2009 34 Comments »

See the entire set here.

Communicating After Counseling

by Miss Britt on October 16, 2009 46 Comments »

Sent at 10:16 AM on Friday
Jared: Hey miss writer
brittmariereints: miss writer?
wha?
are you mocking me?
Jared: Don’t think to0 hard but
no
asking for help
brittmariereints: oh
ok
Jared: tamieka is trying to write something for her grandfather that passed yesterday
she is writing a poem or whatever you call
it when you
Say like
G – is for giving
R is for
brittmariereints: oh jesus god
corny is [...]

Monetizing Pain

by Miss Britt on October 5, 2009 30 Comments »

I spent my weekend at a conference about making money online.
Correction.
I spent half my weekend sitting in a conference about making money online thinking, what the hell am I doing here?, and sending an incessant amount of snarky, bitchy, annoying tweets.
I spent the other half of my weekend holed up in my hotel room with [...]

The Worst Day

by Miss Britt on September 30, 2009 102 Comments »

I thought I had survived The Apocalypse.
I thought I had lived through the worst.
I was wrong.
Yesterday, in the early afternoon hours, I received an email that would forever change the course of my life.  It would, I think, change the very fabric of me.  Permanently.
I was standing up when I read it.  The words instantly [...]

Cut From Strange Cloth

by Miss Britt on September 23, 2009 114 Comments »

When I was growing up, I wanted to be my Grammy.
Actually, when I was first growing up, I wanted to be my Nana.  As far as my preteen eyes could tell, Nana was rich with money and royal blood.  She was fashionable and commanding.  She knew things that no one else in the whole world [...]

Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina (or Internet) (or Mom)

by Miss Britt on September 2, 2009 56 Comments »

I am not a victim.
Since Monday, I have been overwhelmed with emails, text messages, voice mails and twitters of concern.
I’m sorry, the say.
Are you OK?, they ask.
And every time I read or hear those words, I cringe a little at having evoked a misplaced surge of encouragement.
Don’t be sorry, I say.
I’m OK.
I’m not surprised, of [...]

The Happy Freak

by Miss Britt on September 1, 2009 65 Comments »

I believe in happiness.
Not just serenity.
Not just peace.
Not just every day contentedness.
Happiness.
As much of it as you can possibly get your hands on.
It seems, at times, that most people hope for happy and hang on to content.  My belief in happiness seems to separate me from a good chunk of the rest of the world.
Friends, [...]

She’ll be a woman, soon. A hairy, hairy woman who can reach anything she wants in the whole wide world.

by Miss Britt on August 27, 2009 67 Comments »

“Is this for the shower?” Emma asked.
I was going through my morning “get ready” routine while she and Devin waited patiently for me to take them to school.
“Yep,” I replied.
“What’s it do?” she asked.
“It takes your hair off,” I told her.  And causes chemical burns like a motherfucker, I thought.
“Ohhhhhhh,” she nodded, impressed with her [...]

You’ll pretty much just scratch your head and say “WTF? Did she buy a sailboat?” and I’ll say “no, but yes, exactly.”

by Miss Britt on August 25, 2009 33 Comments »

I’m struggling with reality.
Not in the sense that I’m hallucinating or thinking I’m Marie Antoinette or that my cat is telling me to build it so that they will come.  I’m not hearing voices, however much I’ll admit to listening very intently for them on occasion.
No, I’m not crazy.  Although, wouldn’t that be cooler and [...]

I tried to start a cult but then I got bored and had to find underwear.

by Miss Britt on August 21, 2009 46 Comments »

The time has come for me to start my own cult.
I don’t know how it happened.  I certainly wasn’t looking for it.  But I woke up this morning to find that I had 2,000 followers looking to me to lead them.
I mean, clearly that has to be it.
I don’t even know 2,000 people – but [...]

7 Things I Learned This Weekend That Have Nothing To Do With Self Esteem

by Miss Britt on August 17, 2009 67 Comments »

Because my God I am tired of looking at that other post.
1.  The words “another round” are from Satan himself.
2.  Especially when they are said by someone else and yet, somehow, include you.
3.  Especially if you do not drink as much – or as quickly – as the person saying “another round” who is, somehow, [...]