People who have gone through some form of therapy are probably the most annoying people in the world.
I imagine talking to them is like talking to someone who once watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  “Heart surgery?  Oh, dude, I’ve totally seen that done.  I can do this!”  Except instead of trying to bypass your [...]

Let me attempt to set the mood here.  Because I am a sucker for futility.
What you are about to read is a simple explanation of my beliefs.  It’s not a defense against or an attack on any beliefs that may be different from my own.  I am neither angry nor hellbent on conversion.  This is [...]

I am a person who believes in forgiveness.
That belief defines me.  It gives me hope and faith and strength.  It tells me how to look at the world and what to do with my anger.  It brings me peace when nothing else can.
I am a person who believes in forgiveness.
Last summer, when I man I [...]

I keep thinking about how I want to come here and tell you thank you.  I want to express how grateful I am for the kindness of loved ones and strangers and how all of it has reminded me that there is good in the world.
And then, before I get a chance to flex my [...]

There is an ornament that hangs on my mother’s tree that is little more than yarn and popsicle sticks.  There may be a small strand of silver garland attached to it, although I’d be surprised if that part has survived the years of holiday packing and unpacking.
I made it when I was about Devin’s age, [...]

You know why blogs are better than babies?
Because you can ignore them for days and days and weeks and weeks and they are still here.
Don’t try that shit with babies.  Seriously.
I plan to tell you all about our New Year’s Eve party – including the part where Jared showed up without a shirt on and [...]

“It’s not about you.”
I fucking hate it when people say that.  Because, while it may be true and healthy, it’s usually said to let someone know that their feelings are stupid.
“It’s not about you… it’s about me.”
That seems to be the unspoken clarifier.  Like, how dare you question how I am treating you or how [...]

We never believe our own mothers.
She tells us the world is round, and we roll our eyes at the very idea that she would know anything about the size or shape of the world.  But when Mrs. Smith shows you a globe, you believe, and you run home to tell your mother what you learned [...]

I’m not perfect.
None of you are surprised to hear that, I know.  But my point is that not only am I not perfect, but I have no desire to appear perfect.  Not to you or anyone.
There’s too much pressure in perfection.  Besides, most people know it’s a lie, don’t they?  I know I have, at [...]

It wasn’t easy for me to make the decision to trust again.
He asked for one more chance, and I counted up all the one more chances that had already been given.  And blown.  I sat in the dark with the fear and the doubt and the uncertainty.  I got lost inside my own head, because [...]

I spent most of the day Monday pissed off.
I didn’t have one specific reason.  I was just… annoyed.  I was frustrated with passive aggressive behavior being directed around me – because the point of passive aggressive is that it’s never direct exactly at you.  I was ticked off thinking about crappy friends.  I was annoyed [...]

“How are you?”
I hate that question.
Hate it.
I hated it before because the answer was always too depressing, or not depressing enough.  The question was loaded with expectations and a desire to help an unhelpable situation.
I hate it now because I don’t know.
I want to say OK.  I want to say good.  I’m supposed to say [...]

“God, give me clarity.”
It was the only prayer I could manage, laying there on the edge of my bed at 3 o’clock in the afternoon on a work day.
I’d been fading in and out of numbness for almost a week.  I’d find my center, pick my head up to do something with it, and it [...]

He sits across a table from me, and begs for one more chance.
He’s so certain.  So sure.  He loves me, he says.  He knows it.   He loves our life, our family, our Everything We’ve Built Together.  He loves it.  He wants to save it.
One more chance, he says.
An hour later, I find out something new.  [...]

I thought I had survived The Apocalypse.
I thought I had lived through the worst.
I was wrong.
Yesterday, in the early afternoon hours, I received an email that would forever change the course of my life.  It would, I think, change the very fabric of me.  Permanently.
I was standing up when I read it.  The words instantly [...]