Some days I wish I was one of those people who kept personal information private instead of giving in to some insane urge to share anything and everything with anyone who will come close enough to listen.
Today is one of those days.
If I was one of those people with a good sense of proprietary and [...]

“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he says.
And we both know that he’s full of shit, although only one of us has any clue to what extent.  And it’s not me.
He folds his arms across his chest, a visual cue that he’s closing himself off from me.  He smiles a little to reassure me, but he doesn’t [...]

I keep thinking about all those stupid metaphors that talk about the work that goes on beneath the surface.
The graceful duck that glides along the surface of a pond, furiously paddling its webbed feet underneath the water…
The deceptive iceberg with its notorious tip, only hinting at the massive destruction it’s capable of…
We’re looking so good [...]

She calls them “appreciations”, and we have to do them every day.
“I appreciate that…” and once a day your spouse comes up with something, anything, about you that is worthy of being appreciated.
Some days are harder than others.
“I appreciate that you finally decided to drop it.”
“You should appreciate that I didn’t kill you.  I appreciate [...]

We wiped away our tears, signaling the end of our counseling session.
“I just want to say,” her voice was the exact same tone and volume that it always is, “that you guys make perfect sense.”
My eyes flew from my twiddling thumbs to his face.  His lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile.  We [...]

My husband and I did this exercise during last week’s marriage counseling session.
I thought it was interesting, and announced mid session that I’d be featuring Marriage Mad Lib on my blog.  My marriage counselor laughed and Jared shook his head the way that he always does when I announce that something is going to show [...]

We pulled into the parking lot for our counseling appointment last week and I noted that our counselor’s car wasn’t there yet.
“Ohhh, shit,” Jared and I realized in unison that we had scheduled the appointment for a half an hour earlier than usual, and that we were late rather than a few minutes early.
We stood [...]

Two weeks ago, I dragged two three children to the grocery store for our weekly shopping trip.
After they had endured more time than anyone should ever have to endure in a Wal-Mart, I took them to the nearby party supply store that had been converted into a costume shop for the Halloween season.
Emma had known [...]

We’d spent our first session introducing ourselves and covering our individual backgrounds and medical histories while sitting next to each other on a small couch.  When we walked into our second marriage counseling session, we found two chairs set up a few feet apart facing one another.
This was, apparently, the proper setting for The Dialogue.
That’s [...]

It wasn’t easy for me to make the decision to trust again.
He asked for one more chance, and I counted up all the one more chances that had already been given.  And blown.  I sat in the dark with the fear and the doubt and the uncertainty.  I got lost inside my own head, because [...]

Sent at 10:16 AM on Friday
Jared: Hey miss writer
brittmariereints: miss writer?
wha?
are you mocking me?
Jared: Don’t think to0 hard but
no
asking for help
brittmariereints: oh
ok
Jared: tamieka is trying to write something for her grandfather that passed yesterday
she is writing a poem or whatever you call
it when you
Say like
G – is for giving
R is for
brittmariereints: oh jesus god
corny is [...]

“Are you nervous or excited?” I asked.
Jared looked up from his half of the admissions packet we were filling out for our new marriage counselor.  He shrugged one shoulder and contorted his lips the way he always does when he doesn’t want to talk about something.  If he could have disappeared into the brown paisley [...]

Jared is moving home today.
It’s taken me 12 13 14 tries to write that sentence out.
Actually, I’ve written that sentence over and over and over again – it’s what comes before and after that sentence that keeps tripping me up.
Before
Almost everything that has happened over the last few months has led directly away from this [...]

Things are not looking good.
A week ago, I was awash with hope.  My defenses were down, my heart was softened.
I knew it was a risk, letting hope in it, but I made the concious decision that I could handle whatever consequences came from it.
I was strong.
And now, I’m weak.
Now, things are not hopeful.  Things are [...]

He said my name when he left Sunday morning.
“Bye, Britt.  I’ll see you on Tuesday.”
He never says my name.  Unless he’s mad at me or has been trying unsuccessfully to get my attention, he never uses my actual name.  Babe.  Honey.  Hey.  But never Britt.
Britt always stops me in my tracks.
This time, he wasn’t saying [...]