My friend Courtney, who is easily one of the most naturally gorgeous people I know, has talked me into potentially making an ass of myself.
Again.
You see, Courtney has a baby who is almost a year old now, and she has decided that she is sick and tired of carrying around her extra “baby weight”.  While [...]

My relationship with my salon and hair stylist is sacred.
You see, I love my hair.
I have naturally blond curly hair, and it is, as far as I’m concerned, my saving grace.  I may be short and 20 lbs overweight and have saggy, pancake boobs – but I have fanfuckingtastic hair.  My hair is to my [...]

I used to update my blog regularly so that my mom wouldn’t freak out over whether I was dead or depressed or something.
But now she just calls me most of the time if she’s worried about me and she’s pretty much too busy to read my blog now anyway.  And if your mom is too [...]

Before Twitter, blogs used to be where the exhibitionists among us shared the daily events of our lives with a world of strangers on the Internet.
Sure, we wrote beautiful prose about our startling insights and observations of human behavior.  We dove into our own inner psyches and peeled back the layers of common sense and [...]

When we say we want to be “writers” when we grow up, we imagine ourselves as a slightly shorter version of Carrie Bradshaw.
Or, at least, I do.  I mean, the woman had an insane shoe collection and lived in my favorite city in the entire world.  What’s not to emulate?
If not Carrie Bradshaw, then maybe [...]

When I fall behind on work stuff, my tendency is to push life aside and throw myself into getting “caught up”.  I can’t stand the idea of letting people down or just barely making a deadline or meeting only the minimum requirements.
(Unless we’re talking about laundry.)
For the first time in forever, I went almost an [...]

Things That Are Not Cool:
>> Having both of your children sick at the same time.
>> Waking up in the middle of the night to find one of your children throwing up in your bed.  On your sheets.
>> Having to change the sheets in the middle of the night while one of your children sits on [...]

Inspired by Finn, and Vanity Fair.
Miss Britt and the Proust Questionnaire:
What is your most marked characteristic?
My need to be heard, which is really secondary to my need to be understood.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Excellence.  In anything.  I used to believe it was ambition, but the desire to do more is [...]

Fair Warning:
The first person who lectures me after reading this post gets virtually punched in the nose.
And with that warm welcome…
The old adage says that I’m “burning the candle at both ends”.
In reality, I’ve got a freaking candelabra burning up in here.
And not a pretty, dainty, simple candelabra like this:

Oh, no.  No.  That would be [...]

I’ve been a little anxious about this upcoming weekend.
You see, here in central Florida it’s time for Avitaween – Avitable’s ginormous Halloween party where about 100 people, including about 30 bloggers who I happen to adore, gather in costumes for a night of fun and ridiculous behavior.
See? A completely rational reason to be anxious, [...]

I always feel insanely narcissistic when I do an update on “how I’ve been” or “what I’ve been up to”.
And I’m a blogger.  So that’s saying something.  (Because we are inherently narcissistic, I mean.)
But, well, LOOK!  BULLET POINTS!  ON HOW I’VE BEEN!
(Because I am narcissistic and too lazy for sentence structure.)
0) Hilly and I took [...]

I love that I over share.  It lets someone in the world know that they are not alone, or crazy.
I love that I am not afraid of pain.  It doesn’t bother me to cry or fight or doubt.  Knowing this about myself makes me feel brave.
I love that I laugh.  Hard.  In damn near any [...]

“Hey, Smiley,” he said as he folded his 6 foot plus frame into the front seat of my two door convertible.
Smiley, he said.  And I did.  And in the same instant I forgot about how I had just spent the 30 minute drive over to his hotel wishing I had cleaned out my car.  The [...]

I have a problem.
A serious, real and actual problem.
I have officially run out of room for shoes.  Again.

And also?

Full. Completely.
And that’s before I got these.

I mentioned to my husband that we needed to come up with a solution for this problem because I literally do not have room to purchase and store one more [...]

I dated a guy in college who was obsessed with movie quotes.
He’d send me random text messages with lines from Jim Carrey movies and wait for me to guess the name of the movie.  He’d giggle if I got them right and strut if I got them wrong, impressed with his superior knowledge of movies [...]