We pulled into the parking lot for our counseling appointment last week and I noted that our counselor’s car wasn’t there yet.
“Ohhh, shit,” Jared and I realized in unison that we had scheduled the appointment for a half an hour earlier than usual, and that we were late rather than a few minutes early.
We stood [...]

The time has come for me to start my own cult.
I don’t know how it happened.  I certainly wasn’t looking for it.  But I woke up this morning to find that I had 2,000 followers looking to me to lead them.
I mean, clearly that has to be it.
I don’t even know 2,000 people – but [...]

Because my God I am tired of looking at that other post.
1.  The words “another round” are from Satan himself.
2.  Especially when they are said by someone else and yet, somehow, include you.
3.  Especially if you do not drink as much – or as quickly – as the person saying “another round” who is, somehow, [...]

Last night, Jared and I decided to take advantage of the fact that we still do not have any children at home to distract us from having to talk to one another and go out for dinner together.
I suggested my favorite Japanese restuarant, Kobé, because we have always had a great time and really enjoyed [...]

First let me say that any and all BlogHer recaps here will be woefully short on the pretty pictures, because one of the very first things I did in Chicago was drop and break my point and shoot camera.
Y’all are stuck with having to read real and actual words.  Sorry.
SO – Wednesday morning I woke [...]

The best time to make a drastic change to your appearance is right before you go and meet 1400 or so strangers for the first time.
Clearly.
Which is why I thought it was an awesome idea to lure Hilly over to my house Sunday night under the guise of hanging out and then proceed to force [...]

The kids left Friday morning.
Red Eye movie download
By Friday night, Jared and I were ready to walk on the wild side.
We headed out for a romantic dinner at the local sports bar.  Because nothing says romance and wild and crazy like a place with big screen TVs and free face painting on Wednesday nights.
Right.  Awesome.  [...]

Somewhere there is a newlywed couple enjoying their honeymoon and trying to forget about the obnoxious woman who interrupted their wedding.
That woman is me.
I spent last weekend sharing a hotelroom with Hilly and Becky at the Doubletree hotel in Lexington, Kentucky.  The hotel was beautiful and featured an indoor courtyard with a lovely fountain just [...]

I blame it on the little black dress.
The little black dress makes you think you can do anything and be anyone.  Take one little black dress, a pair of red heels, and a bartender pouring free wine, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.  Throw in a “charity event” and a silent auction and you’ve [...]

And no, I am not driving.

You know why I love the Internets?
Because the Internets doesn’t ask questions.
If you tell the Internet that you were in Glamour magazine, they promise to run right out and buy the issue as soon as it hits newsstands.  Hell, they’ll probably be the first ones to tell you they saw you in a national magazine.  [...]

When you sign up to take a cycling class, you don’t expect it to be easy.
When you sign up to take a cycling class and you are out of shape, you expect it to be down right hard. You anticipate that you are going to have certain problems.
Specifically, you know your legs are going [...]

There are two things you need to know to understand what I’m about to tell you:
1) Once in a while, I wear a thong. As in that underwear that is mostly loin cloth in the front and string up your butt in the back.
2) I haven’t been alone in a bedroom or bathroom since [...]

Dear Wii Fit,
I did not take it personally when you said I was slightly overweight. I admit, I was impressed that you could weigh me so accurately.
I did not get mad when you stopped mid push up to announce that I had taken a break. I mean I had, after all, rolled over on [...]

I have a paralyzing fear of the camera.
Actually, no. It’s not paralyzing. It is whatever the exact opposite of paralyzing is. When a camera is pointed in my direction I find it suddenly impossible to just. sit. still.
The idea of you being able to just look at me, without the buffer of [...]