Cool and Uncool.

by Miss Britt on November 12, 2009

Things That Are Not Cool:

>> Having both of your children sick at the same time.

>> Waking up in the middle of the night to find one of your children throwing up in your bed.  On your sheets.

>> Having to change the sheets in the middle of the night while one of your children sits on the floor next to a glass bowl.

>> Waking up the next morning to find that one of your children had also threw up on your comforter.  And your pillow.

>> Getting one child well enough to go to school, but still having one kid sick enough to have to stay home.

>> Getting sick yourself, while you have one sick kid at home.

>> Throwing up.

>> Throwing up so hard that you pee your pants.

>> Admitting that “throwing up” could easily be replaced with “laughing”, “sneezing”, “coughing”, “jumping”.

>> Realizing that you’re not even 30, and you’re making the same jokes about peeing your pants as your 49 year old mother.

>> Neither of you are actually joking.

>> Thinking of your mom peeing her pants makes you exceptionally sad that you don’t have your mom when you’re sick and covered in your own vomit and pee.

Things That Are Cool:

>> Having your husband voluntarily leave work early because both kids are sick – which marks the first time in 10 years that he’s ever left work because someone at home was sick.

>> Having your husband leave work early again when you call him crying because you are siiiiiiick and it huuuuurts and you peeeeeeeed and you want your mommmmmeeeeeee.

>> Having your husband finally just decide to not even bother going into work because clearly you are useless and both kids are now home because Veteran’s Day was in the middle of the damn week.

>> Waking up after being sick forever to find that, while your husband was bringing you soup and waking you up to make you take sips of Diet 7Up from a straw and rubbing your back and shoving little white pills down your throat because the flu is no good reason to skip your antidepressants, woman!, he also managed to clean the house and do all the laundry.

>> Including those sheets.  And the comforter.  And your pillow.

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46 Comments so far

  1. Faiqa November 12, 2009 9:32 am

    Very cool. Very.

    Reply

  2. muskrat November 12, 2009 9:32 am

    Miserable!

    Reply

  3. Hilly November 12, 2009 9:41 am

    Welcome to the oh so very exclusive Tinkle Club. Sadly, there are many of us here.

    Reply

  4. bo November 12, 2009 9:44 am

    Yay for Jared!

    Not so much for vomiting, though.

    Reply

  5. Vicky November 12, 2009 9:49 am

    Yay for the hubby! Hope you are feeling better, and the kids too!

    Reply

  6. LeSombre November 12, 2009 9:51 am

    It would be more of a problem if you threw up when you pee too hard. Silver lining right there.

    (Hope you feel better!)

    Reply

  7. I REFUSE November 12, 2009 9:59 am

    Dude… I have been sick for 2 months with a cough and have gone through LOADS of pads because of the pee. GOD SAVE ME!!

    Reply

  8. Just Me November 12, 2009 9:59 am

    Ahhh…the peeing….I hate it. Can’t laugh, sneeze, cough, throw up without the thought of “oh my goodness Im going to pee myself”!!

    Glad your hubby is cool!

    Feel better!

    Reply

  9. Summer November 12, 2009 10:00 am

    I love you for admitting that you pee when your sneeze/cough/jump. ‘Cause sadly, so do I.

    Reply

  10. Hannah November 12, 2009 10:04 am

    Boo vomiting!

    HOORAY Jared!

    Reply

  11. Kristin November 12, 2009 10:09 am

    Sucks that you all were sick. Glad that Jared was able to help.
    And for the record, just last month, I was puking so hard I peed my pants too. You are not alone.

    Reply

  12. Finn November 12, 2009 10:11 am

    I hope everyone’s feeling better. And I hope Jared doesn’t get sick.

    And oh, the vomiting and peeing… they really ought to put this all in writing and hand it to you before you ever decide to have kids. Or even sex for the first time. Ugh.

    Reply

  13. Mandi Bone November 12, 2009 10:12 am

    Not only am I sick both my daughters are too. My husband has been gone since Monday.

    I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!

    I hope you are on the mend.

    Reply

  14. Melanie (ModernMami) November 12, 2009 10:16 am

    At the risk of making his head explode…THAT is an awesome man. Almost as good as mine. ;)

    Hope you all heal soon!

    Reply

  15. pixielation November 12, 2009 10:19 am

    I know the cool things don’t make up for the uncool stuff – but he’s a gem. I hope you get well soon.

    (And I hope you don’t pass it on to him, there is nothing worse than a “man cold” !)

    Reply

  16. maman November 12, 2009 10:20 am

    Feel better soon. I know I keep coughing and am SICK of it. (and I cough so hard that it makes me pee and vomit… I am tired of that too)

    Reply

  17. Dawn November 12, 2009 10:21 am

    It’s been a very long time since I’ve last thrown up… thanks for that reminder. :)

    I’m so sorry you’re all feeling (and/or felt) so sick. Awful! How sweet is Jared, though? Very!

    Reply

  18. stacy O November 12, 2009 10:25 am

    I hear ya…peeing your pants suck!! Unfortunately, I do it without puking…Yea for Jared, (they can be taught) feel better…

    Reply

  19. Peggy November 12, 2009 10:29 am

    Even worse than peeing whilst hurling….CRAPPING your pants whilst hurling!! Been there…don’t wanna go back.

    Reply

  20. Sincerely, Jenni November 12, 2009 11:05 am

    Ah yes, peeing at inconvenient times.

    No one tells you that turning 30 means you wet your pants on command.

    Reply

  21. Robin November 12, 2009 11:16 am

    You never stop wanting your mommy when you are sick do you? Luckily my husband makes an excellent mommy.

    Reply

  22. Mrs. Brightside November 12, 2009 11:20 am

    Let’s also not forget, re-living your youth with your own children by jumping on the trampoline. You feel pretty damn good about yourself that ya still got it at 33 until you relaize that with every jump’s landing…you pee just a bit! Mental note made:”must use liner while jumping”

    Love your blog! Had to chime in!

    Reply

  23. hello haha narf November 12, 2009 11:22 am

    my new ob/gyn actually told me my bladder was low or slipped or some such shit because sneezing or coughing or laughing can make me leak. yes, i totally said leak. (at least you can blame childbirth, i just have a bladder that decided to move??!?!!)

    i totally love jared right now. even more than i did before this post.

    Reply

  24. Employee No. 3699 November 12, 2009 11:33 am

    Good job, Jared.

    Hope you and kids are feeling better soon.

    Reply

  25. Hockeymandad November 12, 2009 11:37 am

    Nice job Jared. Hope you feel better soon Britt.

    Reply

  26. Karin aka perpstu November 12, 2009 12:20 pm

    Yuck to the vomiting and bravo to Jared! I hope everyone in your household has recovered because being sick alone sucks, being sick with your kids is the worst!

    Reply

  27. Headless Mom November 12, 2009 12:23 pm

    All of those things that Jared did FAR OUTWEIGH any of the uncool things. Seriously.

    Reply

  28. Sybil Law November 12, 2009 2:05 pm

    That Jared is a damn good man!!!
    Hope everyone feels better soon!!!

    Reply

  29. Aunt Becky November 12, 2009 2:16 pm

    Feel better, yo.

    Reply

  30. Elizabeth Kaylene November 12, 2009 2:47 pm

    I hope you guys feel better, and I hope Jared doesn’t get sick, too.

    Reply

  31. Little Miss Sunshine State November 12, 2009 5:16 pm

    **patting Jared on the back**

    Didn’t ANY of believe the nurses when they said “DO THE KEGELS”

    Reply

  32. Lisa November 12, 2009 5:35 pm

    Jared totally rocked the caretaking! I’m glad you’re starting to feel better!

    Reply

  33. Selma November 12, 2009 6:28 pm

    I’m with Peggy.What is worse than peeing when you puke is pooping when you puke. Not fun.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    Good on you, Jared!!

    Reply

  34. Miss Grace November 12, 2009 8:22 pm

    What’s even LESS cool is waking up in the middle of the night because your child is puking on your face.
    Just sayin’.

    Reply

  35. Nanna November 12, 2009 9:07 pm

    Awwwwwwww. How awesome is that? I love you, little one, and I DO wish I could have been there for you. Damn teleporter’s down again

    Reply

    Bre Reply:

    @Nanna, OMG you actually HAVE ONE?? I’ve been looking for one forEVER!
    Lol!

    Reply

  36. Keely November 12, 2009 11:31 pm

    My mom wants nothing to do with me when I’m sick. I’m pretty sure I need to re-negotiate her contract.

    Reply

  37. Fantastagirl November 12, 2009 11:49 pm

    Life is never good when the mommy is sick too! Glad the kids are feeling better – you too! Hoping that Jared doesn’t get it!

    Reply

  38. themuttprincess November 13, 2009 11:47 am

    Hope you feel better and that is super awesome your husband helped out in ways you needed. Clean laundry is THE BEST (when someone else does it!)

    Reply

  39. Meg November 13, 2009 10:09 pm

    Yep, I’ve been there too. Not. Cool.

    Have you ever had to decide whether to throw up in the toilet or sit on it?

    YEAH. That’s even less cool than throwing up so hard that you pee.

    I KNOW.

    Feel better soon!

    Reply

  40. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] November 13, 2009 11:37 pm

    Husbands have a way of being totally awesome when it counts.

    Reply

  41. brittany November 14, 2009 8:03 am

    At first I was like, OMG do you lie in my house and I don’t even know it?

    But then I got to the cool parts, and quickly realized…no…you don’t.

    Am now printing this out and sticking it on the fridge.

    Reply

  42. Bre November 14, 2009 12:05 pm

    Props to Jared!
    I’m glad you’re being well taken care of when you can’t have your Mom!

    Reply

  43. Andria November 15, 2009 12:25 am

    Does he have any single brothers, cousins? Who like pregnant single women?
    (No harm in asking, right?)

    You have a keeper. That’s a good man!

    Reply

  44. Tonz November 15, 2009 5:08 pm

    Hope you’re all feeling better. And I’m not sure I would have coped with all the vomiting.

    I love that feeling when you walk out and the house and laundry are clean and you didn’t even know he’d done it. Awesome!!

    Reply

  45. muskrat November 16, 2009 10:21 pm

    Things that ARE cool: me.

    Reply

  46. Al_Pal December 10, 2009 4:31 am

    That is a VERY good man.
    Great post.

    Reply

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