Just In Time

by Miss Britt on January 8, 2009

“Honey…”

“Yeah?” he calls over his shoulder, 3/4s of his gaze still on the TV.

“You know how for the last few holidays, Christmas and stuff, we haven’t exchanged gifts or anything?”

“Mmmhhh…” I suspect 3/4s of him is not listening to me, but I can work with 25%.

“I hated that. I know we did it for practical reasons and it was my idea and I hate wasting money and…”

“Mmmhhh… yeah… no, I know, honey…” I wonder what he thinks he’s agreeing with as he nods his head at measured intervals.

“…but it ruined it. I miss celebrating with you. I miss celebrating each other. I don’t care what we spend or if it’s stupid, but I don’t ever want to let another event go by without us taking the time to do something for each other.”

“Yep. K.”

“It’s just not the same when we neglect each other.”

“Yeah honey, that’s great, I know,” his nodding is becoming less convincing as I lose another percentage of his attention to – my God is that a Subway commercial he’s engrossed in?!?

“OK, so we’re agreed then?”

He begins a perfunctory response but forgets why before his mouth is completely open.

Jared? Babe?”

“Huh?” he startles, like an infant when a loud noise interrupts their sleep, “What? Yeah, of course!”

“So from now on we exchange gifts or time or something for each other. No more of this ‘oh holidays and stuff are just for kids and we’re fine’ crap?”

“Yes! Absolutely!”

I can tell he’s paying attention now, although I’m not sure how long I’ve got.

“Great! Thanks babe. I love you.”

He smiles, obviously glad to be let off some potentially dangerous hook with very little effort or struggle required on his part, “I love you too, honey.”

I turn away, content to let him go back to commercials and made for TV movies. Before I finish cutting up the salad in the other room, I turn back once more and call out over my shoulder…

“Remember, my birthday is this month! January 17th!”

“Son of a bitch.”

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35 Comments so far

  1. avitable January 7, 2009 6:29 pm

    You make fun of that slackjawed look, but you get it too whenever you’re watching TV!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I don’t know what you’re talking about, fucker.

    Reply

  2. SingleParentDad January 8, 2009 7:48 am

    Exploiting ignorance in your better half? You’ll go a very, very long way.

    I hope his retort is a present that includes some benefit for himself, like a trip away, really nice restaurant or amusement park. Those types of presents are the best.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    *I* was merely trying to have a nice, open, honest communication with the man I want to spend eternity with!

    Reply

    SingleParentDad Reply:

    Is that the official party line?

    *well played*

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    *graceful bow*

    *shit eating grin*

    Reply

  3. whall January 8, 2009 8:16 am

    Heh. Subway. Jared. I get it now.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Oh. Um. YES! That’s what I meant!

    Reply

  4. Turnbaby January 8, 2009 8:21 am

    LOL!

    And very nice way to remind us;-)

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Are you kidding me? I’ve been talking about my birthday on facebook and Twitter for DAYS now! If any of you still need reminding, you are CLEARLY not paying attention. ;-)

    Reply

    Turnbaby Reply:

    I rarely look at Twitter sugar and FB is very odd in how it updates. But I know now;-)

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    So what you’re saying is – I need to send you personal messages from now on when a day of awesomeness is approaching?

    Noted. ;-)

    Reply

  5. Gemini January 8, 2009 8:54 am

    I think that sometimes my husband does that to me… hmmm I need to pay attention more. lol

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    As a newlywed, I got offended.

    Now I seize the opportunities.

    Reply

  6. Vic January 8, 2009 9:27 am

    Men never learn (sorry guys, but you don’t). There’s always a good reason to pay attention to a woman when she’s talking to you!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Yeah! Damn straight!

    Reply

  7. always home and uncool January 8, 2009 9:57 am

    He does have a link to your online wish list, right?

    And BTW, My Love has forgotten my birthday once and berated me in a Home Depot on another. This is not a male-only/husband-only problem despite the stereotype. Felt I should point this out.

    Now I’m off to continue the fight for truth, justice and Bombay Sapphire martinis for all.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I forget birthdays CONSTANTLY.

    His is on the 4th of July, so he’s pretty safe. But otherwise? Yeah, so not just a guy thing.

    Reply

  8. Pensive Legal Alien January 8, 2009 9:58 am

    I’m convinced that not owning a TV (-reception) contributes a lot to our quality of life. (I love dvds, but not the stuff they feed you with on air.)

    Greetings from another Capricorn…

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    We went without TV during lent once and I would totally agree with you.

    Reply

  9. Honeybell January 8, 2009 10:00 am

    My husband and I didn’t exchange gifts this year for Christmas. Ugh, never again. It just wasn’t as much fun. I have entirely too much fun shopping for him, and he is an awesome gift giver!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Yep, exactly. It wasn’t fun not only not getting anything, but not giving him anything. I love that planning!

    Reply

  10. hello haha narf January 8, 2009 10:07 am

    you mean him staying home with the kids while you and i run away for a weekend isn’t present enough?

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I’m sorry – do you hate me or something?

    And, no. Him staying home with HIS children while I go on a weekend that *I* planned isn’t exactly.. um.. the point.

    To be clear though, I’m not looking for some big expensive gift. We do share our money 100%, after all. Hell, I’d be happy with a homemade card if he put a little time and effort into it.

    Reply

  11. hello haha narf January 8, 2009 10:12 am

    shhhh, don’t tell jared, but i totally agree that you should be celebrated on your birthday. i’m big on birthdays. LOVE them.

    Reply

  12. Finn January 8, 2009 10:12 am

    Mister’s birthday is the 22nd. Why the hell didn’t I think of this “gifts are for the kids” thing?

    At least you gave him a week to think of something. Although sometimes I think they need more like a month of constant reminders.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Would post it notes be going too far?

    Reply

  13. ali January 8, 2009 10:21 am

    you = my hero
    :)

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    you = easily impressed

    I LIKE that about you. ;-)

    Reply

  14. Sarcastica January 8, 2009 10:25 am

    Oh Miss Britt! You make me laugh haha :) that was smooth though, really smooth and props for it ahha

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I have the smooth skillz. Clearly.

    Reply

  15. NYCWD January 8, 2009 10:28 am

    Wow.

    I smelled that one at I miss celebrating me each other.

    Kudos to you FTW.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    That’s because you were paying attention.

    Reply

  16. B.E. Earl January 8, 2009 11:10 am

    So what are you getting me? Wait…did I read that post the wrong way? Crap!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Well, I think what you really want is a butcher block island for your kitchen. Right?

    Reply

  17. Faiqa January 8, 2009 11:20 am

    A woman has to get presents on her birthday. It’s, like, a LAW.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I agree.

    Can you write tickets or something for violators?

    Reply

  18. Hilly January 8, 2009 11:30 am

    Hahaha, you are awesome! No seriously…skilled and awesome.

    I always ask for things when the TV is on. I know enough to work my magic when I am not being listened to fully. ;)

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I keep trying to tell you people this!

    Reply

  19. Dawn January 8, 2009 11:49 am

    This sounds like a conversation between me and my husband.

    Except he’s big on gift-giving. Not so big on listening, though.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Jared doesn’t have a problem with gift giving. It’s time and thought that kills him.

    And every time we’ve NOT exchanged gifts it’s been my idea.

    Reply

  20. themuttprincess January 8, 2009 12:09 pm

    At least you know he paid FULL attention to that part. And you benefit!!!!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    And I documented it here, too, just to be safe.

    Reply

  21. Donna January 8, 2009 12:55 pm

    HAHA!!!!!!!! I love it! Great job! And you’re two days after me birthday wise! January babes rock!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    You lucky dog! Doesn’t that mean you always get your birthday off for MLK day? Or am I getting my dates wrong?

    Reply

    Donna Reply:

    Sometimes I do. But I lived in LA and there they didn’t believe in taking that day off. I think here in CA I will. I do miss the days when I did get it off. I think we’ll both get to celebrate it this year since it falls on the 19th! I read this post to the Hubby and he said Damn, no comment.

    Reply

  22. Bonnie B. January 8, 2009 1:37 pm

    What IS IT with men intently watching commercials at full volume?? I can’t hit the mute button fast enough when they come on and my husband listens to them with as much attention as he’s watching the show/game/etc with!!

    BTW, LOVING this new feature of instant commenting!!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I’m a big fan of the new feature, too!

    I don’t know – I hate commercials. HATE. Pay for a DVR just so that I don’t have to watch them.

    Hate.

    Reply

  23. Chris January 8, 2009 2:00 pm

    Well done! Now just create wish lists and email them to him and you’re golden. Not that I’ve done that at all, ever…

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    He is well aware of my wish list.

    Plus, I just say “man, I really want

    Reply

  24. Ashleigh January 8, 2009 2:01 pm

    My husband forgot my last birthday.. My 18th birthday, to be exact.
    And he was at work all day that day, ha.
    Our anniversary is in a few weeks. I’m totally not above post it notes as reminders.
    And AMEN about DVR. Commercials suck.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    It sounds like you’ll need more than post its.

    Have you looked into billboards?

    Reply

    Ashleigh Reply:

    Not a bad idea, maybe a few on his way to work would do the trick.
    They’d have to be obnoxiously colored for him to maybe notice.

    Reply

  25. Lee the MWOB Queen January 8, 2009 2:24 pm

    Very interesting. This is exactly what my dude and I do. We say let’s not exchange anything for all of those practical reasons but most of the time we get each other a little something cause we just feel like we want to. But I will say it’s nice to take the pressure off in busy times – that’s a gift unto itself but I will admit…it’s important to take the time and energy for the spouse. I would rather have a little TIME than a gift….

    nice post.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    It’s all about the Time and Energy for me. I am more than capable of buying myself Stuff.

    Reply

  26. J... January 8, 2009 3:27 pm

    Fuck Britt, that was just priceless! :) Totally wish I had you skill.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I’m pretty sure it’s an easy skill to acquire. Just keep telling yourself “I, too, can be a sneaky bitch.”

    Reply

  27. Summer January 8, 2009 5:20 pm

    When hubby and I celebrate with gifts it’s not that great since he will only buy from a list. I hate that he can’t think of something on his own.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I feel the same way about lists.

    But, at the same time, it means a lot if he found the time to go and buy something, ahead of time, without me knowing. That in itself requires some planning around here!

    Reply

  28. twinkie January 8, 2009 5:43 pm

    I agree that you have to take “time” or a “thoughful gift” on special days. In this hustle and bustle of life and work and taking care of the kids we tend to neglect what’s most important, each other.

    Mr. Twinkie always makes me a nice dinner on Mother’s Day, and Valentines Day. I prefer it to eating out because it’s always so packed on those days and makes for a misereable experience.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    What a sweet tradition!

    Reply

  29. Poppy January 8, 2009 7:35 pm

    He’s going to get you one of those old western boudoir photos for your birthday, where he’s just wearing a gun holster, with a feather boat around his neck and cowboy boots on his feet.

    Ack.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Oh. My. Gawd.

    I hope so.

    hahahhahahhaha

    Reply

  30. Poppy January 8, 2009 7:36 pm

    I said boat. That’s even funnier.

    Reply

  31. SciFi Dad January 8, 2009 8:33 pm

    Well played. I am suitably impressed.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Thank you. *curtsy, because I think that’s what ladies do, yes?*

    Reply

  32. Jason January 8, 2009 10:58 pm

    So I guess all guys really are the same….loved the twist at the end Britt, keep up the great work!

    Jason

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    Oh I would never say all guys are the same.

    But I’ve been with this one long enough to predict how it works. ;-)

    Reply

  33. father muskrat January 8, 2009 11:30 pm

    you’re a sinister little mid-westerner.

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    hahhahahahhahahahha – I’m still dying about the MidWestern accent comment!

    Reply

  34. Courtney January 9, 2009 12:35 am

    ahaha! That’s fantastic. I hope he gets ya something good!

    Reply

    Miss Britt Reply:

    I hope he gets me something sweet. :-)

    Reply

  35. Coal Miner's Granddaughter January 10, 2009 10:12 pm

    HA! Awesome, hon! Good job catching him when his attention is elsewhere. :)

    Reply

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