Monday, Hilly wrote a post that broke my heart.
Confessions of a Blogger Who Is Not A Mommy was an interesting look at what adult women who have not had kids encounter in their relationships with other women. It hurt my heart to think of this beautiful person being identified for something she is not instead of all the wonderful things she is.
But she brings up some interesting points.
More and more people are waiting to have kids - or not having them at all. Their lives, as a result, ultimately are very different from those of us who do have kids.
Us. Them.
Adult society has been divided into new sets of Haves and Have Nots.
Adam is a Have Not, while I am a Have Two.
Does one of us lead a more “fulfilling” life than the other?
Is it easier to be friends with other Have Nots if you’re a member of the Just Don’t Get It camp?
We’re going to talk about that and more tonight on Clearly, You’re Retarded.
What you need to know about the show:
- You can listen live at 9pm EST every Wednesday night on the TalkShoe show page.
- If you listen live you’ll have a chance to participate in the chatroom and call in during the last half hour.
- You can download past shows any time on iTunes or right here.
- I am the best damn part of the show. Adam is tolerable.
This show should be interesting. Being friends with someone from the other side of the baby aisle can present some unique challenges as well as unique perspectives.
Posted in Blogging Tips, Tricks and Junk for Other Bloggers Tagged: "clearly you're retarded", child free, internet radio, parenting, talk radio shows, talkshoe
And here I sit in the middle, with 1.95, at least for the next two weeks.
Should be an interesting show. I’ve always wondered the reasons why some people don’t want kids. (For me, I’ve just always liked them; hell, when I was in university I used to stay in on a Saturday night to babysit my 2 year old niece so my sister and BIL could go out.)
fuck, i don’t care if my friends are or aren’t married, do or don’t have kids. i hang out with them and have fun regardless. sometimes i go to a bar, sometimes i go to the children’s museum.
if i don’t like the way you parent, i probably don’t like a bunch of other shit about you so THAT is why we aren’t friends. hehe
fortunately my friends don’t mind if i am a single to their couple if i don’t want to force a date. they don’t mind leaving their kids with me if i want to take a little one to the science center or zoo.
i have some pretty damn amazing friends. :)
p.s. rambling comment due to the fact that i will miss most of the show to the fucking bowling that i got committed to. i should be committed!
How kind you are to mention Hilly’s post. It made a big impression on me too. I will really look forward to your show which will happen tomorrow morning for me. See you then!
This looks like it will be fun;-)
Wait. I think I’m the Have and you’re the Have Not, because by having kids, you can’t have anything else.
Oops - that last comment was me, not Britt.
I’ll definitely try to listen tonight.
My husband and I are young enough to still have friends who are just starting to get married; we have not approached the Have/Have Nots stage of life just yet. I don’t think it will be very different, considering we’re still undecided about kids and definitely not in any rush. But then again, people with kids DO have different priorities and sometimes undergo personality changes. (Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.)
A lot of people look at us funny when we say we might not ever want kids. I find it kind of rude that people try to talk us into kids or say things like, “Your clock will start ticking soon!” I don’t make any disparaging remarks about their decision to have kids so why do they feel compelled to say something to us just because we MIGHT not want any?
Anyway! Yes! Internet radio! Tonight!
The title implies that Hilly is a retard. For the record: She is not.
Anyway, I really try my very hardest to not give any advice to my friends with kids, and therefore have NEVER, EVER gone through what Hilly has. Instead of giving advice I shower my friends’ children with love and concern, care for them in moments their parents cannot or specifically ask me to do so, and the end result is that my friends say “you’d be a great mother!”
Yup, yup.
Anyway. It’s really amusing to me to talk individually with all my girlfriends who have kids and hear them say “I love so-and-so to death, but I hate how she parents her kids and I wish she’d stop telling me how to parent mine.” So, goes both ways.
Apparently Poppy’s Word of the Day is: Anyway.
Not to be confused with Pee Wee’s word.
Thanks for steering me over there - since I know what she’s going through.
I keep meaning to listen, but this may be the week I make it a point to do so.
I have a lot of friends who do NOT have children. In fact I have more friends without children than those with children. I value what they have to say. Now that I have a child in junior high we all relate back to our own junior high experiences. The conversations are actually quite fun.
Then again, I have friends without children who I think are more qualified to be parents than I am. What does that say?
Wow, TalkShoe, what a great thing!
Many of my friends don’t have kids and are not married/in relationships.
I don’t think that I can say that one of us has a more fulfilling life than the others, but in response to Lisa’s comment above me–those kidless friends who think that they are more qualified to be parents than you are really, really chap my ass.
“…what adult women who have not had kids encounter in their relationships with other women.
Yes, and childless adult MEN are pretty much relegated to pariah status too.
If Adam had children, two major changes:
1) way less blogging/commenting and
2) no blogging at all
In that order.
When i read Hilly’s post, I was thinking this would make for a great show - glad you’re doing it.
AND I’ll be able to listen because HIGH SPEED INTERNET has come to Bumfuck, Ontario. WOOOOT!
Wayne, I think I’d totally blog more. I’d have tons of blog fodder.
You do realize that I wouldn’t have a kid until I could afford full-time child care, right?
@Avitable - then we should make a T-shirt campaign to raise money for your child care needs.
“Donate to the Avitable Child Care Fund. Because he’d make a good blog fodder.”
“The child that neverwas”
“Avitable’s kids need a good fodder”
Wow, hey! I am so excited that you are doing a radio show about this because well, I’ve had three separate discussions with people since I posted and they all lead down roads where I never thought I would go.
How is THAT for a run-on sentence?
Anyway, thank you very much for linking to my post. It’s been awesome because I feel like I am connected again, if that makes sense? :)
I will be there tonight unless an earthquake happens or what have you!
Oh and like Poppy…I was thinking that it does look like I am retarded…but since I *am*, who cares!?!?
I will be listening, and maybe calling in.
J.
Dammit! I would so enjoy this show, but if my power’s not back on, it’s highly unlikely I can listen!
I have plenty of friends whithout kids, and it’s never been an issue for me. Not with my close friends, anyway.
Please pray I get power today. I am so going insane!
Your friend Hilly seems like a totally decent gal. I read her post, very good.
I take advice from my non-parent friends all the time about my daughter.
Maybe I’m humble because I’m only three years ahead of them? Or maybe because I know that the truth resides in the most unexpected places? Or because I know the right decision depends on researching various perspectives?
Or MAYBE because I SO perfectly AWESOME?
Perfectly tired ::YAWN::