*OR: The post that makes my step mom wish she hadn’t given this blog URL to everyone in my dad’s office. Heh. (Hi, Tina! Sorry, Dad!)
You people are a bunch of freaks.
Seriously.
Sometimes I swear I am the only woman left who has sex in the dark. At night. At bed time. In a bed.
I’m absolutely certain I am the last of the Mohicans Who Have Never Masturbated. (My apologies to the Mohicans for that totally unnecessary and inappropriate cultural reference.)
It seems that everywhere I look, from Cosmo to the blogosphere, everyone who is anyone is having all kinds of wild and crazy sex. You like it rough, you like it with batteries, you like it on uncomfortable surfaces when no one is home. You people just can’t get enough of Teh Sex.
And then there is me.
I don’t need an elaborate game of role play to get me in the mood. I prefer to avoid having to acclimate my vagina to anything that requires an owner’s manual. I limit the use of my butthole to pooping. And I sure as hell don’t expect to acquire any injuries during foreplay.
Apparently, that’s just me.
And you know what? I’m perfectly happy with my au naturale sex life.
I’m not repressed. I’m not puritanical. I’m not too sheltered to “know”. I’ve experienced The Big O more than some men, thank you very much.
And I’m tired of feeling like I have to keep up with the Nymphomaniac Stereotype that I see portrayed everywhere in the name of women reclaiming their sexuality. It seems that popular opinion has swung to the idea that if you are truly “comfortable” with yourself, you will gladly prove it to the world by sharing your fantastic escapades in the bedroom.
Something about that doesn’t sit right with me.
Whatever happened to sex being private? Whatever happened to sex between two people being fun and exciting and fulfilling all on it’s own - without the elaborate props and supplements?
It’s primal. It’s instinctive. Your bodies know how to do it without magazine articles or detailed diagrams. It can absolutely be enhanced and perfected with good communication with your partner - but it’s not rocket science, for Pete’s sake!
I think it’s time for the “prudes” to take a stand.
We should unite in our ability to copulate in the dark! We should not be ashamed of our plain old skin on skin fornication any longer! We should stand proud and loud and say “I only use my shower head to wash my hair!”
My name is Britt, and I have good old fashion, hot, steamy sex in my own bed! Whenever I am not too tired! RAWR!
Who’s with me?
————————————————————————————————-
I wonder what we will talk about tonight? I’ll give you a hint - it starts with a “P” and ends with a “ornography and whether it objectifies women.” Join us live at 9pm EST, sign up for reminders, or download earlier episodes on the Clearly, You’re Retarded show page.
Posted in Bitching Again Tagged: "clearly you're retarded", marriage, masturbation, radio show, relationships, sex, talkshoe
I still maintain my position that you need to masturbate at least once. If you need help, I’m an expert. And a doctor.
Seriously.
Never?
Wow.
::blink::
::crickets chirping::
You are the Britt that works for Adam Avitable, right?
sorry, babe, but you are on your own here.
Congratulations… after you have been married for as long as I have and been dissed as long, you may criticize what I do to get by. I hope you never get there.
amen! In the bed, lights off. However those who read my blog know that my bed frame broke twice on sunday night while we were *cough* sleeping. So maybe not exactly a prude.
I agree that sometimes sex is too “out there”. I spent a good deal of my life as a pretty repressed person. But thanks to a few kind souls, I got over it. Now I proudly fly my freak flag. In private, natch.
But you’ve never masturbated? That’s quite a statement! Sex with a partner is awesome. I love it. But I will never give up masturbation. My first. My last. My everyting! Um, ya know what I mean.
I’m not saying I masturbate a lot, but you’re lucky I made the time to type this comment.
Thank God there’s another good and appropriate Catholic girl out there!!!
But…Never? Really?
See, this is where I’m going to do a little bit of over-sharing and confess that I know it’s instinctive and primal and all that - because I didn’t share any sort of intimacy with a guy until I was 19, and I got the hang of it pretty damn quick, lol.
It doesn’t have to be wild and crazy to be fulfilling, or amazing, or hot. Plain old naked-in-a-dark-bedroom with that special someone is awesome, and it’s all I’ve ever wanted or needed. So, I agree with you completely about that.
However, I am going to echo Stephanie’s comment above: Never? Seriously? (Although I’ve never understood that shower head thing, to be honest. It’s almost like an urban legend in my mind; one of those things that you hear about, but never believe, lol.)
Strangely enough, my mother has called me a prude for most of my life. I don’t know if that says more about me or her.
Now that’s some good old fashioned Midwestern values right there! If that’s what works for you then cool beans. But, different things work for different people.
Maybe we’ll revisit this post in about 10 years and see where things stand.
Ummmm, hmm. Well… considering all of our (dear God, I hope) private conversations, I can’t help but feel you TOTALLY just dissed your BF.
I go back to my original pre-Britt motto, you cannot and must not EVER trust a prude.
Ok, but let’s pretend for a moment that I don’t know you and you don’t know me and I didn’t leave that other comment.
*clears throat*
Ummm… if you are lovin’ your private life so much then what does it matter what everyone else is doing?
Never? You’re joking, yes? And okay - so you called me a freak cuz yes, I suggested the dining room table and you might think that’s uncomfortable. But really, if you’re caught up in the moment it’s not. Plus … I’m from California and we’re kind of relaxed about things out here. It’s all that warm weather and sunshine …!! Besides, if you’ve never tried something - are you sure you might not like it?
Sex is good if it’s how you like it. And that’s all that matters. You know this. I know this. WE ALL KNOW THIS… End of story…
But also.. at the same time… REALLY?!?!?? NEVER?!?!??? I just.. I just.. WOW. Well, it’s not illegal or anything but… WOW! You should totally do THAT while your kids are away!! Just on your own. It’ll be like the mom in that Pleasantville movie!! All will be pretty colors!
Oh and also (last thing promise)… shower heads do work sometimes… its all about the angle (er…. TMI?? Damn)
Over and out!
Wait.
You wash your hair in the shower?
You are such a freak!!!
Everyone knows women was their hair in the sink!
um… ya… i got nothin’.
That “was” should have been “wash”.
Yeah.
This is a good sign my momentary insomnia is passing.
I think you have “reclaimed” your sexuality by addressing what you like and don’t like. At least, that’s my opinion. I think that’s the point, no?!
I do wish you’d give masturbation a whirl simply because you might discover something new about your body independently. It’s your body and your choice. Whatever you decide is the right decision.
Good for you, doll.
PS: I don’t think you’re a prude (by the by).
Wait. Are you saying you have NEVER masturbated? That is just…well…um…insane.
ok.. let me just say that I was you oh… about 5 years ago. Now.. not so much. Hey when you are in the mood and the other is not… you do whatcha gotta do:)
On the other hand I don’t really consider you a prude. Just careful because y’know your a mom and the kids walking on mom and dad in their lovin dance is not good for their emotional and mental state! Been there and done that!
ok… I meant you’re a mom. Geez…
*thud*
That was my jaw hitting the floor. Seriously. My life is ALL ABOUT freaky ways to masturbate. So uh yeah, there’s that…
Ok. So I had to reread that non masturbating mohecan line twice? I mean that’s not possible right? I didn’t even know you could masturbate yourself with your mohecan…
I’d either agree with you or say you are wrong, but that would require actually having sex..with someone to figure out what kind of sex I’d like.
So yeah..but on the other hand at least you like your au naturale sex, right?
I once read (In Men’s Health) that the average man masturbates daily … but just once.
Oh, and I don’t think you need the apology to your father. He was probably relieved to read this. You never quit being his little girl. (He might prefer to think you’d never had sex at all. Non-kinky sex would come in second.)
Well, if you can hit the big O without any additional help, ever, then you are doing better than millions of women out there. How about women who can only have an orgasm with some help? Should they give up the so-called “freak” way of doing it to live an au naturale life that isn’t sexually satisfying? I say to each her own, and however she needs to get there doesn’t make her a freak, or a prude.
It’s not just you.
I, too, am all about sex in our bed, in the dark, in the right hole. With no battery-operated anything.
But not with my husband.
I’M KIDDING, I’M KIDDING. Only with my husband.
LMAO! You are too funny. Now that I am married my sex life too has gone from fun and exciting to just in the bed.
Hmmmm……I will have to see what we can do about that! LOL
You are on your own here love!
Um, I know a lot of people are saying this, but really?! never? wow.
But hey, if you’re happy and it works for you, then there’s nothing wrong with that. Some plain old skin-on-skin action can be lots and lots of fun. I like it that way, but I also like it with a little battery-powered enhancement once in a while - alone or together. And outside. Course, I’m the girl who lost her virginity on a picnic table, so…
avitable: yeah, seems to me if it’s a “need to” thing - um, no. But thanks for the help.
Stephanie:
yep, the same.
hello haha narf: I KNOW! Man. I can’t believe I am the ONLY one!
lushlyme: um, this wasn’t meant as a slam on anyone. Seriously. The “freak” bit was pretty tongue in cheek.
indigo: my headboard needs to be replaced. Badly. (shhhh)
B.E. Earl: LOL, nope. Never. And I don’t see a problem with it - I just have no interest in it. I’m turned on by being with someone else.
Mary: LOL nope.
Lisa: see, that’s what I was trying to say - it’s all I ever wanted or needed.
Jay: *sigh* the tongue in cheek tone obviously didn’t come across here.
I sure as hell didn’t mean to assume there was anything WRONG with other people. Not seriously.
AmyD: dissed you? No way.
It was supposed to be kind of a joke.
Never mind. *sigh*
Twenty Four At Heart: nah, I lumped you in with a whole school of “freaks”! With LOVE.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t - I’m just saying I don’t have some burning desire to try it, and I’m cool with that. (And - I have had sex in places other than the bed, for the record. LOL)
little_lj: hahahahahahahaha, thanks for the tip.
NYCWD: and sometimes the bath.
Tori Blaine: well - HI.
katie schwartz: yeah, that was the point. I don’t think I did a very good job of getting it across though. LOL
Karl: why?
Mindy: I don’t atually consider myself a prude either - it was more a joke because that’s what I’ve been called.
So far, I’ve never had that “i’m in the mood and he’s not” thing - but I’m sure that’s partly an age issue. I can certainly see going that route if it got to that point though!
Sheila: me too.
Hilly: and if that works for you - rock on.
Freelance Guru: hahahhahahahaha
Sarah: I do like it - and that was supposed to be the point.
delmer: woah - did I say non kinky? I didn’t say non-kinky.
TK: no, they should absolutely NOT give that up.
People, I wasn’t seriously bashing anyone who is more out there. I was trying to say - back the fuck up off me that I don’t need all that other shit. It doesn’t make me a prude or repressed, I’m doing just fine thank you very much.
And mostly - IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING JOKE!
Sheesh.
Dawn: LOL - kidding not allowed here.
Kristin: woah - see, that’s what I’m talking about. Who says “in bed” can’t be fun and exciting??
Suze: oooh - I remember outside. That’s been a while, but that WAS nice.
When I was your age, I was ‘with you.’ As for who’s with you now? 1…2…3…NOT IT!
Amen to that post Britt!
But never? Really?!
Talk to me when you hit 35.
I wasn’t freaky at your age either!
Huh…..who woulda known if you hadn’t told us? Maybe maybe those of us with toys, batteries, and other fun stuff just like being different? Perhaps we are not freaks or nymphos, but just regular old people who want to try something different? It’s cool though, that you are happy with what you do. More people should be happy with what they do.
I meant it though….even if you were joking….. more people should be happy with what they do and not always compare themselves in the public eye for shits and giggles.
In your previous post about hypothetically having 3 weeks without you kid…ALL of the comments about having constant sex? I thought, wow, either they are nymphos or I’m repressed.
Glad to know I’m not repressed. Miss Britt, thank you for yet again reassuring me I’m not the crazy one - everyone else is.
BTW, the whole thing about women hitting their sexual peak at 35 is a myth. A total joke of a research project. It was based on masturbation rates, not sex.
I’m 34.5 and as wild as I have gotten as I approach midlife is a recent purchase of a vibrator. Someone stop me!
What’s wrong with knowing how you want it, when you want it, and who you want it with? If that’s being a prude, then count me in!
I like the dark best myself, in bed, with my hubby. Most comfortable. (not saying it can’t be fun elsewhere, but I’m all about downy pillows and soft blankets and being able to fall right off to sleep afterwards…)
I think in this case, the Internet’s veil of anonymity really helps–I’ll leave you comments all day long about how you should have sex in all the rooms of the house (and you SHOULD, at least once! :D), but the only way I’ll something like that in person is if I’m driiiiiinking a whole lot. I think sex is something you really should keep between yourself and your partner, and do it however you want to do it. :)
I get the joke. And I also get that you don’t need that other shit. Girl, you’re hot and I’m not saying that in a girl lusts for girl kind of way. Purely objective here (and envious). You have probably always been able to find a guy to–ahem–take care of your needs.
Me? I was a virgin til the age of 25 when I finally said, forget this shit, I’m getting me some. I had to–how do I say this delicately?–take care of myself and my own needs up until then. Then I stopped waiting for some white knight to sweep me off my feet and went out and got to business. Luckily my husband and I hooked up before I got too far down the slutty highway. And the hubs and I have been making up for lost time ever since.
He calls me a freak all the time. I take it as a term of endearment, so no worries. I completely get the tongue in cheek “freak”. I embrace it!
Wow! Revelation.
While I lean toward the depraved (at least by your standards Britt), I must say, I find it very refreshing when I discover another bit of evidence that not ALL American women aspire to be Jenna Jameson.
I’m all about one woman. But there must be light. ; )
You’re a closet freak, I just know it.
as i’ve asserted long and hard (heheh), i have Victorian Sensibilities. but you know, those Victorians were a wild bunch, all with their knickers.
hey, i say have sex any way you like, strict-missionary or with a hundred strict missionaries. tear shit up! as long as it’s s consensual.
Amen, sista!!!
95% prude here (save for the non-diddle-myself)
In bed. Lights off. Under covers.
The only sex I keep to myself is the sex I have with the neighborhood children.
Although I can’t side with you on the “never masturbating” thing… I do agree with you on the sex.
Lights off, in bed… and let the ‘magic’ ensue.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I tried masturbating once. It was like rubbing my elbow.
Also, my pooper is exit only thankyouverymuch. I’m glad to know I’m not a prude!
I am with you as far as toys and dress up go - none of those things turn me on whatsoever. But I was shocked about the masturbation part. I think… mostly, I think hey - whatever. But honestly, I never tried it until my own friends were like, “NEVER?!”, with me. And then I tried it. It was awesome. Haha. But still - I do like sex in other places than bed, and outside, and really - wherever. It’s just harder now to do that, with a kid running around.
You’re fine.
When my husband and I were dating, we had to get creative a time or two as far as location goes but until we were married and tried out all the “fun” stuff I got at my bachelorette party, those things freakin’ hurt and make you go numb!
Then I heard about the magical bullet (no, not the blender). So I bought one at a party but I could only ever use it WITH my husband, as a warm up, not a means to an end.
THEN my husband and I hit the skids for a while and that bullet became my new best friend. Until then, I had never *ahem* masturbated either.
NOW I’m having to re-learn bread and butter sex. Because THAT is what it is all about, for me. I just got used to having to do it myself. And now, I wish I would have just waited out that dry spell.
You know what else that is important is if you are satisfying your partners.
Yeah! There I said it! PARTNERS, as in more than one! See, Mrs. Y2K and I have been exclusive for over a quarter of a century and maybe I am falling into a rut, so I am thinking maybe I should, you know, expand the franchise. And look what a catch I am as a married, with 2 kids, short, fat and bald OLD man that makes hardly any money. please “feel free” to call 555-sex me-up
OH sorry about the spam there Britt. Did it come off as too desperate? You wrote down the number for later didn’t you? I can be one of your 5 if you want. Really!
uh… I meant one of the top five people in your cell phone calling plan.
(I’m just going to pretend I did not see my boyfriend’s icon in the comments above so that I can leave an uninhibited comment.
)
Holy fucking HELL, you have NEVER masturbated? I haven’t masturbated TODAY. yet.
When you reach your middle-ish 30s please check back in about your nymphomania status. Something happened to me at age 32.5 and … uh, I can’t shut it off (not that I’d want to).
I will admit I do like it rough but I know how to enjoy the gentle stuff too. I’m no expert at doing anything more than just sex (as in, role play or outfits or food/object/toy usage or dirty talk or asking for anything and everything I want or … uh, whatever else) but I’m pretty effing psyched to find out. It’s allllll good to me.
I’ll be busy spending family time with Break Boy, HLW, EZA, LLA, Shadow, Fiona, Ripley, Allie, and Georgie-girl so I will definitely miss the show tonight. Sorry. I’ll catch it in rerun. My stance: I like porn on occasion. I’m ok with a bit of objectification in a role playing way, but it’s a very slippery slope.
Well, I was 19 before I had sex, so there was quite a few teenage years that were boy free….so, um…yeah.
I will echo EVERYBODY here, and say “Really? Never??”
As far as sex…um, it’s kind-of whenever, wherever, as long as there isn’t an audience. A bit harder now that I have children, but I remember the pre-kid days…whoo boy. I believe there was the top of a water tower once. Nothing like sex 300 feet up. :)
But, as far as the “toys”, and stuff…I’m with you there. I don’t need any help to be able to hit the big O. I guess we must be lucky….
lol. this might be a bit off topic.
I forgot “freak” is supposed to be a put down.
Maybe its a geographical thing, but we call each other freaks here, all the time, and no one gets upset.
I mean, my sons first sentance was “mommy’s a freak” taught to him by my best friend!
Oh! But when your husband ISN’T being a complete douchebag, it’s fun to play sometimes….as long as he isn’t needing some freakin’ costume and acrobats every night of the week.
(i’ll get this out of the way…never masturbated? EVER?)
there’s NOTHING wrong with regular sex. nothing. i rather enjoy it too. but, i’ve been married for over 10 years. and my husband and i have sex ALMOST EVERY DAY. (yes. it’s true) so..we NEED to do something to break from the, i don’t want to use the term, ordinary. but…well, from the regular.
but i still use my butthole for pooping only thankyouverymuch
;)
Oh my gosh, I’m sorry…one more thing and I swear I will STFU.
I have VBS @ church tonight but hopefully will make it home in time to listen to the show. I gotta pray before I even get into porn - which, btw, does nothing for me, MOST of the time. It’s more like bad sitcom 95% of the time.
The best sex I ever had was with myself.
Ok, maybe not true. But there have been times when explaining what gets my fire started didn’t work as well as showing how to get my fire started. Hello? I’m not the chick in the porn flick, dude.
And, yes, I am a freak.
I’m going to have to say I’m with everyone else on the masturbation thing… it’s a blessed thing that masturbation… if you get the hang of it you can cure headaches, menstrual cramps, and bad moods all by yourself. Plus, it aids in weight loss. For example, if you get the urge to eat say… an entire cake out of sheer boredom you can just masturbate instead…
However, while I am probably in the “freak” category I also understand what you’re saying. Sometimes… plain old sex, on a bed, with a man (your husband if you prefer), really can be a good thing.
Well. It seems lots of people have lots to say.
I say, all hail! I TOTALLY know what ya mean (I think I do anyway)> Some might consider me a prude if I put it out there like you just did, but whatever it’s called… I like it. I like it ah-lot.
So I guess a case of batteries would be of no use??!!
Poppy for the win.
I completely agree with her about things changing in your early to mid 30’s. There are some days that I can masturbate twice and have no problem reaching erm…an orgasm. It never ever used to be that way and just changed over the last year or so. The sexual peak makes women do things they never thought they’d do before…or at least me. And Poppy.
My theory is, everyone needs one good friend - who has a similar sex life - to share details with and that’s it. No need to tell new acquaintances about The Slip that accidentally happened the other night or about That Thing He Does that just drives you nuts.
Of course, here I am saying how it should be and I’ve posted about receiving a vibrator from my husband Candy Ass for Mother’s Day one year. (But in my defense, I didn’t talk about using it. More like the fact that I didn’t. Swear.)
I’m sooo with you!! I could have written that myself. PRUDES UNITE!!!
I just re-read your June 18th post and am very confused. You don’t masturbate, but you have a box of replica penises for your kids to play with?
hey hilly…add me to the list that you and poppy are topping.
Not me, sorry. I’m a slut I guess but I fully accept your prudeness.
I’m all for lights out, in my own bed, with my husband sex. We have a couple of toys and have used them, but they really didn’t do much for me. And I’m almost to my mid-30’s. As long as you’re satisified, good for you and I hope it stays that way!!
Apparently I’m relatively prudish too. Who’d'a thunk? Not me.
Whatever works for you sugar(never???????really???)
And I believe that so many women do become more sexual as they move into their mid to late thirties and boy howdy does it keep going.
And to John–just because a woman is sexual and expresses a desire for sex does not make her a porn star.
One more thing–waking up to luscious morning sex with the one you love is one of the great pleasures in life.
And what poppy said ;-)
I am with you, Britt. I think all the sex talk is absurd. It’s only one part of life and not a very important one, in my opinion. (Way back in the stone age when I did have sex, mornings were much better. Everyone is rested. Try that sometime). (PS you really should reconcile this post with the one about your sex toys).
Um, darlin’? *Standing up, head bowed, hand in the air* I’m a prude, too.
OK. That felt better.
Been there, Done that: oh we’re going to play the AGE card now, are we?
I’m shaking my fists at you, woman!!!
Krystle: LOL not that there is anything wrong with it - but I want to be WITH someone when I want to be WITH someone. That’s the turn on for me.
TSM: I’ll take your word on that.
blondefabulous: ok, here’s the point I was trying to make:
EVERYONE THINKS IT’S AWESOME THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT!!
And I’m not taking anything away from that.
But I don’t want to be smirked at for NOT needing that either.
Does that make sense?
Queen of Shake Shake: hahahahahahaha - and didn’t you just have ShagHer ‘08? I don’t think that’s repression.
anne: yeah, I like the soft and squishy. And I like the mystery of the dark.
Stephanie: and your girlfriends. In vague, ambiguous terms.
Sleeping Mommy: woo hoo, freak!! And you’re right to a certain extent - I’ve been able to just.. um.. well.. “get” what I “needed” if I had to. It’s not as great as it sounds. This? Where it means something?
Much. Much. Better.
John: my husband is a fan of the light too. We compromise.
Finn: well, not in the closet - that seems cramped. But MAYBE behind closed doors.
Crys: damn straight - on all of it.
Kathryn: tee hee hee - UNITE!
A Whole Lot of Nothing: because it is COLD otherwise, damn!
Soapy Nethers: I know. I’ve heard.
Jenni: and it is still ‘magic’, yes? That’s mah point!
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children: hahahahahahahahhahaha
I’m rolling here. ROLLING!
I think that’s what it would be like for me too - especially if I did it because I thought I “should”.
Sybil Law: thank you - I am fine. We are ALLLLLL fine, ’twas what I was sayin’. Yo.
Sheila (Charm School Reject):
oops. How did that get in there?
Ugh. My heart actually goes out to you because that would SUCK.
Cris: dude, you are the craziest son of a bitch I know. LOL
Poppy: “I’m ok with a bit of objectification in a role playing way, but it’s a very slippery slope.”
Damn I wish you were going to be there.
adena: thank you. Yes. We ARE lucky. Not deprived. LUCKY.
(And no - I TOLD YOU I WAS THE ONLY ONE! lol)
bluepaintred: it wasn’t said here as a put down at all.
ali: damn girl - kudos to you guys!
Sheila: the irony of this whole comment is leaving me speechless.
Jennyjinx: and if that’s what you’ve gotta do - rock on.
I have very good communication skills.
Em: yes, yes it can. Thanks.
jennyonthespot: holy hell you SO GET WHAT I MEANT!!!
I like it ahlot TOO!!!
JG: ahem.
Hilly: well, I’ll have to take all you old bitches word for it. :-P
Undomestic Diva: yes, but that story was HILARIOUS.
Funny trumps decency. Every time.
di: WITH T-SHIRTS!
Jed: IT WASN’T A BOX!!!! IT’S A DRAWER!!!
Damn you people you and your skimming.
Ahem.
ANYway - anything I do have (and the one that was discussed? unused, for what it’s worth) is to be used WITH my husband. Not alone.
hello haha narf: is that the Old Broads list?
hehehehehehhehehehee
Robin: and I fully accept your sluttiness. Now we can live in harmony.
Becky: me too (although apparently YOU are nearing the sexual apocolypse or something on the age scale.)
kapgar: you want one of our shirts?
turnbaby: “just because a woman is sexual and expresses a desire for sex”
OK, see, that’s the part that gets my goat. Just because I don’t need all that extra shit, does NOT mean I’m not “sexual” or able to express a desire for it.
Heh. Just so we’re clear.
Nina: see comment above. And also - will take that into consideration this weekend. Thanks for the tip.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter: the mental image of this just made my whole damn day. And I *know* you like it!
Don’t worry. Masturbation is overrated.
I don’t think it’s a matter of being a prude. I think it’s a matter of taste and choice. Like vanilla and chocolate. I hate chocolate. Just hate it. Now vanilla? Damn, I dig me some vanilla. Anything vanilla. Know what I mean or do I sound like I’m being a total prude because I won’t actually talk about sex. OMG.
People assume I am WAY wilder than I actually am.
)However, it has suddenly occurred to me that this may be due to me writing about my ta-ta’s and posting photos of me making out with woman at BlogHer. Hmmm….)
So, I don’t get a freaky-jiggy but I do loves me a good toy, I do.
So I read Hilly and I read Poppy, and I can honestly say that I am not any more into myself or into him than I was a 22. I think it’s the working full time combined with the mom thing. Keeping the marriage and the family going doesn’t leave time for a whole lot of me/we fun time (even if you’re not into to “me”.)
I think there is just so much sex crap out there that it’s cheapen the long term intimate relationships, and we feel that we need to perform for our partners. It should be another form of affection.
I will say however that my improved flexiblity has been much cheaper and more fun than anything battery powered. Yoga is a good thing.
Whatever works for you. I have no sex life thanks to small children that still take over the bed, so that’s all I can contribute.
And porn should be viewed as comedy. Makes me laugh anytime I’ve seen it.
My comment was directed at this
“”John Says:
Wow! Revelation.
While I lean toward the depraved (at least by your standards Britt), I must say, I find it very refreshing when I discover another bit of evidence that not ALL American women aspire to be Jenna Jameson.”"
I was making a different point in regard to John’s comment.
I think women can be very sexual being very private etc. That does necessarily not make one a prude.
But talking about sex does necessarily not make me or anyone else a ‘porn star’–that was my point sugar;-)
I love the sex.
But it’s none of anyone else’s business.
I’m a prude and dern proud of it.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with your sex life or the life of others (long as it’s legal!)
I don’t consider you a prude for anything you wrote.
I also see nothing wrong with trying new ways to enhance things either. That’s not to say that anything would be wrong with you, or your relationship if you were to try anything “extra.” I’m sure you know that, though.
I’m an extremely open person. I have no qualms discussing sex in general or for myself/us. But there are some limitations to my “madness.” as well. Everyone has them.
Yours are just different from others and you should embrace your differences :)
Did I mention I’m still with my “first” everything? Yep. Including my first kiss
The older I get, the more a bed seems to make the most sense…. And you know, is usually more private…
So, I am totally with you.
Excellent post! And again, you made me laugh, which I really needed!
First of all, it’s very obvious you are NOT a prude.
Second,”whatever happened to sex being private?” Blogs!!
You are not alone!!! I have done the self-pleasure thing….but I don’t have ‘butt-sex’ and I don’t use toys and I don’t dress up and I don’t have sex in places where I could get arrested for public indecency. I never really considered myself a prude…buy hey, if the shoe fits, eh? At least we know there’s a league of us out there!
Apparently I’m in a major minority here. i completely agree with you, especially on the masturbation bit. I don’t mind the occasional romp out of the bedroom but I never understood people thinking it was okay to satisfy themselves. Isn’t the whole point of sex to reach that point WITH someone? I think it is selfish and gross. I always have. I don’t judge other people, to each his own and all that, but I would never try it. Oh, and some holes were meant to be EXIT ONLY!
Sooooo FASTER! HARDER! DEEPER! on the ceiling really was your roommates???
Nothin wrong with lights off, skin on skin, only in bed action but ummm…well sometimes they say, “the older the bolder.” Remember how late we were getting back from the lighthouse?? LOL
Whatever trips your trigger Honey :o)
We’re empty nesters as of 8/20/08 so who knows!! :o)
P.S. Dads blushing! LOL
Just kidding! JUST KIDDING!!!! LOL