I Refuse To Tolerate Gays

by Miss Britt on July 7, 2008

I’ve been thinking about this post for almost two weeks now, waiting to see if the anger would subside.

I don’t write well when I’m angry – or at least, I don’t always write clearly. And I was hoping that if the fury would calm itself, then maybe I would be able to say something constructive on the subject. Maybe I’d find a voice of reason that someone, somewhere would hear.

But alas, no. I still find myself shaking with rage and indignation every time I think about it.

It would be gays in the military.

It would be Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

It would be the legal discrimination that we allow to permeate throughout a democratic country under the banner of “tolerance” and “acceptance”.

It’s not that I never knew it existed. I’ve heard the term “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” floated around the various media outlets. I was aware that homosexuality wasn’t exactly celebrated in the United States military.

But I was completely naive about how far our country would go to uphold what I assumed was merely a tongue in cheek mandate meant to brush aside an issue we simply weren’t ready to talk about yet.

I assumed that the US government was taking the same stance on homosexuality that many Americans take. Which is, basically to say, it’s not that we hate gays OK? We just don’t want to have to watch men making out on the street because it kind of creeps us out. Do what you’re going to do, just don’t rub it in our face. Deal?

And Americans everywhere say… Deal. And we pat ourselves on the back for being so tolerant and accepting. Look at us! We love The Gays!

One June 25th I listened to a man who had experienced that Deal first hand. Howard was a guest on the Jestertunes Radio Show and he shared with the listeners his experience with the US Navy.

He expressed his appreciation for the Navy. He encouraged people to serve if they felt called to do so. And he did so even though the Navy had summarily kicked him out on his homosexual behind when they found out he was gay.

He was court marshaled – for being gay. His discharge papers noted his offense as “sodomy” – the official reason he was no longer fit to serve his country. And he’s not alone.

According to the Pentagon, over 1200 people were discharged from the military in 2001 under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule. In fact, the military kicked out an average of more than 1,000 people a year from 1997-2001 for the inexcusable offense of homosexuality.

Oh but wait! Those numbers are old! Since The War That Is Not Really A War began that number has dropped to less than 750 gays per year dismissed from the military.

Apparently being gay isn’t quite as big a deal if there’s a higher chance you’re going to get killed.

I was outraged when I first heard this. The more I read about it, the more outraged I become.

My first response was that this was wrong. And unfair. And that it just doesn’t make any sense to me that in the year 2008 it is still OK for American citizens to be penalized for being gay.

The first logical response I had was that this was legally hypocritical.

The United States Military is funded by tax dollars. It is, in essence, one of the largest employers in the country where we – as tax payers – sign the checks. How in the hell could they be allowed to enforce employment discrimination that would be grounds for serious legal action if it occurred in the private sector? How many times have I heard about discrimination being forbidden by the Equal Employment Opportunity Laws?

Shouldn’t our government be held to the same legal standard that we hold private businesses to?

Oh. Apparently they are.

Because in the United States – a country that prides itself on a history of Civil Wars and Civil Liberties and Civil Rights Acts – it is still very, very legal to discriminate.

Not if you’re black.

Or hispanic.

Or female.

Or disabled.

But if you’re homosexual?

Fair game.

As the federal laws stand right now, there is absolutely no protection for homosexuals against discrimination in the work place. Let’s not even touch the whole “right to be married” issue for a moment. I can at least entertain the argument for a nanosecond that marriage brings up issues of religion and defining what constitutes a marriage and blah blah blah.

But we’re talking about the right to earn a paycheck. We’re talking about American citizens being promised that if they do the work they receive the pay. We’re talking about the exact same rights that we have already decided decades ago were a given for every single one of us.

While I am fully aware that there is still talk of Boys Clubs and racism is still very prevalent and women across the country are still holding rallies demanding fair pay… they at least have the law on their side. Theirs is a battle that legislators would at the very least publicly validate.

But homosexuality? Homosexuality is, legally, a second class citizenship.

How in the hell is that possible?

And where have I been that I did not fully understand how disgustingly antiquated our laws were?

I’ll tell you where I’ve been. I’ve been hiding out under my Tolerance Rock. I’ve been hanging with the Live and Let Live crowd, believing that by being “tolerant” of gays that I was somehow doing them a favor.

Homosexuality is no longer something that this country can afford to “tolerate”.

You “tolerate” a petulant child who is making too much noise in the booth behind you at your favorite restaurant. To tolerate is to “put up with” or “endure”. To tolerate is to allow it to exist, although you might not approve. To tolerate is to permit, as if you have some sort of authority to do so.

It is no longer sufficient for us to merely tolerate gay Americans.

By doing so, we smile in their faces while condemning millions of tax paying citizens to an existence without basic civil liberties.

It is time for us, for me, to move beyond tolerance. Beyond grudging acceptance.

Because whether you choose to date/marry/fornicate with men or women – whether you understand homosexuality on a personal level or not – the fact remains that we are talking about people who have the exact same rights to the same protections under the laws as everyone else.

You cannot stand for Women’s Rights and not insist on the same considerations for gays.

You cannot stand for Racial Equality and not demand that sexual orientation be included in the Equal Employment Opportunity Laws.

Over the last two weeks I have asked myself many times – what can I do? Because this is simply too big to just shake my head at and hope that someone else will make it right. But, I’m not a general or a lawmaker or an opinion maker. I don’t write a national column that millions of people read. I’m not a lobbyist or a reporter or a pollster.

But I am a voter.

It’s no secret that I have supported Obama since before he was even the nominee. It should come as no surprise to anyone reading this that I am a registered Democrat.

But even still, I was ready to base my vote – possibly change my vote – on this issue if necessary. Because I believe that more than oil prices or foreign policies or wars or taxes or education or health care that this is what our country is about.

More than any other issue, this country is rooted and built upon the protection of inalienable rights. Our idealisms begin and end with the lofty concept of equality. If I was ever prepared to make a single issue vote, this would be the one to do it over.

After doing my own research, I have found that I will, in fact, be changing my vote.

I am not just voting for Obama.

I am also voting against John McCain.

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Posted in Serious Discussions - Politics, Religion, Society Tagged: , , , , , ,

80 Comments so far

  1. avitable July 6, 2008 9:45 pm

    OMG, best post ever.
    This is why I come to your blog.
    I love how you tell it like it is.
    You are such an awesome mom.
    You made me cry.
    How can you be Christian and think homosexuality is acceptable?
    We should be best friends!

    Okay, I think I took care of all the normal comments. Let’s see what else people have to say!

    Reply

  2. Aimee Greeblemonkey July 7, 2008 1:00 am

    Preach it, sister.

    Reply

  3. othurme July 7, 2008 1:09 am

    Damnit! Avitable took my three comments!

    Reply

  4. Jen July 7, 2008 1:11 am

    This is why I come…… oh crap.

    Reply

  5. RW July 7, 2008 1:11 am

    Adam missed the one that goes “I just spit Dr Pepper all over the technology.”

    Reply

  6. Dave2 July 7, 2008 1:12 am

    :clap:

    Reply

  7. RW July 7, 2008 1:12 am

    Oh yeah… and I hate slow drivers.

    Reply

  8. kim July 7, 2008 1:13 am

    You gave me goosebumps.

    Reply

  9. Colin Brooks July 7, 2008 1:18 am

    I really liked your post but I try to not talk about this issue. Especially when it comes to the US. It hurts a little. Especially when you combine it with the denial of being a blood donor because you’re gay. It really makes you feel like “they” believe you’re worth nothing.

    Reply

  10. Donna L. July 7, 2008 1:32 am

    http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewPolitics.asp?Page=/Politics/archive/200806/POL20080630a.html

    If Obama’s as hypocritical of his stance on gays as it appears he is on equal opportunity for women, you may not see any change in the status quo.

    Just sayin’

    Reply

  11. Dan July 7, 2008 2:57 am

    I was talking about something similar with our secretary at work. She said that she was not homophobic as she didn’t mind homosexuals as long as they “kept with their own kind”. She couldn’t understand why I found this statement amusing.

    Reply

  12. jester July 7, 2008 3:25 am

    Adam left out: “Gays are going to hell.” “We are a Christian Nation.” and “You’re a total whore.” (I never did understand how that last one seems to show up here so often. Whatever.)

    At any rate, Thank You Britt for getting that it’s not about religious beliefs, or the fight over Nature Vs Nurture.

    It’s really about the sanctioned discrimination of a minority.

    It’s really about an atmosphere of “separate but equal.”

    It’s really about doing the right thing according to our laws and principles that our nation was founded on.

    But I’m sure you will find most people will just want to talk about how disgusting they find two guys doing each other.

    Welcome to this little peek into my everyday reality.

    Reply

  13. hello haha narf July 7, 2008 6:48 am

    britt, i have never understood it either. perhaps because i grew up in a rather diverse city where my mom had several gay friends i simply learned early on that good people are good people, regardless of skin color or sexual preference or eye color. mom’s best friend was a gay woman who was terrified every day that she would be thrown out of the air force that she loved and made a career out of and i specifically remember being so confused as to why her boss would care what she did in her home.
    thanks for this post…i like when you get fired up.

    jester, are you kidding me? two guys doing each other is hawt!

    Reply

  14. Dawn July 7, 2008 7:58 am

    My father’s gay! (If you’re a true Seinfeld fan, you’ll understand that.)

    Seriously, though, one of my best friends is gay, and it hurts me when she’s looked at “differently” or with prejudice. I could go on and on about what’s fabulous about her, but I shouldn’t have to DEFEND her. She’s just terrific. Period.

    Reply

  15. leendaluu July 7, 2008 8:37 am

    You rock. Mc’Bush’ sucks.

    Reply

  16. NYCWD July 7, 2008 8:37 am

    Because in the United States – a country that prides itself on a history of Civil Wars and Civil Liberties and Civil Rights Acts – it is still very, very legal to discriminate.

    I just want to point out that I don’t think this country prides itself on the Civil War at all. I think most of the country would rather maintain the delusion that it was about equality and freedom instead of the economy and State Rights versus Federal Regulations which is what it truly was about. The scars of which can still be seen today in any number of states, including my own.

    I’ll keep my mouth shut on everything else lest I end up writing a post in your comments.

    Reply

  17. Little Miss Sunshine State July 7, 2008 8:44 am

    I want to know why someone ISN’T paying you to write a nationally syndicated column.

    Reply

  18. Poppy July 7, 2008 9:09 am

    Adam’s comment made me laugh. I see he’s taken to mocking you today.

    I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes trying to type an unbitchy comment and it’s just not happening.

    Let’s pretend I said something profound here that didn’t insult anyone and call it a day.

    Reply

  19. Howard July 7, 2008 9:29 am

    One correction, I was not court marshaled. Of the four groups that had control of that in my Navy career only one of the groups wanted that. My record was quite outstanding otherwise, plus I had support of so many on base that it was decided to slip me out quietly. However, the sodomy charge is still on my discharge papers. (Huh, I said sodomy and discharge in the same sentence).

    I’ll tell you what is intolerable is McCain’s record with women. He has received a zero from the League of Women Voters he entire career as a Senator and is PROUD of it. (I wish I could find that interview again, but it pissed me off so much.) And why any woman would vote for him is beyond me. I guess the same can be said of gay Republicans continue to support the same candidate.

    Hmmm, maybe I should finally get around to telling more Navy stories to get people involved.

    Reply

  20. Miss Britt July 7, 2008 9:43 am

    avitable: you’re such a shit.

    Aimee Greeblemonkey: now if only someone would listen…

    othurme: *snort*

    Jen: lol

    RW: damn, and I would have really been interested in your thoughts on this too.

    Dave2: thank you.

    kim: in a good way?

    Colin Brooks: and that’s not right. It’s just. not. right.

    Donna L.: that study is laughable. Honestly. There are so many variables not mentioned it’s hardly worth quoting.

    Dan: *sigh* I don’t think she’s alone in that sentiment either.

    jester: I HATE that this is your reality. Hate.

    And I think as long as we continue to think about it as YOUR reality, and not OURS – it will stay that way.

    The only way a “minority” has ever received powers and protections in this country is when those in the majority finally stood up and said “Enough”.

    hello haha narf: I’ve been shaking my head for a long time about it. But from a legal standpoint, I’m not content to just shake my head anymore.

    Dawn: no, you shouldn’t have to defend her – but you do. And you need to – until you don’t have to anymore.

    leendaluu: lol, thanks.

    NYCWD: Correct me if I’m wrong here, but wasn’t it decided that STATES did not have the right to LEGALIZE discrimination on a state by state basis? That the federal government was still responsible for ensuring that the basic rights afforded by the Constitution would be upheld in every state in the Union?

    And I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the rest of this. Long comment or not.

    Little Miss Sunshine State: well, the fact that I was completely ignorant on the details of the EEO laws up until very recently probably doesn’t help. ;-)

    Poppy: bitchy towards me? I’m OK with that. I’m interested to hear anyone’s thoughts.

    Howard: sorry about that – I should have relistened to the show to clarify. Thanks for pointing it out.

    I don’t think anyone does their own research. No one pays attention to the League of Women voters or interviews or laws anymore. We watch the commercials that cost millions of dollars to produce and decide based on that.

    It’s a fucking travesty.

    Reply

  21. student teacher July 7, 2008 9:49 am

    Nothing profound, just “Go Britt!”

    Reply

  22. jan July 7, 2008 9:57 am

    i live 6 months in england and 6 in florida and the difference in tolerence is bemusing.
    anyway,medically, the absolute fact is that, gay men’s brains are identical to straight women as are lesbian women’s wired the same as straight men. before birth, folks.this has been confirmed and wholeheartedly validated by scientists via t.v.and press media in the last month here in the u.k. so based on the warped thinking of some people, gays should be denied birth.whatever will anti-abortionists make of this??? good grief. thanks for this enlightening, albeit frightening and sad commentary .

    Reply

  23. Selma July 7, 2008 10:02 am

    Yeah it doesn’t make sense. You can’t serve your country if you’re gay but you can run the country if you’re an imbecile who can’t pronounce words like ‘nuclear.’ I don’t get it.

    Reply

  24. Kate July 7, 2008 10:16 am

    :clap:

    Reply

  25. Stephanie July 7, 2008 10:23 am

    Homefry, I live in ALA-FUCKING-BAMA. You should move here and help me talk to people–reasons like this are why I, too, am voting against John McCain. I don’t LOVE Obama, but he’s a hell of a lot better than the alternative.

    Reply

  26. NYCWD July 7, 2008 10:28 am

    You’re wrong. It was decided that a State did not have the power to nullify, or declare unconstitutional, a law from the Federal Government. A State therefore cannot legalize a law, such as in favor of discrimination, that went against a Federal law, because that would be considered in theory a form of nullification.

    The Federal Government is responsible for ensuring that the rights provided under the Bill of Rights are provided, not The US Constitution which did not truly address any of these matters but acted more as an outline as to how the government should work… and ironically the Bill of Rights does more to limit the Federal Government than anything.

    The 13th amendment which abolished slavery was ratified after the war which was when they finally had the 2/3 states required for ratification.

    Reply

  27. Lin July 7, 2008 10:37 am

    As a wife of a soldier living in a small, horrible little town in the South, let me tell you what I see. I see that gay men are discriminated against. However, lesbians are not. In this tiny post (the Army word for military base), I can think of no less than FIVE female couples who live openly as lesbian couples. Two of which are OFFICERS. However, a homosexual male is summarily discharged.

    I have mixed feelings on homosexuals. I won’t apologize for this; however, I will say that it shouldn’t be a matter of chosing which “brand” of homosexuality is tolerated (woman or men). To me, it’s all or nothing. Either you tolerate or you don’t.

    I hate double standards…unless, of course, they’re MY double standards..lol

    Reply

  28. Finn July 7, 2008 10:40 am

    I have signed petition after petition to get the word “gay” included in the Equal Protection clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution. It has been shot down time and again. All we can do is keep getting the word out there to more and more people that discrimminating against ANYONE flies in face of what this country is about.

    Fuck tolerance — how about excepting what is?

    Reply

  29. Sheila (Charm School Reject) July 7, 2008 10:50 am

    As a Republican ( :slaphead: ), a Christian – even worse, a BAPTIST, and the sister of two gay men, I feel like I’m in a political bind as to who to vote for. I would like my brothers’ best interests to be represented. Like you said, civil liberties are for every American and we need to stand up for it. BUT there are other issues that are just as important to me as well……welfare, health insurance, abortion and illegal immigration.

    I know that there will never be a candidate whose ideals and beliefs line up 100% with mine. I know that in today’s society (at least in the people I come across), my ideals and opinions are definitely not popular and won’t win me any friends….and I’m okay with that. But how do you choose between doing something that will allow your brothers to be who they are and every other issue that is important to you? It feels like they are asking me to choose which child I should sacrifice.

    I love reading your political posts because they are thought provoking but I can honestly say that this is the one that is really making me second guess myself.

    I know you love Obama but being from the state he is supposed to be representing and knowing that he hasn’t done for Illinois what he said he would do, I don’t think I could vote for him. I’d rather NOT vote than vote for him, I think. (Though the thought of not voting makes me sick to my stomach.)

    Reply

  30. Dingo July 7, 2008 10:56 am

    The whole “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and “it’s okay if they’re gay as long as we don’t have to see it,” mentality has pissed me off for a long, long time. I am so glad you wrote this post because when I think about the legalized discrimination, it makes me so mad I’m incoherent.

    Reply

  31. Mrs. Schmitty July 7, 2008 11:04 am

    :o hgreatone:

    Reply

  32. TheMama July 7, 2008 11:04 am

    Hell YES!

    :clap:

    Reply

  33. Finn July 7, 2008 11:10 am

    Hi! Subscribing… I forgets sometimes. :peace:

    Reply

  34. Robina July 7, 2008 11:42 am

    All I can say is WOW!!!!! This is an excellent post. I couldn’t agree more, and I could never have said it this good.

    Reply

  35. Shelli July 7, 2008 11:57 am

    I hate it when people say that gays have a choice. I use that line and similar ones to tell them how ignorant they are. Loudly. On a soap box. Sometimes some people are big fucking idiots.

    Reply

  36. Shelli July 7, 2008 11:58 am

    That was not me patting myself on the back. I hope that no one thought that.

    I’m voting for Obama, too. For this and many other reasons.

    Reply

  37. J.O. July 7, 2008 12:25 pm

    There are times that I physically hurt for the “plight” of my nephew. He actually had a room mate who just loved him until one night they started drinking and it came out that he was gay. The room mate promptly kicked him out of the apartment.
    By the way, I read the title for this post three times and only after I got part way through the post did I realize the title said Gays not Guys!

    Reply

  38. Sybil Law July 7, 2008 12:32 pm

    OMG
    I had a good response and apparently forgot to hit submit.
    Dammit!
    Anyway, great, great post. Agreed.
    :cheese:

    Reply

  39. RW July 7, 2008 12:50 pm

    I have trouble being tolerant of people who are intolerant to people who are intolerant.

    Reply

  40. B.E. Earl July 7, 2008 1:12 pm

    Gay people ARE different.

    They dress better. ;)

    Reply

  41. B.E. Earl July 7, 2008 1:38 pm

    And they do have a choice. We all do.

    Paper or plastic. ;)

    Reply

  42. maman July 7, 2008 1:41 pm

    I have thought for a while that the problems that the military and government has with homosexuality is that if examined too closely makes men look their sexual aggression.

    They FEAR that aggression from other men, but think NOTHING of it when it is directed towards women.

    Reply

  43. Jay July 7, 2008 2:11 pm

    I want to quickly post this link for Lin who said that lesbians aren’t being discriminated against in the military, but gay men are.

    http://tiny.cc/p7mBE

    If you don’t get redirected click in the link. Basically it’s a study that says that lesbians are being targeted more under the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy than men.

    Anyway, Obama may not be perfect on the issue of gay rights, but he is 1,000% ahead of McCain.

    My brother in law is always saying “gays have all the same rights as everybody else” but that isn’t completely true. A company can legally discriminate against gays. It’s crazy. And of course in 46 states they don’t have the right to marry or enter into civil unions and don’t get all the legal benefits that comes with marriage or civil unions that straight people get. And, in many states they are pushing hard to pass state laws that prevent gays from adopting. Hell, here in Arkansas they’ve gone all out and not only are they trying to stop gays from adopting they are trying to stop single people and unmarried straight couples as well as gays from adopting.

    I’ve just never understood all the hate directed towards gays.

    Reply

  44. AmyD July 7, 2008 2:54 pm

    I agree 100% but, unfortunately, I think that there are people out there who can only muster up tolerance. And, if we could get 100% of the population who see gays as “lesser than” to practice more tolerance (as in, you don’t like gay marriage? Don’t get one.) the world would be a better place. If there was more tolerance (because, let’s face it, we are not going to live in a world where right-wing Christians are going to accept homosexuality) we wouldn’t have this issue.

    It’s just sad to see that our government who should be leading the way and exemplifying it, isn’t capable and worse yet, is smart enough to know to attempt to keep it quiet, which disgusts me beyond belief.

    Maybe we should all remember that once upon a time it was illegal for a black man / black woman to date or marry a white woman / man.

    Reply

  45. Jennyjinx July 7, 2008 3:04 pm

    I have long believed that issues such as DADT and gay marriage are Equal Rights issues. GLBT are second-class citizens in this country. When Bill Clinton instituted DADT he was trying to find a compromise with the Religious Right that was slowly beginning it ascent to power. Prior to that, if a serviceman or woman were thought to be homosexual, they were dishonorably discharged- point blank.

    The Federal Government is responsible for ensuring that the rights provided under the Bill of Rights are provided, not The US Constitution which did not truly address any of these matters

    The BoR is part of the Constitution. The first 10 amendments. The Supreme Court is responsible for interpreting the laws that may or may not fall outside of Constitutional liberties.

    that STATES did not have the right to LEGALIZE discrimination on a state by state basis

    WRT gay rights (marriage rights) the states do indeed have the right to discriminate. In 2004 Ohioans elected to amend our state constitution to define marriage as “between one man and one woman” (I didn’t vote that way, of course) as WELL as end domestic partner rights that had previously benefited both straight and gay unmarried couples who were living together. That goes against the Federal law limiting discrimination based on familial make up.

    Also, those GLBT couples married in California will now be considered legally “married” in CA, but no other state is required to recognize that marriage. The Feds left if up to the state legislatures to determine if they would afford gay married couples the same type of recognition that they give married heteros when they travel out-of-state. Legalized discrimination.

    I’m sorry my comment was so long. I am very passionate about Equal Rights and eliminating all “separate-but-equal” crap used for anyone. And, you’re right, as a woman I feel it’s important that I use what power I have to make sure my fellow human beings aren’t treated like dogshit on the bottom of someone’s shoe. There I go again. Sorry. This is a great post.

    Reply

  46. Miss Britt July 7, 2008 3:30 pm

    student teacher: that’s always profound.

    jan: yeah, Americans are definitely behind the curve on this one.

    Selma: *snort* well said.

    Kate: I need a thank you smiley to use in response to the clap one.

    Stephanie: Homefry. hehehehehhehehhehehehehhehe

    NYCWD: um – OK. So now that we’ve picked up apart that sentence…

    your thoughts on the point of the post?

    Lin: all or nothing – that’s what I mean.

    You either stand for discrimination – against gays.. and jews… or blacks… women… or disabled people…

    Or you don’t.

    On principle, you can pick and choose. No matter what your stomach does when you think about gay porn.

    Finn: AMEN!

    Sheila: I understand what you’re saying. I do. And that’s why I had to sit down for myself and figure out what mattered most.

    For me, my core value has to be about doing more than securing my own safety and welfare. It has to be about doing the fundamentally right thing. Equality is a big issue for me. Probably the biggest.

    It helps that I don’t agree with Republicans on much of anything else. Except for maybe Abortion.

    Dingo: well now I don’t feel so stupid for walking aroud a blubbering pissed off fool for two weeks!

    Mrs. Schmitty: :D Heh.

    TheMama: I’m glad you agree. ;-)

    Robina: thank you. I’d really, really like to hope that it made at least ONE person think. Or there is no point.

    Shelli: mah Obama sister! w00t!

    J.O.: ouch. I can’t even imagine.

    Sybil Law: good response!

    RW: liar. I read your issue posts.

    B.E. Earl: :-P

    maman: hmm – I’m not really sure what to think about that.

    Jay: thank you for the extra info! You rock.

    AmyD:

    “Maybe we should all remember that once upon a time it was illegal for a black man / black woman to date or marry a white woman / man.”

    That’s what I keep telling myself.

    Jennyjinxed: this was a GREAT comment. Thank you. I’ve wondered how that would work with the CA marriages outside of the state.

    Reply

  47. Sheila (Charm School Reject) July 7, 2008 3:34 pm

    “If there was more tolerance (because, let’s face it, we are not going to live in a world where right-wing Christians are going to accept homosexuality) we wouldn’t have this issue.”

    ::cough:: I’m a right wing Christian who not only “tolerates” the gay community, I embrace and LOVE them. ::cough::

    Reply

  48. ajooja July 7, 2008 3:38 pm

    Great post, Britt.

    I’m really surprised there have only been a couple of people who disagreed with you. Your readers are awesome.

    Still trying to figure out how someone’s civil rights are less important than whoring people who need welfare, health insurance, or an abortion.

    Reply

  49. Special K July 7, 2008 4:01 pm

    My biggest beef with the military et al is that they “think” because they are gay that they want every single man in the world (or woman if lesbian)and it would cause “problems”. I want to ask them, as a man do you want to boff every female you see? As a woman do you see a penis and automatically WANT it because you are a HETERO? Does it make you a pervert? Or a child molester? HELL NO and not for them either. I wish people would WAKE THE EFF UP and see Gays and Lesbians for what they really are, human beings like anyone else and not the stereotypical bible belt garbage that had been brainwashed into their minds. :banghead:

    Reply

  50. manager mom July 7, 2008 4:01 pm

    I am with you. I am voting against the continued radicalization of the Supreme Court…

    Reply

  51. Special K July 7, 2008 4:06 pm

    Can I do one more?
    One night I simply said this to one of the biggest right wing rednecks who swears gays make it a CHOICE and here is how it went.

    All I said was:

    You were born hetero, you love women correct?
    (him)–Yep.

    So you are telling me there is nothing that could change your mind, nothing that could make you for the other team, not how your Daddy treated you, now how your Mama bought you dolls, nothing? There is no way no one could make you decide to love men instead of women?

    (him)-Nope.

    And in saying that, do you also believe that if you were told tomorrow, you had to be with men, could not love another woman ever that you could do that?

    (him) HELL no. I am who I am!!

    Then how the hell do you NOT believe that gay people are just born that way and that is who they are?

    I am serious when I say he, who always has SOMETHING to say, was silent.

    I frickin’ loved it.

    Reply

  52. Sheila (Charm School Reject) July 7, 2008 4:42 pm

    “Still trying to figure out how someone’s civil rights are less important than whoring people who need welfare, health insurance, or an abortion.”

    I didn’t say that they were less important. I said that all of those things were equally as important to me…and not people who NEED them, but people who CHOOSE them. I don’t disagree with Britt on this topic at all. I’m in 100% with her. BUT…

    FYI : Coming up is probably the most non-PC opinion you will ever read.

    To clarify my previous comment, I am between a rock and a hard place with the upcoming election. How do I choose between my brothers’ rights to love who they are born to love and my deep searing hatred for people who abuse the welfare system, kill babies as their preferred method of birth control and a bunch of people who mistake North America on a map for North Mexico?

    If I vote for something that will promote the cause of the GLBT community, I will be voting against everything else that I believe in. If I vote for everything else that I believe in, I will be voting against my very best friend.

    Reply

  53. NYCWD July 7, 2008 6:05 pm

    @Miss Britt- It is a passion filled and well written post, as always, but… I think you don’t recognize that you are in fact a general and an opinionmaker… to your children.

    It has taken blacks, hispanics, and females generations to get where they are today… and that has required amendments overtime to the laws our nation was founded upon based on the change in the mindset of its people through education and upbringing. It has also taken some strong leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., Cesar Chavez, and Susan B. Anthony to unite those oppressed and discriminated against to help revolutionize thinking. It is a painful process… but no pain, no gain.

    Unfortunately, I do not see Obama as that leader. He has “refined” enough policies already that leads me to believe that he will not be the leader of change he once promised to be… and unfortunately this post basically turned into an Obama commercial at the end.

    Once again though… unfortunately… the lesser of two evils…

    @JennyJinx- It is quite rude to quote out of context, but feel free to enlighten me as to which part of the Constitution adopted in 1787, part of the Bill of Rights amended to the Constitution in 1791, or any Amendment of the Constitution thereafter that outlaws discrimination based upon a person’s “sexual orientation”.

    Right, there isn’t one. Therefore what Ohio did, while not necessarily morally right (depending on who’s morals your following), is not illegal. They purposely narrowed the definition of the term “marriage”, and eliminated “common law” arrangements irregardless of sexual orientation. I see no “separate but equal” status there… I see religious elitism at its finest… and that is a whole other subject… although very closely related.

    Reply

  54. NYCWD July 7, 2008 6:05 pm

    See… this is why I wanted to keep my mouth shut! Sorry for the novel… :rolleyes:

    Reply

  55. Jennifer A July 7, 2008 7:17 pm

    Discrimintion against gays is unfortunatly more blatent. Discrimination still happens to blacks, hispanics, women and the disabled, its just not as obvious anymore. And it all sucks.
    Well written post, but I’m still not voting for Obama and I wasn’t voting for McCain.

    Reply

  56. Bec July 7, 2008 8:23 pm

    Someone should forward this to Obama’s team… this’ll get him votes. Just kinda wondering where the crazy many many comments Christian lady who’s name I can’t remember is…

    Reply

  57. jester July 7, 2008 8:32 pm

    Dawg said: “It has also taken some strong leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., Cesar Chavez, and Susan B. Anthony to unite those oppressed and discriminated against to help revolutionize thinking.”

    I’d like to point out that none of those leaders were president. Presidents don’t revolutionize anything… presidents merely foster an atmosphere for revolution. And THAT I believe is something Obama can do.

    He has already.

    Reply

  58. Ms. Karen July 7, 2008 9:04 pm

    Just this weekend I told two friends that if I had three wishes they would be for all humankind to have three things: tolerance, wisdom, and compassion.

    But it had to be all three because tolerance all alone is anarchy. You do what you want, I’ll do what I want, and no one can stop us.

    Wisdom is good, but wisdom alone can be cruel.

    Compassion is beautiful, but compassion alone can lead to entropy. Too overcome and sad to do anything.

    Three wonderful attributes that cannot stand alone. Combine them and things might fall into place.

    Or I could be full of shit, I don’t know.

    Reply

  59. NYCWD July 7, 2008 9:16 pm

    @Jester

    I have to disagree with you on the ability of the Office of the President of the United States to foster revolution.

    Martin Luther King saw Dwight D. Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, and Lyndon B. Johnson sitting in the oval office during his activism. With the exception of JFK, neither Eisenhower or Johnson could be viewed as fostering revolution.

    Cesar Chavez saw Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, and Jimmy Carter in the oval office during his activism. Ford may be the only one who escaped that period unscathed… but he never wanted to be President in the first place.

    Susan B Anthony saw Ulysses S. Grant, Rutherford B. Hayes, James A. Garfield, Chester A. Arthur, Grover Cleveland (twice), Benjamin Harrison, and William McKinley in the oval office during her activism. Sadly… she died 15 years prior to the ratification of the 19th Ammendment in 1919 that gave women the right to vote… 50 years… it took 50 years for that basic right.

    The President does not foster an atmosphere of revolution… it is the youth of today making dreams come true tomorrow. Thus the power of revolution belongs to the people.

    What I think Obama does do is help to realize a dream of Martin Luther King Jr… 50 years after his death.

    Proof the through perseverance, anything is possible.

    Reply

  60. Sarah July 7, 2008 9:26 pm

    I had no idea that they didn’t have the same rights as everyone else in the work area. I knew vaguely about the don’t ask don’t tell policy.

    But that just pisses me right the hell off. I was already voting for Obama, but now there is NO question as to who I am voting for.

    Reply

  61. little_lj July 7, 2008 11:26 pm

    I’m British so I can’t vote. I wish I could! Also, under the terms of my visa I’m not allowed to campaign. Again, wish I could!

    But hell, I’ll tell anyone who’ll listen *cough*OBAMA!!*cough* :D

    For this and many many reasons…

    Brilliant post, and well said.

    Reply

  62. Sheila July 7, 2008 11:31 pm

    Wow.

    I didn’t realize that being unsure as to which platform to vote on and being willing to discuss said questions in an open forum made me crazy.

    Remember those civil liberties everyone was talking about? Hmph. I have those too.

    PS : If you knew the behind the scenes discussion, maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Thanks all the same though for being so tolerant. It’s much appreciated.

    Reply

  63. Karl July 8, 2008 12:29 am

    Hard to disagree with anything you wrote here, Britt, as is usually the case. This is one issue that really hits me in the gut because Democrats are much more in line with gay rights than Republicans. Not that I’m a *declared* Republican but that’s usually how I vote.

    I have to agree with someone else, though. There are so many other issues that are deciding factors for me, as well. Not that I’m a one-issue guy, but abortion ranks up there pretty strongly for me.

    Bah, I have no bloody idea what the fuck I’m going to do come November. But in all likelihood, I will be voting for McCain. I don’t say that to piss you off, or to encourage you to keep on trying to change my mind. It’s just where I’m at at the moment.

    Reply

  64. Rachel July 8, 2008 6:32 am

    Who someone loves is nobody elses DAMN business. At the end of the day we’re all human.

    Reply

  65. Miss Britt July 8, 2008 7:19 am

    Sheila: and I think you’re awesome. You use your brain too – which is really cool.

    ajooja: you know, I will admit that for ME – civil rights is the clear winner if I have to choose. But I know that is based on my own priorities, etc. I can understand how hard it would be trying to choose between a lot of things that really, really mattered to you.

    Special K: yeah, I’ve never understood that particular element of homophobia.

    manager mom: I feel ya.

    Special K: my friend AmyD explains it that way too. :lol:

    Sheila: I honestly think it is amazing that you have put as much thought into this as I know you have.

    NYCWD: yeah, it wasn’t really my plan to have it end up being about the election. But it was the best concrete example I could find for what I could do.

    I’m looking for more.

    Jennifer A: uhhh – write in?

    Bec: yeah I don’t know – must be on vacation today! LOL

    jester: I tend to agree with you on that.

    Ms. Karen: really? no lottery?? ;-)

    NYCWD: you are crabby. :nana: No wait – cynical. That was the word – yes?

    Sarah: well I don’t feel so dumb now – I’m glad someone else learned something new too!

    little_lj: oooh – you guys have your own ball of wax going on, don’t you?

    Sheila: you are definitely not crazy. I wish more people would take the time to do what you’ve been doing.

    Karl: it’s a matter of priorities. I get that.

    I can’t pretend to fully understand how THIS isn’t a higher priority… but I am trying to accept it. :-)

    Rachel: amen!

    Reply

  66. kim July 8, 2008 9:00 am

    Forgot to subscribe to comments. Yes, goosebumps in a good way.

    I lived in Colorado when the anti-gay amendment 2 passed.. it still feels like a horrible nightmare.

    I also believe that any legislation addressing this issue should include gender identity as well.

    I had/ have so much to say on this particular topic that I figured that I would just stay out of it, and let you know that it affected me. I tend to be on the far left when it comes to this issue….didn’t want to write a full post in your comments and piss some of your readers off.

    Reply

  67. Natalie July 8, 2008 11:34 am

    You have convinced me to come out of lurkdom.

    I agree wholeheartedly.

    If you really want to get your blood boiling, go join in on some of the conversations on newsvine. Omgosh, there are some real buttheads out there. It makes me sick to see the kinds of reasons they come up with that makes discrimination OK in their eyes.

    To be fair, most Americans are not like that, but the squeeky wheels get the grease and unfortunately, help to make a lot of policies.

    Reply

  68. TALLYHO_2022 July 8, 2008 1:55 pm

    Sodomy is currently illegal in ten states and in four more if its just same sex. It is also clearly stated in the rule books for the armed forces.
    If one day there was a huge war and they needed to draft people into the armed forces, would you be able to get in if you told them that you practice sodomy? No. Why? Because it is clearly stated that it is not allowed.
    Does this mean that I am against gays? No, I think that two men or two women can love each other and be together in a relationship without having anal sex.
    And on another note, I wish that womens rights people would just stfu! These days most families are forced to have two parents working just to make ends meet. If women didn’t take the mens jobs and need more pay then the men could do what they are supposed to do and take care of their families financially and the women can take care of the kids.
    Go ahead call me crazy…

    Reply

  69. Coal Miner's Granddaughter July 8, 2008 3:09 pm

    :rock:

    Awesome post, hon. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Reply

  70. Philosopher Jeff July 8, 2008 7:59 pm

    Back in my childhood home we had two male neighbors that were gay. The rest of my working class neighborhood was full of families with heterosexual parents. Many of the heterosexual parents were alcoholics, drug addicts, or wife beaters (my own were alcoholics).

    The gay couple was the most pleasant and had the most functional relationship in the neighborhood. They were kind to all the children in the neighborhood and lived peacefully surrounded by horrible neighbors. So I do believe that gays are a threat to heterosexual marriage because they are better role models.

    Reply

  71. Musing July 8, 2008 9:30 pm

    :kiss:

    Reply

  72. Cassandra Rae July 8, 2008 10:47 pm

    You go, Girl! Thank you for getting angry and writing about it. America needs to hear this message.

    Reply

  73. Sarah July 8, 2008 10:49 pm

    Well I am a natural blond, you can always just assume I don’t know anything. In plenty of cases you’d be right.

    Reply

  74. J... July 9, 2008 1:04 pm

    I applaud your post, Britt. Fabulous take on something I have never been able to put into words. Thank you for not tolerating other human beings. People are people and everyone should have equal rights and civil liberties.

    :peace:

    Reply

  75. Queenie July 9, 2008 2:26 pm

    Britt – I love you. Marry me. Oh wait…ummm ok maybe not. Just know that if I didn’t have a husband and you didn’t have a husband, I would totally be into you that way. Heh.

    Reply

  76. Stephanie July 11, 2008 8:20 pm

    Thank you….I applaud your indignation….

    As one of the new ones to your website, I am reading my way throught.

    As one of the “tolerated” and “accepted”, with a partner that is former military….I have heard the horror stories of first hand experience of “Don’t ask, Don’t Tell.”

    Your words, hit home. Thank you!

    I fully expect to enjoy this ride, your blog that is…..if you ever get a free moment (I too am a mommy! I know how few they are) check mine out!

    Reply

  77. Dustin July 13, 2008 10:08 pm

    New to your blog, just wanted to thank you for this post. I actually am not a big Obama fan, I was for Hillary. However I’ve come to realize we just can’t have Bush #2 in office. The supreme court alone is my main issue in this election at this point. I actually used to respect McCain, until he flip-flopped on every issue he once held dear it seemed.

    I think a lot of people still don’t realize how bad the discrimination laws are, and not just with the military. It’s still very legal to fire people just for being gay in many states, and if the many of religious right have their way they’ll have laws overturned in states where it’s not legal.

    Of course what irks me most is that they’ll scream, rant and rave that they should be allowed to fire gays; because it goes against their religious belief. However you know damn well they’d go ape shit if their boss or higher up was a gay, Jew, Muslim or atheist and fired them on the same “your beliefs are against my religion” reasoning.

    Reply

  78. celebrate woo-woo July 15, 2008 2:45 pm

    I just realized, after linking to this post on a post of my own about this issue yesterday, that I never got to comment or read the comments when I originally read the post…because your blog was considered “sexual” by my company’s internet filter;>

    Anyway, I am a fairly new reader, maybe a couple weeks now, but this post got me on board with becoming a regular reader. Great job on adding your voice to this.

    Reply

  79. martymankins July 15, 2008 4:12 pm

    So how do you top that last post about Devin and his dad’s birthday? You top it with a spot on post on gay rights and why the fucking religious loons need to STFU and let civil rights be extended in all areas to the GLBT citizens of this country.

    Registered Democrat and Obama supporter.

    Reply

  80. Katie July 16, 2008 2:33 pm

    Hi,

    My Google reader just told me that I would like your blog and well, I do! Good thing reader is so smart.
    But that’s not why I am commenting. I am commenting because I wanted to say thank you for writing this. Thank you for accepting and not “tolerating”. Thank you.

    My mother and her partner of 18 years cannot get married and share in the benefits of legally declaring your partner under the law. It’s Wrong and it needs to stop.
    People are people and love is love.

    thanks,
    Katie

    Reply

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