As you know, I am something of a domestic goddess. I expect Martha Stewart herself to show up any day now… to permanently revoke my Woman Card.
Part of my role as Domestic Goddess is to come up with new and exciting things my family can eat. I have found that the best way to do this is to pick up random items in the grocery store that I know nothing about and plan entire meals around them.
Of course, I don’t know anything about Eggplant. Except that it’s purple. And Southern. (Did you know that Eggplant is Southern? Because it is.) Thankfully, I am a Domestic Goddess and so I am not afraid of Eggplant or my inexperience with it.
Google assured me that Eggplant could be delicious.
First you peel the Eggplant.
After you have peeled the Eggplant, it is time to slice the Eggplant.
Is it fungi? Is it mold?? Is THE MANGE??
Google did not mention anything about a seed infestation. I would like to go on record right now as saying Google is a dirty whore and cannot be trusted. And you can tell them I said that.
Moving on.
And then you realize that does not leave you with much to feed a family of four. Shit.
This would be a good point to stop and taste test. And when you find that it tastes like a cold potato sprinkled with Parmesan cheese, you should take this opportunity to pull out The Big Guns.
And that’s it! Easy as Pie!
Congratulations. You have now officially made cold eggplant and tomatoes sprinkled with Parmesan Cheese and drenched in Italian Dressing!
On what I can assure you is a totally different note, I am officially one of the newest contributors for an online magazine called Blissfully Domestic. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Check out my first article to find out how I conned my way into that gig.
Psst... thanks for stopping by! I hope I didn't traumatize you too badly on your first visit. Remember to subscribe to my RSS feed if you want updates from the site!
Posted in Photo Essays Tagged: cooking, eggplant, Photo Essays, photoshop, recipes
Oh my God.
You’ve managed to take an ingredient that is already foul and horrible and make it worse.
That takes skill.
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And now I’m subscribed.
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File that under “More shit the kids won’t eat”
I think the next one should be OKRA. My husband still has the willies from his Mom cooking that stuff 45 years ago!
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WTF? The reason google didn’t mention the seeds? You eat them … like cucumber seeds. OMG — you make me laugh!! Do you hollow out cucumbers too? If so, please photograph and post … I want to see!
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Eggplant is not Southern.
It’s Italian.
As the pizzeria guys.
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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British fact of the day: We call it AUBERGINE.
I have no idea why.
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Eggplant is one of the few foods in the entire universe that I have no desire to try. Maybe oakra too. You have confirmed all my fears. Blech.
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I have no desire to try eggplant.
Even more so now.
Thank you.
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Cool, we have the same Dell lap top computer.
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Youe eggplant was old and over ripe.
Eggplant should be a deep purple, with a shiny, unblemished skin, and the stem and subsequent leaves shoudl still be green and not brown. That was why you found so many seeds in it when you went to chop it up. It was about to go to seed.(ie. shrivil up and die) Someone sold you crappy veggies, go kick their ass for it!
Sorry bout that…… the chef in me resurfaced for a moment.
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I’ve never had eggplant. My parents hate it so there was really no reason for me to try it because we never had any in the house.
Although I did not know they weren’t purple inside. I was quite surprised to learn that.
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Eggplant can go to Hell as far as I’m concerned.
And it can take mushroom with it!
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Hahaha…I thought egglplants were like plantains…where you are actually supposed to cook them before you eat them???
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so freaking hilarious. you could do an entire cookbook in this style. Love it.
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Thanks Blondefabulous, I was just about to say I’ve never seen an eggplant look like that
Ours are much darker and shinier and glossier. I’ve also never eaten one raw…
Britt, I really think you should take up photoblogging people’s weddings: I think they’d pay a fortune for your unique commentary and excellent photoshopping skillz! :clap:
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for some weird reason, my husband planted eggplant in our vegetable garden. i had NO idea what to do with it.
and after reading this post … i still don’t.
thank you so much!!
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:lmao: You’re the best. The seeds are edible. How was it? I’ve never eaten raw eggplant, so I’m curious.
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Actually, it looks pretty good to me! Maybe better with a fresh eggplant? And OKRA ROCKS! I grew up in FL and you should get aquainted with the great foods of the south. Find yourself a true southerner and get some recipes. That said, I like your style and will visit often, feel free to drop by.
Take care,
FMD
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I just slice it, bread it and bake it…then cover it in sacuce and cheese - eggplant parm…
ok - I seem to be in the minority when I say - I love eggplant. it’s yummy.
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You have to get some Greek and Italian recipes then you will fall in love with eggplant. Eggplant Parmigiana? Buonissima!
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I slice it - throw it in a zip lock baggie with italian dressing overnight then throw it on the grill. Super yummy!
Yours looks pretty good too. I love eggplant.
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I’m with the eggplant lovers-although I’ve never ever heard of anyone eating it raw.
I usually just peel it then slice and grill, or do the eggplant parm. Another way is to chunk it, then cook it more in a stew or curry with other veggies.
Your commentary was too funny. . .
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I never tried eggplant - and now, I’m pretty sure I never will.
Loved your article in the online mag.
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You tossed out the eggplant seeds?
HAHA!
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Yea, I’ve never heard of raw eggplant but Ya, know? Different strokes for different folks….
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You should totally have your own cooking show. Or magazine. Or blog. That stuff was great!
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i am all about eggplant parm or grilled eggplant, but are telling me that you seriously tried to eat it raw? i thought all that crap you threw in the bowl was gonna be baked or made into kabobs for the grill! woman, you never cease to crack me the fuck up.
happy friday!
now go get that child a pizza!!!
p.s. last night i AGAIN drank from our nyc martini brittini glass. mmmmm, tasty!
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?You didn’t cook it? FWIW, the little baby eggplants and the italian and japanese kinds are much more edible than the gian purple tumor of death. Bigger is not better in the eggplant world.
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I’m with the boy. No eggplant here.
But the photography was quite nice. I especially like the part with the seed infestation.
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Just a thought here Britt…perhaps only clicking the first link on Google might have informed you about the seeds….I would have Wikipedia’s it too, for good measure!
Good luck with your Domestic Goddess-ness! LOL
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is the taste of eggplant really that bland? for some reason i’ve envisioned it as bitter — maybe because i had some really hideous babaganoush once. is that how you spell babaganoush?
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Aubergine’s (Eggplants) are delicious, just not raw! You don’t even have to peel them, so stir-fry them with onions, bell peppers & courgettes (Zucchini) with lots of olive oil & cummin. You could also try making ratatouille or roasting them in the oven - yum!
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is eggplant even IN babaganoush? am i right at this moment detaching from reality? rad
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i thought it was better to remove the skin, losh, because it can be kind of tough?
see how much eggplant information/conjecture comes from someone who perhaps never even ate it?
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I’ve never had raw eggplant before …
I’ll stick with curry.
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So, I guess eggplant is out of the running as your new comfort food?
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My mom used to peel it, slice it, bread it with cracker crumbs, and fry it. Not bad, but not something I choose to eat as an adult. I agree with the person that said your eggplant wasn’t quite right - cause usually it looks like a cucumber inside.
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You whack it in half, throw some herbs and parm on it and stick it under the broiler. Yummy!
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And yeah, that eggplant didn’t look good at all. You have to flirt with the produce guy at Publix and let him pick it out for you…
OK, done. Subscribing now.
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Bredded and baked WILL turn it into your comfort food. It is yummy. I like the sound of bubblewench’s idea. That sounds great also. Might even throw in B.E. Earl’s mushrooms for and even better taste. God am I starved now…
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Next time slice it thick and sprinkle some olive oil and salt and pepper and throw it on the grill. It’s fantastic.
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That must’ve been crazy bitter! In fact, before COOKING it (yeah, you have to COOK it), you should slice it, lay the slices on paper towels, and sprinkle some salt on the slices to “sweat out the bitterness.”
This must sound like I actually cook. Which I don’t. But I know a bit about eggplant.
By the way, if you cook it well, you don’t even have to peel it first. I never do. Just make sure that you cook it long enough that the rind is no longer tough (i.e. that you can cut through it). The rind itself is edible. I eat the whole damn thing — except the part on top, obviously — when it’s, ahem, cooked.
Give it another shot. Either do eggplant parm, or chop it up (like you did… but NOT excluding the seeds part …the part that has seeds is the bulk of it, and edible!) and throw it in with other veggies to stir fry.
Again, it sounds like I actually cook. I swear I don’t.
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Well, in fairness, you were on the right track with all the parmesan cheese. :cheese:
Every time I’ve tried to do anything with (cooked) eggplant, it’s come out bitter, bitter, bitter. So I only eat it out at a restaurant, where a pro can deal with it!
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Sweetie! You eat the seeds! Especially you and Karl because eggplant seeds contain trace amounts of nicotine! Seriously! Start stocking up on those things, baby cause you’ll need them come August 15th.
And? Did I mention that you’re just too damned funny!
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LMAO, too funny. Great photography. Congrats on the writing gig!
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Wow. I should have you do a guest spot on my Undomestic Kitchen Corner…
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Girl, you are all kinds of crazy!
Eggplant is better COOKED–or even better fried.
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Girl, next time go for eggplant parmasean (spelling). It’s really, really, really easy to make. Seriously.
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I’ve never had good luck with eggplant. But, I’ve never tried to grill it either… maybe I should.
I can’t believe you went to Google for an eggplant recipe. Geez. You go to http://www.foodtv.com for recipes!!! :slaphead:
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And now I officially have a great big huge girl crush on you.
Sounds exactly like something I would do. Did you leave out the picture where you then slap down a bowl of Easy Mac for him? I know you did.
Melizzard (who is committed to commenting on every blog she reads today where the person isn’t at Blogher - just a way to make us all feel loved)
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Peel and slice ( kind thin) the eggplant then soak in milk ( not too long !) Then coat in seasoned flour then fry the suckers up……
Bet your kids will eat it !
FRIED FOOD ! Who doesn’t love fried food ?
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Um, shouldn’t eggplant be cooked? And have copious amounts of breading on it?
Everything’s better with breading. And vodka.
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Avitable: I am very skilled in the ways of fucking up food.
Little Miss Sunshine State: I’ve been meaning to try okra…
Twenty Four At Heart: OK, I considered that. I did. But I tried to eat one of the seeds and they were HARD and NASTY!
NYCWD: really??? Ohhhhhhhhh.
little_lj: that sounds a helluva lot cooler than “eggplant”.
Mary: well it’s taken me 28 years to get to this point.
Sheila: great. I have single handedly damned the Eggplant industry.
Is there an Eggplant industry?
just bob: aww, I’m sorry.
blondefabulous: a deeper pruple than that?? Fucking stupid WalMart and their stupid produce section.
Sarah: well, see, now you know. (And I had no idea what it was going to look like when I cut into it)
B.E. Earl: mushrooms are awesome dude.
student teacher: Google said “cold or hot”. They looked like cucumber on the inside so I figured it would be like that!
Blue Streak: and I’ll call it “how to lose weight by cooking food you can’t eat”. It should be a hit.
Dee: oh yes. I can see how there would be a HUUUGE market for that. LOL
the planet of janet: I’ll figure it out. Promise.
Maria: like really, really dense cucumber.
Fumanchudad: true Southeners are hard to come by down here. But I should definitely start stalking for one.
libragirl/Rachel: nope - you’re just one of the first to admit it!
Selma: so next time I need to google “Italian or Greek eggplant”? Got it. Thanks!
bubblewench: you lost me at “I slice it”.
Jenn @ Frugal Upstate: I SWEAR TO GOD GOOGLE SAID YOU COULD EAT IT COLD!!!! I assumed that meant raw.
Kate: heh. Sorry for ruining it for you. (And thank you.)
Bucky: they were all BROWN and crap! That can’t be right!
misi: information I could have used YESTERDAY.
UnsureExposure: yeah, I think Food Network would DIE to have me.
hello haha narf: wait a minute. Are YOU now lecturing me on cooking?
Great. I’ve hit rock bottom now.
leendaluu: there are different kinds of Eggplant??
trishk: the boy will appreciate your support.
Cissa Fireheart: hm. OK. You might have a point there.
Crys: it can be bitter - but I think it is supposed to soak up the flavor of any oil, spices, etc. that you use pretty easily.
At least, that’s what Google said.
Losh: all things I was considering before I found the infestation.
Jan: oh yeah. That’s what I should do. Try to cook CURRY!
noraisins: I haven’t given up yet.
Fantastagirl: I did read a lot of options with breading. But I can’t do breading - so I was looking for an alternative. *sigh*
Finn: but do you scoop out the seeds first??
greg t: and oddly enough, I am not in the least bit hungry now..
diva65: and what do I do with the seeds?!?!
Dawn: so no more raw? Got it.
wafelenbak: I don’t know that I’ve ever had it at a restaurant even.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter: ooh. I need to get this figured out quickly then.
Anonymous: thank you.
Undomestic Diva: are you trying to say I’m UNdomestic?!?!
themuttprincess: how do you know that!?!? You live in MINNESOTA!! You’re supposed to be clueless like me about Eggplant.
The Absurdist: can it be made without breading?
AmyD: well, to be fair, Google should have directed me to foodtv.
Melizzard: oh no. They ate it. We ALLLLL ate it.
Kathy: oh damn, can’t do the flour thing.
Chicka Nuts (Kris): man, us low carbers are SCREWED.
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Um…Britt? I think you’re supposed to cook it..and the seeds are edible.
But most importantly you should bread it, fry it, cover it in cheese and tomato sauce and bake it….ya know…because all veggies should be deep fried and smothered in cheese, right?
:dunno:
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You really have got to start asking for recipes sugar.
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I would think there was an eggplant industry. I’m certain that you’ve just closed down their largest production plant… poor little Billy isn’t going to get to go to college now that his folks got laid off from the eggplant factory.
Or something like that.
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Somebody better go tell Britt than Bossy has taken over her blog!
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I think this might be the best recipe post I’ve ever seen. As I read through I kept thinking, wait, she has small kids, right? And that last picture is awesome.
In response to your comment: I’m totally thrilled that you’d even stop by and attempt a bullet!
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See - I did learn something. I thought egg plant had to be cooked to be eaten. Who knew you could eat it raw? Learned something new today! Thanks Miss Britt, Domestic Goddess.
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Okay, raw eggplant is yucky. Cooked eggplant is yummy. It soaks up anything you marinate it in. Next time (assuming there is a chance in hell of there being a next time) marinate the eggplant in the dressing, then bake it for a while. It’s much, much better, but your children may still hate you for it.
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You crack me up. Tell me you didn’t make the kids eat it?
Not a huge fan but it’s yummy mix with other things. And Babaganoush incredible stuff.
(OH and aubergine is French, I believe.)
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ha!
only lecturing you on the need to feed the child something he will eat. (something edible…hehe) you don’t see me giving you a recipe or anything, do you? nope, you haven’t hit that rock bottom!
fuck, i would have had the little italian or little chinese guy knocking on the door with my dinner. no adventure cooking over here. no cooking of any kind over here!
p.s. thanks for another photo essay. well done!
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Gah! I hate eggplant! You’ve just reminded how much.
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Hilarious. But too bad, everything you ever neet to know about eggplant has already been said… Edible seeds, unneccessary peeling, cooking it before consumption etc.
Give it a second chance! It’s good.
I love your photo essays.
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Honestly? I think I preferred the guacamole posts… At least that resulted in something edible… I am sure your kids would agree with me…
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Love the eggplant.
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Ready? Get a mandoline, slice those suckers really thin, salt for a few minutes, rinse off the sweat, deep fry them like potato chips. Yummy.
The idea of raw eggplant makes me want to cut my tongue out.
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I :heartbeat: you and your hilarious cooking skills! It’s kind of like “I Love Britt”, or something!
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As a mother who - like you - attempts to create more reasons everyday why my children will want to flee my home when they are 18, I thank you.
That has to be the most questionable-yet-terribly-fancy-looking concoction I’ve ever seen. And since I’ve tried unpronounceably-named squash soup that’s saying quite a lot.
Congratulations. My kids will be eating chilled tomatoes and eggplant with whatever tonight!
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Think of eating a raw eggplant like eating a raw potato.
You CAN, but it’s not really advisable.
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Wait, you didn’t cook it? Can you eat raw eggplant?
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batter and deep fry it. the kids will eat it then, serve with marinara to dip.
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I thought I would have something to tell you but you have already gotten the basics repeatedly. 2/3 of my kids like Ratatouille (the French cuisine that they named the rat after).
The British call eggplant ‘aubergine’ because it arrived there as an ingredient in French cuisine. The Italians or the Spanish probably brought it to America and told their neighbors that they had eggplants as a practical joke.
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Did you really want to try eating eggplant or did you just need something to blog about?
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Well this is one recipe I’ll be sure to copy down…hahaha! :crazy:
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Raw eggplant is NASTY. If you cook it until tender all the way through it can be a nice sort of meaty textured thing, amenable to any number of sauces/preparations etc. Chinese Eggplant (SMALL) is the best.
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Usually I’m just a lurker but thought I would comment in case no one else told you that you should not serve eggplant raw. Eggplant, all members of the Nightshade family actually, naturally contains Solanine. Solanine is a toxic alkoid. Raw potatoes contain the highest amounts but eggplant is right up there. Some people are so sensitive to Solanine that can’t even eat the veggies if cooked. Best bet is to always cook your eggplant. Better safe than sorry. And also the entire eggplant, skin and seeds too are edible.
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Yeah, you deserved that look.
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http://www.halushki.com/2006/10/eggplant-oh-eggplant.html
I stumbled on this today, and laughed myself silly!
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You are quite the domestic goddess. That doesn’t sound like it would be too bad if you fried it up a little. I don’t think eggplant is meant to be eaten cold but I’m not positive - I’m no domestic goddess.
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As soon as I seen all the seeds in that ugly… whatever… is about the time I’d be hitting Speed Dial #2 (Pizza Parlor)!
Oh, and you threw tomatoes in there, so I’d totally hate you, too.
And I’m going to hell for laughing at the look on your poor son’s face, lol.
It’s okay, Miss Britt. You tried — which is more than what most people can say! Because I? Would probably never even BUY an eggplant!
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See - it’s worth reading comments even if there are bazillions. If I had not read these I would not know that aubergine was poisonous.
I thought raw potato just gave you a sore tummy - never tried it to find out to see if it does anything more serious.
Off now to wikipedia or google ‘alkoids’.
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You. Are. A. Goddess. I just laughed so hard that my cat has run away from me and one of the neighbours has looked over the fence to ask what I am laughing at. I have now shown her and have sent her a link as she ’simply must show everyone at work’. You’re going to become the next email thing of joy!
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