I had a completely different post planned today. One not at all related to blogging. One that would make at least one pushy ass bitch proud.
And then? Someone crushed The Poppy.
Let me tell you a little about my relationship with Poppy. When she and I started our online “affiliation”, she didn’t trust me. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a complete retard – and so I knew she had some kind of issue with me. We were civil, we ran in the same circles, we shared the same friends and secret keepers. But we weren’t tight by any means. Now? Well let’s just say that now I want to face punch anyone who makes Poppy sad.
For those of you who didn’t click any of the above links, here’s the dish in a nutshell:
“I am very disappointed at how much of the blogosphere has imploded lately.”
A. Fucking. Men.
Let’s get one thing straight right here: this post is NOT directed at the haters and the trolls and the Judgey McJudgey Judgersons. Because honestly? Fuck them.
THIS post, right here, is aimed squarely at those of you who have shut down or are contemplating shutting down your blogs. Especially you and you. And even you.
Now, I am not suggesting that no one is allowed to stop blogging. (Although seriously, how fucking cool would that be if I had that kind of power? RAWR!!!! Ahem. Moving on.) And I know lots of bloggers who have decided to shut down or dramatically slow down their blogging because it was interfering with other things they wanted to pursue in life. And to those people I say, good for you! Truly.
Have we covered all the disclaimers? Good.
Now, to those of you who are considering shutting down your blog because:
“Recent goings-on around the Internet have made me worry about being a blogger. What if I do or say something one day that will turn into a firestorm and anyone and everyone will be talking about me, judging me, ridiculing me, etc. And if they do, is it deserved because I’ve “opened myself up” here?”
Or because:
“So many people that I thought I knew, whispering behind backs or coming straight out and directing their frustrations on a woman who is devastated and hurting beyond belief, all the while they are begging a just as guilty man to keep entertaining them daily. The venom spewed at one of the three is unbelievable to me.”
Or because:
“This is not a place I desire to be any longer. Because this is a personal blog. And I have no need for people encouraging me to my face, then quick to IM or email behind my back with name calling, secretly waiting for me to fuck up so that they can quote my blog contents on Twitter and make fun of my pain as they jump all over my life. Surprise, surprise, I am human and oh so far from perfect. I am bound to fuck up sooner rather than later.”
If that is why you have considered shutting down your blog, then to you I say:
Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare.
Look, I feel you. I really, really do. Clearly. It’s fucking embarrassing how many posts I’ve written about people on the Internet hating me.
If you think I don’t know where you’re coming from, you’re wrong. This woman can’t stand me. This one? Also not a fan. And while I am LOATHE to even link to them here, I’m so fucking done with the pussy footing around and the cryptic posts. They don’t like me. I’m not sending them Christmas cards either. End of story.
Big. Fucking. Deal.
I don’t say that to be insensitive. Truly, I don’t. Because while I can tell you now that it’s not a big deal, there was a time not all that long ago when it was a HUGE deal to me. Huge. And not because I’m insecure or immature or stupid or need a thicker skin.
It bothered me because there were a few things I still needed to learn about life and people in general. And while I know that it is damned near in possible for humans to learn from other people’s experiences because we have some genetic mutation that requires us to fall on our own faces first, I’d still like to piss in the wind make an effort to pass on to you what I learned.
And WHY I feel so strongly about people shutting down their blogs because of internet bullshit.
1. You’re not “overly sensitive”. Or naive. Or too trusting. Or stupid. There’s not a goddamned thing wrong with you. It’s just that when you’re not the type of person to go out HURTING people, it would NEVER occur to you that other people would be like that. Ever. When you run smack into that kind of behavior, you naturally ASSUME there must be a reason and that just maybe that reason lies within you. Because even THAT is easier to comprehend than the idea of someone hating just for the sake of hating, and hurting just for sport with no conscience at all.
All that being said, you’re wrong. Because…
2. It has nothing to do with you. Other people’s issues have nothing to do with you. Nothing. The thing is, everyone is looking at you and the world around them through their very own looking glass. They’re “seeing” you through their own past, their own experiences, their own pain, their own what the fuck ever that was there long before you ever came along.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you try to analyze everyone who dislikes you. There is no sense digging around in someone’s past in order to better understand WHY they feel/act the way they do. There’s no point. Because honestly…
3. Sometimes it just Is What It Is. Sometimes there is no reason that will make sense to you. Don’t even try. Just look at it from afar with the same detached curiosity of “hm, I wonder why some cultures put horseshoes through their nostrils? I don’t get it.” You have to learn to accept the fact that some people’s brains and souls and hearts work completely different from yours. If you start poking around in other people’s psyche it is way too easy to lose a firm hold on your own. And believe me when I tell you, it’s just not worth that.
All of this might sound like perfectly good reasons to shut down your blog. Distance yourself from anyone you don’t “get” or people with murky lenses to see you with.
But if you do that, you’re missing the most important point:
It’s not just online.
You can take down your blog and retreat from the Internet. You can throw yourself into “real life”. And eventually, you’ll run across it there too. In church groups. In neighborhoods. In mommy groups. And you will keep running into it until eventually you are forced to make a choice – learn how to live your life regardless of it, or retreat into a sheltered existence.
And what the fuck kind of life is that? Where is the fairness in that? Where is the respect and appreciation for the way YOU were made, for YOUR murky as hell but still valuable in this world lens?
If you let the fact that there are people who don’t get you, who don’t like you, who will dog you and mock you and go out of their way to attack you run you off the Internet – where does it end? How far are you willing to retreat in order to protect yourself?
At what point will you say, “Enough”?
I’m not telling you that all of this is some kind of magic answer. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t still second guess myself or considering running into my own cave once in a while.
But it does get easier. The doubt comes less and less. The desire to peek in and see what they’re saying about you now pops up less frequently. And most importantly, the ability to focus on those who do get you, who do love you for you, who do stand up and cheer for you and encourage you and support you – well, that part gets a whole lot easier.
I promise.
And Poppy? I, for one, am not going anywhere.
Popularity: 3% [?]
Posted in Blogging and Bloggers - Tips, Contests and Stuff for Bloggers Tagged: blogging, hate, internet, Life lessons, rejection, trolls
I feel an urge to listen to “Eye of the Tiger”.
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Yeah I slowed down to concentrate on family and getting better at taking care of me.
I know there’s a lot of drama and while I like every single one of the people involved, I’m staying out of it.
Just call me Switzerland.
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bleep bleep bleep bleep
One bleep because DUDE YOU WERE TOTALLY LISTENING IN ON MY PHONE CONVERSATION WITH DAWG WHEN I SAID I FELT LIKE GOING OFFLINE FOR A FEW DAYS TO GET AWAY FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S DRAMA.
One bleep because :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat:
One bleep because you’re articulating the situation so well without making it about you, which I can’t even tell you how much I respect.
And a final bleep because it’s too far away from Brittcon to cash in on my :hug:
And one more bleep because you totally nailed the early stages of our frenemy-ship on the head. And now you are my friend. Yay to friends. :hug:
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a well written post…and I don’t even have a blog.
one of the many reasons i respect you
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This post is awesome. Truly and honestly awesome. You always know how to write it down so that it makes sense.
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Risin up
Back on the net
Did my time, went to France, yes
Went to blogger now I’m back on my feet
Just wordpress and the will to survive…
So many posts
They comment to fast
You trade your poppy for glory
Don’t lose your mind on the spam of the past
You must write just to keep us alive…
It’s the
Blog of the poppy
It’s the feed of her site
Coming up in the favorite of browsers
And the
Last known blogtroller stalks his prey as he types
And he’s causing us fear that we looooooost cede of Poppy…
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Wayne, you win the internet.
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I am too new to this group, and only read one of the people mentioned. I feel bad the situation happened, I hope things can work out, other than that, it aint my business. So, I have tried to stay out of it and simply make pervy creepy-dude comments about your depraved lustful nature and my desire to see boobs. But now you have drawn me in the point I have to admit… DAMNIT!! There’s noting pervy or creepy I can comment to on this post.
Well played Brittina. Well played indeed.
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I could totally kiss your ass and say what a wonderful post this was, but where would that get us all.
Then again, if you really want your ass kissed I might be your man.
Clearly.
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I <3 Wayne. :love:
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I wasn’t going to shut my blog down, but after reading this entry I think I pretty much have to! People are talking about me? Really?!? I’m too scared to blog now!
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For once, I want to be in on the drama, and know what’s going on behind the scenes!
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Amen!
I had a situation that spilled over into “real life” and exploded all because of my blog. It was horrible year and a half. It just spiraled into this…this…pile of shit and kept picking up speed. Accusations, name calling, talking about me behind my back. This spread around the expat community and I was blacklisted for a few months. Sounds funny, but it is true. No one would talk to me and living in a foreign country without friends is not fun. But I made it through, have some great Swedish friends and some great expat friends who decided to ignore the mindless chatter of the few who bent everything that was said to hell and back. Everyone has gone on with their lives but I still hear the occasional rumour about me and now I laugh.
Time does heal. People get bored and move on.
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*cries eyes out*
I just shut down my blog because of you! :lmao:
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Right the fuck on.
I didn’t start blogging because I thought anyone would care what I say or how I said it, I do it for me and ONLY me.
I honestly wish someone would even try to call me out on any of my posts, oh the virtual beat down that would occur!!
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Sing it, sistah! Sing it LOUD.
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THANK GOD! You wrote this entry tonight, Miss Britt. I, for one, am incredibly grateful to see that not everybody has done GONE AND LOST THEIR FUCKING MINDS!
I appreciate your refreshing honestly and blunt writing about this. MAJOR respect points. Even more than you already have, and that is saying a lot!
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I did blog about the whole “what if I say or do something that turns you from me” thing. Well, I sorta did. Really, I am who I am. Either people like to read me or they don’t. I’ve been drug into “wars” before on the net. Not a fan of that shit. I prefer to stay low key. Basically, though, it boils down to this with me: Nothing anyone out here can say would be even half as bad as what happened to me in my past. So I stay. If anyone out here threatened me and my existence the way it was 20 years ago… maybe then I might leave. Even then, it would only be temporary.
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I have pissed my MIL off with my blog, my mother, my husband, my kids, my best friend, my husband’s ex-boss and his crackwhore wife.
Instead of my personal becoming involved in the internet, my internet became involved in my personal. Know where I stand on it? In the immortal words of Smokey…
“Remember it ,Write it down, take a picture, I don’t give a fuck.”
:rock:
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Oh, and I’m TOTALLY drinking RIGHT NOW.
:secret:
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Once again girl, you nailed it!
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you are a good friend. thanks for helping to keep me on the midnight cliff.
:heartbeat:
on a totally different note, i think i am in love with whall after his posting those lyrics.
:lmao:
finally, you used two of my quotes and it took me a second to recognize them as my own. damn, i was madder than i thought when i banged out that “i’m outta here” post. that fact kinda makes me giggle today.
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Okay, now, seriously, what the hell am I apparently completely oblivious to?
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I didn’t shut down my blog because of other people, I shut it down because of me.
And you know what? I don’t miss it.
It’s JUST a blog.
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I’m in a similar boat as Y2K survivor. While I am fairly new to posting to the group as a whole, I have been reading all of your blogs for quite some time now.
I hate to see how the drama created by a couple of people can lead to a total meltdown of the group.
For me, blogging is a type of release, a drug of sorts. One I can do in semi-anonymity and not regret what I have said or done. It’s hard to do that “in real life.” And it is something that would be hard for me to live without now that I have experienced it daily for a few years. I like to think that it is hard for the others as well, and they will be back for another hit as soon as the withdrawal kicks in.
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I have been thinking about walking away from mine too but not over any of the drama you reference. Parts of blogging are so 10th grade that it curls my stomach. I don’t leave it though – because I think it does me more good than bad. And I may actually be wrong there but that’s where I am with it.
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So… you like these people and don’t want them to stop or you’re just pissed because people are up and stopping? I’m confused here.
And I don’t want BB to stop either. I just started reading her!
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Britt, I’m pretty sure you know I love you and yours is the first blog I read each day – I’ve said it a few times now, so I feel that is out there. However I have a real beef with part of this:
I am honestly a bit peeved at reading about events that are occurring and having no idea what the hell they are. I am not suggesting that I need to know everything or be involved in everyone’s life. When a story is going on and on and on, though, it would be lovely to have SOME kind of idea what the hell everyone else is talking about because I don’t want to keep skipping your posts that make no sense to me.
I was also just about to say “Sorry if this sounds harsh” because I like to be apologetic and make people like me, but this one particular post seems appropriate to just being open and honest.
I love your blog, would love to have the faintest fucking idea what happened, and will probably continue to read on in the dark…
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I’m Switzerland too.
I won’t say a damn thing. Hey! What’s happening this summer? How are the kids?
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I started my blog for me. I wanted to say something, My husband wasn’t in a listening mood, and I went online and poured out my feelings and secrets. Yeah, sounds sucky that I annoyed my hubby so much he took off when I said, “Hon, can I talk to you?”, but I digress….. I do it for me, and if someone wants to look in on my freaked out existence, I’ll give you a hi, how ya doin’, and go about my business. It’s just how I am. :rock:
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very well said!
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avitable: now I have that song stuck in my head.
Karen Sugarpants: you’re not Switzerland. Switzerland is all “we have no opinion!” You? You CARE about everyone. And who could fault you for that?
Poppy: I have to tell you, every time you bleep, I imagine you like Beaker (is that his name??) from the Muppets. LOL
Oh – and :hearbeat: you too.
just me: well thanks. I think that for some of us, this is shit we run into in our regular lives as much as the Internet. I know it had been for me.
Sheila: I’m glad it’s making sense to some people – since I see it’s still WTF??!?! to a lot of others. LOL
whall: you are the world’s best commenter. Seriously.
Y2K Survivor: I win!! Woo hoo!
B.E. Earl: well I don’t know where it would get us ALL – but it might get ME to a happy, happy place.
Angel: he is teh awesome.
Dave2: well, not you. You’re king of the Internet. We took a vote.
Andria: what?!?! Dude – I provided LINKS!! There’s no behind the scenes here!!
I think you guys think I am wayyyy more mysterious than I am.
DaDuck: who knew expats could be nasty?
Danalyn: OMG you totally did.
OK, you and Wayne are tied for the Internet Win today.
that guy: a virtual beat down eh? Someone should sell tickets.
Kay: most of the time? Yep.
Karl: loud and outta tune baby.
Amber: can I tell you how adorable it is that you said “GONE AND LOST THEIR FUCKING MINDS”? I’m seriously squeeing a little here.
Winter: the good thing about having a bumpy past is you DO have a better perception on what you can get through.
AmyD: I love it when you don’t give a fuck.
And drink.
Mindy: thanks. I’m glad I didn’t confuse the ENTIRE Internet.
hello haha narf: yeah, you were pissed. You didn’t even respond to text and calls!! Crazy.
Captain Steve: ummmm… nothing? I don’t know. I linked and quoted and shit. Where are you lost?
Mr. Fabulous: “It’s JUST a blog.”
GASP! I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear you say that. Let’s pretend, instead, you said “if I had only known how much you loved me!!!” or something.
Bucky: yeah, I can go about three days without needing a
hitfix.Kimberly: plus I love the way you write. And that scooter. Girl, I cannot imagine an Internet without The Scooter.
kapgar: I just hate to see people run away because I know what that feels like.
Dee: Ahhhh DAMMIT! I thought for SURE I had made this one very clear and non cryptic. Links! Quotes! DAMMIT!
OK, tell me where you’re confused. Because there are no secrets here.
metalmom: the kids? The kids are right up under my ass cheek!! Thanks!
Blondefabulous: good for you!
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When someone has let their life revolve around their blog, I think there is a bigger problem at hand and a break should be taken to reassess priorities.
Don’t get me wrong – I enjoy blogging. I enjoy the online community surrounding it but I don’t let it run my life. If someone doesn’t like what I said – oh well. Build a bridge and get over it.
People need to learn to deal with conflicts in their life whether it’s their real life or their online life because you’re right Britt, it is everywhere.
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Wow.
You just totally said everything I had WANTED to say last night on the phone with her, but it just didn’t come out right. Obviously you would make a better boyfriend than I am. You seriously rawk for this post :rock:
@Wayne – Thank you for making me spit ice coffee all over myself. Dry cleaning bill is in the mail.
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You don’t know how glad I am that I’ve recently found your blog. I love your no pussy foot and down with cryptic blogs attitude. Woohoo!
You are speaking nuttin’ but the truth here. Screw the asshats in life, both online and off.
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@avitable, @miss_britt, @NYCWD… thank you. This morning on the way to work I filmed myself singing the mini-parody for possible inclusion in this week’s “Wayne’s 3-minute DITL”. Now I struggle with fears about rumors of me and Poppy since, well, it would be the second week in a row that I mention her in my vlog.
Given the drama that would undoubtedly unfold, I’d probably quit my blog.
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@Wayne….Ill be sending my dry cleaning bill with Dawgs….That is HILARIOUS! Great lyrics!
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Actually, this one was mostly pretty clear :lmao: What I don’t understand is what happened in the first place to set all this off, and to whom. I have seen a lot of references to a big explosive event (and some secrets?) but have no clue what it is.
I am still desperate to put in an apology for asking here and I do not think I can deny my affirmative seeking side: I’m not doing this because I’m morbidly curious about hurt feelings etc, but because I would like to know what I am reading about! And beginnings are important to me.
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@ Wayne – I missed your comment on my first scan through. I just now sang it out loud. It’s pretty awesome. :rock:
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I find it funny that people find the need to announce they aren’t blogging anymore. Why not just stop? Why the need to announce it?
As far as the different reasons…people are always going to judge you. It’s the way the world works, sadly. They will judge you by a blog, by what you wear, say, act and do. That’s life.
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@Dawg: No one can ever replace you, you are the best boyfriend in the entire universe. :heartbeat: And, it’s a little hard for you to be articulate when I START SCREAMING IN YOUR EAR ABOUT IT when I really should have been helping *you* through *your* grumpy day. phooey. Told you I always get it wrong.
Let’s try this again: “Honey, tell me about your bad day. What can I do to make it better? Put your feet up in my lap and take a snooze while I rub your feeties.”
Ahhhh, much better.
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Switzerland doesn’t care about people? Oh shit. Then who am I? HALP!
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Thank you.
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Amen, Sistah Sledge!
I’d never shut mine down because of anyone else because to me, it’s not JUST a blog. That’s a ridiculous thing for someone like me to think because it’s so much more. It’s where I pour out my heart and soul; it’s where I practice my writing skills; it’s where I’ve made (and kept, thank you) almost all of my best friends; it’s m online window to other places that I cannot physically be.
So yeah, I could have just said that I agree 100% but that’s now how I roll.
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My theory is that people complain about internet drama but at the same time can never let it go. Sort of like “o how COULD they!?!? – lemmee see lemmee see.”
Then when shit starts flying all over the place they’re like…
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c237/kazsyrps/babybaw.jpg
And then people spit on their computers and complain about people and – look – it’s the same crap over and over and over.
If it really bothered folks they’d move on to something else. But it continues to the degree people enjoy participating in it, and how much they want to complain that it sucks just sooooo much.
The dramatic bow-out can go from attention-whoring to seriously sad. But we bloggers have a warped sense of reality. Whether 10 or 100 people comment on a blog is nothing compared to a serious readership of tens of thousands. So a dozen people think you’re an idiot. Big fucking deal.
My problem is that I have to really care about what a friend feels in order to have their opinion matter. I can count on one hand the people in life who have an opinion that I would be moved by if they didn’t like something. And none of them but my wife has a blog in the first place.
This whole thing is giving me a rash on my heinie.
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Jen: I think balance is DEFINITELY important. In everything.
NYCWD: yeah, but I won’t have sex with her.
Queen of Shake Shake: well, not ’screw ‘em’ – wait, I did say “fuck ‘em” – didn’t I?
I’m aiming for more of a “meh” attitude. Eventually.
whall: and then we can slap you. YAY!
Dee: the beginning of people not liking me? Ummm… birth? LOL
B: I understand the need to announce it. Some people feel a connection to their readers. I totally get that.
Karen Sugarpants: ummmm…. Belize? What’s Belize like?
Jan: welcome.
Hilly: it’s not just a blog to me either. And I’m done giving a fuck about what that “says” about me.
RW: I cannot believe how long your comment was. Wow.
I am definitely (obviously) a “can’t let it go, need the last word, if I can just make myself a LITTLE more clear” person. But come on – you have to admit I’m EVOLVING, right?
I’m totally fucking evolving.
I can tell you right now at least 5 people I would call my Best Friends. I care what every single one of them thinks. And that doesn’t even start on family, etc.
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Agreement #2 of The Four Agreements: Never take anything personally. I can’t tell you how absolutely freeing it was for me when I finally “got” this. And I realize it’s a hard thing to get. It takes practice.
You’re 100% right when you say it has nothing to do with you. There are people in the world whose only sense of identity comes from comparing themselves with other people. They take swipes at others to feel superior. And there’s never any way to tell when that need is going to be directed at you.
The difference between the ‘Net and real life is that in real life people talk about you behind your back so you can be blissfully ignorant.
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I’m with a few people – no clue as to what shit went down, but I aspire to have the femmeballs you clearly have.
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Hum, I think I’m going to like it here.
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Due to my inconsiderate vacation last week, I missed all the drama! I have no idea what is going on with anyone.
But, regardless, your post is good.
:martini:
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Amen sistah! People talk about me all the time. Thats why when I see them grouped, I walk by and drop a SBD bomb. At least they’ll be talking the truth then.
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I’ve been reading you for awhile. You tell it like it is and don’t sugarcoat things, which I like ’cause I’m on a diet!
As far as the drama I felt like a detective last week, bouncing from this blog to that one, trying to piece it together. I didn’t leave any comments anywhere ’cause A) I don’t know these people and B) it ain’t my business.
I’m new to blogging, I just started last week. I’m trying this for me. I hope to be as lucky as you and be able to meet some great people.
As far as people shutting down their blogs; if it just doesn’t fit into your lifestyle anymore, then say good-bye. But it shouldn’t be because of other people’s opinions, comments or bullshit.
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I have to say I can’t argue with the peeps who either scale-back their blogging or take breaks because of other issues – like health or family or what have you.
But what REALLY irritates me is when bloggers who have made it big (like, say, getting a book published) become far too important for the blog that got them there. All of the sudden the blog is, like, the red-headed-stepchild and we, who have commented faithfully, are just dropped like bad habits. NOT THAT MIGHT PISS ME OFF. :poke:
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Now, I meant. NOW.
Fuck.
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Yeah!
I am staying too. and that means all of me!
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I used to worry about what people thought of me. And then I would drive myself insane trying to become what I thought they thought I should be.
Now, I figure if they don’t like me then that’s just a sure sign of their mental deficiency.
My blog posts have come back to bite me in the ass IRL more often than I care to think about. I have evil ex husbands who love to use the shit I write about on here against me. But what I write about is my life, as I live it. They would find out about it anyway and use it still. At least this way they have my side of the story.
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they totally are. And cliquey too. (Is that a word? cliquey? My english is going to hell!!)
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“The desire to peek in and see what they’re saying about you now pops up less frequently.”
So when is that gonna happen for you, Britt? Don’t you have better things to do than go searching the internet for random comments?
I don’t go making posts dedicated to you, I wrote you off and that’s that. It’s really sad how you and Adam can’t get over Miss Ann and me.
If you and Adam hate us so much, then why are you at our blog 5 times a day reading our comments, waiting to hear a derogatory comment about somebody, ANYBODY who you might vaguely know so you can immediately shoot them an e-mail saying, “Oh My God, someone made a random comment somewhere and I THINK it’s about you!”
That’s the difference between you and me, I say what I really think and not just what I think people want to hear. Then, if they like me, they do and if they don’t like me?
I DON’T FRET OVER IT.
I’m not upset about your post here, I expected it from you seeing how much you and Adam were lurking at me and Miss Ann’s blogs the last week or so, LOOKING FOR DRAMA.
And I don’t need to go to my blog and boo-hoo about how some big meanie hurt my little feelers and DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA and everyone needs to know that I’m nice and these people I’m linking to are horrible, horrible!
Uh, Pot? Kettle. Nice to meet ya.
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I :heartbeat: you, Britt. And as promised, I am taking your words with me on my trip to think it over. Thank you for being so wonderful.
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Hey, don’t knock the sheltered existence! The voices keep me company, and we’re all doing just fine dammit! :cheese:
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So, Annie Banannie, this is you not fretting over it, eh?
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Eh. I tried to quit my blog at the end of the year. It lasted four days.
So, now I just don’t post as much. :rock:
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Pondering. Ruminating. Editing.
Okay–now I’m ready(have you been watching me on Woopra sitting here all this time ?hee hee)
It’s my blog.
It’s my show.
It’s my life.
People can say what they want about any of them.
I learned a LONG time ago–that would be an interesting blog post right about now LOL— that they will–I can’t stop them. Certainly when you hear those kinds of things it can be painful. But you can’t let that stop you living.
What I can do is continue to be me. My show and my blog are not me–they are creative forms of expression for me.
And I choose to express what I want when I want.If someone doesn’t like it–click the next fucking blog button or find the next show over. Or go to their own blog and yack away.
But I’m not changing me for anybody.
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Britt,
Your 1, 2, and 3 really hit home. I thought your points were refreshingly substantive, where well-intended similar attempts usually fall short. I’m impressed. Good for all bloggers to read and LEARN (especially me). Gold star. : )
P.S. – you sure say “fuck” a lot.
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It would be really easy to delve into the psychology of why someone is a hater and why they should just be ignored, but instead I’ll just say this:
When you change your behavior because of some assholes then those assholes WIN.
Which was sort of the point of your post, I just thought I’d come in and be the one who says “yeah! What SHE said!”
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I try to just stay away from the drama. For the most part there hasn’t been much drama in my bloggerhood, but the most blogs you come across and the more people you meet the more likely you are to find it. I don’t get involved though, unless I think someone that I’m close to was seriously wronged.
I don’t know why, but I think most people are surprised the first time they discover that there are shitty people in the blogosphere just like there are in the “real” world. I guess it cause for the most part the blogosphere is pretty cool and accepting.
I might give up blogging for personal reasons someday, but there isn’t anyone that can make me give up just cause they suck ass. In fact, if somebody was trying to get me to stop by being an asshole, I’d probably start posting several times a day just to piss them off.
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Wow. I’m totally glad I don’t partake in internet drama or whatever you might call it. I really don’t care if people hate me. It only makes me stronger.
I’m pretty sure I don’t matter much anyways hahaha. I might have to shut down my blog now just because i’m too lazy to blog. LOL Is that a good excuse?
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Finn: that’s a good point. Sometimes ignorance on that crap IS bliss.
I’ve always told my friends, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know.
A Whole Lot of Nothing: femmeballs eh? LOL
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas: it’s kind of psychotic. But it’s not too shabby.
themuttprincess: I think people are assuming there is wayyy more going on here than there is. LOL
Dazd: we need to learn how to far on the Internet.
Employee No. 3699: yep, exactly.
Undomestic Diva: yeah, i have to admit, that bugs me juuuuust a little bit too.
maman: woo hoo!
Ms Batman: and? you have the template you like! yay!
DaDuck: I have no clue how to spell that.
annie: I’m going to guess you’re a skim reader, because you clearly missed the boat on this one.
BlondeBlogger: have a good trip!
Kyra: well… uh…heh… OK.
avitable: we’re so not even going there.
Lynda: I see that a lot, where people scale back and I get that. Makes perfect sense to me.
Turnbaby: good for you babe!
(I so wanted to say sugar there)
John: well thank you. And – heh – sorry ’bout that. Today was an especially profane day.
Erin: but you said it so creatively!
Jay: yeah, I think the odds catch up to you after a while.
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yoshi: Laziness is ALWAYS an excuse!
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I just wanted to say, “I love you.”
That is all.
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I just want to tell you, you ROCK.
hgreatone:
I say it all the time, but that’s because it’s true.
Also, some people suck, like that crazy Ann bitch up there, who is obviously above it all (snort).
I will cut someone for Poppy, too.
Let’s start a girl blog gang! Adam can be the leader. Haha
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No gangs, no gangs, no gangs, no gangs.
Defeats point.
No sides.
Just happy. Everyone HAPPY!
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@ John
Hell yeah she “says Fuck a lot!” She has “A Drawer” you know?
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I’ve had people write about me, pissed off my whole family, been called to HR at work because of an offended coworker, and had a picture I posted of myself stolen, put up on another blog, and ridiculed…and I’m still here.
I loved this post.
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This was a good post. There’s been so many changes, and I’m on the outermost fringes of ‘em (i.e. not really getting the jokes, etc.), but I’m glad you’re hangin’ in there.
come by and visit sometime!
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Anyone want a glass of wine?? I’m buying.
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What if your reason is that the blogworld feels lonely without your best friend and all to painful to read posts trashing said best friend? ‘Cuz, seriously? It’s been really hard to blog lately and, I confess, I have been considering it, too.
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I think this getting slapped thing is going to work out well for a buddy of mine … he’s shutting down his S&M Blog. It’ll be a nice going-away present for him.
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This is why I keep coming here. And, yeah, this Annie person really didn’t get. Oh well everyone can be as fabulous as you. :clap:
@whall, great job!
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OK, now I’m feeling better that I only have about 50 regular readers and get one or two comments on a post if I’m lucky.
I couldn’t take all that drama! (Yes, I clicked on the links; whew.)
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um, that meant to say……NOT everyone can be as fabulous as you. Studpid keyboard. :banghead:
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:banghead: :banghead: ugghhhh, trish, I’ll take that glass of wine now.
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Ok, I just spent way more time than I have finding out what all this was b/c I had no freakin’ clue and I’m a drama whore (as long as it’s someone else’s), and yeah, I know that’s not good. I try to work on it.
Anyway, you sound sensible and right on here, as always. And in response to your comment about “teasing”: every time I’ve seen a photo of you here the first thing I’ve thought is, Damn her with that hair. It’s an ugly jealous moment every time. So I say, Tease on!
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I don’t know what’s going on and that’s fine by me.
But I don’t really care if people talk crap about me because of my blog, actually it’d be a nice change of pace than what goes on normally, but eh.
I am who I am and being the kind of person I am I tend to offend a lot of people and I just have to learn to be okay with that.
Kudos to you for having the balls to make such a great post tho!
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Ok…who do I get to slap for my inbox exploding while I was at work?
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You know one of the problems with always getting to the party late is that whatever I wanted to say has already been said 9million times before. I think about walking away occasionally usually when I’m sure I’ve upset someone (not some asshole commenter but someone I care about).
I overuse sorry at the moment. Sorry.
This comment is getting away from me.
You really do rock though. :disco:
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Britt — STANDING OVATION!!! You said it ALL, just perfectly! If I was that wise when I was your age, I’d be a bloomin’ GENIUS by now!!! Thanks for being so grounded and being able to articulate your thoughts so brilliantly.
whall — Fantastic lyrics!
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I totally agree with you, Britt. And I’m not shutting down my blog. But I might quit twittering. It’s becoming way too much of a distraction. And it’s no fun, if your boyfriend hates it. (sigh)
J.
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I have to say that I’ve thought SERIOUSLY about shutting my blog down because of the bullshit that goes on. I made a decision to eliminate stress from my life. Seeing people rip the shit out of each other stresses me out.
I have a choice though…I don’t have to read it.
I just wish they wouldn’t do it. I mean, what’s the point? To feel superior? To feel bigger than everyone else? I just don’t get it.
Sometimes I feel like the drama is the stuff I saw in high school. I graduated from high school 24 years ago. I’m an adult now.
Just sayin’.
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:eyebrow: Holy shit.
That is all.
Seacrest out.
Peee Essss….I just sang Wayne’s version of Eye of the Tiger and the hubs said, “You’ve got the words all fucked up, babe.”
God bless hot men.
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You’re being featured on Five Star Friday:
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2008/06/five-star-friday-edition-11.html
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So, I am relatively new to your blog, and the cast of characters at hand here. I spent a looong time reading your archives, and the Mommy Group Post. Holy Fucking Batman- those women were crazy.
Then, I clicked out on the blogs you listed. One in particular impressed me, because she had beaucoup comments. Then, I realized that 99% were her and her 3 alter-egos. Blech.
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Hear, hear!!!
The best thing to do in the face of TOTAL ASSHOLES is just to go on about your life, flourish, prosper, do what you do, and let them rot in the stench of their own private personal hell all on their lonesome. You walk the talk, baby.
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Since there is a real possibility of you actually whacking me in the face, I shall continue.
Violence (or threat thereof) wins.
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First of all, I gotta tell ya that yesterday I was reading this and got interrupted at work, and minimized it. Came in this morning and it was still here! So if I look some type of sicko stalker who just cannot leave your site, I’m sorry!!! It was an accident!
Having said that, Amen to everything you said. Once people start realizing that all people are different; do different things, feel different things, believe in different things, and stop expecting them to all be the same, everyone would get along so much better.
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Jennifer: why thank you.
Sybil Law: I suddenly feel the urge to watch West Side Story.
Poppy: LOTS OF HAPPY!! No problem babe.
y2k survivor:
Debbie: DAYum girl!
Sudiegirl: me? I’m fine. None of the “changes” have happened to me this time.
Trishk: Yes! Please! Two!
Shelli: oh sweetie, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. We all are here for you babe.
delmer: shit.
Dragon: whall does totally win the Internet.
Donna W: it’s exhausting isn’t it?
Ok, Where Was I?: I really need to do a photo essay on that sometime.
Sarah: thanks for the kudos.
Danalyn: anyone but me!
Bec: really?? I can’t imagine anything you write being offensive to anyone.
Myra: I cannot WAIT to tell my husband that someone said I was grounded. Ha! Take that!
HoosierGirl: how can you give up The Twitter!!
Lisa: I know babe, i know.
And then if you’re really naive you think you’ll right one final loud screaming EVERYONE KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!! and that will end it. *sigh*
Stephanie: that about sums it up.
schmutzie: really?? woo hoo! thanks!
Andria: *snort* that is all.
Kat: I just realized I could have made this post much shorter.
Rich: hahahahahhahahaha – YES!
Robina: so it was YOU! Kidding. Luckily I spent the night on the couch with a hella fever – so it went completely unnoticed.
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No worried, Miss Britt. My blog is staying up. In fact, I’m hard at work on another one that will be up later this year.
As for the other blogs shutting down, I really hope they find their voice in some other blog or another outlet. Would hate to see a single situation silence their voices.
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Hey, Britt, I’ve had a stalker. He kept telling me he loved me (and some other unsavoury things). At first it freaked me out and I thought: ‘Maybe I shouldn’t really be blogging’ and then I thought :’But I really like it.’ So I’m not going to stop. So I’m blowing a raspberry to all the naysayers and stalkers et al right now. You know how much I care for you. Don’t be upset. You are one in a million. :heartbeat:
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Seriously, dont you just get weary of all the knee-deep bullshit all of the time? For real.
Why you engage, Britt, is beyond me. I just cannot get a grasp on the reasoning. Why validate ANY of it.
And seriously, one of the things you can truly NOT control are other peoples opinions, perceptions or words, about you or others. So, why expend the energy trying to achieve the impossible? Why not shop for shoes, instead…
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if the jackasses don’t hate you, you’re doing something wrong.
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I think I have a “frenemy,” too. Hmmm. (Did you make up that word? It’s good!) Not sure what I did either, and I know what you mean about the not-so-subtle messages.
Blogging is sort of a funny thing, especially the personal ones. It’s hardly ever truly satisfying, and many of us have other things we should be spending our time and energy on. And you’re absolutely right about people being the same wherever you go, online or offline.
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I gotta say, though, at least these people have a REASON for considering shutting down their blogs. I’ve “quit blogging forever!!!” more times than I hope anyone remembers, and half the time it was from sheer laziness. And then there was that one time I shut down my blog because my name wasn’t on Dave2’s blogroll. I only wish I was kidding. I’m on medication now, thank God.
This is a great column, by the way. Very well-put, and covering all the aspects. It would sure make me have second thoughts.
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Offensive, me? Sometimes being English is all you need!
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Just thought I’d get rid of the bold…
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Great post!
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uhmmmm
amen.
I am glad someone else finally had the balls to start naming. I really hope YOU don’t care about them anymore. I mean, really, look at who is talking.
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Dude, after reading this post, I totally want to lick your face. Or buy you a drink, whatever, you know, something friendly, anyway.
hgreatone: :clap:
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I read you a lot, just don’t comment much – I don’t know why – usually cause someone else has already said what I was going to say
I saw this post first on Five Star Friday – usually I find you over at Jay (Cynical Bastard)
anyway – right on!
I’d never let anybody else stop me from saying what I gotta say.
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Ok, first, I need this small moment:
OoOOoOoOHHHH my photo got linked to! I’m not sure that’s ever happened, anywhere. So that’s neat.
ALSO, I LOVE this post. I hope you’ve kept some people going.
I myself am about to ATTACK flickr with entirely too many uploads. I think I’m just moving all my online things into one huge Flickr thing, but it works for me. A photo blog, if you will.
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My blog is still open for business, thankyouverymuch, and will celebrate its fourth anniversary next month.
Now I need to get my lazy butt over there and write something.
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Found you via Buddha on the Road (thanks, John)! Great post. So many people do this, and it’s so silly, isn’t it? We write because we want to, and if people don’t like it, so what? I love your take on this. It’s not any different in the real world, to be sure. Keep blogging!
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Great post!
What people think and say about me isn’t worth a fucking thing. It’s not they that stare back at me in a mirror– it’s me, and only me! So, what I think about myself is all that matters.
That should apply to anyone!
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