I keep writing and deleting and rewriting this post.
And smoking. And explaining to my boss that it is not unproductive to smoke 3 times in one hour.
And then rewriting and deleting it again.
The fact that you’re reading anything here at all is a testament to the power of the human spirit. Or the state of the American Worker. Something.
I don’t think it’s a secret to anyone reading this that blogging has become a big deal to me. Having a place to write and be heard is healing and has allowed me to grow in ways I wouldn’t have guessed possible two years ago. And the relationships - ah yes, the relationships…
The relationships have left me feeling a little shaken over the past few days.
(Dear Uber Supportive Commenter Who Is Already Preparing To Scroll Down And Tell Me “this too shall pass, we love you! screw em!”: Chill out. I’m not done.)
I’ve come to see the blogosphere as this really great ‘place’ where people can be who they are, identify with other like minded people, and really have a chance to ‘connect’ with a variety of people they wouldn’t otherwise have the chance to know.
I don’t place any less value on the relationships people make online than the ones made in the office place or the gym or anywhere else you might happen to “meet” people. (And we will all just ignore for right now the fact that I could only come up with two “real world” examples of where you might meet someone. Thank you.)
I realize that there are still people out there who don’t get that. I know that people still think of the Internet as some kind of make believe fantasy world filled with crazies and liars desperately trying to escape reality. I’m aware of the perception, as well as the fact that in some corners of the Internet that may be true.
A week ago, I would have sworn to you that my little corner of the Internet was immune from that.
Oh how the naive have fallen.
In the last couple of days I’ve had my eyes opened for me, and I’m terrified by what I see.
I’ve learned that some people only play The Nice Guy on the Internet. I’ve learned that we are not, in fact, one big happy lovin’ family. I’ve seen people that I trusted, people that I believed in, do things that I would never have imagined they were capable of. I’ve heard about pettiness and bickering and backstabbing and bitching from people that I would have sworn were just nice, accepting, loving people.
And while not One Single Word or Act was directed at me, it’s left me feeling unsteady and lost.
I find myself over analyzing comments, or the lack thereof from certain people. Has someone simply been being polite to me because I’m all up in their face with the love and the internet friendliness, while they’re cringing on the inside and sending texts and private messages about OMG SHE IS SO ANNOYING!? Are the people that I genuinely care about and admire sitting on the sidelines laughing at me, while I skip along through life completely oblivious to their disdain?
This is a new and ugly place for me. I tend to take life and people at face value. I assume people return my affections, because why the hell wouldn’t they??
It’s not that I am just now finding out that it’s possible for one person to dislike another. It’s just… I always assumed I’d know.
It never ceases to amaze me when someone turns out to be not at all what or who I thought they were. Like, stop me in my tracks, jaw dropped, holy CRAP how did they pull that off so well and how the hell did I miss that?!?! amazement.
I can’t help but wonder, “if I was so terribly wrong about them, who else have I been deluding myself about??”
Please, for the love of GOD, do not read this as a “poor me, what if nobody likes me” post. Because that’s not it. At all. And if one more person misinterprets my words to be those of a weak, insecure, needy whiner I am very likely to lose my ever loving shit. Seriously.
I don’t give a FUCK if you like me or not. Seriously.
I know who I am and what I stand for without your approval or applause.
But I expect to be able to tell which side of the line you stand on. For all the faults of the Internet haters and trolls, at least you know where they stand. And while they’re nasty and rude and take pleasure in a meanness I could never understand, they fly their Bitch Flag high enough so that you know from the start to stay the fuck away.
It bothers me to think that I have misjudged people. It frustrates me to think that I have seen good where there was none. It worries me that my judgment could be seriously flawed.
That is a dangerous possibility for someone like me.
Dangerous because I live my life openly. Online or off. I am who I am, loud and proud, with no apologies or remorse (constant self analysis aside).
I am the girl who seeks out the guy in the corner because he seems lonely. I ignore your attempts to back away because I assume you are simply shy. I am confident that if I continue to reach out to you, you will crawl out of your shell and appreciate the human connection. And I do it because at my core I believe in the good in those people. I put myself out there because I trust myself and my instincts and it never occurs to me that someone I liked could turn out to be a complete and total shit.
And there is no way in hell that is going to change.
Not because I’m brave or strong or secure in who I am. But because I simply have no other choice. This is me, the only way I know how to do it. I don’t know how to put up a wall. It would never occur to me to be guarded. I have absolutely no idea how to do anything but let it all hang out.
I have no defense mechanism for people who aren’t what I expected them to be. None. I’m ill equipped, it seems.
That scares the hell out of me. I wonder how many times I can be disillusioned and disappointed before I become bitter and bruised. I feel like I’m wandering around not knowing who to trust, and I have no idea how to operate without trust.
I’m not writing this for advice.
I know the only “advice” that works here. I know Jared and Adam are right. I have to move on and try to hold on to my faith, in myself and in other people. I have to focus on the people who have proven themselves to be genuine and hope for the best. I know that I cannot live my life waiting for the next disappointment. I cannot give up and assume that the bitter, nasty people who revel in other people’s heartache as an opportunity to say “Ha! I told you so!” are somehow an accurate representation of the state of humanity.
I’m writing this because:
a) I needed to in order to make sense of all of these fears and doubts rumbling around in my head
and
b) I know I am not alone in this recent shake up. I know there are others, like me, who are standing around with their mouths hanging open wondering “how in the hell could we be so wrong?” I know some of us are pissed. We don’t like feeling like we were misled. We don’t like feeling like we were wrong to trust people. We don’t like feeling like we don’t know who the hell to trust NOW.
And to those of you who are nodding your head right now I say: right here. Right fucking here is at least one person left who is still who they say they are. Take it or leave it, love it or hate it, you know what the hell you’re getting into.
And it’s not just me. I have spent a good part of the last few hours taking inventory of the people that are genuine. And the list is refreshingly long. It’s not filled with saints and it’s not perfect - but it’s enough. It’s enough to cling to. It’s enough to give me faith.
It’s enough to remind me that it is OK to not live in fear of disappointment.
Posted in Blogging Tips, Tricks and Junk for Other Bloggers, just rambling Tagged: blogging, doubt, friendship, relationships
Wait - did you just say that your real husband and me, your blog husband, are right?
This is a momentous day indeed.
I feel hurt. I feel confused. I feel like “oh no, NOT AGAIN.” I feel like I could really stand to never go through this shit again and that would be ok by me.
And I really need a hug. I’ll be cashing in this weekend. And again during Brittcon, thanks.
“poor me, what if nobody likes me”
Is it really that bad if I like you?
I missed what happened (sorry) but definitely see exactly what you are saying, through other experiences I have had. Hugs, girl.
I know who I am and what I stand for without your approval or applause.
Ultimately, that’s all that matters… and even though you stand without it…
I feel. I dunno, actually. I’m definitely hurt, I know that. And shocked. and.. lots of other emotions.
But how can I feel betrayed and misled? This IS the internet, I came here - not here as in HERE - but to the webs, knowing people don’t show their true self, and I accepted it.
and.. i dunno. Insert relevant junk and stuff here
“It’s enough to remind me that it is OK to not live in fear of disappointment.” Amen, Britt.
I’m not the only person this happens too?
I’ve discovered that most people suck. They are not who they appear to be - I’m the one who is always blindsided and it sucks.
The last line of your post may have given me the courage to get out of bed tomorrow.
I have to be honest with you - once again, I’m more sickened by the reactions and the hatred being spread around. People believing they are on some moral high horse when they wouldn’t know morality if it fell out of the sky, landed on their face and started to wiggle.
Talk is cheap, Britt. It always has been and it always will be. I have had people in my home who have later done things that I couldn’t begin to believe. To see it done online - meh, at least I didn’t have them at my table on Christmas.
Know what I mean? People are people. Human, flawed. How’s it go? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone?
Fuck it. It is what it is.
So, I’ve heard ramblings and rumor. Was it all a big fake experiment? I hope that people who read my blog know I’m for real. I try to stay out of the net drama as much as I can. Life is full of enough BS and drama, I don’t need to go searching it out. maybe that is why I have more net friends that IRL friends? That is scary.
“this too shall pass, we love you! screw em!”
As someone who got her teeth kicked by the internet this week, I can say in all truth, I hear ya! But ROCK ON!
I feel I have no words at the moment. I’m dumbfounded. Hurt. Angry. Disappointed.
And I feel like I have no RIGHT to be any of those things.
But then I remember all the fucking therapy I’ve had and I say, fuck you, I have every right to feel whatever the hell I feel.
I am just a teensy weensy insecure and needy. Just a wee bit. But I am getting better one minute at a time.
I hope to hell I am on that list of people who you think is genuine. I try to be.
I wanna be here for everyone, whenever I can. You guys are really important to me. Now more than ever. I love you, Britt. Thanks for being my friend.
I can safely say that 3 smoke breaks an hour is definitely not non-productive.
But I’m confused. What’d I miss?
I know there are others, like me, who are standing around with their mouths hanging open wondering “how in the hell could we be so wrong?”
Um yeah. That would be me! And everyone else I know. I just can’t believe what I’m hearing/seeing today. I’m flabbergasted.
Hang in there girl. If there’s one thing you are, it’s real!
Uhm… hmm.
I have mixed emotions reading this, for sure.
Uhm, I just wanted to say that I feel I understand where you’re coming from and I’m sorry that some illusions have been shattered. Just… try to remember that not everyone who shits on you is your enemy and not everyone that helps you out is your friend, you know?
I’ll email you the rest of my comment because I feel dumb commenting here.
Clearly I’m not privy to all that is going on but from the reactions I’ve seen I’m glad. I’ve seen the vague rumblings on twitter and among the blogs but haven’t come across the situation itself. I think you’re exaclty right your opinion of yoruself and knowing who you are is all that truly matters. it does suck though that there seems to be a lot of behind tthe back whispering ala high school gossip. damn shame. i thought the internet was above that.
Here’s the part I care about, honey.
You.
How many times can you go through this without ending up bitter and bruised?
Forver, kid. Bruised, yes.
But not bitter.
Because you don’t have it in you.
I love you.
you once asked why I don’t give the people I claim to really like and care about the power to influence my feelings negatively… now I think you’re seeing it first hand…
I’m new to the blogging thing and only found your blog a little while ago.
I’m glad you’re who you are. That’s me too. I usually figure that if I’ve lived this long without someone who’s acting like an idiot- I can live the rest of my life without missing them.
I love your blog and I hope that you keep writing.
I am so confused– so people bitch about what you write on your blog>>> HMMM— don’t read??? That may be my very simple solution. I read, I hate, I don’t read anymore. How hard is that?
I never know what you “cool kids” are talking about when things get ugly. But I’m glad of that - I like to tell myself that the only people who read my blog are a few friends from college & other places in real life, plus a couple new friends I’ve met through commenting on their mommyblogs. Usually oblivious to the politics simply due to being on the sidelines, that’s me!
I don’t know what happened. And maybe I don’t really feel affected because a lot of the bloggers I read aren’t really “real” to me unless I have conversed with them somehow. Or, you know, fallen asleep on their couch. or in their bed. whatever.
Unfortunately, from real life, i generally expect people to disappoint me. It’s not something I like to admit, being all cheery and positive and all, but I do. In fact, I tend to be very surprised when people turn out to be who they say they are.
I’m glad there are people like you in the world. Because we need your attitude more than mine. Because even though I don’t express it openly (usually) it’s still there.
I would LOVE to know what happened to get so many people riled up (again) but what will probably happen is that I will retreat back to my own little blog and keep writing for ME. Which, if I remember right, is what you do. You write for you. And you are real about it. Fake people don’t post cheerleading videos. So who cares what they do? You can’t make them be “real”. But I’m pretty sure you are. At least, Hilly says you are, and I fell asleep in the same room with her so I know she is…
There are those people who are obviously genuine and real on their blogs.
Those bloggers are different from the people who have a persona or who never write about anything real or personal.
You can’t fault yourself for buying into a carefully crafted character on the web. It happens just as often in the 3d world.
Not liking someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you have reason to be rude to them. There are many people who I don’t particularly care for…. I don’t engage them in conversations, but will reply if approached. I don’t go out of my way to include them in things, but will tolerate their presence.
I don’t think that makes me insincere or somehow two-faced.
I also don’t feel like I’m on some moral high horse here. I’ve been sucked into this quagmire of poo just like everyone else.
And through it all *I* haven’t lost the perspective that there are real people behind these stories, and having been in a position similar to a certain wife in this situation, I can only imagine the humiliation she’s endured the past several weeks.
You put your laundry out on public display, don’t be surprised when everyone laughs at your pink polka-dot panties with the stretched elastic.
I also don’t have a clue what y’all are talking about and I don’t really care.
But I do read your blog every time you post because you represent to me a person who truly lives her life by the “it is what it is” philosophy. As a person who has spent all of her life saying and doing what everyone else expected me to say and do, I admire this virtue in you and am trying my best to learn how to do that.
But, one thing I have learned in my many decades of living is this: if you have high expectations of people, they will always fail to live up to them and you’ll get hurt in the process.
And you can’t question your judgment of people because you shouldn’t be sitting in judgment of anyone except yourself.
I think that you can say and do whatever you want to do and you absolutely have the right and responsibility to do that … as long as you don’t hurt anyone else in the process.
Finally (yep, we’re there) we are all human. Flawed humans, but human nonetheless. We were not meant to be perfect because if we were we would not learn a damn thing.
You should not question your own values and virtues. They are in tact. By the unfortunate mistakes that others make WE become better people and live our lives more appropriately.
Good post. I can’t say that I feel hurt, it didn’t happen directly to me. I can’t say that I feel betrayed, again, it didn’t happen to me. But I can say I feel confused and disappointed in someone who I considered a good person.
Was I wrong about them? Or are they just in a point in their lives where poor choices and a lack of impulse control have taken over? I’ve learned the hard way that I can be a good person and make some poor choices that hurt others. Do I take my friendship away from them or do I just stand here, waiting to see what they need when they return?
It has definitely opened up a can of worms.
I guess I don’t get a lot of what you wrote because I don’t have a blog, but I do understand that things aren’t always as they appear when you only know someone’s “persona” that they wish to share.
But: “I don’t give a FUCK if you like me or not.”
Well, too fucking bad. I like you anyway! Or is that ANYway? No, it doesn’t work if it’s not the first word.
avitable: not only that, I put it IN WRITING!
Fuck. I am OBVIOUSLY traumatized.
Poppy: I will hug the shit out of you babe.
Nobody™:
Aimee Greeblemonkey: yeah, the circumstances of THIS time aren’t really important, because like you said, I don’t think the disappointment and disillusionment is a unique thing.
NYCWD: should I bow now? I feel like I should be bowing.
bluepaintred: I read over 140 blogs according to my feed reader.
I am absolutely not invested emotionally or personally into each one.
A *Friend* I made online has disappointed me. I just want to make that distinction.
And.. yeah.. maybe that’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t *expect* a friend to not be themselves.
Dragon: thanks.
Fantastagirl: I don’t think MOST people suck. But when you get hit by it, it sure as hell can feel like that.
Mary: I hope you’re not serious.
AmyD: I know. I KNOW. I know it’s unrealistic to expect people to be “without flaw”. But shit, at some point there’s a line, isn’t there?
wtfroflmfao: it’s not scary, with most people’s schedules and responsibilities these days, it makes a lot of sense actually.
Just Bob:
maman: amen to both.
Karl: you do. You really do. And when you’re hit with emotions that strong, I think it’s OK to stop and ask WHY YOU CARE so much.
And that’s your answer - because you CARE.
Shelli: you are honey. I don’t think you’d know how to be fake if you had to.
Although you sure as hell can keep a secret.
Captain Steve: um, basically a friend of mine - a friend of a lot of my friends, actually - pulled some shit that surprised the fuck out of all of us.
Tracy: I’m starting to wonder if I’m the only one - that’s real I mean.
Amber: or, “no one is all good and no one is all bad”?
I know. I’m actually really TRYING to remember that right now.
Lady Jaye: yeah, I just kind of feel like I need to draw close the people I trust right now. It’s a comfort thing I think.
Britt’s Mom: well, you would know. ;-) I love you too.
Tori: it’s not like I’ve never seen this before.
I know you’d THINK it was the first time because I’m shocked - but I’m always shocked by it. Always.
But I still don’t regret giving people that “power”.
Amy: if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that I’ll keep writing. It might be total shit - but it will be here. :-)
Connie: um, no - that’s not it at all.
Have you ever had someone you really liked/admired/care for do something that made you wonder if you ever knew them at all?
THAT is what I’m talking about.
Violet The Verbose: I don’t think the “politics” of this situation are unique.
I sure as hell have run into this feeling before. Offline. A lot.
ginamonster: I’m real. I assure you. I just pinched myself to be sure.
jester: no honey, you’re not insecure or two faced at all. As Becky so wisely reminded me, that is the POLITE way to handle it. And it’s how most people have (myself included).
This whole thing threw me so off kilter that I felt like I had to grope around and FEEL what was real all over again. Does that make sense?
Thanks for the call by the way. ;-)
Mattie: I really don’t expect people to be perfect. I don’t. And I’m not the kind of person who says “oh, you fucked up, that’s it - you’re outta here”.
But there are also times where the behavior runs SOOOO against what you would have thought possible from someone, and that kind of shakes you for a moment.
Ya know?
*sigh* I don’t know what the heck you guys are talking about.
But… while online friendships can be valuable for sure… there is a lot of room for deception. You just have to know that going in.
Sodapop: I definitely don’t agree with turning your back on someone because they make a bad choices. (Or a decision you disagree with IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. heh. Ahem. Anyway.)
But I want to know what I’m dealing with too. Not as far as “tell me the details of your life” - but “who the fuck ARE YOU, really?”
Does that make any sense?
Dawn: yeah, it’s the persona thing. I never realize it’s a persona until wayyyyy too far down the road.
hahahahahahahahah @ the rest of your comment.
ANYway. Yeah. ;-)
Em: you make it sound so damn REASONABLE. Jeez.
I am the girl who seeks out the guy in the corner because he seems lonely. I ignore your attempts to back away because I assume you are simply shy. I am confident that if I continue to reach out to you, you will crawl out of your shell and appreciate the human connection.
This is why we are friends! I was the one in the corner, maybe because I thought you were a bunch of honky tonk freaks, but I wouldn’t have known any better if you’d have just let me be!
LOVE you!
There’s a special place in hell for people who front. I keep hoping they’re stuck with Jerry Seinfeld and Rosanne Barr in a locked stand up comedy club, and there’s NO booze.
I haven’t a clue what’s happened (I think I mostly travel in another corner of the blogosphere and intersected with you at Rich’s), but I can tell you from recent experience that the relationships formed via the internet can be very real - for god and bad. I became involved with someone who hurt me deeply, but I’ve also made some wonderful friends.
Just reading this now (Thursday morning). Hoping you are feeling better about whatever it is that happened. SOunds like whomever let you down wasn’t worth having in your life.
Blog friendships are truly friendships by choice. It’s sad that everyday shittiness has crossed over into the blogging world.
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
While the whole thing was a bit wtf? and I don’t know any of them well enough to be floored by it really. Colour me genuinely not interested in other people’s dirty laundry when you take inventory.
Holy shitballs! So, ahem, I try really hard to be non-judgmental and I am not going to start here. And I totally don’t know the whole story, just some of it, but I feel where you are coming from.
And I totally know that you are one of the most real people I have had the chance to meet in my travels.
The thing is, this isn’t the first shake up our little world has seen and it is sure to not be the last, but we really are a microcosm of the outside world with people from EVERY walk of life. So, it makes perfect sense that someone here would do the same thing that someone, potentially, from outside the blogosphere would do (i.e. let you down, hurt you, lie to you, etc. and I AM NOT talking about a singular person, but the group as a whole).
So we do what we do and move forward and it either gets worked out or it doesn’t. That does not mean that we won’t still have these feelings and that it sucks, we will, but eventually we move on.
1. I am not referring to myself in the third person we.
2. I think this explanation sucks, but I typed it all up and I am not erasing all of this work.
I gotta tell you the truth, gotta let it out now. I’m a guy, the boobs are a farce
But seriously, I’m torn up because I’ve been in what could have been a similar situation but luckily it ended very well for me. My world is thrown a little bit by this and luckily I don’t have time to try to make any real sense of it…not that it’s possible.
Wow. How did you NOT win a trip to BlogHer??
you are an inspiration because you do put yourself out there so much. Your post was very … honest, interesting, and totally bang on the money with how many people feel about things.
You worded it so much better than I. I can’t tell you how much I am disappointed that I don’t think I’ll be able to meet you for BrittCon now. *le sigh*
I don’t know what happened but it sounds like it sucks. I’m sorry you guys had to deal with that bullshit.
Like I mentioned the other day… I had to make a really conscious decision, years ago, to just take people at face value. If they choose to portray themselves as one thing, then eventually show their true colours as another.. that isn’t my fault. That makes them the douchebag, not me. It doesn’t mean I won’t be hurt by it - but it does mean that their asshattery has no reflection on me. They were jerks long before I came along and will be jerks long after.
Don’t second guess yourself. You are who you are, chatty and funny and trusting, and that’s what makes you beautiful. If being two faced or backstabby makes someone else who they are.. then so be it.
I also learned to call it like it is. “Hey, Person Who Did Shitty Thing, that was horrible and two faced and awful and no way to treat people. Please feel free to go away.” But I don’t agonize over it anymore. There’s no point.
My problem starts when I find myself between two groups of people who are at each other’s throats yet it so happens I feel some measure of affinity for the people on all the “sides”.
So when I try to write a “welcome to the internet we’re all fucked up” very few folks are capable of getting out of their rant and laughing about how absurd it is.
Someone makes a sideways comment and their toadies strike you from the list. You sit there and don’t know what to say. You say nothing and people read shit into your silence. You try and maintain bridges between yourself and the “camps” and someone is going to see your attempt to maintain your status quo as a negative commentary on one part of one side or the other.
You know what I think, really, there’s been enough moral posturing on both sides to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool and I’d suggest doing what I do in this case; if people strike you from their rolls because of some perceived flaw in their character the best thing to do is let them walk.
Don’t let people who aren’t ready to talk to you about a reasonable explanation live in your head, rent free. Someone’s made up their mind you aren’t worth their precious time, oh well. Somebody thinks you didn’t say something “just right” enough and you didn’t quite pass their test, that’s life.
In the meantime I’m holding on to the folks who know where I’m coming from, and if I’m a little to rough and obvious maybe people need a thicker skin or less of a hair-trigger emotional trigger.
And - regarding the issue at hand - I’m not even a regular in the mix of it; all I see are people I like morphing into definite camps and the social pressure to pick one or the other.
Well, guess what, I pick my friends and this is all anybody needs to know.
Since everyone has kind of written a little bits of anything I would probably write…I too don’t know what exactly went on but I can half-ass’dly figure it out…so I won’t go into detail.
Just want you to know that you as a person, as a blogger, as a another person on the wonderful net… you are REAL, and you PROVE yourself to be real. You only state the truth, you let out your very raw feelings when the need arises, and when someone portrays that, or disappoints you when you absolutely least expect it, it hurts… it hurts bad, especially someone you trusted, enjoyed, thought fondly of.
You’re a great person, every ounce of you… and we love every single minute of your posts, and YOU!
/detail that I said I wasn’t going to get into. Whoops.
Happy Thursday, Britt!
Been there, done that..
and grew through it.
I love your honesty!
Miss Britt … if there’s anything I’ve learned in this life it’s that people are unpredictable to the core.
How many times have you heard (while watching a news report on the boob tube):
“Oh, he was such a wonderful neighbor. Of all the people in the world that I thought would do this horrible crime, HE would be the last one I’d ever think of.”
Not to make the comparison because there is no comparison to an adulterer to a serial killer, but what about the guy who recently was arrested as a serial killer whose wife, pastor, brother, friend, and neighbor all were totally convinced that this guy was an Angel of God himself. And yet when they all showed up at his hearing he admitted to everything right there on the spot.
Just don’t beat yourself up about this event. And never let this change who the essence of what makes up Miss Britt.
Well,
I really would love to know what this Blogging world really is all about…. I do not get this post at all.
Of course I am making assumptions but that’s all I can do.
BTW: Britt, my real name’s NOSY ROSEY!!http://miss-britt.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/sex007.gif
Kristin: and I have not ever ONCE regretted it.
You are a perfect example, actually, of what I’ve been trying to explain to people. You and I have BOTH done shit in our personal lives that the other person might not have been “happy” with, but not ever ONCE did I feel like “shit, I don’t know her at ALL.”
You’ve loved me when I’ve fucked up, because you know my heart and you believed in me. And vice versa.
When you put that kind of faith in someone and find out you maybe don’t know their heart, it hurts.
Marissa: I don’t know if I could say that. I mean, I get that not everyone is capable of letting it all hang out like me, and that’s cool.
But I also don’t want to be lied to.
There’s a difference between guarded and deceptive.
DCup: yeah, they definitely can be real.
Hallie: I have been feeling a lot better since writing this, actually. And since connecting with people who remind me WHY I have so much faith in these relationships in the first place. Thank you. :-)
Karen Sugarpants: you’re so stinking mature woman.
I have also included you on the list as “Woman who makes me feel lazy” and “Woman who would probably have sex with me if I got her drunk enough.”
I hope that’s OK.
ADW: no, and it’s not the first time I’ve encountered this feeling of shock and awe either - it happens in the real world sometimes too.
You would THINK it would get less shocking.
Robin: well, um, can I borrow those puppies when you’re done with them then?
Cissa Fireheart: nope, no BlogHer for me. :-(
And… uh… WTF do you mean you are ditching BrittCon?!?!
zchamu: fucking health ass people. Seriously. ;-)
But, seriously, what you say makes a lot of sense. Especially the “not agonizing over it” part.
RW: yeah, that whole seperate camps thing is tough. And you think you’re doing the right thing, the responsible thing, by looking at people as individuals instead of members of Team This Side or That.
And somehow people seem to miss that. That’s a damn shame.
(But, um, I TOTALLY WON THAT COMMENT THREAD, FUCKER! And I want my prize. Thanks.)
Krystle: well, I think I’ve made it pretty clear on this blog that every ounce of me is NOT a great person. But I appreciate the sentiment just the same. ;-)
Kate: growing here. Growing.
I fucking hate growing. Unless it means I’m getting taller.
Mattie: yeah, that’s true. Good thing is, like I said, it can’t change me I don’t think, even if I wanted it to.
misi: the details of this time don’t matter.
Have you ever felt like you were wrong about someone? Really, really, painfully wrong?
Then you know what it’s about.
Yeah, I really have no idea what happened, but I still love reading you.
That was sappy. Sorry.
Brain. Not. Working.
Okay, since I know this is about much more than just that one situation, I totally understand what you are feeling and why. You cannot imagine how shitty I feel for being the one to just open up to you and lay all of this down at your feet. My intention was not for the glass to shatter around you but just to let you in and wow, I failed.
I know this post isn’t about me but I have to say that last night I broke down and cried over shame in some of my actions as of late. If it helps, I’m the girl who ends up knowing everybody’s secrets but never passing them along…it’s my thing. Because of that, I keep part of my own true nature hidden so that no one else has to be dragged into a world where they too might feel bad about themselves a day later.
So is there a point? Ha! Oh yes, between your post and talking to someone else last night, I’ve come to realize that everyone has these fears and disappointments. We all seem to react differently and I applaud your actions all of the time. You are loved for who you are, not for what people perceive you to be. And that, my friend, is the best way to be.
(sorry for rambling. i obviously have issues today)
Britt - Deep down you know who is real and who isn’t. Your judgment is just a little clouded right now and that’s to be expected.
Britt, “This too shall pass, we love you! screw em!”
I haven’t a clue what the heck is going on and while I love your blog and I check it before I check my bank account and email most mornings (Adams’ site is block EVERYDAY-imagine that! I have to wait for his to be emailed to me), these kind of post always piss me off! Because A) I have no clue what the heck you are talking about and because I’m insecure while at the same time think the world revolves around me and I am always sure you are talking about me - but this time I really have no clue what happened so it can’t be about me and B) You don’t link to anything so that we “as your people” can go burn them at the stake for upsetting “our Britt.” LOL :)
I wrote a post a couple months back entitled:
“You Know You’ve Really Made It As A Blogger When You Start Receiving Hate Mail”
Here’s the link to my story:
http://nfgmemoir.blogspot.com/2008/05/you-know-youve-really-made-it-as.html
I have an online stalker/hater.
This personality has gone far and beyond the realm of what it means to break the human spirit. I have my hunch as to who it may be, but I do not know for sure. In 2004, I had to file a police report because this person was stealing my photos and creating fake online dating accounts on Match.com, JDate.com and Myspace.
It gets worse, because it’s taken on this very personal modicum off-line.
I found this out one day in 2002 while at the gym with my then fiancee. Some random guy walks up to me and says, “Well, well. We finally meet in person.” I did not know this person.
Awkward, sure. Freaked me out, Fuck yea.
The person responsible for luring and deceiving people into their bullshit world of online fantasy stole my pictures they found on my fiancee’s website and created a fake bio, all while parading around online as,…me.
Sick. Twisted. Scary.
As of a day ago, I receive my first ever email from the personality who has been masquerading as me for the past 7 years.
I wonder, is it somebody that I know, I’ve known? Or is it just a completely random screwball who has a vendetta out to damage others because their own psyche is fucked beyond repair.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll probably never know. But the suffering it causes in-between, is total shit.
Britt, I empathize with all the crap you’re dealing with and reeling in now. I know what it feels like to write it all out in hopes that sharing your truth with others brings on that all-cleansing healing power that only you know best.
You’ve got a listening ear in me and and I applaud you for living your honesty out loud in what is clearly a STANDING ROOM ONLY audience.
Screw the haters. They hate themselves and they project their hatred to those of us who are proud-to-be-ourselves-no-matter-how-many-things-in-life-attempt-to drag-us-down. They are scared to live their true life selves because they are petrified of what they see.
They’re weak human beings whose evil destroys the ultimate human connection that rules the goodness in this world.
We’re so much better than that.
xo,
Nic
I think in any situation, people only show you the person that they want you to see them as. And that’s no always who they are–it’s usually who they wish to be.
The people you’ve formed real relationships with, those you’ve talked to about problems and frustrations, cried with, laughed with, those are your real friends — whether they live around the corner or across the ocean.
Oh! Hey Britt? What’s a troll??? I’m so serious.
I’m still in the “just for kicks” phase of blogging. It hasn’t gotten real for me, and I’m not sure that I want it to be. I’ve made some decent bloggy friends over the past couple of years, but when I think about my real relationships…they just don’t make the cut.
Maybe I distance myself on purpose. I do it in real life too, but on the Interwebs I really go the whole nine yards. No pics, no real name, even a semi-fake email. I do that on purpose. But that doesn’t mean that I’m trying to pull one over on anyone. On the contrary. I’m more “real” here (well not HERE) than I am in the world very often.
I dunno. I dunno what the situation is that is hurting you, but I do feel bad that it is affecting you (and others) this way. The only thing you can do is keep on being yourself, knowing that in any circle of friends there is going to be disappointment and hurt. You just have to rock on.
I think that blogging in a since is kinda like high school. There is the cool group that everyone wants to be in and then there are the people that everyone talks about behind there back and make fun of.
You my dear have a lot of readers that adore you and with that comes the people that just want to stir the shit up and cause problems for you because of jealousy, or something is just off in their head.
It seems to be human nature for some people to want to hurt people rather than help. I don’t understand why if you don’t like someone you would frequent their blog and cause problems.
I have very few readers which is fine by me and yet I still have the ones who come along just to be mean and hurtful. I don’t get it either.
I hate growing too.
And when I mentioned growing I wasn’t trying to tell you to grow up or that you need to grow.. just saying I have grown - and yeah it sucks.
However once you’re on the other side and past the shit, it’s pretty decent.
At least I think so.
I think I just have a “wow” feeling still parading through my thoughts. It just makes me more guarded with online interactions and makes me question the authenticity of everything I read. (As I probably always should have) I would like to believe that most bloggers keep it real and for the most part, the ones I’ve met in person are in fact very real…but having to put my guard up…makes me sad.
Surprisingly, it was my real-life friends who taught me all about that. Over the years, I’ve learned how to fend off the drama. Part of it is a touch of cynicism but it doesn’t make me any less open and friendly.
I fluctuate between extreme shyness and being incredibly loud and obnoxious; whatever mode I’m in, I will always appreciate people like you, Britt. My husband is like that and it’s part of why I married him. (His dashing good looks are the primary reason, of course.)
So fuck the haters. Keep your trusted people close and appreciate them for not being assholes.
People never cease to amaze me - good and bad.
That’s all I’ve got!
Oh - and I like you. I do! I think you’re awesome.
I totally missed something….because I have NO clue what has happened to the blogosphere, but all of the blogs that I frequent consistently are talking about a big, bad blowup.
Part of me wants to know what happened REALLY BAD….but the other part wants to remain happily in the dark.
Britt, I don’t know if the explosion was directed at you or another blogger, but I can tell you from my own perspective that I enjoy reading your blog immensely…because you put it out there…the good, the bad, and the ugly…I respect and admire that about you :)
The longer you love people, the higher the stakes. Therefore, I’m always very careful with my dice.
Don’t know what the heck is going on but I’ve drawn my own conclusions that I’m sure my overactive imagination has blown into much worse proportions than they are in reality.
That being said, I don’t want to know really because then the situation will never die, everyone here would grab their torches and pitchforks and open a few kegs of whoopass for being a lying douche.
However, I hate when people wind up being the exact opposite of what you always thought they were. It’s like having your innocence shattered all over again…and again…and again. People will always disappoint you. I’m just glad that today is one of your “well adjusted” days and that this hasn’t thrown you into a tailspin (too much).
Just draw those people on your “genuine” list closer and revel in the fact that somewhere in this world, real people who really care and aren’t out to be something that they aren’t, love you for being you, left wing politics and all (lol). Keep on waving your Miss Britt flag cuz you’re pretty damned awesome.
“People will always disappoint you.” By ‘people’ I didn’t mean all people you come across, btw. I meant that in general you will always come across someone who will.
*whew*
And I am hoping that, now, anyone who reads that post at my place you believe you won will understand - perhaps in a little more context - what i was on about. I think the people who played happen to actually BE the cool kids, fyi.
Once again when I become way more occupied with my offline life than online, I lose track of what’s going on and check in to find that somewhere (and I never know where!) there has been some big blow up or shake up or drama of some kind and I sit by on the sidelines clueless about what is going on and wondering who it is that I shouldn’t trust anymore.
I’ve always considered myself more of a cynic when it comes to trusting people. I keep them at arms distance and that’s the number one reason I don’t make “real life” friends easily. But every once in a while I put myself out there and about half the time I find out that I should have held that cynicism a little closer that time because it turns out that the person wasn’t who I thought they were.
I’m sorry you’ve been disillusioned. Sheila is right I think. There will always be someone who will disappoint you. The gift is to be able to get past it without becoming a cynic like me.
I can’t add anything about the trouble going on because I’m not a part of it. I do want to say that part of the reason I am drawn to your blog is your trusting nature. You are grown up enough to know that people have flaws and will let you down, yet you still hold on to the your youthful trusting nature. You don’t let the hurt you felt from this person influence how you treat the next person you meet.
I do hope for your sake you never become one of the bruised, bitter people with many walls up. Speaking from experience, it’s a lonely world and those walls do not shatter easily.
You are absolutely right (in regards to your response to my comment). I didn’t quite mean it like that it was more in reference to the mass judgment being passed around.
I don’t see your post as being that way, or expecting perfection of people. I get your point. Someone did something that you could not imagine them capable of. And, I don’t see this as you being a crappy friend to them as some stupid people have claimed.
Friends are not something that is a forever thing in that sense. If you found out one of your buddies from high school was a pedophile could you still be friends with them?
I don’t consider this situation to be like THAT. But, the point is, it took you by surprise and made you reassess that relationship.
Thank God you use your brain for what God intended it. Right?
I mean you could just be some really stupid person who says that the only bad thing someone can do is cheat on their spouse.
Wow, there is a lot I could say about the situation, but I don’t want to publicly, so I will just keep it to myself. (Or if you really want to know, you can email me at that non-published email address.)
I don’t really think it matters that it was a friend forged on the internet. I have been betrayed by friends I have met at school, by someone who I thought was a friend at work, etc, etc. I think it has helped me see who is being true to themselves and who is just putting up a facade, but sometimes I am still fooled.
But I have faith and hope. And I know there are people out there that are real and true to themselves. There are some blogs out there that you can tell people are putting up a false face. I know that I try to be true and honest on my blog, but realistically, I know that isn’t true for everyone.
I’m so confused. Now I have to go back and read ALL your comments on your last post to see if that gives me a clue.
But without getting in to too much crap, I agree with SO many people here. I’m real. I read you because you are real, and I love your honesty, NO MATTER WHAT THE TOPIC!!!!! My favorite phrase of all time is still “Big Fat Fatty McFatty”. See, you should have copy-righted that cause I use it all the time now!
I feel like I’m not making sense cause I don’t know what happened, but just wanted to say, “I’M HERE AND I’M REAL!”
Believe it or not this is the second time I’ve seen this type of situation happen here in Blogland. But, in this situation I’m more on the outside looking in. The first one happened to my friend. “Friend” meaning someone I know online and have never actually met in person, but someone I do actually know fairly well anyway. If that makes any sense.
I don’t know if I’m less shocked because this time because I didn’t really know the people involved and therefore didn’t really have any expectations about those people or because I’ve already seen it happen once. Probably a little of both.
Anyway, I think that taking people at face value and not always expect the worst though. I try to be that way, but I’m not always successful at it.
Is it time for wine yet?
My ex-boyfriend once told me I was too trusting. That was before he cheated on me. Yet, I still assume people are inherently good and mean well, despite having evidence to the contrary numerous times. I’d rather go through life trusting and getting hurt than mistrusting and being suspicious of everyone. It doesn’t make it any easier when you find out someone you trusted wasn’t deserving of that trust unfortunately…
I think your mom’s comment rocks, btw.
i thought for sure though that you thought i was a saint? ;)
having said that, two things:
first, the people who come here and render general support and give “assvice”, though maybe annoying on some level, really do just love you and want to be around you. you know that right? sometimes it seems you disdain these people, but i think they are your friends, or that they want to be, and that this is their way of “showing up” for you. more to the point, if i happen to come across as generically offering support or advice, i hope you don’t roll your eyes — because i really do care about you.
second, i have to say that i don’t think it’s wrong to trust people. i don’t think it should be earth-shattering when others inevitably let you down (and they usually always do). i think trust is a good, healthy trait. i also think it’s okay when we’re disappointed by other people’s actions — that’s healthy too. but we’re all human, we all make mistakes, no one can ever cast the first stone (though the haters out there love to do just that — see my recent post as to why i find that SO distasteful).
i don’t think we should take away our love or affection from people just because they’ve done something we don’t like or approve of. and no one knows what goes on beyond closed doors, either. and sometimes in a person’s life, they flip out; they become completely unhinged, losing their orientation and fucking all their shit up. i’ve done it enough times to know that it happens, and i don’t think i’m untrustworthy or unredeemable. i guess what i’m saying is that i think it’s all right to have sympathy for all involved. except for the haters and the trolls — they don’t deserve it.
RW needs to be given the “official voice of the internet” award. Who’s holding that currently? Dooce?
(*duck*)
I’m sincere in saying, those were some great words, RW. And very helpful in this situation.
Karen Sugarpants: you’re so stinking mature woman.
— no, no I’m not. I just farted and giggled my ass off.
I have also included you on the list as “Woman who makes me feel lazy” and “Woman who would probably have sex with me if I got her drunk enough.”
– you’re not lazy, you’re motivationally challenged. Quit fucking smoking and that should help. *ducks*
– and yeah, I’d have sex with you but I’d have to ask my husband first - and he’s a fuddy duddy about the lesbian thing. Surprising, I know.
Hey Britt,
I have followed you and several others for about a year. I don’t usually leave alot of comments because a)I’m not always sure what to say (i.e. will I sound like an idiot) and b) I can see that there is a “community” here and I feel on the outside because I don’t blog.
I thought about starting one, but asked myself what would I write about? What do I have to offer?
I finally decided I would try. In fact I just put my first post out there yesterday. I figured I’d give it a go; first to see if I could and second to hopefully meet some great people; please just not the scary one(s) you and others are referring to.
Linda~
And P.S. Listen to your mother, she’s right!
Linda~
Isn’t it effing great when the universe says “and you thought you were DONE with high school?? hahahahahahah, well have some fun with this!!”? :)
I think we all go through this from time to time, a curve ball gets thrown and we’re left to wonder “holy shit, what else was I wrong about?” Kinda sucks, but at least it gives you a reason to reaffirm what you believe and who you are :)
I can SO relate to what you’re feeling right now. It’s ironic that you posted this because I had just started writing about something similar that happened to me.
A few years ago my perspective about “meeting” people on the Internet changed based on a personal experience I had with someone whom I consider to be so completely fake now. It’s unfortunate that I allow that one incident to cloud my judgment of others now but I feel the need to protect myself.
I know you’re disappointed but you will get past this. Cheer up!
All I got is HOLYFUCKINGWOW!
The pain, the joy, the confusion, the hatred, the happiness…..too many damn emotions together….too much drama…as much as it may hurt you to be “deceived”…let them work it out..or not…but be you, and be there for the real friends.
And just keep being you!
Well that just bites. It’s too bad what happened is making you wary of your bloggy peeps. I’ve had that sort of thing happen irl but not online. Yet. I’m sorry for the hurt and hope you can move past it knowing lots of us genuinely like you.
Drama. I hate drama. (Not clue about this drama though.) In life and online, I find it hard to tell the good from the insane too. Alas. There are a lot of crazies out there.
Honey, you know, even really good people do stupid shitty things sometimes.
And the rotten fuckers are capable of pulling off a nice one once in a while.
It’s OK. You aren’t blind.
Puppies and kitties, honey. Puppies and kitties
OK, here goes. I hate that all this drama is making you question your trust in others. Since jumping feet first into blogging last August, I’m constantly surprised by how well I think I have a bead on someone and how utterly wrong I turn out to be and I have to keep reminding myself that I really don’t know that person/those people, because I may never that person well enough to truly KNOW them. I just hope that I’m there to help pick up the pieces if they need me. And if I’m not needed, then I hope help was found somewhere.
Now, as far as commenting nicely and only ever commenting nicely, it’s because I hate conflict. Typically, if I see a blog post that pisses me off or disagrees with my lunch, I run in the other direction. I just absolutely hate conflict. I get enough of it at home with my mother and my mother’s and father’s families that I just don’t need it here in blogverse and I don’t need to start any. So, if you ever write a post that I don’t respond to, assume I’m either off the grid (fucking Bellsouth), dead, or disagreeing in my kitchen and cussing at the coffee mug. That’s just me.
And? Still love you. Never have lied to you. Never will. Thanks for being honest with us.
Fuck. I can’t type today. Third line should read, “because I may never KNOW that person” - forgot a whole friggin’ word. Ish.
you wrote, “And while not One Single Word or Act was directed at me, it’s left me feeling unsteady and lost.”
one of the things i love about you is that you feel. really FEEL. you have a wonderful way of taking a situation, dissecting it, analyzing it and putting it out here for us to think about.
right now i really don’t wanna comment on “the” situation and i am still struggling with how i feel about it all, but i hope you know that i value your thoughts and opinions. i just can’t give any advice on how to deal with being let down by friends. coz it sucks. vast amounts of suckage. sigh.
Yes, puppies and kitties!!! Your mom is so wise!
Just so you know this is rather painful for those of us who have no idea WHAT HAPPENED…. especially for those of us that are too curious for our own good. This is my 3rd time here today just reading through the comments hoping somebody will reveal what exactly happened. Somebody give me a clue… just a small clue.
What did I miss?? What did I miss?? I’m so confused. Who do we need to go toes with? (I’m pulling my earrings out right now.)
(OK, so I’m not wearing earrings. But if I were, I’d so be pulling them out right now.)
Em, go to Karl’s comment #14. Click his name and go to his blog. He’s got the story.
*waves* Incredibly busy lately, with no free time at all, but still resoundingly in your corner, chica. I hope you guys are well. I also hope to get together again soon..ish. You know how it goes.
My friends call it ‘radar’ and unfortunately I was born without one. What you show me is what I think you are, and when that turns out to be false, I am crushed….and I get made fun of for being ‘naive’. Everyone tells me “you have no radar” like I’m never supposed to be surprised when someone I feel I know well hurts me or acts so foreign. I flounder, I stew on it…and I have very few people to bounce it off it that really understand what I’m saying.
I’ve tried to put a guard up on here. I have boundaries. I guess that puts my blog in a very esoteric catagory, or maybe even fake. But I don’t want to get hurt…I’ve become very slow to trust due to some events. I spew what’s one my mind, and I’m honest…but nobody knows me either. Few if any pictures, and my family is NOT involved.
Of course, if we are slow to trust and love….and are afraid to show who we are…..how will anything really awesome ever happen to us?
We’ve all been given a wad of cud to chew recently with this THING…
.
But you’ve given me quite a bit to think about - in a constructive way
Trust shouldn’t always be a concrete thing because we’re all human, flawed and prone to mistakes. It should be more of an elastic thing or to use Jester’s eloquent analogy, elastic to the point that it’s stretched out… but not snapped. Everyone’s place where the elastic snaps is different. I tend to give people long rope in order for there to be room for disappointments and mistakes and things I don’t agree with. I wasn’t made that way, but I’ve grown that way, because in almost 48 years of living, I’ve seen a lot of freaky, astonishing things happen between people. I understand why people are upset and disappointed, but all I can really do is think about how awful those 3 people must feel today.
BTW, Jester… did you have to tell the world you only tolerate me? ;) HEH.
From the sounds of it I’m glad the only real readers I have are family and I must live under a rock. This whole thing passed by my radar.
This too shall pass Britt. On-line is what it is. I think that every time I tell my child that the person on the other end of the screen could be ANYONE. Trust nothing and no one on-line. Sad but true. There are too many manipulators out there.
Your Mom said ‘fuckers.’ That’s awesome.
I’ll call you anytime. Now that you’re programmed in my phone and I’m in the car all the time you’re gonna get called more than you want.
And Winter - I would never name names of those I merely tolerate. But if I did, your name would not be on that list.
Okay I ran out of patience so I didn’t read ALL the comments :) But I wanted to say that you’re not the only one. As I told my fiance after a particularly disturbing betrayal by a friend, it doesn’t make you a bad person or a stupid person to trust someone.
As for never seeing it until it’s too late…I think it’s easier to fool people than most of us realize. Unfortunately, just as the cost of having loved ones is that sometimes you have to handle the pain of losing them…the cost of having friends is that sometimes you have to handle this sort of thing. Personally I’d rather keep making friends and deal with the consequences than not have any at all…even if it IS scary.
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for being that person who will no matter what reach out to the kid sitting on her own in the corner. Because I am often that kid, I am incredibly shy and find it quite hard to work up the courage to talk to other people. I equate it to growing up with out many friends (except those I’ve made on the internet). So thanks for only knowing how to be you. You are awesome.
Stay exactly how you are. I admire someone like you that sees the good in everyone. I happen to be the opposite. It takes SO much for me to trust people because a lot of the ones I’ve dealt with, well, suck. I have become somewhat bitter though to those I do trust, I will give them all of me.
WOW! I obviously have no idea what the real issue is that has this part of the blog world up in arms but just wanted to say it is always better to believe and trust someone until they prove they are unworthy of your trust. Otherwise you just end up bitter and ugly.
Some people are really good at putting masks on and pretending to be something they are not but eventually their true self will show and then you have to decide whether you still like them or not.
I’m very curious about the magnitude of this incident and wonder whether my imagination makes it better or worse.
I’m glad I haven’t had to deal with the big bad internet in the same way. It is pretty easy when you only have a dozen or so people reading. I guess this is the price you pay for blog fame.
I hope your feeling better after getting all the love and support from these 100+ comments.
I’ve been reading your blog for a long time but rarely comment although I had to put in my two cents on this one.
You are always open and honest and write about how you feel and I think that is why so many people stop by to see what is happening in the Life of Miss Britt. Don’t ever stop being who you are. Rock on with your bad self :)
P.S. This whole thing made me think of a song by Shannon Curfman …. “You’re Gonna Find Out Who Your True Friends Are” or maybe it is just called “True Friends.”
I feel for you. I used to be a trusting person, too, until someone I loved lied to me. A part of my soul was forever broken that day.
I am not sure what I make of the “situation” but I really understand how you feel. Sometimes I actually think about giving up the blogosphere because there tends to more drama here than in the real world. But I have made many friends and I cherish them deeply. There is always good and bad in everything.
There are major life lessons we learn throughout life. There are the obvious ones, like, don’t let your boyfriend go down on you after he ate jalapeños, and the not so obvious ones.
For me, a huge not-so-obvious lesson that I am still struggling with is that other people aren’t like me. I think we tend to project our expectations for ourselves on to other people. I think it’s why cheaters are so jealous and convinced they are being cheated ON. They are doing it, so you must be capable of the same. If you are an honest person, you just assume other people are like you, and that’s why it is so crushing when someone proves to be something different that what you perceived. It’s why we simply can’t believe our best friends slept with our boyfriend, or why we are so shocked when someone we trust steals something from us.
It just sucks, and it’s hard.
A Whole Lot of Nothing: LOL, well thanks. I really wasn’t worried about people not loving me. Just not being what I had hoped they were. Or something.
Hilly: sweetheart, I am so, so grateful for you letting me in. YOU didn’t shatter any glass around some world.
And if you had - shit, do you really want to let me live in a glass bubble? I’m OK. I’m not that damn fragile. :-)
Tracy: yeah, I hope you’re right. And tonight I feel much more grounded than I did last night. Much.
Janelle: I’m sorry. I know how annoying cryptic posts are. The thing is, posts like these are usually about more than one “incident” to link to - it’s about how that same idea plays out in the REST of life.
I always think if I DON’T link, that people will see the bigger picture.
It NEVER works that way. LOL
N. Francesca: I am in absolute fucking awe that you’ve had to go through this.
Luckily, I’m pretty sure no one wants to steal my life. ;-)<