Proof that I am perfectly normal. No. Really.

by Miss Britt on June 28, 2008

You know that meme where you’re supposed to list [insert random # here] things about yourself that are “random” or “quirky”?

That meme that everyone’s done a million times and every single time you see it you want to stab yourself in the eyeballs and say I READ YOUR BLOG EVERY FUCKING DAY! GOOD LUCK COMING UP WITH SHIT I DON’T ALREADY KNOW!

You know. That one.

Sodapop has asked that I do it for you. In other words, blame her.

Internets, I give you SIX RANDOM QUIRKY THINGS ABOUT ME!

…..

Hmmm….

It seems that in my quest to keep it real, I may have already told you a hell of a lot of weird random shit about me. Did I mention I pee with the – oh. Yep.

Uhh…

Internets! I give you!

SIX RANDOM AND NOT AT ALL QUIRKY THINGS ABOUT ME THAT PROVE THAT I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL.

1. I watch Prime Time Network TV. Sitcoms, dramas, reality TV. All of it. I can tell you who won America’s Next Top Model, who is sleeping with who this season on Grey’s Anatomy, and exactly what is so funny about According To Jim.

I am middle America.

2. My boobs are totally and completely average. I don’t have to worry about men staring at my chest. I don’t make jokes about how difficult it is to run. And no one has ever tried to get me to take my shirt off in public.

They’re just boobs. Seriously.

3. I wear whatever underwear is clean. Sometimes that means they are lacy and pretty. Sometimes that means they are strappy and sexy. And sometimes that means they are cotton bikini briefs with an over stretched elastic waist band.

I am way past the point in my life where anyone gives a crap about my “panties”.

4. I read my kids a bedtime story if there’s time. Some nights we read books on the couch for a half an hour before bed. Some nights we race through one book, skipping pages with too many words. Some nights we skip the books all together and just sing “You Are My Sunshine” twice just before we shut off the light. And some nights you can hear me holler “I mean it! Go. to bed!”

If anyone ever makes a movie about me, I hope to God it’s not about my parenting.

5. I double dip. If you don’t know what that means, you probably do too. If you know what that means and you do it anyway – good for you! And if you’re one of those people who freaks the fuck out if someone takes a bite out of a chip and then redips in the community container…

Chill. Seriously. I’m not putting cooties in your fucking french onion dip.

6. I have a point and click camera that comes with no extra lenses and a very skinny owner’s manual. The pictures I take are “meh”. The pictures you take with those fancy schmancy Look How Cool I Am With My F-Stop and ISOP Adjuster Button Cameras – are admittedly awesome.

And the day I become a professional photographer is the day I can see my husband agreeing to spend the $500+ it takes to get one.

What’s totally normal and average about you?

Popularity: 2% [?]

Posted in Miss Britt - stories, memes and random facts about me Tagged: , , , , , , ,

45 Comments so far

  1. Anonymous June 28, 2008 12:06 am

    :lmao: :lmao:

    Reply

  2. Anonymous June 28, 2008 12:06 am

    :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :secret: :lmao:

    Reply

  3. Just Me June 28, 2008 12:08 am

    Yeah, so, whats totally normal and average about me??? Im a single mom with two kids who has to pack for nine days leaving tomorrow at 9 am and sitting here stalking..i mean reading blogs…..is that normal and average?

    Well, Im drinking too…. :martini:

    Reply

  4. Krystle June 28, 2008 12:10 am

    Bwahaha…love the french onion blurb…so true, double dip schmubble dip, it’s not going to kill you… :)

    Reply

  5. sizzle June 28, 2008 12:11 am

    Normal and average?

    Every morning I poo.

    Reply

  6. Amanda June 28, 2008 12:18 am

    No, seriously. What is so funny about According to Jim?

    Reply

  7. Jen June 28, 2008 12:20 am

    Yes, my pictures are awesome with my fancy schmancy Pentax camera! thanks for noticing! :rock: :D

    Reply

  8. Sybil Law June 28, 2008 12:30 am

    I am unique, and special.
    My mom says so.
    So are you.
    So there.
    :nana:

    Reply

  9. Lucy June 28, 2008 12:30 am

    I **might** be a “double dipper” too. **might**

    Reply

  10. Jay June 28, 2008 12:39 am

    I think you should just post a pic of your boobs and let US decide is they are average or not.

    According to Jim is supposed to be a comedy? ;-)

    Reply

  11. Sarah June 28, 2008 12:49 am

    I double dip too. But that’s mostly because I horde the dip and the chips, and pretty much all the good food.
    What’s normal about me? I pay way too much for college. Doesn’t everybody?

    Reply

  12. Stephanie June 28, 2008 12:49 am

    I’m average because:
    1. I love reality tv. (Shut UP Adam) :nana:
    2. I love pizza. :peace:
    3. I overspend. :help:
    4. I love sex. :blush:
    5. I doubt myself on a daily basis. :wtf:
    6. I pee with the door open, too. :secret:
    Wait…that’s not the “average”? :slaphead: Oh…well…

    Reply

  13. Stephanie June 28, 2008 12:50 am

    Oh yes, and I am average because I like playing with smilies. :clap:

    Reply

  14. AmyD June 28, 2008 12:58 am

    Oh good God. Like I need to tell YOU what is average about me. :slaphead:

    Reply

  15. MarkAntony June 28, 2008 1:16 am

    1. That explains a lot…no really.
    2. How is that a quirky fact? Most women think their boobs are average. Why do you think plastic surgeons are raking it in. You’ve seen nip tuck I’m sure.
    3. Again, you are a married woman….how is this quirky at all?
    4. It’s more than most parents do. Kudos here.
    5. Ok gross.
    6. Again how is this quirky. You aren’t a photographer, big deal. You have a crappy camera, so does most of the picture taking world.

    Pointless post.

    Reply

  16. Selma June 28, 2008 1:29 am

    Calm down there, Mark Antony. Sheesh.

    Normal and average? I apply sunblock daily, even in winter. (It gets pretty sunny in Oz.) I go to the loo with the door open if I know no one is around. I double dip if no one is looking. I steal candy from those huge candy displays in K-Mart. (just one or two pieces.) I mutter to myself occasionally.

    Reply

  17. Y2K Survivor June 28, 2008 1:35 am

    I watch HGTV home improvement shows and wish I had that much energy

    I watch the Deadliest Catch and am thankful for my desk job

    Sometimes I watch Kathy Griffin and think, Sheesh I’m funnier than that! Sometimes I watch it and think… Wow I never would have thought of that.

    I have two dogs, two kids, two cars but only one wife… and that srikes me as uneven… maybe even unfair.

    I don’t speak a second language and I aint gunna learn one

    Reply

  18. Dee June 28, 2008 2:01 am

    MarkAntony: read a little closer. It says very clearly (and in capitals even) “NOT AT ALL QUIRKY THINGS” But nice try. Tell us again why you’re here?

    As for why I’m average: I own way too many gadgets that I don’t know how to use properly, I always forget what to do when I aquaplane, I have to look up how to check whether eggs are fresh and I like to read about other people’s lives :)

    Reply

  19. CP June 28, 2008 4:43 am

    I totally care about the panties you wear. I obsess over it. That’s whats normal and average about me too. Go figure.

    Reply

  20. CP June 28, 2008 4:44 am

    Um, why did my post show up blank???

    I guess I was a bad girl again.

    Reply

  21. libragirl/Rachel June 28, 2008 5:39 am

    I am not at all quicky because I hate my job and am looking for a new one, I go to the bathroom with the door open, I adore the kids and read to them and will say – no one book because I’m tired.

    Reply

  22. hello haha narf June 28, 2008 8:03 am

    just like the little prince’s rose, i am unique in all the world.

    (uniquely fucked up. we all are. that is why i enjoy people so much!)

    Reply

  23. elfenkate June 28, 2008 8:10 am

    Double Dipping. I try not to, but yes. It happens sometimes.

    My averageness? To much internet :)

    Reply

  24. Britt's Mom June 28, 2008 8:13 am

    What’s normal and average about me?

    Uh…I look at what someone is wearing and say “Wow that’s cute!” and then go back to my jeans and T-shirts.

    I refer to myself as “Mommy” when I’m talking to my puppies.

    I love my job – and sometimes have to drag myself there by my fingernails.

    How’s that?

    Reply

  25. Heather June 28, 2008 8:26 am

    How apropos. I’ve just been introduced to your blog (by Cissa) and so far… LOVE IT!

    What’s normal/average about me??

    Before getting into bed every night, I have to make sure the sheets & blankets are perfect. I basically make the bed right before jumping in. It irks me to get into a disheveled bed.

    Yeah, I don’t quite get it either.

    Oooo – - say Hi to Cissa for me. I still might come down… trying to anyway.

    Reply

  26. avitable June 28, 2008 8:40 am

    Britt didn’t mention that it took her almost two hours to come up with this short list of things that weren’t weird. :lmao:

    Reply

  27. Blondefabulous June 28, 2008 9:04 am

    :o mg: You’re NOT quirky and weird??? OMG, I am so totally disillusioned!

    I’m normal because I get out of bed every morning and live life….just like everyone else. Does that qualify??

    Reply

  28. Stephanie June 28, 2008 9:29 am

    What’s average about me…I’m a hair dye addict. Maybe addict is too strong, but I started in 6th grade and haven’t looked back since. Now I’ve dyed my hair so much I’m not sure what the natural color is, so I just play around in reddish browns because I’m sure it’s somewhere close.

    (also–number #6? I feel you. I was ALL excited because Sean got me a really nice point and shoot camera for Christmas, and then two months later I discovered the fancy schmancy SLR or whatever and all of their lenses, and ever since then I’ve been dropping hints, and he just laughs at me. There is no way in hell my ass is EVER owning a camera that’s $500 plus.)

    Reply

  29. Finn June 28, 2008 11:18 am

    Overstock.com. You can find a fancy schmacy SLR camera there for cheaper. It’s an INVESTMENT. Christmas is coming… eventually.

    Reply

  30. Mrs. Schmitty June 28, 2008 11:43 am

    I double dip too. If you care, then don’t eat it…more for me, I say!

    Reply

  31. Mindy June 28, 2008 12:13 pm

    I am also a double dip offender. My sister on the other hand will not drink from a cup that even one of her own children took a sip from. THAT is weird.

    Reply

  32. Mrs. Fussypants June 28, 2008 12:27 pm

    Are we long lost sisters? Dude, I could have written that.

    xoxo, Alli

    Reply

  33. jewelz June 28, 2008 12:38 pm

    Normal and average aren’t usually words that are used to describe me….typically words like weird, goofy, neurotic, annoying, blah blah blah. However….what IS normal and average for me (I think) is that I wash my jumbo sack of M&Ms down with a Diet Coke because doing that? totally negates the calories of the M&Ms….my mom told me so.

    Reply

  34. katie schwartz June 28, 2008 1:25 pm

    Your parenting skills sound quite gritty and real to me. I dig it.

    Fab blog. Will definitely be back.

    Reply

  35. AmyD June 28, 2008 2:58 pm

    Ok Britt, seriously, it’s time to block this ‘tard MarkAntony. It’s clear that he/she is in too much of a hurry to comment rather than actually read your post.

    MarkAntony – her post was on things that WEREN’T quirky. Geeezus. Get a life already. Or is all this blatant obsession with Britt some fantasy that she is your Cleopatra, huh?

    That must be it… you :heartbeat: :heartbeat: Britt, don’t you? :lol:

    Reply

  36. Coal Miner's Granddaughter June 28, 2008 3:06 pm

    Dude, seriously? You don’t always wear lacy, strappy panties?

    Humfph. You better wear nothing but lacy, strappy knickers while you’re here.

    I’m just sayin’.

    Oh, and MarkAntony? Fuck off.

    Reply

  37. Lisa June 28, 2008 4:03 pm

    What’s normal and average for me? To email people named MarkAntony when they post their email address for me so I can get my concerns answered.

    Unfortunately MarkAntony was too afraid to respond and I didn’t even curse.

    Also normal and average to me? Nausea and fatigue. I’ll be glad when I no longer have to feel like that.

    Reply

  38. Evil Genius June 28, 2008 7:32 pm

    I don’t think I’ve ever had a day or a time in my life where I thought that I was normal and/or average.

    Which is probably exactly what makes me normal/average.

    :peace:

    Reply

  39. Winter June 28, 2008 10:07 pm

    Motley’s dad is a professional photog. The year he bought his first pro digital camera I bitched him out about his taxes because he had the cost of the camera in the wrong place. Now, if he’d spent $500 on a camera it would have been okay where it was. However, I learned that year that a professional quality Canon digital camera will set you back $22K. And he was whining that he’d only gotten 3 lenses when he really needed about 5 more. $22K is a capital expenditure. Especially for a professional photog. If you ever get to that point call me and I’ll tell you where to put the cost on your tax form. :wink:

    Reply

  40. MarkAntony June 28, 2008 11:24 pm

    You sure you sent it to the right address Lisa? concernedinsrq@gmail.com. I haven’t received anything from you or I would have responded.

    Reply

  41. DaDuck June 30, 2008 3:49 am

    Nothing average about me. Everything is XXL including my boobs! :nana:

    Reply

  42. Queen of Shake Shake June 30, 2008 8:37 am

    Almost everything is normal and average about me.

    Reply

  43. Robina June 30, 2008 12:53 pm

    Wow! We are alike! According to Jim is the FUNNIEST

    Reply

  44. Robina June 30, 2008 12:54 pm

    I don’t know what the hell happened up there.

    But, I love America’s Top Model, but I love watching Ghost Hunters, Ghostly Encouters, Psycic Investigators, Dog Whisperer (boy do I have a crush), and most HGTV programs.

    But yea, I have been asked, and I have flashed. What can I say? Teguila will do that to ya, but you know that, right??

    Reply

  45. martymankins June 30, 2008 6:44 pm

    I stare at Flickr photos of your chest… is that ok? :cheese:

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Totally Normal « Wafelenbak! June 28, 2008 11:41 am
  2. Gadget October 12, 2008 9:56 am

Leave a Comment

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Comments

More Blog Posts

Related Post:What's in a name?