Greeneyezz tagged me damn near a week ago. For the record? I hardly ever do memes. There is far too much angst going on in my daily life to have time for memes! I am terribly, terribly important.
Unless, of course, you happen to say something like “MissBritt - Have read your blog, but didn’t get the chance to meet you at TeqCon. However, a few of the posts I’ve read has left me with a feeling of you being an ‘old soul’.”
Then I will meme the shit out of you. And also answer your questions…
What does true love mean to you?
By “old soul” do you think she meant “totally flailing about in the wind about this exact thing right now and won’t it be fun to watch her squirm“? Bitch.
In my head, I like to think that true love is this once in a life time You Know When You Know phenomenon. I imagine rainbows and fireworks and clicking and perfection. I think of phrases like The One and Meant To Be.
But I’m not so sure that’s true. “True” love implies that there is “less than true” love. And I think that’s probably bullshit.
I think love is pure and strong and lovely. And changing. And really, really hard in real life.
How do you know if you’re really in love?
When you find yourself consumed with their happiness instead of your own. And that’s OK, because you find out that one doesn’t come at the exclusion of the other.
How many times in your life have you fallen in love?
I think twice. It’s possible I would have fallen a third time, if I had allowed myself to wander that far down the rabbit hole.
Have you ever fell out of true love because you were mad in the moment?
Absolutely not. Love is not fleeting like lust or anger. It doesn’t come and go as quickly as a moment.
Do you feel love and physical attraction are the same thing?
Absolutely not. You can be physically attracted to someone without loving them. I also think that it is possible to love someone without being overcome with physical attraction.
I need to believe that’s true.
If your true love became ill or disfigured would you continue to love them the same way?
Of course not. I would continue to love them, but not in the same way. Just as I wouldn’t love someone in the same way if they continued to age, or grow, or learn. Love evolves as people do.
Should anyone else be able to tell you who to love or not love?
If only it were that easy. The human condition would be so much easier to endure if we could only love who we should and flee from the ones we should not.
Do you believe people that ended up divorced were ever truly in love?
In most cases, absolutely. Love changes. People change. Life changes. Sometimes it is impossible to keep all of those things changing in the same direction.
Would you give up something you want for someone you love?
That depends. I believe in compromise. I believe in wanting to put someone ahead of you. But I also believe that at a certain point if you are required to constantly “give up” for someone you love, you need to seriously assess if this “love” bit is a two way street.
If you truly love someone do you feel it should be unconditional?
Yes and no. I think that the feeling is unconditional.
But I also think that realistically you are talking about loving another flawed human being. In part, that’s why it is so important that love is unconditional. But at the same time, it also means that another person’s actions and choices have a tremendous amount of weight in your own life.
For example - if someone I love chooses to hit me, that is going to dramatically alter my ability to love them.
Jeeeeeeez. I’m depressed as hell now.
Anyone else?
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I love cheeseburgers, I love porn, I love comic books, I love you, I love my wife, but I’m IN love with Avril Lavigne.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Wait - I think I screwed that up.
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:14 pm
You ARE an old soul. An old, drunken, hilarious soul who passes out whenever I get naked.
May 24th, 2008 at 12:10 am
Miss Britt, I love your blog, and will not be memeing you. However I did surreptitiously write about you a few weeks back…
Not mentioning your name of course, but writing about blog crushes, and how it can sometimes be oh-so-depressing when your blog crush doesn’t love you back. Yeah…that was all about you baby.
PS I am far too lazy to be a stalker.
May 24th, 2008 at 12:59 am
I hope it’s ok that I don’t agree with some of your answers…
…but you made me a shirt so I think you knew I wouldn’t.
I have realized something about myself in the last year, that I give too much of myself and compromise too much for love. Like, unhealthily so. I’m working on changing that. It’s frustrating to suddenly catch myself in the middle of offering to compromise too much because I want everything to be perfect and not messed up this time. And then I get frustrated that I’m frustrated that it’s not perfect, because nothing is perfect.
I can’t say what I want to say publicly about the physical attraction part but let’s just say for the first time in many, many years I am very physically attracted to the person I love (and I don’t just mean that in the way that makes you squirm).
May 24th, 2008 at 1:18 am
Typical. You put the word love in a title and suddenly it’s the ‘meme to be doing.’ Ick…
May 24th, 2008 at 2:03 am
i like when you do memes, even if you hate doin em. and even when you do em about squishy love stuff.
May 24th, 2008 at 6:36 am
lol
I’m glad to see that you did it.
And yes, I do think you’re an ‘Old Soul’. That became evident for me when reading this:
http://miss-britt.com/2008/05/terrified/
and the emails on that topic.
It, however, was not my intention to have you ’squirm’, a la your current struggles. I recently read something that makes me understand where you’re coming from with that. My timing seems to be a bit off.
(Keep your chin up.)
~ZZ
May 24th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Really? This depresses you? I think what you wrote is very very good, well thought out, and right on. Spot on, as Selma would say.
And Poppy? Yeah - been there, honey. All in the name of “trying to be a good person” and a “good ______” whatever that is.
May 24th, 2008 at 10:17 am
@Britt’s Mom: Yes, I finally understand that if I lose my sense of self when trying to “be a good partner” by overcompromising it actually completely backfires. At least I see it, now the fun/hard part is doing anything about it.
May 24th, 2008 at 11:39 am
This is well thought out Britt. I tagged you - I wouldn’t have come to your comments to tell you this but it’s in the RULEZ.
http://karensugarpants.com/2008/05/24/random-and-weird/
May 24th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Grrr, I had a nice long thoughtful response but I made it disappear before posting it somehow. Oh well, nice post Britt.
May 24th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Thanks for stopping by Britt- you’ve totally made my little Princessy day!
May 24th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Your answers to this meme demonstrate an understanding on your part that few people ever reach:
Love is infinitely more about choices we make than it is about emotions we feel.
And we can make many more choices about our emotions — and the actions resulting therefrom — than most people believe they can.
May 24th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Yes, slicing your wrists is the true sign of love, but it only crosses your mind when love is taken from you. So life and love’s a bitch and then it tries to make you kill yourself. Nice…
May 24th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Ok, I had to post this. ONLY because of what Hockeyman said above:
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” ~ Neil Gaiman
Ya think this guy Neil might have a slight problem with this?? Just a wee one though.
~ZZ
May 24th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Love is something that has been on my mind quite a lot recently and yes, it is depressing the unholy crap out of me. Sigh… Why do you always make me use my brain?
May 25th, 2008 at 8:16 pm