I have a post percolating.
Sometimes that’s how it happens. An idea rattles around in my head, sentences and fragments swirling in the cotton candy parts of my brain as I go through my day, waiting to be drawn together by a common coherent thread.
Sometimes I have these wisps of an idea and I force myself to put them down before they’ve fully formed. Ultimately, these are the posts that end abruptly or miss the mark, the comments reflecting a completely different body of work than the one I’d imagined in my head.
I’d rather not do that today… miss the mark and produce a Frankenstein of thoughts… but the body is still missing the connective tissues.
Perhaps you can help…
Do you ever read a blogger who never reads you? If so, how do you feel about that?
Do you ever feel like there is someone you’d like to connect with - but they seem inaccessible? Do you ever perceive an “inner circle” online that you want to be a part of?
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I don’t read bloggers who don’t read me, and I try to read everyone who reads me, too.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:07 am
I’m not good enough at analyzing stats to be sure of who reads or feeds my blog, but I do know only a very small percentage of those who read it comment, so I just pretend/assume that the people I read also read me. I have many delusions that keep me happy.
Hell ya there are a few tight circles, no doubt about that. Mostly I find them boring, so it doesn’t bother me. Baffles me sometimes, though.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:19 am
there are plenty of folks that i read who don’t read me. i’m cool with that.
becky the voyeur
(cracked me up to sign my name like that seeing as how i am usually such an exhibitionist)
May 25th, 2008 at 12:36 am
There are two bloggers I absolutely love to read, but don’t think they read me (even though I comment on their blog from time to time).
I don’t buy into “blogging cliques”… if I run across a “circle” of bloggers who are so close-knit that they wouldn’t bother to be accessible to their other readers, then they’re a waste of time to me. If that’s the type of blog you want to run, then make it private and don’t bother the rest of us.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:37 am
When I have that Woopra thingy I will have a better answer. I think. I may end up sobbing in my coffee when I get Woopra. I dunno.
I’m not sure exactly who reads me and who doesn’t. I am pretty sure that some people read me, but don’t always comment. I figure that if they comment once a week , and I know they are someone who uses a feed reader, chances are they’ve read me all week long. I try not to be negative about it. I think mostly the people I read, read me. I’m sure that those who are not interested in my characters or the kind of writing I do, skip over my excerpts when I post them.
I know what it’s like to be a lurker. I do that a lot in most places I go that are non-blog related. I also know the value many bloggers place on comments so I like to comment on all the blogs I read. Perhaps not every post, but certainly the ones that interest me the most or the ones like this one where someone has asked a question.
I also know that I was completely shocked the first time Avitable and Dave2 commented on my blog. Or that Karl put my kid on his blogroll.
I don’t think you’ve ever commented on my blog. So I don’t know if you read me. I’m okay with that. I always figure 1) some people don’t have the time for everyone and 2) I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either.
There’s groups everywhere you go in life. Either you can find a way to become part of one or you don’t. Even a dork like me can find a way into a group if I work at it. Those people who sit on the side and never make an effort with people but like to say “ooooh they’re so cliquish”… they annoy the crap outta me. You wanna “belong” but you just want people to accept you without trying to show them who you are? Without any kind of effort on your part? Eff that. I have no time for people like that. Maybe that’s harsh of me to say but I’m old and cranky and SHY. Damn it, if I can set aside my SHY and go meet someone new, then it ain’t that hard to try to get people in a group to get to know you.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:39 am
Mmmmm… Cotton candy brain.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:57 am
There’s about a dozen blogs that I read that I’m sure don’t read me… but most of them are train wrecks or “big/pro” bloggers… and I don’t comment on them…
there used to be more, and occasionally I de-lurk and they hop over to my blog and read/comment. Like AmyD, I never thought she read me, but I wanted her to know I read her when she asked for us to de-lurk last week, so I did, and amazingly enough, I’m in her reader.
When I look at my stats, I seem to average about 50 readers… but I usually only have half a dozen commenters…
The group I identify with started way back with IT2M… there are hundreds of blog “cliques” that I don’t even know about… so how did I end up with you guys? Was it the message board? Was it the review site? And since Blog Talk Radio started getting more popular… new faces have emerged that I’ve started to read, and I’m sure they don’t read me either… but that’s ok.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:57 am
This sounds oddly familiar.
May 25th, 2008 at 1:05 am
I’m a lurker on quite a few and diverse blogs. I rarely comment, mostly because I’m far too busy most of the time to do so. Which necessarily means I read bloggers that don’t read me because I lurk. It does seem to me that there is amongst the several bloglines I read an inner circle that is impenetrable.
May 25th, 2008 at 1:16 am
I don’t know… are you reading mine?
May 25th, 2008 at 1:35 am
The short answers, yes, yes and yes.
Oh you wanted more than that?
I know I read heaps of bloggers that don’t read mine and that’s really fine. As much as I think the entire world *should* read the crap I spew out, I’m honestly amazed that anyone does!
Yes I think the bloggy world is very cliquish, (is that a word?) but that’s fine too. Anytime you get a large group of people, smaller groups will form. If people only want to be part of their little group then that’s cool, they just could be missing out on a lot of other stuff that’s going on.
I don’t sit here sobbing into my wine because I can’t “get in” to a group. I do my thing and if people like it - super. If not, oh well, I’m going to do it anyway!
I suppose it boils down to how important I see the blogging part of my life. It’s just a “part”, it’s not all of it. So no need to get knickers in a twist about it.
May 25th, 2008 at 2:58 am
I’m a Lurker. Yes, with a capital L. Thus, it goes without saying that I pretty much only read blogs whose writers don’t read mine. And that inner circle is the main reason…I usually start reading blogs at the point when they already have established their inner circle and instead of trying to become a part of it I just become an observer. And that too can be awfully entertaining. :)
May 25th, 2008 at 3:17 am
I do read bloggers who don’t read me, and am kind of a lurker who likes to read a variety of blogs, kinda like reading a magazine. It’s nice to receive comments, but if those who stop by don’t feel like commenting, or those who I read don’t read back, that’s cool. I post (when I have the time) because I enjoy it, and like to share with others. And reading is the same, I enjoy reading the opinions, events and experiences of others, and comment when I feel like moved to comment on a post. Inner circles? Perhaps there are those; I’m not part of one and don’t need to be. There are friends I share things with and communicate with via blogging, and also those who I read, enjoy and would like to get to know better; but then probably most who blog are like that. Communicating via blogging is fun and enjoyable, and that’s why I am in it.
May 25th, 2008 at 3:52 am
I try to put bloggers I meet into my feed reader so that I can read them later. I try to comment so that they know I’m reading, but it gets to be a long list.
I am like a lot of people in that I like comments. It’s a nice way to let someone know you are reading. If i get ignored, I’ll usually stop caring and drop the blog, though. It seems like wasted effort, otherwise.
May 25th, 2008 at 4:00 am
There are a few blogs I read whose owners don’t read me but I don’t mind so much. I read them because I enjoy reading their blogs.
May 25th, 2008 at 6:41 am
I read whoever I wanna read. It doesn’t matter if they read me or not.
Commenting’s another thing, though. If I comment again and again on a blog I dig and they never hop over to my place to say anything then I’ll usually stop commenting.
I’ll still read them, though, ’cause I’m a stalker like that.
May 25th, 2008 at 7:26 am
I read lots of blogs but don’t always comment. Sometimes I have nothing to say - IMAGINE THAT!
I know there are ppl who read me that don’t comment also. Once in a while, they pipe up though.
As for the ones taht don’t read me, oh well. If they want to come by, they will.
I do have a circle of blogger friends, but I wouldn’t say were a clique. They are just people I’ve gotten to know.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:04 am
I have several blogs in my feed reader that I read, and the person who writes it does not read my blog. At least, I don’t THINK they read my blog. If they do, they never comment. Which is OK.
Yes, there are one or two that I wouldn’t mind connecting with and they do seem inaccessible to me. But that’s only my perception and I’m sure if I were to reach out, they would become accessible.
Yes, I do perceive quite a few “inner circles” in the blogging community. Cliques? Not so much, I’m not in high school anymore.
We all have blogger friends whom we connect the most with. We all have friends who we’ve met in person and have become closer with. I don’t believe that makes us part of a clique.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:16 am
I read a lot of blogs who don’t read mine, although my commenting has dropped off quite a bit over the past year or so because I’m trying not to get fired for screwing around on blogs all day. :)
It’s always nice when someone you read also reads your blog, but it’s not an expectation or a prerequisite for me.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I have a really crappy attention span.
There are a couple of bloggers who read me that I just can’t read. It’s a style thing.
Hi. And see you soon!
May 25th, 2008 at 8:43 am
I have several “one-way” relationships with bloggers. I read theirs and I’m not sure they read mine. (This is probably one of them)
It’s okay. I don’t generally read other blogs so that they will read mine. Most of the blogs I read, I read because they are interesting. (This is probably one of them)
There are no inner-circles I wish I were a part of. I’m perfectly content with my role in the bloggysphere.
May 25th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Um, yea….I’m pretty certain most people don’t read my blog because it’s just about my trials and tribulations of school…snore… I also only comment on a few blogs I read, but the number I have bookmarked is about 4. Just no time.
I understand what you mean about inner circles. Sometimes it’s hard to feel comfortable when you stumble on a great blog with loads of readers/commenters. Seriously it feels like high school sometimes lurking on the fringes of the cool kids.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:06 am
I don’t know. There are bloggers I read who don’t comment on my blog, but I don’t know if that means they aren’t reading me. To be sure of that I would have to delve into my sitemeter stats and nothing bores me more than sitemeter stats.
I tend not to obsess about those things. I obsess about far weirder things.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am
You know,,,I just like to read. I really appreciate blogs like yours because you speak your mind like i do (but sometimes think better of it). I comment whenever its appropriate, not just to comment. As i have become older i am less confrontational in person, but i will surely tell you about your muthafuckin ass on my blog….i feel better now.
Thank y’all
May 25th, 2008 at 9:23 am
Everybody’s giving these big, detailed responses, so I think I should clarify.
When I first started blogging, I read a lot of people who didn’t know who I was. And I commented heavily and eventually that group of people became a circle of blogs that I read and that I know read me.
Over the last year and a half or so, I haven’t had the time to go out and find new blogs to read. Instead, when people comment or link to me, I add them to my feedreader and start to read them and try to comment occasionally.
So, as far as I can tell, I don’t read anyone who doesn’t also read me.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:23 am
I read quite a few blogs who don’t read me, and that’s totally fine by me. I don’t think it should be a “If you read me, I’ll read you” kind of thing. To me that’s a fake kind of relationship… and I’d rather have a one-way relationship than a fake one.
Admittedly when I first started blogging there was an “inner circle” that I wanted to connect with on a higher level. Then this amazing thing happened… and I did. This was when I realized that contrary to my belief… they weren’t really an “inner circle”, but more like a group of like-minded people who had known each other longer. “Inner circle” status, if I perceived one, no longer held such mystery and seemed as an unattainable goal as it once did.
In fact… if anything… those groups are actually easier to get into than to get the notice of one particular singular blogger.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:34 am
I read and comment on a lot of blogs. I enjoy it. I’m not sure if those same bloggers read me and that’s okay (their loss, not mine, just kidding!) I do know I have a small following as they comment most days on my blog.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:38 am
I read others and say what’s on my mind that’s all I care about. Do they read me? Who cares. I do believe if they are to read mine they will. I am not good at pressure tactics anyways.
I am not a very popular genre of blog, just a mish mosh of writing and things that go bump in the night. Mind you I have to work on the bumps, later!
May 25th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Well I’m an amateur Blogger for sure, I would love ,love,love to know how to tell who’s reading. I DO know however that I have alot of hits on my site but rarely does anyone comment. I have big plans for my blog, I swear ithttp://miss-britt.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/confused.gif
Oh?! BTW? I have been lurking your blog for about a week and your “depression is fun” series is right where I’m standing now. Thanks for being so open.
And I love your blog, it’s quite entertaining….http://miss-britt.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/ohgreatone.gif
May 25th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Of course.
I read a lot of you, and don’t get read…
but that’s because my blog sucks, and I don’t pay any attention to it, lol.
I think a lot of bloggers would be a blast to hang out with, and I do perceive a bit of an inner circle…don’t we all at one time or another in our lives wish we were part of someone’s inner circle? It’s funny you use that term, inner circle…it’s happening in my life right now. My best friend and her hubby are the only people my hubs and i really hang out with, and we recently re-connected with 2 other couples from a long time ago. Yeah…not so much. Didn’t work out, there was aggravation, stress, and it was too hard to have fun. It shouldn’t be hard. So we teased that we need to make shirts that say, “Member of the Inner Circle.”
Funny how blog life and real life mesh, huh?
May 25th, 2008 at 10:22 am
I am pretty sure some of the people on my blgoroll don’t read me…Having sitemeter and bloglog help me to identify some of the people however, I am hoping that will change as time goes by….it’s just a matter of people seeing me comment on other blogs and maybe clicking my link, then maybe deciding to blogroll me….
but much of the time, I feel….like I am on the outside looking in….I’m not one of the cool kids…I think this will change though. Going to BrittCon to meet some of the people I admire through the blog world will hopefully let people see the real me. I am not terribly profound, but maybe I can learn a thing or two and get more readers….only time will tell.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:27 am
There are one or two blogs that I read that I don’t believe read mine. And that’s fine with me. There are people who read and comment on my blog that I don’t read on a daily basis, but I do try to visit them and comment once a week or so because I know how much it means to me when someone comments and I like to spread that feeling around.
As for inner circles, I do believe they exist, but like Dawg said, it’s more that they are like-minded people who really connect rather than purposely shutting anyone out. And though there are times when I feel as if I’m on the outside looking in, there are other times when I feel very much a part of them. If that makes any sense!
May 25th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Yes, there are people I read that don’t read me. I don’t have a lot of readers and try not to take that personally. Most find me via a search for someting else and I don’t know if they hang around and read. Sometimes I think I must be really boring. I don’t have much drama. But I enjoy yours.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:45 am
I read several bloggers who don’t read me. It only bothers me when I leave comments and actively participate on their blogs and tweets and whatever and they don’t reciprocate whatsoever.
Once, I met someone in person who runs two quite successful blogs, one a personal blog and one more of a group blog. I told her I read her personal blog and not so much the other one, because the content isn’t relevant to me at the moment. I got a really snippy reply, one which was actually extremely hurtful (although she wouldn’t know why it was so hurtful, the retort itself was kind of icky no matter what). It caused me to become kind of jaded on “popular” bloggers. Maybe it’s my high school exclusion nightmares coming back, but it feels really shitty when you try to reach out and are totally ignored.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:48 am
I’m fairly new to the whole blogging thing, and I would be the first to say that I don’t expect the people whose blogs I read to read my blog…it’s pretty f’in dull! :) That said, I almost peed in my pants when I got comments from Dave2 & Avitable. It’s cool to see that people you enjoy reading & commenting on have checked up on you.
I don’t know if I’ve come across a “blogger clique” that I felt the urge to bust into, but if I do, I hope that I’ll just say “fuck ‘em” and move on if I can’t bust into it. I need to save my emotional commitments for my “real friends” and not get to worked up about my internet buddies.
Does that make sense?
May 25th, 2008 at 10:50 am
I have a lot of people that I read, mainly, because I became caught up in their lives before I started blogging.
I try to visit the blogs of those who comment on mine… it’s somewhat annoying when people I comment on EVERY SINGLE DAY don’t do the same. But, I am full of myself, and think they should do that.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Wow you pretty much read my mind or something like that. Lately I’ve been trying to convince myself to blog. I know I have some amusing posts in me somewhere. Then I think, “Why bother, no one reads.” For those who say blogging isn’t meant for others to read or something to that effect, I say SHUT UP. I mean why blog? One can’t reason that it’s just an online diary. If that were the case, we’d all just have private blogs meant only for ourselves. In my opinion, blogging is a way to connect with and amuse/enlighten/enrage others.
I do think there is a blogging “clique” but that’s human nature. Though if you keep reading and commenting on others’ blogs they’ll eventually come around to yours.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am
I read a lot of blogs that I am sure don’t read mine. I think it’s mostly because I don’t give them a chance to read mine. I’m always shocked when I look at my stats and see anyone has read it. I don’t let it bother me that I don’t get read, I blog for me and if someone else gets something out of it then that is just a bonus.
It has been my experience that even though there are inner circles everyone has been nice and inviting when I put myself out there to allow them to be.
May 25th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I just keeping trying to find a place where I belong.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:02 am
My Reader is about four times the size of the blog roll cause i have been to busy to update the blog roll.
And I am barely getting to read any blogs during this craziness.
I try to check out the blog of anyone who comments on my blog.
I’m not shy about joining in ;-)
May 25th, 2008 at 11:04 am
I have had my feelings hurt over this issue before. One time one of the bloggers I enjoyed, said that they were very busy and could we (all the readers) list our blogs on her blogliness accounts so she could add us to her blogroll and read our blogs too. I added myself as requested and my blog was deleted from the list. She said she deleted some of the people who signed up because we didn’t comment enough or she did not care for us based on our comments. Needless to say I don’t read her anymore.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Well you knew I would have something to say about this ;).
Let me give you a totally good example…for the longest time, I read Dawg’s blog. I’m not sure he was reading mine…he oould have been or he could NOT have been. All of the sudden one day, he “snacked” me and I thought, “wow, he does read”. Then I met him and love love love him and blah blah.
The point is that yes, there are blogs that I read because I enjoy them and those people may or may not read me back. Half the time it’s hard to tell because people will read from feed readers and never comment.
I’ve actually been asked “well do you even READ my blog?” and shock the hell out of people when I answer “yes” then convey a small part of their blogs back to them.
Okay last part of being long winded…I don’t care what anyone says, there ARE circles. I don’t like the way that the word “clique” has become “evil and impenetrable” but whatever, I’ll use the word “circle”. The thing is that the circles are cocentric and allow for people to step inside of them…or that’s what I’ve always found.
STFU Hilly.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I certainly read bloggers that don’t read me. There are some blogs that I like to lurk and I have no desire to reach out to the author.
I think there a pretty clear blogger clique. And I am just fine with my spot in the hierarchy.
I have made some great friends through blogging and I don’t need to the most popular girl in the lunchroom.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:31 am
I know most people don’t read me that I read or comment on and I’m ok with that. I secretly wish they read me, but in reality I know I’m not a great writer and my life is pretty damn boring, so why would they read me?
I used to feel lots of blogs were inaccessible to me until I joined IT2M. I picked up most of my blog feed from there.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Based on my stats, I assume MOST people I read don’t read me. But I read blogs because I enjoy them, so it doesn’t really bother me. Any interaction or reciprocation is just a bonus.
May 25th, 2008 at 11:41 am
I comment on a few blogs that I really like where the blogger has at least acknowledged me, but I have no idea whether or not they read my blog. I write largely for my own amusement on my site, and although I love it when people leave comments, it doesn’t bother me that a few of the bloggers whose work I really enjoy have never commented on my site.
As for “inner circles”…I know there are a number of blogs that only seem to have a small group of friends that all comment on each other’s site, but I don’t know if they’re especially exclusionary, and if they are then I have to go along with what Dave said: take it somewhere else, you guys.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Yeah, I should have just said what Dave and Fist said….so I want to agree with that. I don’t care if people have circles, as long as they break the chain long enough to let others in :).
May 25th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
avitable: I think the fact that you have an inordinate amount of time on your hands helps with that. :-P
Deb on the Rocks: it’s funny that you say you find a few tight circles “boring”. I wonder if we’re thinking about different circles.
hello haha narf: I knew that would be your response. Because you’re a lot like me (and my mom, incidentally) in that way.
Dave2: wow - that comment was very un Zen Dave like.
Winter: “Even a dork like me can find a way into a group if I work at it.”
I love this. LOVE this.
diesel: it’s a great visual, isn’t it? LOL
Tori: but of course you know *I* read you. Right??
Princess of the Universe: you’re an inspiration. Officially.
moik: I’m with you - the lack of comments usually comes from being busy.
Just Bob: umm… I don’t think I knew you read here - or had a blog - until very recently.
Penelope: I have yet to encounter a part of my life that is not worth twisting my panties about. I’m zen like that. hahahaha
UnsureExposure: you touched on something I was thinking about. The fact that when you see something as “established” it can seem daunting to even THINK of entering into it.
Coast Rat: that seems like a very balanced approach.
Jan: I HATE being ignored. Hate. The blog world is no different.
Colin Brooks: I think most of the blogs I read are written by people who don’t read me. And I’ve always been OK with that.
Musing: do you know I JUST found your “real” blog on Friday?
Jen: “They are just people I’ve gotten to know.”
Amen.
Sodapop:
“Yes, there are one or two that I wouldn’t mind connecting with and they do seem inaccessible to me. But that’s only my perception and I’m sure if I were to reach out, they would become accessible.”
So - what stops you? I’m genuinely curious.
jenny: can you imagine how fabulous blogging would be if none of us had to work??
Rich: YOU have an attention span problem?!?! I would have never guessed….
B.E. Earl: do you know I had absolutely no idea that you read me? None. I am shocked.
~jtm: “Seriously it feels like high school sometimes lurking on the fringes of the cool kids.”
Good for you for admitting that. I feel like that sometimes too. :-)
Mr. Fabulous: there are blogs you don’t read?? You are the biggest comment whore EVER!
Annette: I read blogs for the same reason - because I like to read. Love to. And blogs fit better into my schedule than a novel these days.
avitable: see, I don’t understand this. To me that means you’re reading out of some sense of obligation, or to keep the fan base happy. I would never be able to keep that up.
NYCWD: “To me that’s a fake kind of relationship… and I’d rather have a one-way relationship than a fake one.”
EXACTLY.
Mrs. Schmitty: I think it is, actually, to some extent their loss. At least in some cases.
Zanthera: I don’t have the attention span for honest to God pressure tactics.
Stephanie: is that like the Sweet Sweet Posse shirt I want to make? LOL
Cissa Fireheart: I have been very impressed with your willingness to put yourself out there with “us”.
Finn: you always make sense.
Summer: well, in your case - YOU NEVER LEAVE THE RIGHT URL WHEN YOU LEAVE A COMMENT!!!!!!! So I can’t find you. And I’ve looked. Lots and lots of times.
zchamu: “it feels really shitty when you try to reach out and are totally ignored.”
I don’t ever want to do that to someone.
Tracy: I remember when I found out Dave2 read me. I about DIED I was so excited.
Andria: I am guilty of ignoring regular commenters. Sometimes it takes all the free time I have to individually respond to them here. I hate that it makes people feel neglected.
Lin: I think it does take some perserverance. Definitely.
J.O.: exactly - I think we’d be surprised how much people would notice us if we make the effort.
Maman: Jesus. That makes me want to cry.
Turnbaby: you? shy? hahahahahah - no, no, definitely not.
Marsha: ok that’s just fucking rude.
Hilly: “The thing is that the circles are cocentric and allow for people to step inside of them…”
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Look at us!
Karen: I think “popular” is a pretty subjective idea anyway.
Fogspinner: I found a lot from that site as well. Back in “the day”.
Stacey: what counts as interaction or reciprocation?
Iron Fist: I wonder if people run out of time for new friends. And how sad is that, if that’s the case?
Hilly: I’m sorry. We can only accept your original answer.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I haven’t really thought about what stops me. Sometimes I feel I should reach out more and then these people wouldn’t seem so out of reach to me.
And then other times, I get selfish and lazy and just don’t take the time :)
May 25th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I don’t think everyone who I read reads me in return but it’s ok. Frankly my posts have been so boring as of late it’s a wonder that anyone reads me at all.
I don’t know if there are blogging clicques but I do think there are some very tight blogging circles but most are pretty receptive if you start to visit them frequently. That’s been my experience anyway.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I think I read a lot of blogs where people aren’t reading me. I don’t have a ton of time to read blogs anymore though, and I often don’t leave comments, so whatever. I have made some amazing friends that I hope to meet in real life soon and that is good enough for me. I don’t usually check my stats either, so I guess I have no idea who reads me and who doesn’t unless they leave a comment. Will you be giving your opinion on the questions you asked? Or is this research into a future blog post you will be writing?
I guess my opinion on this is that I read who I want, I don’t read people I feel obligated to read because that feels like work, and work isn’t fun! If someone wants to read me and connect with me, great, if not ok. I might be sad that someone didn’t want to get to know me, but you can’t force someone to like you, you know?
Everyone should be entitled to read or comment wherever they want to, and I feel like the sense of obligation to return comments sometimes is overwhelming. Almost like a job. I do make a few dollars from my ads, but I don’t make enough to justify reading/commenting on blogs I have no interest in (I hope that doesn’t seem rude because it sort of sounds like it when I read it back and that isn’t how I mean it!)
May 25th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Oh yeah, there are a lot of people whose blogs I read who don’t read mine. Some are big names in the blogger world, some aren’t. If I get a new reader or someone adds me to their blog roll, it’s a treat. But it’s certainly not the reason I started blogging in the first place.
As for blogging circles… well, yeah, there are people I’d love to know personally. Particularly those who actually live within my same area code ;-) But cliques? I’m sure they’re out there, but I want nothing to do with them. High school was hard enough for me. I’d rather just connect with cool people, regardless of who they blog around with.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
It’s not out of obligation. It’s a way of expanding the blogs I read and including those who have come over and commented on my site. I wouldn’t confuse common courtesy with an obligation or some way to keep my readers happy.
May 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
I KNOW that no-one I read reads me because I don’t have a blog. I had a blog but it wasn’t who I was anymore so I abandoned it. Now I don’t have a blog because I don’t want to pretend that I am someone that I am not, and I don’t want to hide my identity online, and I am really not a great writer. But I love reading the blogs I read and I will continue to read them and hopefully I will get to connect on some level with my favorite blog authors (such as you) even though I don’t blog.
May 25th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
There are a few blogs that I read that they don’t read mine. Unless they read it in google reader and just don’t come over and comment. Generally though when then don’t come over and comment I stop commenting on theirs. I could truncate my blog in reader, but I think that’s rude and REALLY hate it when other people do that, so I don’t want to be a hypocrite about that.
Just a couple of days ago I took about 5 or 6 blogs off my blog roll since they never come to my blog. I got two emails from people asking me why I did that. But, if they’re never going to comment I can only assume they aren’t reading. And it really bugs me when people want on my blog roll, but don’t think they should have to ever come over to my blog and even comment every once in a while.
I think sometimes blogs can be a bit cliquish, but I think that is a product of everyone having only so much time to read blogs. When we reach out limit of blogs we can read and comment on, then it ends up looking like a clique even though it may not really be the same thing as the high school cliques we all remember since they excluded people for whatever arbitrary reason they came up with.
May 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I read blogs whose owners/authors don’t read me.
I don’t read everyone’s blog who reads me.
I used to get bent out of shape when people didn’t read me, and used to feel obligated to ready everyone who reads me, but… I finally hit blogger bottom and realized that we all have busy lives and we have to make choices about how much time we can devote to blog reading.
There *are* inner circles within the blogging community. I have sometimes felt uninvited into those circles, and other times I’ve felt very invited in. Other times I’ve forcibly inserted myself into those groups for a while and either I got accepted/wanted to stay or I didn’t. It’s like high school to me. (Although, honestly, in high school, I floated around in every group and no one rejected me ever which perhaps explains why I was unprepared to ever be rejected by a blogger clique.)
May 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Based on the number of blogs I have in my reader and on the amount of hits and comments I get each day, I read a lot more blogs that don’t read me.
I think a lot of the people that I read occasionally stop by to check me out, but I’m not a daily read. For the most part I’m reading their blog more often than they are reading mine. I understand, I’m not that exciting.
May 25th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Wow–how to answer this without writing my own blog post right here in your comments? :)
I am almost positive that the vast majority of the blogs I read regularly do not read me and I’m okay with that. I think that the whole “I must read and comment on the blogs whose owners read and comment on mine” thing is what gives the illusion of an inner circle in the first place and, like someone else said–those are pretty easy to get into, largely because the people in it might not realize that they’ve created their own clique. :)
May 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I’m sure there are bloggers I read that never read me, but with feeds it’s harder to tell. In my early blogging days that would’ve bothered me, but I’ve learned to take the whole enterprise less personally. People are busy, feel like reading something else… I get it. Still, it’s nice when people take a moment to stop by my blog or to respond to my comment.
When a blogger gets a lot of comments of which they rarely/never respond to any, they can seem inaccessible, I suppose. Unless I really like their writing or they comment on my blog from time to time, I’m likely to move on in that case.
Sure, there are inner circles online. E.g., bloggers I read who’ve met each other in person. It sets their online interactions apart sometimes. Admittedly, I’ve added some feeds (yours included) since TequilaCon so I can get to (sort of) know more of the folks who might attend the next one, or a similar event. To be clear, I don’t think TC is exclusionary in any way, it’s legend is just a little intimidating to an introvert.
May 25th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I read lots of blogs of people that don’t read mine. I think. It’s hard to say who’s reading, exactly, because I know there are lots of lurkers.
As for the “inner circle” thing, I really wouldn’t read anyone who wasn’t accessible to me. I’m certainly plenty accessible.
I don’t comment on every post I read because that would just be insane. But I try to leave comments at least once a week on the blogs I read.
May 25th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I read a lot of blogs that I don’t think the author reads mine, I’d actually be surprised if they did. I don’t mind, that’s not why I read blogs. However if someone has commented a couple of times on my blog, I feel it would be rude not to return the visit. Easy for me though to do, because my blog is tiny like a flea.
May 25th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Based on the amount of comments I get, this doesn’t seem to be a problem since my Mom doesn’t blog.
Just kidding. Mom tells me she can’t remember how to get to my blog, which is kind of like saying, I’m too busy to read you. And I try not to let the fact that she is a homebound cripple, who spends all her days and nights on the internet, pose an argument. I try REAL FREAKIN HARD!
May 25th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I had to stop tracking who was reading my blog because a: it made me crazier and b: I had to stop writing so much. So as far as I know no one I read reads mine.
May 25th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
I have no clue who reads me. But with readers now, it’s really hard to tell. Although my post on the CBC drew out two bloggers I’d never heard of (and I don’t think comment on any of the blogs I read.) Fact is I don’t know who reads my blogs.
Honestly, I try to comment at least once on the blogs I read. But from time to time I get intimidated. Dave2 and Avitable took me a long time.
Are there circles? For sure, if only of common interest — very few of my running buddies read my general blog, and vice versa. I mean if you don’t run, it means squat to you. I know there are circles. There are blogs where you are definitely not meant to feel welcome. To which I usually unsubscribe or stop commenting..
May 25th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
I have no idea who reads my blog unless they leave a comment and I don’t obsess about it. I don’t believe in cliques or the “inner circle” thing and don’t feel that there isn’t anyone that is so full of greatness that they can’t at least be reached by email.
Whether they respond is a different story.
May 25th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
I used to be. Stupid life going all topsy-turvey on me. Not as much time.
May 25th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Fab was never a comment whore by me.
I just don’t pay like the others.
Small boobies ya know.
May 25th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I think that in all areas of life there are “circles” - we think it’ll end when we leave high school, but it just never does. And I don’t think that is automatically a horrible thing. I know that for me, I’m just naturally drawn to certain people - for a variety of reasons. Maybe it’s that they make me laugh, or that they’re on the same wavelength I am in terms of various issues, or that they just seem like someone I want to know. I think those same circles exist in the blogosphere - we’re drawn to people who make us laugh or make us think or seem to have something in common with us, etc. Not necessarily a bad thing, and most people here are warm and welcoming and awesome.
Having said that, there are sometimes circles whose primary goal seems to be the exclusion of other people. And those circles suck.
May 25th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I think that there is absolutely an “inner-circle” of bloggers. They are the ones who get invited to all the cool parties and get showered with stuff.
It’s just like high school!
But unlike high school, we should all be old enough and mature enough to not care and to be happy in the crowd with which we have become comfortable and familiar.
Do I continue to read the more “popular girls” (like you)? Of course! The reason you are more popular is because you (and others) write their ass off and do it well.
May 25th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
I think I read quite a few blogs that don’t read me. And I leave comments sometimes, hoping they will stop by. But it’s not really THAT big of a deal to me. I know everyone’s busy! ;)
May 25th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
“Do you ever read a blogger who never reads you? If so, how do you feel about that?”
I’m good with it. I puzzle more over the people who come back time and time again and I worry about offending them sometimes.
“Do you ever feel like there is someone you’d like to connect with - but they seem inaccessible? Do you ever perceive an “inner circle” online that you want to be a part of?”
I’m sort of a hermit (with a blog …). So probably not. Or, maybe, I’m just busy with 3 kids … I’m feeling less hermit-like lately.
May 25th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
I really don’t know of any “inner circles.” Just people that like each other and happen to blog, meeting each other online. Nobody I read is “inaccessible.” Anyone can jump on in and hang out. That’s why I love the blogosphere.
I won’t read anyone who treats anyone else like an outsider.
May 25th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Yes and yes.
It always surprises me when anyone reads my blog. The first time you and Avi, Karl and Hilly and Dave2 commented on my p.o.s. blog felt like Christmas morning.
I have been so tetchy and tired lately that I have been staying away from other people’s blogs just in case I say something insulting… which I have been quite good at lately.
There are a number of blogs which I read but don’t comment on as the fear that I will be rejected or worse ignored is massive. These blogs are in no way ‘inaccessible’ but… it;s all just a self confidence thing. I, at the moment, have none.
And there are quite a few blogs on my blogroll which have never been anywhere near my site… This bothers me less as… jeez… have you seen the crap I’ve been coming up with?!
See - I’m whiney on other people’s blogs too!
May 25th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
ya know it occurred to me, if i actually put my blog address on here maybe someone would wander over.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
I can think of one blogger in particular who kinda comes across as… I don’t know, I guess inaccessible is the right word. I love what she writes, but she comes off as too cool for me kind of thing. Still- I read her. I don’t think she’s ever come by my blog, but I don’t care. I do think there are cliques - it would be almost silly to say otherwise. A clique is basically a group of people who are friends, right? But most of them are nice.
I am babbling. Damn drinks!
Anyway, my short answer is, I read people who comment on my blog, and people who don’t. I read what I like, regardless.
May 25th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
There are a couple of blogs I read every day that I don’t often comment on and I read them because I really enjoy them. I never check my stats so I don’t know who’s reading my blog and who isn’t. I have some firm favourites that I would read even if they didn’t read me. Sure, some kind of inner circle thing exists but I tend to ignore that. Call me naive, but I think most bloggers are quite gracious and would generally include a new blogger in their ranks. If I like what a blogger is saying and where they’re coming from, I’ll keep reading regardless of where they come in the pecking order. To be honest, I wouldn’t know where they came, anyway. I’ve commented a lot of times on blogs I perceived as being really popular and thought:’There’s no way I’ll get a return comment’ and have been pleasantly surprised to find otherwise. It’s very encouraging.
May 26th, 2008 at 12:54 am
I read some blogs that don’t read mine. Primarily I try to read the blogs of my readers and commenters. As far as circles go, I don’t own a vat of unicorn tears to give up as booty to the sacred circles…so I probably can’t get in. I also refuse to sacrifice my first born to get in with their good graces. So, my options are limited. :)
May 26th, 2008 at 1:30 am
[...] the faboo Miss Britt posed a very interesting question on her blog today and the comments are really [...]
May 26th, 2008 at 1:38 am
I like being a circle of blog friends and knowing I have a good set of regular readers and people that leave comments.
There are a few blogs I read that I’m sure don’t read mine. It’s hard to know unless they comment. I mean, I could go and check the stats and see who came from where and how long they stayed, etc.. etc… but that’s not how I want to spend my time. I would rather work on future posts that I like to write about, possibly good enough so that others may find what I have to say enjoyable.
But I have been adding various blogs in this circle of blogs here that I go to on a regular basis.
I will say this: if you have an RSS reader, it makes it easy to know when you’ve posted something new.
There are blogs that I have gone to, read, then feel like I’m some sort of outcast or I see the virtual NOT WANTED sign posted, in between the lines and words. Openly naming names, dooce is such a blog to me. And that’s not because I’m male. I just get this “i’m big time now and don’t give two shits about the 1,000 comments that some people leave on one of the few posts I allow comments on” feeling the couple of times I’ve visited.
Ok… I’ve gone way past answering the question. But hey, that’s blogging for ya…
May 26th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Yes, I do read a few that don’t read me. If they are an awesome writer and I enjoy reading them, I feel like the reciprocity doesn’t necessarily matter. Sure it would be nice if they came to visit me, but I also realize that some people have an insane number of readers and if they read everyone who read them, they would never get off the computer.
May 26th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Crap! That above comment was me over-eagerly hitting the “enter” button.
May 26th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
I have that site-meter thing, and I keep waiting for the numbers to hit the stratosphere…but it just ain’t happening. I don’t know how many other bloggers read me…there’s a couple who leave me a comment now and again (and for that, I truly am appreciative because I honestly feel so honored that someone of a “higher” blogger status reads me!). I keep looking at my favorite blogs to see if my site happens to be listed as one to visit, but so far that hasn’t happened either
I like to click on other blogger links from my faves just to see what else is out there, and I’ve found some great ones!!!!
I’ve not run into blogger cliques…at least I don’t think I have! But I could just be clueless…wouldn’t be the first time!
May 26th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
My body grew old but my mind forgot to follow. I still love to stay out late and party. Unfortunately my ancient friends want to go to bed by 11. I feel a little like an outcast around people who used to hang with me. I stayed in Key West for a week last summer with 6 other people. The oldest one of them was 31. I had a ball. The blogging world seems to be mostly people 25-35 years old. I guess that I don’t fit in with them either. It seems that away anyhow. I suck.
May 26th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I’m from the south, but I really didn’t mean to say, “seems that away!”
May 26th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Do you ever read a blogger who never reads you? If so, how do you feel about that?
I read a woman’s blog, and I’m pretty sure she’s never read mine. When I comment, I feel like a stranger interrupting a group of close friends talking to each other. I feel like the unpopular kid trying to talk to the popular girls and having them look at me like I’ve got snot all over my face or something.
Do you ever feel like there is someone you’d like to connect with - but they seem inaccessible?
Not really.
Do you ever perceive an “inner circle” online that you want to be a part of?
Yes . . . you and Adam and everyone one in that whole group of talented/funny folks.
May 26th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I don’t blog. Why the hell would I presume that anyone is interested in the details of my life? And if they are I would suggest to them to get one of their own. It’s a big world out there. Much bigger than this little plastic box.
You are a boring, self absorbed woman. I only made it here via a friend and I won’t be back.
May 26th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I know more people read me then I think, because I average about 90 unique hits per post (small potatoes I know) yet I am thrilled to get 7 comments out if it. I do wish people would comment more though - sometimes I find some new blogs that I enjoy that way. I also know I would get more readers and find more blogs if I would get off my ass and posted more regularly.
I do read a lot of bloggers who likely don’t read me (or at least have never left a comment on my blog) and I read a lot of “different” styles of blogs (My funny ones like you and Avitable, Mom Blogs, Fashion Blogs) so my Mommy Bitching is unlikely to appeal to many of these people. I have recently deleted some blogs that have been rubbing me the wrong way.
May 26th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
i know i shouldn’t do this, yet i can’t help myself…
dear dd,
fuck off.
thank you.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
I love your blog. I only found it moments ago on blogtations, but I am so impressed I think I will add you to my blogroll.
But oh, I didn’t come on for THAT. I wanted to say YES! There is one person I read that seems to selfish and stuck on herself to read me back. I know that sounds jealous, but I don’t know what her deal is why she could never come to my blog and say hello.
I try really hard to make a point in commenting others that come to me.
May 26th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
I waited for a while to add my own little voice to the cacophany. Apparently I waited a little too long and there’s a new post up top.
I hope all is as well as it can be in your hometown, and that recovery for those who live there is as fast as it can be too.
I’m pretty new to blogging, so I’m POSITIVE that most of the people I read have no idea I exist. How could they, really? It seems like there are thousands of new blogs every day!
I’m cool with that. Sure comments are a thrill and my when my sitemeter shows a jump in numbers it’s a huge rush, but I have my own reasons for being out here. I’m trying to take my time and not get overwhelmed by the cool kids.
May 26th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Dear DD,
Thank you for gracing us with your presence, however fleeting. You seem like such a wise person, a person who goes out of his/her way to leave brave anonymous comments, to make others feel good, a real contributor to society. It’s really so sad that you don’t have your own blog, I’m sure you would have an incredibly devoted following. Unlike Britt. Right?
I’m sure you’re just too busy to start one, what with this amazingly productive life you’ve got getting tricked into reading your friend’s blogs and not caring enough to leave a comment on blogs and all. You’re a busy dude.
I know I’m feeling a real sense of loss here.
So please, go fuck yourself gently with a chainsaw.
Much love,
Maggie.
Dammit.
May 26th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
DD,
Yes, she’s so shallow.
Which is why she packed up her car this morning to drive a million miles to take care of her family members who’s lives were devastated due to a tornado.
Yep, selfish and shallow people certainly do that.
Go somewhere else to spread the hate, m’kay?
May 26th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Always in pursuit of the human connection.
Nuff said.
May 27th, 2008 at 11:24 am
If I didn’t read blogs who didn’t read me, I’d only be reading about 5 blogs.
And there do seem to be inner circles, but I have found that these circles seems mostly to be connected by location of the bloggers or that they’ve met at some bloggy thing like Blogher, which I am not going to AGAIN! Someday Blogher will fit into my schedule. Sigh
May 27th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I don’t blog enough to really voice an opinion. Nor am I blog-literate enough to be able to tell who reads me. I’ve got a little circle of “bloggin’ bffs” and we kind of hop in and out of each others virtual reality, depending on how much time we have.
I like comments but since I used my blog as a bitchfest forum or as a place to document and track all of the crazy dramatics that come from having a large family, I don’t get many. I’m okay with that, 95% of the time. Sometimes I get down on myself about it though. [Yes, I really am lame like that.]
As far as “cliques” go, you seem to have quite the ‘following’ though I would never classify you as a clique bc the only people not invited are bitchy mommy group members. Geez, you even tolerate my conservative ass. Do I wish I’d have enough guts to take myself to TequilaCon? Oh yes.
May 27th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
I read a lot of blogs, and I try to comment on all of them, even tho I know they don’t read mine. But I gotta admit I get intimidated by the SHEER SIZE of some peoples’ comment roster (yours obviously included) and don’t leave a comment cuz I figure, fuggit, they’re not gonna get to it in their 573 comments anyway.
And yes, there is most definately a “cool kids” blog clique that exists. Aren’t you just the coolest of the cool? ;-)
May 27th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Yea, I read people’s blogs that I’m pretty sure have NEVER read mine, and while it makes me feel …. I don’t know, not appreciated, not thought about, not popular enough??? I do understand some of the ones I read are really popular and can’t possibly answer EVERYONE’s blog, so then I get over it! LOL
May 28th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Do you ever read a blogger who never reads you? Yep. Quite a few actually.
If so, how do you feel about that? Indifferent. Some I would like to have pop in and comment, others, I could care less.
Do you ever feel like there is someone you’d like to connect with - but they seem inaccessible? Somewhat, but again, it’s not high school and it’s not the end of the world if they never come to my place and comment.
My feed reader is HUGE and I barely have time to leave comments on most of what I read. I understand that works both ways. I do try to check out the blogs of new commenters when they leave a comment on mine. If you looked at my blogroll you’d think I only read a few—no time (or desire/energy/enthusiasm) to actually update it to reflect the number that I read. Not to mention all the blogs that I have bookmarked but not in my feeder yet.
May 29th, 2008 at 8:56 am
I subscribe to over 80 blogs and read most thru my Google Reader. I try to comment when I can. I’m positive there are many of those blogs that probably don’t ever read or visit mine but that’s okay… although I would love to have a ton of subscribers, there’s nothing I can do about it. I need to be myself, do things my way and the people that subscribe will be sincere. I’m okay with that.
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 pm
If I didn’t read blogs of people who don’t read me I wouldn’t read any blogs at all. OK, that’s not true. I know there are probably a hand full (or 2) of people who read my blog, and well, that’s ok. I have a whole string of blogs I read. I do read everyone’s blog who reads mine, and especially if they comment on mine.
June 11th, 2008 at 4:30 pm