If there was ever a reason for navel gazing, this is it:
My 10 year class reunion is in two months.
I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not I’m attending. On one hand, I haven’t seen my mom in six months. On the other, well, I’m not sure what exactly is on the other hand - but I’m really having a hard time getting excited about the idea of going.
Now before the Internet leaps up to pronounce in one loud, unified and oh so understand voice that they too dreaded going to their highschool reunions because OMG you hated highschool anyway and have no fucking interest in seeing those people ever… I should tell you, I harbor no bitterness towards my highschool years.
I mean, sure, I was awkward and “misunderstood” and there were some really, really painful times - especially during my sophomore year. But I had a pretty good time in highschool. I was in cheerleading and speech and drama and track (until everyone outgrew my stunted ass). I wasn’t on the Homecoming Court or included in The In Crowd, but I went to football games and dances and parties just like everyone else. I wasn’t considered a Hot Girl, but I had boyfriends and dates and… ahem… things.
In other words, Molly Ringwald and I could have been fucking soul mates.
Going back to small town Iowa (do you see that? do you see how I didn’t call it “home”??) for my highschool reunion shouldn’t be a big deal. Really.
And yet, I can feel myself avoiding it. I’m one emergency operation away from making up an excuse not to get back that weekend.
“Aren’t you excited to see everyone?” my mom asked.
Actually, no. I’m not. Not even a little bit. Because I’m fairly certain that none of us will be seeing each other anyway. Not really.
What we’ll see instead are the remnants of 18 year old kids wandering around in our parents’ clothes, updated only with name tags and labels that report Married or Still Single. Kids or No Kids. Job or Career. Money or No Money. Success or Failure. And regardless of what my name tag says, I no longer have any interest in being seen that way.
“But won’t this be a great time to go back? You’ve moved away, you’re doing great. Isn’t that the perfect time to go back home?” a friend of mine said.
I suppose he’s right in theory. I’m proud of what I’ve spent the last ten years of my life doing. I’m proud of the life I’ve built for myself. I’m proud of who I am now. I’m comfortable in my own skin and, for the most part, I like me.
I’m just not so sure anyone else will see that. And quite frankly, I have absolutely no desire to go back and “show off” to ensure that they do. Blech. That makes me nauseous just thinking about it. That whole idea is so phony and insincere and puke, puke, puke, no thank you.
But still…
I’m afraid to go back and be squeezed into a box that no longer fits me. I’m afraid people who don’t know me won’t “get me”, and that will make me question what I know about myself. Because these aren’t strangers not getting me - these are people who are pretty sure they do “know” me. These are people who have the power to humble the shit out of me, simply by looking through me.
Why in the hell would I willingly put myself in that position?
And is my ego really so freaking fragile that one night with a room full of old classmates will make me question who I am?
And if it is, what does a crazy ass narcissistic ego-maniac wear to such an occasion that says “Screw you. I am fucking awesome.”? Open toes? Pumps?
Am I making any sense at all here?
Did you go to your last highschool reunion? Why, or why not?
Updated to Add: If I was still living in Small Town, Iowa - this would be a no brainer for me. I’d go and have fun and have no expectations. But I now live 1400 miles away. To go would mean spending about $1200 to fly back and be in town for about 36 hours.
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I didn’t go, and I was in town, too. I realized that I’m still friends with the people that I care about from high school. The rest of them don’t matter in the slightest.
May 14th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I went… wearing a plain white t-shirt and a pair of cut off jeans… at the last minute I freaked out and refused to try to impress anyone… so I did my hair, slapped on my makeup and went… it was “fine”… I honestly don’t have any memories from it… so it wasn’t special nor horrible….
May 15th, 2008 at 12:14 am
I went to mine, and only because I had 2 friends “make” me go. I had no interest for pretty much all the reasons you have, and also because of what Avitable said - I was already in contact with the people I wanted to be in contact with. Still, I went. It was…. interesting. Not boring. No - kinda boring, actually. But interesting, too. Everyone seemed pretty much the same - and this was my 20th year reunion! The bad part for me was finding that the one guy I really wanted to see had died in Egypt a few months earlier. All in all, it’s okay that I went, but I probably won’t be going to another one.
I know - I am really helpful, right?!
May 15th, 2008 at 12:30 am
P.S. High heels, either way. Elongates the figure and lifts the butt. Haha
May 15th, 2008 at 12:31 am
I went to my 10 year reunion. I was kinda bored.
You are right though- I felt like putting on my name tag:
Not married
No Kids
I work for X company doing X.
Some might argue that 10 years isn’t long enough.
May 15th, 2008 at 12:39 am
My 20 year reunion (I think I had an aneurysm as I typed that) is in July. I have ZERO desire to go. I should want to go. I was the fat, ugly girl in high school. I was shy, withdrawn and high school really wasn’t that great for me. I think I’ve accomplished a lot in 20 years. I’ve lived in some amazing cities, lost 150 pounds, I’m just over 30 days away from moving to the Netherlands…I should want to go and show people how I’ve changed…yet I don’t really find it necessary for some reason. I guess over the years I’ve learned that gaining the approval or acceptance of those that once shunned me won’t validate me as a person or change the person that I am now. I think I’m more content to just keep living in the “here and now” and forget about the “then”
May 15th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Didn’t go. Didn’t care. When you get pregnant in high school no one gives a shit about whether or not you succeeded. Your still - “that girl, the one who used to popular until she got… you know.”
I graduated a year early to get the hell out of that place. No thank you. Not interested in the least.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:10 am
I never attended my 10 year reunion solely on the fact that I didn’t have the desire. I didn’t feel the need to show others what I had accomplished. And that is basically what it boils down to. Who had success and who failed.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:10 am
I’ve been out since . . . a long ass time ago, OK?
Anyway. I’ve never gone to any reunions. Don’t regret it a bit. The few people I want to see, I go to see. I’m sure the rest of them are very fine people, I just don’t give a crap what they’re doing now.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:12 am
My bloody highschool is wanting to have a reunion in June - IT’S ONLY BEEN 5 YEARS!!!!!
May 15th, 2008 at 1:24 am
[...] yet both of them were the type of posts that forced me to sit back and do some self-evaluation. Miss Britt and Avitable both succeeded in making me actually “think” tonight. Damn the [...]
May 15th, 2008 at 1:29 am
I skipped mine. Those fuckers didn’t give a shit about me 10 years ago and since I’m not a billionaire, I have nothing to rub in their faces now. Spend the money on a vacation trip someplace fun and do a shot by the pool in their honor.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:29 am
Didn’t go to my 10th year reunion. Didn’t go to my 20th. I stay in touch with two girls I went to High School with. They are my best friends. When I left that school I said :’ See ya, fuckers.’ And I meant it. Avitable is right.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:43 am
Britter, Britter, Britter…
Hasn’t living with Devin and Adam taught you ANYTHING?! If there’s one thing I learned from Adam since meeting him is that, yes, if you’re smarter than someone, you are in fact BETTER than that person.
Plus, think about the people you graduated with…not exactly entrepreneurs are they?!
May 15th, 2008 at 2:51 am
My thinking is the same as Adam’s.
I have never gone to any of my reunions, even though I had a great time in high school. I figure that anyone that I really wanted to keep in contact with, I have, so what is the point of going there to see people in whose lives I have no interest?
Even those I kept in contact with, on the rare occasions I see one, they always want to talk about the old days. I am not much on nostalgia. I am all about the present and the future.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:30 am
Allright Britt you are killing me here… I am up at 4:00 ( Iowa Time) and am debating the same things for my 20 year reunion… all the things that people are saying are exactly what is running through my head… The best piece of a advice from my husband is ” your still going to let these people control you after 20 years…”
Try not to let your self conciousness stand in the way of what you really want to do.
May 15th, 2008 at 4:53 am
I didn’t go. I had no interest in going. The all girls high school I attended has an annual alumni lunch and I have never attended.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:32 am
My 10-year reunion is coming up this fall and I still haven’t decided if I’m going or not. I went to my 5-year college reunion, and I felt like 5 years was not enough time between Then and Now. I’m not sure if 10 will be any better. When I find high school people on Facebook, I usually have some kind of reaction like “I remember I HATED her in high school… but I can’t remember why.” So I figure at the reunion, either we will be able to make it past all that because we’ll all have forgotten… OR we will be reminded why we hate each other.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:52 am
I’m from a small town in Pennsylvania with a small town mentality. I’m not sure if all small towns share the same “small town mentality” however this town certainly does.
High school wasn’t bad for me either and I got along with everyone. I was the majorette, not the cheerleader and was in every blessed club that existed.
When the 10th reunion came along I felt like it was going to be a horse and pony show so I didn’t go. However, I wasn’t secure with myself or happy.
I would attend the next reunion because I’m proud of who I am and I like the woman I’ve become. Not that I need to boast or brag because I’ve got nothing to to boast or brag about.
It would be interesting to see what other people have become.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:01 am
avitable: yes, well, you’re a shit and don’t value other people.
I’ve pretty much resigned myself to doing the opposite of whatever you do.
Tori: just “fine” eh? I suppose I can live with fine.
Sybil Law: that’s the point my mom made - that it would be “interesting”.
Princess of the Universe: maybe I’ll go and put on my name tag
“I’m a big deal on the Internet”.
That Bitchy Chick: you’re describing almost exactly how I’m feeling.
AmyD: I can understand why you wouldn’t want to go.
Mindy: which is kind of silly. I mean really, to deem yourself a success or failure at life at 28 is just… silly.
Honeybell: yes, exactly, very fine people I don’t know or really.. meh. Right?
bek: we did a five year too.
Hockeyman: well, my mom also happens to be back there so I think I’ll HAVE to be in the vicinity anyway. But I’m all for shots in honor.
Selma: I can’t imagine you saying fuckers.
Creed: *sigh* I have taught you nothing.
Mr. Fabulous: really? I figured you’d be all over a reunion party!
Terri: yeah, funny thing is I really don’t care - but I feel like I “should” go.
Maria: where the hell are all the people that show up to these things?!?!
srah: oh I remember why. No reminders needed. I am so mature.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Lisa: I know exactly what you mean by small town mentality. Exactly.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:03 am
Clearly, I do value other people. I value those who I stayed friends with. The other people are essentially strangers, and the only reason to go to the reunion would be to try to impress strangers.
Creed, right on!
May 15th, 2008 at 7:04 am
I feel rather out of place here. I liked a lot of people from high school and the last reunion I went to was very cool. I am still friends with some and know where many are and there were 500 kids in my class and we graduated in 1971.
The people who had a miserable time or didn’t go were folks that always had something to prove and weren’t all that great to know even when we were in high school.
From my vantage point folks that had a hard time with the reunion thing (at least with the people I know) sometimes use things they should have gotten over a long time ago to justify whatever they’re doing now regardless of what actually happened or how big an effect it really had.
Go. You should go. You should go and enjoy it as much as you can and be “bigger” than folks if that’s what it takes. But you’d be surprised how a lot of folks actually turn out to be OK once you give up all the old shit that, after all, doesn’t mean anything anymore anyway.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:26 am
I didn’t go to my official 10yr reunion, in fact, I guess only 3 people had signed up to go. They were having it a fancy place that was very expensive, so nobody wanted to go there. I did go to the bar the night before, a lot of people were there.
The only thing I really remember about it was one guy that was a bit of a loser in high school showed up with a really smokin hot wife. People speculated on whether she was really his wife or if he paid her to act as his wife. He spent the night complaining that he was “just a lowly plumber”. Then he killed himself 3 days later.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:34 am
Didn’t go to 10 or 20. I feel like I escaped that era, that place and want to keep the feeling. Also it was expensive! Money better spent on subways, street food and museums in NYC if you ask me.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:42 am
The honest truth is that I was “guilted” into going.. don’t ask how someone managed that one. I went. It sucked. I spent a hundred dollars and didn’t even get shoes out of it.
But I hated high school….. so go if you must, but beware of the fees associated with it. It can get really expensive.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:56 am
Nope.
Didn’t go.
Don’t care.
I also didn’t go to prom.
I still don’t care.
I’m a heartless bastard… aren’t I?
May 15th, 2008 at 7:59 am
I went to my 10th reunion which was 3 years ago, and had a BLAST! I was one of the girls who was teased and ridiculed by some of the popular girls….they didn’t show up. In fact, most people who did, I had some kind of friendship with, and we all wanted to see eachother. It was not what I expected at all.
I brought a photo album since my husband couldn’t be there. I reveled in telling people about my life, where I had been, what I had done. I was proud of my life, and I knew many of these people were surprised to see I was married longer than most of them, to the same person, happy, healthy and hey, I was with my best friend Nessa….we rocked that joint!
I went because I felt the need to vindicate my existance to myself and also to settle some issues about my self-esteem and mentality growing up. I creid tears of joy many times that night, and had many great conversations. I got to thank the man (who was a boy then) who verbally gave me the kick in the ass to become the woman I am today, and I think the best moment was thanking him, in front of everyone, and letting him know how his words of encouragement changed my life…
Britt, if you don’t feel the need to go to the reunion, don’t go. If you don’t want to see the people, don’t see them! but if you change your mind, do it. I bet you will have a different experience than you expected. I know I did!
May 15th, 2008 at 8:00 am
I did not go to my ten year reunion. I made the excuse that it was really inconvenient to go (it was), but in reality I just didn’t want to go. There was no reason for me to believe I would enjoy it. At that point I felt, you know what.. anybody I want to keep in touch with, I keep in touch with. At 10 years, it was too close. I still carried too many assumptions that high school had beaten in to me, too much negative self talk, too many ghosts. I felt like I had something to “prove”, that I should go to show them I wasn’t the same [insert label] as I had been. In the end, it wasn’t a good mindset.
My 20 year reunion is this summer, and I am going - and I’m really looking forward to it. (As you may have guessed, in the interim there’s been some therapy.) I’m really curious about what’s happened to everyone, how they’ve changed in the last 20 years, what neat and cool and interesting things have happened that I never would have guessed.
Facebook helped with this. I found a ton of people who I hadn’t seen in nearly 20 years and I found people have changed, done neat things, grown up. I carried this fear that everyone hated me, that I would go to the reunion and be shunned. Now I realize that everyone has the same fear, and in reality everyone just wants to get together, have a beer, talk about old parties and see what’s happened to everyone. I’m cool with that.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:31 am
i went to a rather large city high school. my 10 year reunion was fun and exhausting. i was thrilled to see so many people and spent the entire night squealing, “oh my gawd! it is so nice to see you!” just as i would get into a conversation someone else would walk up and the whole “oh my gawd, it is so nice to see you!” thing would happen and i would be rude to the person who i was just thrilled to see a moment ago by abruptly ending our conversation. turns out that i was all kinds of rude when i didn’t even mean to be.
regardless, it was a fun night. but i can see why for a bunch of people a high school wouldn’t be. i can’t tell you what you should do in this situation, unless you want the obvious “follow your gut” comment. sorry.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:32 am
Silly is an understatement!
May 15th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Britt, I’m 43. I loved high school, but I have NEVER been to a reunion. I have no interest in seeing any of those people. Why? I really don’t know. I figured if they care about me, or I cared about them, we would have kept in contact all these years, right? My BFF still lives there and I’m going to visit HER in July, and she is really the only person I care about enough to make that 10 hour drive.
So, if you are having doubts and aren’t excited? I say, don’t go!
May 15th, 2008 at 9:15 am
I didn’t go. For many reasons, the number one being I didn’t feel the need to prove to anyone what I had become.
My ex husband’s sister is a singer and she wrote a song about our high school reunion she went to and my favorite part she talks about how glad she is that she made it for much needed closure…
High school for me wasn’t torture, but I moved on from who I was then and I don’t need closure, I don’t need acceptance from those people, I don’t need to see them to know I have done better. I don’t think you do either, but it could be fun. Maybe?
May 15th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I didn’t have the good high school experience you did–I was pretty low on the social ladder. Or, really, the gum on the bottom of the social ladder, just about.
My 10 year would have involved airfare and a cash bar at a really dumpy party center in my tiny, rural hometown. At the time, soooo not worth the money.
I might go to my 20 if curiosity gets the best of me. But since I am not married nor have kids, I am considered “not successful” in the eyes of those losers. Even if I have a job I love and a Master’s degree and live in a major city. *sigh* Sorry, the bitter took over…
May 15th, 2008 at 9:26 am
I went to my 10th (eons ago…) and had a great time - but the trip was primarily an excuse to go visit my parents. I hadn’t been “home” in a long time. I don’t plan to attend future reunions though just for the fact that I DO keep in touch with the people that matter most to me. The rest of the people…well, I might be missing something, but I’m willing to take that chance. ;)
May 15th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Peeptoe slingbacks and a strappy sundress (with a pushup bra). And GQ model on your arm.
I didn’t go to my reunion because I never got the invitation. Apparently they couldn’t find me even though I live about 10 feet from where I did in high school. Had I gotten an invitation I probably wouldn’t have gone anyway — clearly these people are morons.
And, like Avi, I simply wasn’t interested in most of the people that I went to high school with.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Don’t you think the people you’ll see at your reunion are having similar thoughts to yours right now? Feeling a little insecure or wondering how the others will see them.
You can’t go with that attitude. It’s a reunion, not a contest. There will undoubtedly be some shallow people present, but I found when I went to my 25th reunion a couple of years ago, the majority just wanted to catch up and have a good time.
Linda~
P.S. Alcohol helps!
May 15th, 2008 at 10:26 am
I’ve never been invited to mine, but I wouldn’t have gone anyway….went to my husbands, since we live in the same town he graduated in it was all the same people we usually hang out with anyway and we had a picnic type deal with all the kids, that was kinda fun.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:42 am
It sounds like I was the same girl in high school as you. My 10th was five days after the birth of my second babe. I went because there was no Guinness in my house. We stayed until the small talk made us sick…20 minutes. I had two pints, saw a few people, and it was stupid. It was like high school, but in a bar. Everybody had something to prove, and really, all I had to show for myself were dark circles, enormous boobs, and pants that didn’t fit.
I got my buzz on, went home, nursed the baby and actually hadn’t given it a thought in three years until you mentioned it today.
Hang with your mom.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:45 am
The best part of going to a class reunion is talking to some random person you barely knew in high school. (I know, not a big selling point.)
Our reunions are pretty good. Almost everyone gets along and there isn’t a whole lot of drama.
Another thing, the longer it goes, most of the assholes are humbled somehow. Life has a way of doing that.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:46 am
my 10 year reunion was last year. I did not go.
The reason I didn’t go is because I hated those years. HATED. I had enough friends and some are even better friends now than they were then. However, I did not like most of the hundreds of people at my school. Actually to be quite honest, I only liked about 5. Really it was pointless to attend. I know I would be annoyed and pissed 15 minutes in.
My junior and senior years were different than my classmates. I had a kid (and actually kept him, which wasn’t the trend then….) I guess all my priorities changed and I grew up over night. I bet that half my class still isn’t “grown up”.
I hope that if you do go you have fun!!!
May 15th, 2008 at 10:47 am
You should go. I traveled across country to go to mine (I didn’t actually graduate from there but attended that school from 1st through 9th grade). It was a blast, I wish they had one every year. I wasn’t even popular at school, but it was very much fun to see everyone.
May 15th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Creed and Adam make me laugh!
Baby, there are a lot of fun things to do and see. I wouldn’t spend money, say, to go to a taping of Roadshow Antiques. Or whatever that’s called. Or um. A baby shower. I hate baby showers. Or a lot of things.
Why go if it doesn’t interest you? It’s not all convoluted and metaphysical and horribly significant. If you think it would be dumb and not fun, why spend the money?
Save for our trip to Montreal instead!
ROAD TRIP TO NASHVILLE!
May 15th, 2008 at 11:00 am
My class couldn’t get organized enough for a 10th so we had a 13th.
Biggest waste of time ever.
I don’t even like those people. Anyone I cared about from my class I stayed in touch with. I don’t fit in with those people, I fit in with the people who were in classes ahead and behind me. If there’s ever one of those parties I’ll go, but I’m never bothering with another Class of 1992 reunion.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:19 am
@Dawg: I didn’t go to prom either! YAY!
And I was asked by boys. Multiple boys. Boys who were very sad when I said NO.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:20 am
I couldn’t care and I am going onto a possible 20 year one. That hurts to be able to say 20 years ago… Le Sigh.
May 15th, 2008 at 11:23 am
no, i did not. i’ve never been to any of my reunions. i guess it costs a lot to go to Hawaii but beyond even that, i made no serious bonds with anyone in my class while there. none of those relationships have endured. i just didn’t see the point
May 15th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
…and i didn’t go to prom either.
May 15th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I went to 3 different high schools and graduated one year early. I did not go to any of my reunions. I have this weird thing where I always think no one will remember me. It isn’t true, my husband teases me about it all the time because I never think anyone would remember me and when they do I am always surprised.
Good luck deciding if you want to go or not. If you don’t care to see anyone there, maybe spend the time/money doing something fun that you DO want to do instead?
May 15th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
I did not go to my 10 year reunion because, well, it’s sort of like you said–I’m not the person those people remember. I won’t go into the horrendous experience that was high school (though my closest friends now are the same closest friends I had then, go figure) but yeah–why set myself up to be that person again, even for a few hours (though in my town reunions usually last a whole weekend)?
May 15th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I did not go to my 10 year, and I think I recently got notice that they were skipping a 15 year. The reason I didn’t go - It was frickin’ expensive. I remember dinner being $74 each, and then there was a contact book, and a few other things they wanted people to purchase. Then there would be airfare, but I would have stayed with my mom so room and board wasn’t an issue. But when I told my mom I didn’t want to go, she said wait for 20 years. At the 10 year, it still is a lot of showing off.
Later, I looked at how it went on Reunion.com. I was SO glad I didn’t go. Everyone still seemed to be stuck in that high school mentality. It seemed like people fell right back into their cliques, and I was the ugly nerd girl so I had no clique. I didn’t really have problems in high school. I actually liked high school. But that doesn’t mean I wanted to hang out with the people who probably wouldn’t remember who I was anyway.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Also, I thought today’s post was going to be about bad cooking and/or vaginas.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
avitable: no, you don’t value people just based on the fact that People Have Intrinsic Value.
You value what people mean to you.
RW: I had a blast at my five year too. And I wouldn’t want to go be a “bigger” person. Yuck. God I hope I’ve grown beyond THAT shit.
Nobody™: so what you’re saying is, if I DON’T go, I could save someone’s life. Right?
PocketCT: yeah, that’s kind of what I’m thinking too. If it was free - meh, no biggie. But alas, it is not.
ADW: yeah, the expense is definitely part of the issue.
Wait. You can be guilted into stuff?
So I can… say… guilt you to ditch that stupid ol’ 4th of July party that IS NOT EVEN ON THE 4TH OF JULY!?!?
NYCWD: you are probably the least heartless person I know.
You’re, um, heartful.
Cissa Fireheart: yeah, see, I don’t have that need to validate myself. I prefer to spend all of my time thinking about what *I* think of me these days. LOL
zchamu: I think maybe I should wait until I get to the “curious” point.
hello haha narf: you would have fun anywhere you went. Because you are awesome like that.
Mindy: I’m nothing if not understated.
Robina: yeah, my BFF still lives there too. And she’s coming to see ME in June.
debkitty: exactly. I don’t NEED closure. It wasn’t torture, it was just part of my past. You’re so smart.
wafelenbak: well, I think your story is amazing and fabulous. For what it’s worth.
Melissa: yep, going “home” was a big motivator for me. Except I’d be back for one weekend and spending half of that with basic strangers.
That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it?
Finn: oh please don’t ever compare yourself to Avi again. You’re better than that.
Linda~: oh yeah, I know that is TOTALLY normal. It’s also pretty stereotypical how people respond in those situations.
I met up with a few classmates over Christmas break and *ugh* the incessant “my life is AMAZING” (literally, word for word what was said) was just… bizarre.
~jtm: now that does sound like fun.
Pamela: so wait.. you drink Guiness? I thought that was strictly a boy drink.
ajooja: yeah, I think if I was already going to be in town anyone, that part would be interesting.
themuttprincess: yeah, if I had had the experience you did, I wouldn’t go back either. What’s the point?
neo: well, there goes my expense excuse…
Britt’s Mom: you’re the best mom ever, you know that?
Poppy: a 13th year reunion? Well fuck, I’d stay away from that just on PRINCIPLE.
And am I the only blogger who went to prom 3 years? With a date?
Zanthera: oh don’t let 20 hurt you. Shit, 40 is the new 20!
Crys: you didn’t go to prom!??! OK - that surprises me.
radioactive girl tori: I do that same thing! I NEVER think anyone will remember me or know who I am and I am always FLOORED when someone does.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Erin: even though highschool wasn’t horrendous for me, I’m still not the same person. And thank GOD - right?
Lynda: so what you’re saying is, I owe you a Cooking Vagina post?
May 15th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Ha! Nah, I think this was universally interesting enough.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I’m with you on the lack of desire to go to a reunion. Not because I’m disappointed in my life, but why the hell would I want to spend the evening with people I never really hung out with and make small talk with women (and men) who still think they’re great while living at home with Mom and Dad?
That, and it’s ain’t cheap going up north.
I’ll take whats behind Door Number Two.
May 15th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I went to the 10 year. The only difference between that one and HS was that the boys looked like men. Now for some reason I’m on the committee to plan the 20th which is this summer. I don’t know how it happened since nobody knows who the hell I am. I think it’s because I can a. use a computer and b. am local and c. am a total sucker and live next to the class president who I became friends with a few years ago. Mostly it’s that I’m a total sucker.
Anyway, the 20th is supposed to be one of the best. 20 years is a long time and a lot can happen, like “Mr. Popular” being sent to prison (bwahahaha…), “Ms. Bitchface” getting totally fat(bwahahaha), and “Mr. Nerd” becoming “Mr. Stud”(Yeah baby!). All of which has happened with my class. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s fascinating to see what people have become.
At the very least, there are the cocktails and a night out with the husband sans children. That’s always good.
I say if your still local go, and if your not…wait for the 15th or the 20th.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I have to drink Guinness because liquor in any quantity makes me vomit like 89 people with the flu. It is my burden in this life.
And a cooking vagina piece would be fabulous.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I went to the same school first thru tenth grade. My parents divorced and I went to two different schools the last two years. I don’t go to those because I made no connections there. I was bitter about the moves and just didn’t care to. I don’t go to the other one because I am the same as radioactive girl tori I wonder if any one will remember me. Not sure why I feel that way since I was the only girl in school with a purple mohawk.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I went to mine. And I enjoyed it. But hell, I don’t think I’d have gone if it had been that far away and required me to spend that much money.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I went to my 20th this past November and although it wasn’t horrible, I could have thought of many more things that I would have rather done with the money (and mine only cost $100, since I am stil local).
But what Kellyology said is correct…you do get a little chuckle when you see that the most popular girl is now fat & ugly, the class stud is balding, etc.
But after 20 minutes of that, I got mad at myself for being just as petty as they were back in school.
Most of the people that I really wanted to see weren’t there anyway, but I’ve managed to track them down through mutual frieds. The only way that I’m going to any future reunions is if they are there!
May 15th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
It took me so long to get here beause I wanted to think about what to say.
High school was not the greatest for me. Yes I had fun —I was in band and drama and glee club and I had friends. But there was a lot about my high school that was isolating and very much intended to “keep one in one’s place.
So going back for my 10 year reunion was interesting to me. I sort of wanted to see if my ‘betters’ had in fact turned out to be ‘better’.
The first night was weird and very much the same cliques hanging in very much the same way they had always done. Ugh –they even looked about the same as they had in high school. No one was mingling with anyone.I would have driven the two hours back to Lexington the next morning except that I had already paid for the dinner/dance the next night.
I had to talk myself into going back. The $35 bucks was a LOT to me considering what I was making then. And I had borrowed my sister’s electric blue suede dress which was kinda backless. My hair turned out great and I looked well–hawt. And for some reason I just felt compelled to show them I had turned out pretty damn fine. That makes me laugh now.
At dinner they passed around a mic and had everyone introduce themselves and what they were doing. I was one of only two attorneys. The other was a woman as well. So many people were stuck in the rut of the same lives their parents had. Eeek.
All sorts of people came up to me after that and commented on how much I had changed and how they had not recognized me and how I looked so good and blah blah blah. Suddenly I was ‘one of them’ One of the former ‘popular’ girls actually took her husband by the arms and pulled him away as he was talking to me. I laughed.
I had the BEST time the rest of the evening. I laughed and danced and eventually made out until early in the morning with a cute guy I had been buddies with in band. We discussed our new found ‘popularity’ and promised to stay in touch–we didn’t.
It was fun and I’m glad I went that one time. I’ve gotten the notices for the 20th and the(omg) 30th and I just delete them.
That’s a LOT of money for something you are ambivalent about sugar. That should be a factor.
May 15th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
My 10 year was 4 years ago - I didn’t go and am regretting it, well, not at all. I am, like a lot of others, still in contact with the ones that matter and the others? I wouldn’t know most of them if I passed them on the street.
I would like to be damn successful when I go to the 20th though. Otherwise I’m ‘borrowing’ someone else’s life for the night.
May 15th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
It’s not for everyone…. I say instead of going, since you know you have no reason to, do something special with your family instead! or start saving for TequilaCon2009 or BrittCon 2009! :)
May 15th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I wasn’t invited to my 10 year, and neither was a large chunk of our class. Our ten year involved unlimited drinks in a seedy bar downtown. Oh and I was 6 months pg,so I guess it was good I wasn’t invited.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Not sure whether you should go? I’ve got two words for you, babe:
BLOG. FODDER.
May 15th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
I did not go because I have not kept in touch with one single person from high school. In other words, I do not care about them and I’m sure the feeling is mutual. What would be the point?
May 15th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
I didn’t go to my 10th, but was on the committee for both my 20th and my 25th (which was last summmer). The general consensus was that the 10 year was still a ’show of keeping up with the Jones’ and still a bit shallow.
However, by the 2oth, people were really all down to earth, much more comfortable in their own skins, and all had a serious desire to reconnect with others.
(I say..go for it.) :)
Btw - I have tagged you for a meme.
(Given that I think you think deeply on some things, I was intrigued and wondered if you’re up for the challenge of it.)
It’s not like you’ve got *ANYTHING* else to do right now!! *said while pondering NYC trip!*
Check out my site for it.
:)
~ZZ
May 15th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I am in contact with my high school best friend. In face, she reads and comments on my blog from time to time. She’s the only fellow Black Eagle I care about. The rest? Can go fuck themselves. I have absolutely no desire to see people who didn’t care about me 18 years ago (18?!?!? Christ on a bike…) and vice versa.
It used to drive me nuts when my parents would call me and say, “Insert high school flunkie name here said to tell you hi!” and my response was always, “Why are they telling me hi now when they never gave me the time of day in high school?”
If those people want to catch up with me, there’s the internet. If you know my maiden name, it’s easy to find me and where I live. Otherwise, no amount of money, self-satisfaction, or “look - she’s still thin” will get me to go to my 20th.
No. Fucking. Way.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
$1,200 is whack of cash. If this is something you really want to do then do it… (And if you decide Montreal, Quebec City or Toronto… I’ll drive up and meet you for drinks.)
I cut myself off from all things high school after I graduated. I sort of got on with my life. Not much there I care about really. I saw the photos though… that was the best part.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I’ve gone to 2 of my reunions (20 and 30 - or was it 25 and 35?) and only a few of my friends from high school showed up which made it kind of, oh, ho-hum.
On the other hand, I went with RW to 2 of his reunions(we attended the same school, I was one year behind him)and I had a great time. We re-connected with someone he was in Thespians with and we see her and her husband on a regular basis for dinners, whatever. If we hadn’t gone to the reunion we would’ve missed out on what’s turned out to be a great friendship.
May 15th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Wow, just wow. I didn’t realize that so many people were so bitter about the people that they went to high school with. I went to my 10th, 20th, and even 30th. (Insert hysterical laughter at the old lady.) I viewed all of them as a chance to have fun. To me there is no such thing as a price on having fun…it’s what I live for. I ‘connected’ with people who were just aquaintances in high school. They have become wonderful friends. Just like I said about NYC…GO, DO IT. Be the belle of the ball and have fun for me.
May 15th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Nope. I was out at a bar down the street celebrating my baby brother’s 21st birthday, steadfastly avoiding anyone from my high school, simply because: I don’t golf. I have never belonged to a country club. I don’t shop at Abercrombie and Finch. I never hung out with those people and I have never had the urge to.
However, you should come home, and swing by IC to hang out with me!
May 16th, 2008 at 1:15 am
I think the only people that actually want to go to these things are the ones organising it and the ones that can gloat about something.
Mine was held down the road from me. I didn’t go. I couldn’t care less about those people that were supposedly my friends in highschool. I still see one friend, but I grew a brain and realised that those ‘friends’ were not my friends afterall, just a group of people holding on to each other and trying to convince the world that we were awesome. Bletch.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:38 am
Meh. I just got an email today about my 30th. I’m not really interested. I went to the 5, but I still lived in my hometown then. It was boring, but a lot of them were impressed with me. I had stuff they didn’t have. I was single with money to spend. They were mostly finishing college, out of dough, and/or were already married and kid-strapped. I was on my way to San Francisco for the weekend that day. They were envious. I didn’t give a shit.
I’m far removed from them now. Most of them stayed in Salinas. Those that didn’t moved to the Silicon Valley or the Bay Area. I think I’m the only one in SoCal. From a few things I’ve seen on my MySpace and Classmates, they are all curious about the one who moved to Orange County. I was an alien to them then, and I am now. So… not gonna spend the $. I’d rather go to Avitable’s Halloween party.
Take your own advice in the BrittCon post. Just do the things you’ve always wanted to do. If that doesn’t include showing them how handsome your husband is, how cute your kids are, and well you’re doing… then don’t go.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:51 am
I didn’t go to my 10th. Didn’t care to. I went through a spurt a while back of feeling nostalgic and wanting to reconnect via Facebook and others with people from my past (i.e. high school), and then I realized that those same people I was trying to reconnect with gave about as much of a shit about me now as they did then - none. In a way, THAT was kind of like revisiting high school: “please, I know I was a dork, but please be my friend… again?” Ugh. Not pretty.
I might go to, say, my 40th, just out of curiosity. But in the meantime, I’m investing that time and money in the people who care about me now.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:54 am
My 10 year was last September. I obsessed about it for the prior 18 months, then chickened out. Heh. Then I saw pics and wished I would have gone because I was so the geek and I look so much better now then the people I went to HS with….there’s always the 20th. :)
May 16th, 2008 at 7:33 am
I did not go to my reunion. I harbor no ill will toward high school or my former classmates at all. I just didn’t want to go. No desire whatsoever.
May 16th, 2008 at 7:50 am
There are only two people I’d like to see from my high school, and I still see them anyway (though not as much as I might like).
Oh, hang on though… that’s the pupils. I wouldn’t mind seeing a few of the teachers again. The ones who were good and encouraging, I’d thank. And the bastards…
May 16th, 2008 at 8:35 am
OH, I feel your pain! I did not go last year. A) I didn’t feel like being labeled already divorced and remarried.
B) The cost of the trip back home because seriously, no carriers fly to small town Iowa.
C) Just because.
I see maybe a handful of people on the times when I do go home. We happen to run into eachother or whatever, but since they are still around, they are still the same. They don’t get why you are proud that you left, and you are doing great.
And, surprisingly enough after hearing about the blessed event, a lot of people apparently felt the same way because just over 30 people out of our 125 class mates attended!
May 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
I live in small town Iowa and for a fraction of the price I would go and take pictures for you so it would be just like you were there!
May 16th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
My 10 year ended up being much more fun than I expected. I went back and forth on whether to fly up there to visit, mostly because of the cost, but it was well worth it.
May 16th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
My ten year reunion is this year. I haven’t heard anything about it yet though. Maybe I’ve finally moved enough times that they can’t find me.
I have no idea if I’d bother to go or not. Old classmates keep finding me through Facebook and try to send me “Hey, how are you!” emails and I just look at the picture and the name and go, “Seriously, who the hell are you? Are you sure we went to school together?”
Clearly they were important to me.
May 16th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Didn’t go to 5 and didn’t go to 10 either. I might go to the next one, but I’m sort of in the Avitable camp with this one. I talk to pretty much no one. Now a college reunion? That would be all kinds of fun.
You hit the nail on the head about high school and how people might see you. I’m the big permed hair girl who sucked in math class, dated a boy from another school so as to avoid school “drama” and never went to any of the drinking parties so therefore was not the “in” crowd either.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I went to my 10 year reunion and was sorely disappointed. Not so much because of not caring about people or anything like that, but because not enough of them had CHANGED to make them any more interesting. I was a lot like you describe yourself in high school, so I wasn’t afraid to go or felt like I had to prove anything to anybody. It just seemed so anti-climactic to see the same old people doing the same old things, only with a few extra pounds tacked on or more facial hair. I had a couple of people tell me that I looked the exact same (wasn’t quite sure how to take that, so I assumed it was a compliment). But the cliques all gathered together, and the band geeks all gathered together, and the jocks, and the brainiacs, and the pot-heads….it was just the same thing but fast-forwarded 10 years.
I went to my 20th and THAT was interesting…major changes had taken place. So, if you’re going to spend $1200 for 36 hours…wait another few years and hit your 15 or 20 year reunion.
May 19th, 2008 at 8:06 pm