This conversation may or may not have recently been overheard in a bowling alley somewhere in Central Florida…
Husband (channeling Beavis): Heh. Look at your score. Heh.
Wife: Yes, I know. You’re beating me. Again.
Husband: Heh. Heh. No. Look.
Wife: (rolling my her eyes right out my her head) Oh Jesus. What are you, 12?
Husband: Heh. heh.
Wife: Yeah. I get it. I have 69 points. 69. I get it.
Husband: Heh. Heh.
Wife: And no, by the way.
Husband: I was just…
Wife: No. Look, I don’t like your ass in my face.
Husband: Uh, actually..
Wife: No. Seriously. I’m sorry, I’ve been meaning to tell you this. I love you, I do. But I do not want to look at your asshole.
Husband: No, you don’t under…
Wife: I’m sorry. It’s not you. You? Very cute. It’s just – ew. And if you’re down there and I have to look directly into your asshole – it just ruins the whole mood for me.
Husband: That’s not…
Wife: Please don’t be offended. That’s just too close to a rectum for me. OK?
Husband: Honey. You’re supposed to be on top.
Wife: I- Um.
Wife: *
Wife: *
Wife: But then you have to…
Wife: *
Wife: *
*light bulb*
Wife: Ohhhhhhhhh.
Why does no one tell me a person these things?
Popularity: 3% [?]
Posted in Love and Marriage Tagged: humor, marriage, relationships, sex
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a tard that wife was! I mean . . ummmm . . . it’s a mistake I can see anyone making . . . yesss, that’s what I meant . . .
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Aaaand, these are the kinds of things I can NOT post on my own blog. So, thanks for doing that for me. I’m laughing myself silly.
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Why the fuck don’t I get it?
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…then the nun in the next lane over fainted; and that, children, is the story of why Sister Mary Catherine canceled the orphanage’s weekly Bowling Night.
Rattling the Kettle’s last blog post..Piss Off!
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Nobody tells any of us these things. We all have to learn from movies, just like everyone else.
Jay’s last blog post..PFC #3 …
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Heh heh heh… we’re blog twins today! I got 69′d as well, but not at the bowling alley… at the DMV (of all places).
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Why don’t you ask ME these things? What ELSE am I here for? :slaphead:
AmyD’s last blog post..Love In The Real World
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Holy Crap! Are you serious? I never knew, and I’m not kidding. No womder breathing was so difficult!
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I meant wonder.
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I missed something… :dunno:
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Funny! And totally agree.
Ok, Where Was I?’s last blog post..The Panic Attack Sufferer’s Guide to Self Diagnosis: MS Edition
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Now that explains why I always get a crick in my neck. I was 69′d today too – at the Deli in the cold meats section. I ordered a nice chunk of salami.
Selma’s last blog post..A Little Bit About Me
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DaDuck’s last blog post..C it ain’t so bad
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Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That was a priceless conversation. Thanks for sharing that Babe!!! Pffffttt, hahahahahahahaha
DutchBitch’s last blog post..Quote of the Day
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Funny post! Damn! I had visions of rectums through out that whole post!
Ewwww.
~ZZ
Greeneyezz’s last blog post..Hail Caesar!!!
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Have you ever actually even had sex?
Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Meet my answer to LOL Cats
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I love you. :lmao:
Marissa’s last blog post..I should be in therapy
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It’s so much easier with women… Not all that junk hanging in your face… :angel: :blush: :secret:
Incurable Insomniac’s last blog post..Tired As All Gedunk
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LMAO! Unfortunately I can hear this entire conversation in my head!
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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :heartbeat:
Turnbaby’s last blog post..Belle Abuse
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avitable: I know, clearly she should be educating herself better through ridiculously unhealthy amounts of porn.
Belinda: I’m pretty sure these are the types of things no one should ever post on their blog. Ever.
Peggy: ummmm… because I’m a bad story teller?
Try thinking visually.
Rattling the Kettle: And Jesus wept. Amen.
Jay: I am watching the wrong movies.
Dave2: ah baby, we’re forever linked now through 69.
Uh… wait…
AmyD: it never came up!
Mary: :lmao:
Tori: damn it.
Ok, Where Was I?: you agree? With my retardedness?
Selma: I am here to heal your cricks.
DaDuck:
DutchBitch: just a typical day in the neighborhood.
Greeneyezz: see? And that is not fun, is it?
Mr. Fabulous: Of course I have! Twice, in fact.
Marissa: aw, thanks. I feel like we should hug now.
Incurable Insomniac: you make a valid point.
Kristin: I’m sure it adds a whole new dimension to this post. LOL
Turnbaby: :nana:
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The girl goes on top?
mg:
Finn’s last blog post..The Timeless Art Of Seduction
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Well, that’s one way of doing it… And I know how much you enjoy it when I continue my trains of thought about sex so I’ll stop there.
Jared’s so sweet, taking one for the team so he gets what he wants!
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HA! This reminds me of my first sexual/math joke – heard at a bowling alley in Huntsville, Alabama, told to me by the head of the physics department at UAH.
“What’s the square root of 69?”
“Eight-something”
Gets me everytime!
GOD I’m a geek…
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..Site Meter Silliness
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Oh Jesus baby. CLOSE YOUR EYES! In fact, close them throughout most of anything that has clothes off!!!!!!!!!
Britt’s Mom’s last blog post..I’m Scared. I’m Really Scared.
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That was funny. I think I need to stop bowling on my Wii and get out to the local bowling alley.
Linda~
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woman, you never cease to crack me open. that was hilarious. although i promise i am laughing WITH you, not at you, k? coz we all have fun sexcapades to share.
p.s. i absoultely love your momma’s comment! hehe
hello haha narf’s last blog post..Photos and General Recap – Kentucky Edition
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Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!! “Too close to a rectum for me!” I was dying. How are you SO lucky that you got hear that?????
Robina’s last blog post..Mary Mary Quite Contraray
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I don’t believe this happened. I don’t. I can’t. The wife can’t really be that dumb, or I might cry.
Captain Steve’s last blog post..Form the Wall!
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First of all, I love your mom’s comment. Second of all love Coal Miner’s Daughter’s comment.
Third of all, love your post of course because I knew exactly what you were talking about because I refuse to get on top so the only way we do it is the way you were talking about. TMI? Yeah, I know. You started it.
Sleeping Mommy’s last blog post..selective hearing
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I’ve been married too long to worry about being down anywhere.
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Damn it! I have been doing it wrong! :slaphead:
Mindy’s last blog post..Must make the noises stop….
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Hahahaha! Thank gawd we have bowling alley conversations to overhear.
craze’s last blog post..A little pre-party planning
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You are too cute and funny!
Haven’t you ever watched porno?
:heartbeat:
themuttprincess’s last blog post..HAPPY Hump Day
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are there women out there who actually *like* 69’s?? to me they seem so, um, cumbersome…;)
ali’s last blog post..blissfully happy
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I knew that, but I think you still have the viewing the asshole problem.
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I have these kinda conversations with my husband often!
debkitty’s last blog post..I Feel Violated and Angry
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Oh my. Can my Britt be that naive? That’s so refreshing.
Karl’s last blog post..100 Things About Karl, Part Four
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Trishk’s last blog post..Is There Wine in Heaven? And Will I Get Some?
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I don’t think there are specific rules – you can go both ways. But since you have such a genuine preference…. I think that seals the deal.
So how was it?
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Oh so funny! Not a big fan of the 69 either. Too much concentrating and not enough fun. But, hey, that’s just me.
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HAHAHAHA!!! I even read this to Misk and he laughed his ass off too!
Cissa Fireheart’s last blog post..It was ladies night, oh what a night!
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Finn: yes. And after thinking about this alot, I’ve realized that makes a hell of a lot more sense.
Poppy: thank you – you know I cannot handle the thought of anyone but ME having sex.
I don’t know why that is.
CMG:
OH man, I’m so pissed. The only person I know who would appreciate this as much as me is my 8 year old son.
Britt’s Mom: I am in an interesting place right now.
Half way between pissing myself with hilarity. And deep, deep trauma.
Linda~: especially if you’re in Central Florida.
hello haha narf: I promise you’re laughing WITH me too. I’m a tool.
Robina: oh, heh, um… good timing I guess. :dunno:
Captain Steve: hey! who you callin’ dumb?!?!
I mean. Um. YEAH! I KNOW! :dunce:
Sleeping Mommy:
OMG. OMG. TMI if it wasn’t so entirely awesome of you to share. 
Angie: you people, you have me snorting here. Seriously.
Sweetie, we need to talk.
Mindy: me too!!
I mean – hypothetically.
craze: I know, I know.
themuttprincess: once. And it wasn’t that kind, apparently.
ali: I tend to agree. I’m too easily distracted. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.
Maria: now you have me thinking again…
debkitty: we should have a BBQ.
Karl: why is that naive?!?! You know, some of us aren’t just BORN knowing this shit!
Fucker.
Trishk:
claudia hall christian: dude – my MOM reads this blog! :secret:
buddysnuddys: that makes, at last count, three of us. w00t!
Cissa Fireheart: I’m glad I am promoting sharing.
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I’m a dork. Just realized why Dave posted a picture of his number at the DMV. Need more coffee.
And I am SO relieved to know that someone else who is deeply and passionately in love with her man cannot have her face next to his asshole. Him? LOVE. His asshole? Notsomuch.
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Dude. :wha: That’s kind of…sad.
Tracy Lynn’s last blog post..Post 691: You Have To SEE Your Toes To BE Your Toes
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That whole anal bleaching thing suddenly makes sense.
Honeybell’s last blog post..An Open Letter To The Brother I Wish I Didn’t Have – Part I
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I spotted the title to your post on A Life Less Ordinary and just had to stop by and read. Thank you for the giggle! I needed it today.
Heather’s last blog post..In honor of Uncle Gary
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I bet the wife and the husband went home and 69′d!
Right?
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omigod, i don’t know what is making me laugh harder, the post or the comments.
i wish i could be witty too. but alas, i am only a half-wit.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..More cranky — with a little sick thrown in for good measure
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I don’t get it. I really want to, but I don’t.
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I’m convinced that the only reason men like 69′ing is because it gets their part over with quicker so that they can get to the post-sex nap
Mindi’s last blog post..They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong!
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You know I am a guy and I watch my fair share of porn (http://youtube.com/watch?v=T-TA57L0kuc&feature=related) but I always assumed it was like cheerleader pyramids… put the smallest person on top. So it was news to me too! Does it help getting a lil more 69 action?
Oh yeah… Why does he seem to know so much more about sex than you?
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Um… seriously? PICK UP THE LATEST COSMO. I think I understood the inner workings of the 69 by junior high. (But NOT from first hand experience, though.)
Speaking of buttholes, am I the only one who did not get invited to the Sony Mommy Blogger Event in So. CA? I mean, seriously.
I guess they can’t handle all of THIS.
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Oh boy !!!either I’m a total slut or I have had too much to drink before the 69, 751/2, and the piroutte with a sliiiiide and a twist, or maybe its just too much booze and lube .
Anyway, thank you all for making me feel like a slut !!
That’ll be $20 please. Each .
Cept for you B, that’s your lesson fund. Haha
Plus when I really start working harder on my blog I all need your advice so think of that as layaway!!!
Have a good night hope you uhm….. Knock all the pins down!!!
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This is why I don’t let my children into bowling alleys. All you dirty, dirty people.
maggie, dammit’s last blog post..Am I doing it all wrong?
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Ok, can we talk logistics though? Yes, woman can go on top and then there is a clear butt view. But if a man’s on top, his junk is in the front so you can’t really see his butt.
Ok, too much information. Ummm, I don’t really know this stuff for a fact either…I just heard it somewhere. :angel:
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Why is it all the men are chuckling and all the women are scratching their heads. I don’t get it either!! And quite clearly, because of that, neither does my husband. Heh heh.
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68 is where it’s at for females or males….you do me and I’ll owe you 1
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hahahahahahahahahaha!
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That’s a good point, Marney, but I think my junk sorta resents being called “junk.”
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:wtf: HA!!!! It took me a second to get it. Personally, I love being suffocated by a pair of balls while looking into an asshole! :disco:
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