This conversation may or may not have recently been overheard in a bowling alley somewhere in Central Florida…
Husband (channeling Beavis): Heh. Look at your score. Heh.
Wife: Yes, I know. You’re beating me. Again.
Husband: Heh. Heh. No. Look.
Wife: (rolling my her eyes right out my her head) Oh Jesus. What are you, 12?
Husband: Heh. heh.
Wife: Yeah. I get it. I have 69 points. 69. I get it.
Husband: Heh. Heh.
Wife: And no, by the way.
Husband: I was just…
Wife: No. Look, I don’t like your ass in my face.
Husband: Uh, actually..
Wife: No. Seriously. I’m sorry, I’ve been meaning to tell you this. I love you, I do. But I do not want to look at your asshole.
Husband: No, you don’t under…
Wife: I’m sorry. It’s not you. You? Very cute. It’s just - ew. And if you’re down there and I have to look directly into your asshole - it just ruins the whole mood for me.
Husband: That’s not…
Wife: Please don’t be offended. That’s just too close to a rectum for me. OK?
Husband: Honey. You’re supposed to be on top.
Wife: I- Um.
Wife: *
Wife: *
Wife: But then you have to…
Wife: *
Wife: *
*light bulb*
Wife: Ohhhhhhhhh.
Why does no one tell me a person these things?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a tard that wife was! I mean . . ummmm . . . it’s a mistake I can see anyone making . . . yesss, that’s what I meant . . .
April 15th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Aaaand, these are the kinds of things I can NOT post on my own blog. So, thanks for doing that for me. I’m laughing myself silly.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Why the fuck don’t I get it?
April 16th, 2008 at 12:17 am
…then the nun in the next lane over fainted; and that, children, is the story of why Sister Mary Catherine canceled the orphanage’s weekly Bowling Night.
Rattling the Kettle’s last blog post..Piss Off!
April 16th, 2008 at 12:19 am
Nobody tells any of us these things. We all have to learn from movies, just like everyone else.
Jay’s last blog post..PFC #3 …
April 16th, 2008 at 12:22 am
Heh heh heh… we’re blog twins today! I got 69′d as well, but not at the bowling alley… at the DMV (of all places).
April 16th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Why don’t you ask ME these things? What ELSE am I here for?
AmyD’s last blog post..Love In The Real World
April 16th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Holy Crap! Are you serious? I never knew, and I’m not kidding. No womder breathing was so difficult!
April 16th, 2008 at 12:41 am
I meant wonder.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:41 am
I missed something…
April 16th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Funny! And totally agree.
Ok, Where Was I?’s last blog post..The Panic Attack Sufferer’s Guide to Self Diagnosis: MS Edition
April 16th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Now that explains why I always get a crick in my neck. I was 69′d today too - at the Deli in the cold meats section. I ordered a nice chunk of salami.
Selma’s last blog post..A Little Bit About Me
April 16th, 2008 at 1:38 am
DaDuck’s last blog post..C it ain’t so bad
April 16th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That was a priceless conversation. Thanks for sharing that Babe!!! Pffffttt, hahahahahahahaha
DutchBitch’s last blog post..Quote of the Day
April 16th, 2008 at 5:47 am
Funny post! Damn! I had visions of rectums through out that whole post!
Ewwww.
~ZZ
Greeneyezz’s last blog post..Hail Caesar!!!
April 16th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Have you ever actually even had sex?
Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Meet my answer to LOL Cats
April 16th, 2008 at 6:17 am
I love you.
Marissa’s last blog post..I should be in therapy
April 16th, 2008 at 7:09 am
It’s so much easier with women… Not all that junk hanging in your face…
Incurable Insomniac’s last blog post..Tired As All Gedunk
April 16th, 2008 at 7:45 am
LMAO! Unfortunately I can hear this entire conversation in my head!
April 16th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Turnbaby’s last blog post..Belle Abuse
April 16th, 2008 at 8:08 am
avitable: I know, clearly she should be educating herself better through ridiculously unhealthy amounts of porn.
Belinda: I’m pretty sure these are the types of things no one should ever post on their blog. Ever.
Peggy: ummmm… because I’m a bad story teller?
Try thinking visually.
Rattling the Kettle: And Jesus wept. Amen.
Jay: I am watching the wrong movies.
Dave2: ah baby, we’re forever linked now through 69.
Uh… wait…
AmyD: it never came up!
Mary:
Tori: damn it.
Ok, Where Was I?: you agree? With my retardedness?
Selma: I am here to heal your cricks.
DaDuck:
DutchBitch: just a typical day in the neighborhood.
Greeneyezz: see? And that is not fun, is it?
Mr. Fabulous: Of course I have! Twice, in fact.
Marissa: aw, thanks. I feel like we should hug now.
Incurable Insomniac: you make a valid point.
Kristin: I’m sure it adds a whole new dimension to this post. LOL
Turnbaby:
April 16th, 2008 at 9:05 am
The girl goes on top?
Finn’s last blog post..The Timeless Art Of Seduction
April 16th, 2008 at 9:35 am
Well, that’s one way of doing it… And I know how much you enjoy it when I continue my trains of thought about sex so I’ll stop there.
Jared’s so sweet, taking one for the team so he gets what he wants!
April 16th, 2008 at 9:50 am
HA! This reminds me of my first sexual/math joke - heard at a bowling alley in Huntsville, Alabama, told to me by the head of the physics department at UAH.
“What’s the square root of 69?”
“Eight-something”
Gets me everytime!
GOD I’m a geek…
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..Site Meter Silliness
April 16th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Oh Jesus baby. CLOSE YOUR EYES! In fact, close them throughout most of anything that has clothes off!!!!!!!!!
Britt’s Mom’s last blog post..I’m Scared. I’m Really Scared.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:09 am
That was funny. I think I need to stop bowling on my Wii and get out to the local bowling alley.
Linda~
April 16th, 2008 at 10:21 am
woman, you never cease to crack me open. that was hilarious. although i promise i am laughing WITH you, not at you, k? coz we all have fun sexcapades to share.
p.s. i absoultely love your momma’s comment! hehe
hello haha narf’s last blog post..Photos and General Recap - Kentucky Edition
April 16th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!! “Too close to a rectum for me!” I was dying. How are you SO lucky that you got hear that?????
Robina’s last blog post..Mary Mary Quite Contraray
April 16th, 2008 at 11:17 am
I don’t believe this happened. I don’t. I can’t. The wife can’t really be that dumb, or I might cry.
Captain Steve’s last blog post..Form the Wall!
April 16th, 2008 at 11:29 am
First of all, I love your mom’s comment. Second of all love Coal Miner’s Daughter’s comment.
Third of all, love your post of course because I knew exactly what you were talking about because I refuse to get on top so the only way we do it is the way you were talking about. TMI? Yeah, I know. You started it.
Sleeping Mommy’s last blog post..selective hearing
April 16th, 2008 at 11:32 am
I’ve been married too long to worry about being down anywhere.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Damn it! I have been doing it wrong!
Mindy’s last blog post..Must make the noises stop….
April 16th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Hahahaha! Thank gawd we have bowling alley conversations to overhear.
craze’s last blog post..A little pre-party planning
April 16th, 2008 at 11:55 am
You are too cute and funny!
Haven’t you ever watched porno?
themuttprincess’s last blog post..HAPPY Hump Day
April 16th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
are there women out there who actually *like* 69’s?? to me they seem so, um, cumbersome…;)
ali’s last blog post..blissfully happy
April 16th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I knew that, but I think you still have the viewing the asshole problem.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I have these kinda conversations with my husband often!
debkitty’s last blog post..I Feel Violated and Angry
April 16th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Oh my. Can my Britt be that naive? That’s so refreshing.
Karl’s last blog post..100 Things About Karl, Part Four
April 16th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Trishk’s last blog post..Is There Wine in Heaven? And Will I Get Some?
April 16th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I don’t think there are specific rules - you can go both ways. But since you have such a genuine preference…. I think that seals the deal.
So how was it?
April 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Oh so funny! Not a big fan of the 69 either. Too much concentrating and not enough fun. But, hey, that’s just me.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
HAHAHAHA!!! I even read this to Misk and he laughed his ass off too!
Cissa Fireheart’s last blog post..It was ladies night, oh what a night!
April 16th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Finn: yes. And after thinking about this alot, I’ve realized that makes a hell of a lot more sense.
Poppy: thank you - you know I cannot handle the thought of anyone but ME having sex.
I don’t know why that is.
CMG:
OH man, I’m so pissed. The only person I know who would appreciate this as much as me is my 8 year old son.
Britt’s Mom: I am in an interesting place right now.
Half way between pissing myself with hilarity. And deep, deep trauma.
Linda~: especially if you’re in Central Florida.
hello haha narf: I promise you’re laughing WITH me too. I’m a tool.
Robina: oh, heh, um… good timing I guess.
Captain Steve: hey! who you callin’ dumb?!?!
I mean. Um. YEAH! I KNOW!
Sleeping Mommy:
OMG. OMG. TMI if it wasn’t so entirely awesome of you to share. 
Angie: you people, you have me snorting here. Seriously.
Sweetie, we need to talk.
Mindy: me too!!
I mean - hypothetically.
craze: I know, I know.
themuttprincess: once. And it wasn’t that kind, apparently.
ali: I tend to agree. I’m too easily distracted. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.
Maria: now you have me thinking again…
debkitty: we should have a BBQ.
Karl: why is that naive?!?! You know, some of us aren’t just BORN knowing this shit!
Fucker.
Trishk:
claudia hall christian: dude - my MOM reads this blog!
buddysnuddys: that makes, at last count, three of us. w00t!
Cissa Fireheart: I’m glad I am promoting sharing.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
I’m a dork. Just realized why Dave posted a picture of his number at the DMV. Need more coffee.
And I am SO relieved to know that someone else who is deeply and passionately in love with her man cannot have her face next to his asshole. Him? LOVE. His asshole? Notsomuch.
April 16th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Dude.
That’s kind of…sad. 
Tracy Lynn’s last blog post..Post 691: You Have To SEE Your Toes To BE Your Toes
April 16th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
That whole anal bleaching thing suddenly makes sense.
Honeybell’s last blog post..An Open Letter To The Brother I Wish I Didn’t Have - Part I
April 16th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I spotted the title to your post on A Life Less Ordinary and just had to stop by and read. Thank you for the giggle! I needed it today.
Heather’s last blog post..In honor of Uncle Gary
April 16th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I bet the wife and the husband went home and 69′d!
Right?
;)
April 16th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
omigod, i don’t know what is making me laugh harder, the post or the comments.
i wish i could be witty too. but alas, i am only a half-wit.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..More cranky — with a little sick thrown in for good measure
April 16th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I don’t get it. I really want to, but I don’t.
April 16th, 2008 at 7:21 pm
I’m convinced that the only reason men like 69′ing is because it gets their part over with quicker so that they can get to the post-sex nap
Mindi’s last blog post..They’re like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong!
April 16th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
You know I am a guy and I watch my fair share of porn (http://youtube.com/watch?v=T-TA57L0kuc&feature=related) but I always assumed it was like cheerleader pyramids… put the smallest person on top. So it was news to me too! Does it help getting a lil more 69 action?
Oh yeah… Why does he seem to know so much more about sex than you?
April 16th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Um… seriously? PICK UP THE LATEST COSMO. I think I understood the inner workings of the 69 by junior high. (But NOT from first hand experience, though.)
Speaking of buttholes, am I the only one who did not get invited to the Sony Mommy Blogger Event in So. CA? I mean, seriously.
I guess they can’t handle all of THIS.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Oh boy !!!either I’m a total slut or I have had too much to drink before the 69, 751/2, and the piroutte with a sliiiiide and a twist, or maybe its just too much booze and lube .
Anyway, thank you all for making me feel like a slut !!
That’ll be $20 please. Each .
Cept for you B, that’s your lesson fund. Haha
Plus when I really start working harder on my blog I all need your advice so think of that as layaway!!!
Have a good night hope you uhm….. Knock all the pins down!!!
April 16th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
This is why I don’t let my children into bowling alleys. All you dirty, dirty people.
maggie, dammit’s last blog post..Am I doing it all wrong?
April 17th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Ok, can we talk logistics though? Yes, woman can go on top and then there is a clear butt view. But if a man’s on top, his junk is in the front so you can’t really see his butt.
Ok, too much information. Ummm, I don’t really know this stuff for a fact either…I just heard it somewhere.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Why is it all the men are chuckling and all the women are scratching their heads. I don’t get it either!! And quite clearly, because of that, neither does my husband. Heh heh.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
68 is where it’s at for females or males….you do me and I’ll owe you 1
April 17th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
hahahahahahahahahaha!
April 19th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
That’s a good point, Marney, but I think my junk sorta resents being called “junk.”
April 20th, 2008 at 4:35 am