Remember when I had a houseful of tourists family and I asked a bunch of bloggers to send me guest posts to have stored up for an emergency?
Of course you do. I know. You keep careful track of everything that goes on at this blog.
ANYway, the guests are long gone, but I still have a small reserve of guests posts that I never had the opportunity to use (because I am the world’s greatest blog hostess). And now? I am suffering for my kindness. So, we’re going back to the vault.
Can you help the awesome hellhahanarf decide if she should help get her ex off?
I’ll let Becky explain….
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Hi, world wide internetz. You know me as hellohahanarf, the girl without a blog who loves to read and comment on others’ sites. The talented Miss Britt has graciously offered me the floor for a day, so please forgive my inexperience (in addition to any grammatical errors as they should be in no way be a negative reflection on my kind host). Good news is that I just got my own blog so next time she asks for the assist I might actually be accustomed to writing.
Ok, here I am, but what do I write about? Politics? (Nah, hate all the fuckers who lie to get into office.) My boobs? (Nope, too much to talk about and I only have one little post over here.) Education? (Since I don’t have kids I probably shouldn’t go there.) Global warming? (Since Mr. Gore invented the internet, I’ll save that for him to discuss with you.) So called reality television? (As much as I love plenty of it, I doubt you care about my TV habits.)
Wait…I have it. Something strange happened the other day and perhaps the residents of the Blogosphere can offer up some advice. Here goes…
A few years ago I dated a man, a very gorgeous man, who lived about a seven hour drive away from me. This beautiful man wouldn’t have known the truth if it bit him on the ass, but did I mention that he was attractive? And fun? Great fun! He had that bad boy quality that sometimes I crave. Anyhow, eventually it came out that every word that left his mouth was a lie. While he was telling the lies a small piece in the back of my mind knew he was full of shit, but at the time I chose to be happy that I was “on to him” and I somehow ignored the bullshit. When I caught him in a lie I felt a rush of superiority so I am not claiming to be without fault here, just telling you that I knew he was a liar and that I ignored if for the duration of our short relationship.
There were few things that he didn’t lie about. One of which was how much he loved being a father. The pride he exuded at being a good dad was evident from a mile away. Since I wasn’t about to marry him or have his babies, I tired quickly of him.
Fast forward a couple of years. His exgirlfriend of 9 years, the one he cheated on to be with me, is angry because he finally found happiness and married a young woman. (Insert small note here: After we had both dumped the guy she told me during one of our lengthy phone calls, and this is a direct quote, “he’ll never be happy without me. I’ll destroy him before I will let him be happy. Don’t ever think that I can’t.”) So a story about Liarboy and his pregnant young wife runs in the newspaper one day, the very next day AngryEx is at the police department filing charges that Liar molested her daughter when the girl was around 15 - 16. Daughter is now 21. Police report says that Liar would take daughter out of state when he had work out of state, says awful, terrible things that he would allegedly do to this teenage girl.
Now as much as I know that this guy would say anything to have his cake and eat it too, I don’t believe that makes him a child molester. And those sales calls that would take him away…the ones she says the teenager accompanied Liar on…were actually trips to see me. Trust me, he traveled alone to my bed. Again, I am not proud here, just throwing this all out there in order to get your opinion.
Now keep in mind that with my own two little ears I heard AngryEx tell me on one of our phone calls that she wouldn’t let him be happy without her.
So, why on earth wouldn’t these charges have been filed sooner? Why wait until (literally) the day after the paper does a story on his happiness with his new wife? Because he truly has a massive problem and does unspeakable things to children or because smearing his name with a child molestation accusation will “destroy” him?
I was molested as a teenager and wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I am a firm believer in punishing to the fullest extent of the law anyone who inappropriately touches minors. I would personally beat Liarboy to an unrecognizable pulp if I thought for a moment that he did any of the things AngryEx said he did.
Back to you and my reason for writing. If you were me, would you write an affidavit to submit to the courts saying the dates that Lairboy was with me? Would you be his alibi (only for the dates that I actually have memory of)? Or would you think that his proclaimed innocence is simply another lie? (Strange part is I didn’t get that “I know you are lying, but I will let you think I believe you” feeling while I was taking in this saga. I truly don’t think that his other personality faults equal a child molester. But I want your opinion.)
Go! And thanks in advance for your wisdom.
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For what it’s worth - I say trust your gut. And it doesn’t sound like you’re looking to LIE for him, but at least offer the truth.
April 20th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
If you tell the courts of the dates that you know for a fact he was with you, you’re just providing facts as you know it. You’re not lying for anyone.
April 20th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I agree, baby. The truth is the truth, and you can only offer what you have. The courts can (theoretically) sort out the rest of it - or at least, your part will no longer be on your shoulders.
Lovely people, these sound like, by the way.
Let’s talk about your boobs instead.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:10 am
Definitely tell the truth!!
April 21st, 2008 at 12:24 am
Yes, yes, yes. Obviously don’t make up dates you don’t actually remember, but do offer up what you have. A similar thing happened to BIL, but a lying creep does not a child molester make.
April 21st, 2008 at 1:29 am
The truth always wins out. Go with it and do what’s right.
April 21st, 2008 at 1:30 am
I’m with everyone else. Just the dates you can remember.
April 21st, 2008 at 1:48 am
You should definitely help him with the dates you know for sure.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:06 am
Wow what a story! I’m with the others, if you submit what you know to be true then no problem. Whether or not you believe him isn’t an issue. Good luck with this though, sounds messy as hell!
April 21st, 2008 at 2:09 am
You giving facts that would help him out not date him again. Besides he loves children and this would ruin it for him. Besides psycho-bitch shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this crap.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:24 am
britt - oh dear lord, i would never lie for him! thank you for taking this to your readers. very appreciated.
adam - because he lived seven hours away and we rarely got to see each other, i had a word doc that i kept which simply listed the dates he was here and a brief description of the visits highlights. i never did that with anyone else. it was almost like i somehow knew i would need it.
britt’s momma - amen! i think i will feature my breasts for the upcoming half naked thursday. great idea!
amyd - your opinion so matters. thanks.
lexi - i giggled at the lying creep comment. it is like you know him!
karl - thanks. it is just so difficult wehn someone mentions hurting a child because then i wanna pummel the jackass.
dan! and othurme - very appreciated.
penelope - it is a mess. thankfully i am no longer a part of his drama. makes me wanna do the dance of joy that i am no longer involved in his drama!!
zanthera - not date him again. check. good point. you wanna talk psycho bitch? she actually gave him a small teddy bear tied to the bottom of a box with ribbons. said something about a binding spell where he was “bound to her” for all eternity or something. she is kinda scary.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:57 am
Go with your gut and tell the truth. Bravo to you for standing up for what you believe.
April 21st, 2008 at 6:57 am
[...] for me, the lovely and talented Miss Britt is having me guest post over at her place today. Poor pretty lady is all about sick and a half. [...]
April 21st, 2008 at 7:01 am
there is a huge difference between justice and vengence. angryex is looking for vengence only. what amazes me is that she must have somehow convinced her daughter to go along with this. that’s sick. and people like that are part of why it’s so damn hard to get a conviction for the real molesters.
by all means, write the affidavit. it’s the honorable thing to do. just remember to stick to the facts only. try not to get sucked into all the drama that is sure to come with this.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:29 am
Send it. You’re not offering to lie and completely cover his ass, but at least you can put it out there that AngryEx is not telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Seeing from his side what a false accusation can do (a friend of mine had a false rape charge leveled against him) to a man’s life and reputation, telling the truth can only help.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:42 am
Absolutely send it. There is not much worse than having false charges hang over your head. Blow that bitch in.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:57 am
Offer up the truth only for the days you know he was with you. That’s truly all you can do. The other dates in question are his problem to deal with. If he has to fight this in court, any lawyer worth their salt will call you to testify anyway, as an alibi for those days.
You’re not helping him get away with a crime, just stating truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God.
April 21st, 2008 at 8:57 am
Unfortunately, it doesn’t look as though you have any other option. You’re well aware of what she said to you on the phone, and while that’s circumstantial, it’s still relevant. You know without a doubt that he was with you for several of those sales trips. So say as much.
As for the girl, even though she’s 21 now, she was around 15 or 16 when this allegedly went on - and because child molestation and statutory rape are kind of a big deal, do you think they’re not going to pull a psychologist out to say something like, “she’s obviously still repressing memories, and due to the trauma, she would not make a reliable witness”? If he’s convicted, all else aside, someone’s going to try to force that girl into therapy, even if only to save face. As someone who’s been pushed into that situation before, I would suggest that, if you’re not going to do it for that guy, do it for the girl he’s being accused of molesting. It’s not right for her to be dragged into this if she’s truly not part of it to begin with.
I’m going to go store my soapbox in the corner now…
April 21st, 2008 at 9:12 am
rachel - bravo is a little strong! but i guess i really do have to write something to the courts to let them know a huge part of what they aren’t being told.
heather - i am so past that man’s drama! honestly, his past drama is something that almost prevented me from wanting to help. but i am trying not to hold that against him because it really doesn’t pertain to this situation.
marissa - oh i can’t even imagine a false rape charge. what is wrong with some people that they feel such horrendous lies are acceptable?
pamela - is it wrong that i giggled and said aloud, “i’ll huff and i’ll puff and i’ll blow that bitch in?” hehe
msbatman - oh i really, really don’t wanna testify in court. hopefully writing something to the court will keep me outta their shit. ugggh.
squeaky - the “sales trips” were never anything but excuses to come see me. honestly, he wasn’t in the kind of job where out of state travel was necessary! you are so right about the daughter being sucked into all of this. makes my physically ill to think that her life is being so negatively impacted by all of this. thank you for speaking so freely with us about this. i really appreciate what you had to say.
April 21st, 2008 at 9:39 am
I am with the rest of the people who say that if you KNOW on the dates she lists that YOU were with Liarboy, you should do the right thing and swear in court/affidavit that you were with him.
on a side note, you might want to look up your phone records and find the date of the pone call in which Psycho Bitch Ex told you she would try to take Liarboy down. Perhaps contact one of those pro bono lawyers as well, and see if mentioning said phone call would be admissable as evidence if you have the phone record of the call taking place. It might be considered heresay, but you never know. It also might help to exonerate Liarboy, by giving proof of Psycho’s false charges.
Then again, I am not sure…I am not a lawyer…
April 21st, 2008 at 9:49 am
Everyone deserves a fair defense. If you were with him on those “business” trip dates, you should tell what you know to be true.
No matter how big an asshole he may be, no one deserves to be slapped with a child molester label without earning it.
April 21st, 2008 at 10:17 am
Call me a lemming, but tell the truth babe.
April 21st, 2008 at 10:53 am
I say tell the truth.
This woman doesn’t need to ruin more lives.
April 21st, 2008 at 10:53 am
Tell the truth! You will appear to be a *coughslutcough* truly honest person who only wants to set the record straight.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:05 am
cissa - i love the fireheart name. love! you know, i thought of the phone call thing also. problem is that it happened SO long ago that i wouldn’t be able to pin down when. sprint shows “incoming call” on their phone bills, not the number it came from. i think i will mention it in my letter, then they can spend the money on securing phone records and all if they need to. this may come out wrong, but i don’t want to get overly involved in this.
finn - thanks for helping to make me realize this. it seemed like i should step up, but sometimes we are clouded by our feelings for a person and don’t see writing on the wall. if the internet would have seen that i was being foolish then i would have rethought the whole scene. reading all of these responses makes me think that my gut is telling me to do the correct thing.
karen - lemming! ha, just kidding. xoxo
muttprincess - what amazes me is the amount of time that has passed and that she hasn’t moved on. we are talking years here. you were hurt, we understand that. move the fuck on.
metal - hi potslut, it is the kettleslut.
woman, you crack me up…can’t wait to have a drink with you in a few weeks.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:30 am
We will tear this town UP!
(Britt can come too)
April 21st, 2008 at 11:48 am
I say tell the truth.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Send it. The liar doesn’t deserve to have a molestation charge against him because some cunt is trying to ruin his life. And if you are telling the truth, it matters not whether HE is lying, right? All that you can do is speak your piece truthfully.
Let’s talk about your boobs.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Tell HIS lawyer all you know. Nuff of that. Half off Thursday eh. I will be around for that. I might even take half off also…
April 21st, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I’m not looking at the other comments before I reply (but my GOD I hope I am not the only one to say this)….
You should tell the truth and sign an affidavit or whatever it takes. In this situation, where the emotional “who did whats” are unsure, every little bit of truth can help.
April 21st, 2008 at 12:58 pm
mm - damn skippy we will. i’m excited already.
ms. julie dean - thanks. you guys are the greatest.
dvd - gotcha. so long as i am 100% truthful, everything else will come out. the good, bad and ugly. guess i was hesitant because of what i had been through and there is always the possibility that something was not on the up & up while he lived with them. my gut says there wasn’t, but a teeny tiny part of me says who knows. regardless, so long as i only state with exact certainty what i know as fact, then i will have done what i need to do.
greg t - don’t expect the lovely and talented miss britt to participate in half nekkid thursdays! sorry if i am trashing up her place over here. please go to my site on thursdays for that smut. i mean art.
hilly - you are not alone! everyone seems to be of the same opinion as you. back to you! yay, hilly!
April 21st, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I would do whatever I could do help him.
April 21st, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I would definitely do what I could to let “whoever” know he was with you on those dates. His life can be so very ruined with all those accusations, and I think you will at least know you did SOMETHING to help. I would also tell them what she said to you on the phone.
That bitch. To bring her daughter in to all this, but it’s happened before, and someone else will do it again. Oh, do I have stories!
April 21st, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Liarboy must have had a twin brother and I dated him.
You should give information to his attorney about the days you know he was with you.
It’s a slap in the face to actual victims everywhere when someone fakes this shit.
Email me sugar.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
STAY THE FUCK AWAY! HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED ANYTHING?
He and his lawyer are smart enough (maybe the words “cunning” or “diabolical” would be better??) to subpoena you when necessary. At that point you will cooperate because it is the right thing to do.
Stay away from that crazy fuck, borderline psychopath.
That being said, all of the advice you have been given here is fair and logical, but they don’t know the whole story.
You don’t need the drama. Or do you?
April 21st, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Ahhhh–I see from Elby’s comment that Liarboy had a TWIN brother and I dated him.
Email me sugar–this is probably better addressed in private.
I’ve been where you are.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:44 pm
e-mail me too. Turnbaby is right. probably better off addressing it in private.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:34 pm
craze - i don’t wanna help him exactly, but i will certainly don’t wanna sit by and not tell the little bit of info that i do know.
robina - i’d be interested in your stories. you gonna blog about em?
turn - i’ll email or call you when i get a minute. thanks.
elby - my dear elby, thank you for taking the time to comment. i know that couldn’t have been easy for you. hopefully you are not letting your personal feelings enter into your better judgment. my problem with your suggestion (to wait until i receive a subpoena ) is that i do not want to have to travel there. i don’t want to get involved in his drama. it was my intention to write a quick statement, have a notary witness it, then be done. i think your way might lead to me having to see him again, to deal with his shit, to waste time and money on him. you are so right, i do not need, nor do i want, the drama. honestly, i was hoping to nip that in the bud by sending a statement and washing my hands of him. too much good in my life to get brought down by his shit.
again, i appreciate your comment. it means a lot to me. thanks.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:39 pm
dvd -
thanks for being a good friend.
April 21st, 2008 at 4:41 pm
If you have documentation (items from a date book, etc, that he was there, etc. Provide that to the courts. Don’t guess, don’t assume - have proof that he was there (scribbled notes in date book, or on an electronic calendar) then submit it. The truth is a good thing - even when helping a habitual liar.
my own little rant:
I can’t believe that a mother would lie and put her child (21 or not) through this - unbelievable - the hell that she will go through, not to mention the jail time she will face when they discover that she lied under oath (if it goes that far). For some reason the courts frown upon those who waste their time and lie.
Good luck!
April 21st, 2008 at 6:45 pm
hello, you know i love you but bring tons of condoms with you if you’re gonna be hanging out with metalmom. she’s sporting a kokopelli as an avatar! do you really want to party unprotected with a god of fertility? ;-)
April 21st, 2008 at 7:28 pm
She sounds as ugly as he does. But yes be honest. I’d let people know about the phone call too.
April 21st, 2008 at 10:17 pm
fantastagirl - as i mentioned to adam above, for some strange reason i had kept a simple word doc on the computer that listed the dates we were together and a very brief description of what we did. after he called i was able to find it on my computer (work server). honestly i thought i had deleted it a long time ago, i only found it when racking my brain for dates. strange that i even kept such a list, stranger that i didn’t delete it. makes me think this might be the reason.
the daughter hates him for breaking up her “happy” home. she hate her real father. she is very anti male. sadly i think she is willingly going along with this. there is a lot more to the story, but i didn’t want to paid his ex and her daughter in too bad of a light…didn’t want to influence the replies too much.
heather - metalmom rocks! but you are right about that fertility god crap…i’m no breeder. look where it got britt! (hope you are feeling better, my dear)
nat - thank you. the whole disaster is ugly. hopefully if i write a statement i can never have to think of this mess again.
thanks so all who weighed in on this post. you are very appreciated.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:25 pm
In my experience with the courts (8 year long custody battle), if your testimony is needed you would have to be there in person. A notarized statement was never admissible as evidence in my case. Though, I am not a lawyer and don’t know the rules.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:15 am
If you feel in your heart he isn’t lying then you should go ahead with the affidavits. I am astounded that his ex would lie so viciously out of a sense of revenge. But I have experienced a similar situation. Sadly, I have a friend who lied about being raped to get back at her ex. It was horrible. It has ruined my friendship with her. A very thought-provoking post.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Boobs can be an interesting topic, you know.
April 25th, 2008 at 8:02 am
About the main subject…
I would be the alibi. He might lose custody of the child is his about to have if these charges persist. And the child deserves a chance no matter how big of a liar the dad is, no?
April 25th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Actually, I need to add, I would wait to see what the daughter says first, then you can counter with your alibi. Even if she doesn’t say anything, I would speak up.
April 25th, 2008 at 8:08 am