Before one can make amends, one must do something worthy of being amended.
Such as - putting your husband in a bonnet. On the Internet.
That would be, step one. Then, it’s time to get down to the business of making amends.
Oh yeah. We’re going there….
After the bonnet is tied firmly in place:
Then you wait. And wait. And check your emails. And dance around the house listening to Prince, singing at the top of your lungs because YOU’RE IN THE HOUSE ALL BY YOURSELF!!!. With Smurf Poo on your head.
Then you get bored.
And decide that SURELY this has been long enough. It’s BLEACH for Pete’s sake - how long can that take??
Then you rinse your hair and take a shower. And you do not take pictures of your shower because you have boundaries!
Perhaps if I blow dry it and shit. Surely that will make a difference.
And that is how you make amends.
The End.
*Alternate Title: how to waste $12 and an hour of your life. And also, possibly, develop a deep hatred for that Frost & GLOW bitch ass ho.
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
RSS Subscribe
You are very brave. The last time I tried to do something to my hair I looked every bit Priscilla Presley when she married Elvis.
Amy’s last blog post..Her Royal Highn-ass
March 31st, 2008 at 12:21 am
That one lighter hair, made the whole thing worth it!
March 31st, 2008 at 12:25 am
You’ve got some great hair, lady. I’m just trying to figure out how to get mine to be not-so-frizzy like yours. I’ve go the curl, but the frizz is bad…
March 31st, 2008 at 12:58 am
that shit never works for me. I always get knots and pull out thousands of hairs (that I really cannot spare) and I get all pissy and pull the cap off only to try again and realize I’ve made huge holes in the cap thing. That is why I started going one color. I’m too cheap to pay the big city prices here to have someone do it for me.
usedtobeme’s last blog post..They’re making me cranky
March 31st, 2008 at 12:59 am
Yikes! I’ve never tried one of the cappy-type things…but I’m always covering gray hairs rather than lightening it. You’re very brave!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:50 am
Wow, your hair looks fantastic. Did you do something different?
Karl’s last blog post..100 Things About Karl, Part Two
March 31st, 2008 at 1:58 am
I added the tinest bit of bleach to top of my hair recently. Now I have Ginger topped hair.
Freelanceguru’s last blog post..Who or What is the Freelance Guru
March 31st, 2008 at 2:51 am
My hair is about as curly as yours. It used to thick. Until I put on that fucking bonnet and tried to highlight my hair and wound up pulling half the hair OUT OF MY HEAD. So commend you, you may not see a difference, but you retained the majority of your hair.
Honeybell’s last blog post..Pssst, Don’t Tell PETA
March 31st, 2008 at 3:02 am
Owwwchhhhh! I felt every moment of that!
The smurf poo (hilarious!)is rather terrifying isn’t it? I really don’t get why it has to be so blue!
Seriously though, you need to train Mr Britt on the art of foiling - it HAS to be less painful!
Penelope’s last blog post..Girls Only
March 31st, 2008 at 3:24 am
LMAO @ Smurf poo. I still can’t believe I used to have my highlights done with them pulling the through a cap. You must have a tough head too sugar.
Your hair looks great even if there was not too much change.
turnbaby’s last blog post..We’re Talking Quid Pro Quo Babies
March 31st, 2008 at 4:43 am
Shit this looked painful,
but it was worth it for the Smurf poo and the the comments but I’m not so sure I see the change…….
(he says running)
L’s last blog post..Lazy CBA or is he
March 31st, 2008 at 6:31 am
I would kill for your hair!! It’s purty just the way it is
March 31st, 2008 at 6:33 am
you’d need a lot of smurfs to get that amount of poo.
topchamp’s last blog post..It’s a dilema!
March 31st, 2008 at 7:12 am
“Fish lips” was my favorite part.
March 31st, 2008 at 7:19 am
Amy: funny, that’s what happened the last time I paid someone to color my hair!
Mary: it’s getting white in the sun now too. LOL So I have one white hair.
Angie: Aveda. Aveda. Aveda.
Curl Creme. Diffuser.
Seriously.
usedtobeme:
that’s what I normally do too.
Anonymous: it’s wayyyyy easier to go darker.
Karl:
Freelanceguru: my husband has the same thing! LOL
Honeybell: ohhhh, there were clumps. There. were. clumps.
Penelope: can you foil at home? I was tempted to try, but wasn’t sure if Reynolds Aluminum was the same.
turnbaby: well in the salon they foil. But you can’t do that at home….
can you?????
L: lol, I know!
Rachel: awwwww - thanks!
topchamp: 1,489
avitable: hmmmm
March 31st, 2008 at 7:50 am
Good on ya!
I quit dying my hair when I was a teenager and turned it purple. On accident.
Of course, I dance around my house with smurf poo on my head every other Friday. Right before I play the acupuncturist and the pincushion.
ADW’s last blog post..Mea Culpa and Florida Here I Come!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 8:27 am
That Smurf Poo looks to be the same color as some Ultimate Lemonade stuff I saw you suck back a few nights ago.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:41 am
OMG. OMG. OMG. LOL!! You kill me!
I am afraid of those caps. I haven’t used one since I had really short hair and even that was painful!
sam’s last blog post..I Promise It’s Not All About Hockey
March 31st, 2008 at 8:44 am
Ahh your beautiful hair….to be so blessed with a lion’s mane!
debkitty’s last blog post..What would you Do???
March 31st, 2008 at 9:00 am
OK I demand that you reveal your secret for your beautiful (NON FRIZZY) hair! What products do you use? Shampoo, conditioner, gels?
Also- I hate you a little bit that you BLEW your hair dry and it still looks awesome! If I use a blow drier (even with a diffuser) I end up looking like a chia pet with an afro.
Please share the gory details before I give up and go have all my curlies whacked off!
March 31st, 2008 at 9:10 am
[...] we have more important stuff to talk about - like how to highlight Miss Britt’s hair and turn it into a side splitting photo essay - and how Nanna herself has decided the fastest best [...]
March 31st, 2008 at 9:15 am
I think your hair looks great the way it is.
I on the other hand, have SHORT hair, and always have the damn “cap treatment” done. My scalp feels freakin’ RAW when they are ‘latch-hooking’ my hair through it. LOL
This Mom’s last blog post..Today I Say Goodbye
March 31st, 2008 at 9:40 am
I am not even kidding a little when I say you should make Adam pay for you to go to a salon and have your hair professionally done. I mean, you’re the “face” of the company. Doesn’t matter that you’re the phone face, you’re still the face!
March 31st, 2008 at 9:43 am
See this is why Cissa Fireheart uses L’Oreal Excellence Creme Blonde Supreme hair color. it works fabulously…and the applicator comb is really great too….good luck on the hair colro thing :)
Cissa Fireheart’s last blog post..A bottle of red, a bottle of white….
March 31st, 2008 at 10:16 am
You are too damn cute!
Next time you will have to buy a lighter shade, and leave it on longer….
Good luck!
themuttprincess’s last blog post..Pictures. Because what else is there to do??? IT IS FINALLY FRIDAY!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 10:27 am
While I fully endorse your self-inflicted bonnet torture to make amends for the past documentation of your husband wearing the bonnet, I am still forced to ask one question… all that for one strand???
Okay… the smurf poo was worth it too.
I wonder if there’s a “Two Smurfettes One Cup” cartoon somewhere out there…
NYCWD’s last blog post..Opening Day
March 31st, 2008 at 10:45 am
This post made me laugh my ass off. I love it! lol
B’s last blog post..Orioles Fanfest
March 31st, 2008 at 10:50 am
Sigh. I did that once with the cheapo Clairol product. It turned my hair gray. Not sure which is worse.
(I hear you on the curly hair thing. gah.)
Nat’s last blog post..Dancing in the dark…
March 31st, 2008 at 10:53 am
I can see now why my friends always had me do theirs.
You’re a brave woman. I’ve heard horror stories of the bonnet.
Marissa’s last blog post..I Am Legend
March 31st, 2008 at 10:59 am
I’m too chicken. Plus I have a hairdressing sister-in-law-to-be.
Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Something That Really Grates On My Nerves Even Though I Have No Room To Talk On The Subject
March 31st, 2008 at 11:18 am
LMFAO! My hair is really thick and about halfway down my back so there is no way in hell I’d get through such an ordeal. I wish I had a shitload of money to throw down at a fancy schmancy salon, but I digress. It’s Supercuts for me…LOL.
Kyra Sutra’s last blog post..Dear Owen
March 31st, 2008 at 11:28 am
Too Funny!
Babygirl does my hair for shits and giggles.(All one color) but I play with hers. Now she wants Firetruck RED for prom pictures! OH HELL NO!!!!!
I think you look smurfy anyway!
metalmom’s last blog post..Mom and Daughter Bonding
March 31st, 2008 at 11:59 am
Maybe it’s just because you washed it, but it looks a bit lighter to me…
Finn’s last blog post..Zen And The Art Of Blogging
March 31st, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Hurray for blonde hair! :) I think your hair looks wonderful. I admire your courage to die it yourself. I used to die my hair every other week until it turned bright lavender and felt like dolls hair. Oops. You have some skills!
March 31st, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I pay a ridiculous amount of money for my color each month and my husband does not complain. Why you ask? I once did as you did, and bought the box from the drug store. I made him help me. He thought it was fun, right up until the screams came from the bathroom. I had turned myself into Annie. It was so sad and so wrong. I’m telling you, you should seriously be thanking God that you didn’t have any change. ;-)
Black Belt Mama’s last blog post..Where is my Mind? What am I Thinking? I Can’t Do This!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:01 pm
ADW: At 16, I thought I looked hot in Purple and took it as a sign I should never go natural again.
Little Miss: it is remarkably close, isn’t it? Maybe they put rum in the hair dye??
sam: about half way through I realllly considered quitting.
debkitty: ha! yeah!
Melanie Marie: Aveda’s Be Curly line. Those people need to sponsor me, I swear.
This Mom: yeah, it seems to work much better with short hair.
Poppy: this is brilliant. I’m drafting a proposal now.
Cissa Fireheart: I used that once. It was the one and only time I had to go have one of my homemade jobs professionally “fixed”.
themuttprincess: I know - I thought it was the lightest, but maybe not.
NYCWD: if there isn’t, there should be.
That was a hint.
B: well good for laughing. Especially if it comes off the ass.
Nat: the salon turned my hair gray last time. Bastards.
Marissa: I don’t really have any girlfriends here I could ask!
Karen Sugarpants: show off!
Kyra Sutra: plus don’t you have a ridiculously rich natural hair color anyway? Whore.
metalmom: I’m sure my baby would LOVE it if I allowed her to come at me with a hook.
Finn: yeah, I think it was the washing more than anything.
Which. Um. EWWWWW.
claudia: I’ve been dying my own hair for about 13 years now.
Black Belt Mama: when that has happened to me, my husband’s response is “what? it’s fiiiine.”
The man is cheaper than vain, apparently.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I do the hook thingy for my wife. It works better if I do it… Also you have to leave it on for triple tghe time the box says. AND we all know the box has alot to say,…….
March 31st, 2008 at 1:09 pm
My favorite part was the lion face. I could almost hear you roar.
Tracy Lynn’s last blog post..Post 682: Better Than A Poke In The Eye. But Not By Much.
March 31st, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I’ve got so much grey hair now that I probably need to try some of this stuff. Or start using the Grecian Formula. Do they still make that stuff?
Jay’s last blog post..Welcome to Chez Jay’s …
March 31st, 2008 at 1:34 pm
THAT is why I no longer attempt to do my own hair. I have turned it yellow, and once I put white spots in it. I also no longer attempt to cut my own bangs - you don’t want to know! I just turn my head and my money over to the salon.
J.
HoosierGirl’s last blog post..Manic Monday
March 31st, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I always wondered what the hell Smurf poo looks like. You know those little fuckers act like they don’t shit. I’m glad you got proof.
maggie, dammit’s last blog post..two minute break
March 31st, 2008 at 3:06 pm
GOD, we are totally on the same schedule!! Are we having our periods at the same time too? I’m going back to blonde tomorrow but I don’t dare do it myself.
Hey…you wanna come do me?
Kimberly’s last blog post..I Don’t Care What You’re Doing. Just Stop Right Now & Read This.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I don’t think it was a waste of an hour - after all, you did get a post out of it!
Crazy Lady in Vegas’s last blog post..Teeth and Taxes
March 31st, 2008 at 4:44 pm
My sister used to use that shit and all it ever did was fry her hair.
Jen’s last blog post..Packing
March 31st, 2008 at 4:46 pm
gorgeous and sun-kissed! that’s what i see.
Crys’s last blog post..PSA
March 31st, 2008 at 6:32 pm
Britt, I just love you.. that’s all… and my husband said to just f#@$@%’n forget coming near him with any bonnets or pokey hook things!
He isn’s as much fun, it seems as your husband.
I think you’re glowing, sweetie! Really! I swear!
Annie’s last blog post..To Be Irish American
March 31st, 2008 at 7:06 pm
It doesn’t really matter that it didn’t work, I’m just so glad I got to see you with smurf poo on your head. hehehe
Trukindog’s last blog post..Cuss-O-Meter
March 31st, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Somehow, when I tried it…i got the goop all under the cap, so I had huge blotches and chunks of highlight…i ended up coloring the whole damn thing.
There’s something to be said for having it done professionally.
So I hear.
Stephanie’s last blog post..It’s a Mother Fuckin’ Shoe Post, Y’All….
March 31st, 2008 at 10:02 pm
You know, I like the natural curliness better.
Hockeyman’s last blog post..Is it Sunday already?
March 31st, 2008 at 10:58 pm
uh… did anybody else think that chick on the front and glow box was kind of hot? YOu got any more pictures of her?
March 31st, 2008 at 11:06 pm
hmmm I’m thinking that I’ll pay the chick downtown to do mine…
Fantastagirl’s last blog post..I baked bread.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Come over here and then we can get drunk and I can redo your hair.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:44 pm
OMFG! Going thru all that for one lighter hair? STFU! LOL
Next time have Avi do your hair… Then again… nah… it might turn seriously into the Smurf Poo colour…
DutchBitch’s last blog post..Do NOT Go There
April 1st, 2008 at 12:45 am
aaaahahahaha the pictures!!! when i move to florida this summer you can do that to my hair, i promise =D
April 1st, 2008 at 4:42 am
greg t: I’m afraid Jared would stab me with that hook thing if given a chance.
Tracy Lynn: I was roaring out loud too!!!
Jay: yes, I think they do actually.
HoosierGirl: yeah, well, I’m cheap. LOL
maggie: everyone shits. Well, except for me.
Kimberly: um… are you finding yourself extra tired and moody lately? Giving yourself a day or two?
Crazy Lady in Vegas: true ‘dat!
Jen: my hair is resilient.
Crys: it is sun kissed now! After a day at the beach and another at Disney.
Annie: LOL, well, thank you. And tell your husband I said he’s a pussy.
Trukindog: everyone loves smurf poo!
Stephanie: yeah, I have had that experience before too.
Hockeyman: and I bet your wife appreciates that too.
Y2K Survivor: bastard.
Fantastagirl: good idea. Clearly.
Peggy: after April 8th ish - I’m all yours baby!
DutchBitch: I am not letting Avi TOUCH my hair!
Creed: promises, promises.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:02 am
I would smurf poo my hair regularly if it ended up looking like yours but I am terrified of those little bonnets. You are a cutie!
Selma’s last blog post..Torrid
April 1st, 2008 at 7:49 pm