When I first came up with the idea to do a 10 part series of 100 Things About Miss Britt, I was overwhelmed by my own brilliance.

100 Things about me! 10 Things a week! That’s 10 weeks of blog fodder guaranteed! Woo hoo!

I pumped my fist mightily in the air and roared at my own genius.

I’ll give you a moment with that visual.

What I did not consider while basking in the glory of my own awesomeness was that it might be a little difficult to continually come up with 10 interesting things about me. Especially because (as my husband has noted) I have a habit of telling you all every damn thing about me on a regular basis.

In other words - forgive me if you’re getting tired of the lists. Keep loving me, OK? Because you all know I simply cannot handle anything less than blind adoration from The Internets. We have a commitment, you and I, to soldier on with the lists until the 100 Things is complete. Me to keep writing and you to keep feigning soul stirring interest. That’s our thing.

Thus far, we’ve shared (you and I - because we share here), 10 things about my family, my memorable moments, things that I hate, things that I love and my tawdry work history.

This week, in the interest of us sharing, I think we should cry together. Don’t you? I mean really, once we’ve cried together, there really is nothing that can tear us apart. Right? Right. So grab your hankies ladies and gents. Here we go, with…

100 Things About Miss Britt: 10 Things That Make Me Cry

1. Violence against women. BAM! Right out of the gate, we’re going deep. Seriously though, 99% of the time I see women as these amazingly strong, powerful creatures. Until a woman is hurt by violence. Then my heart instantly aches to protect the vulnerability that is inherent in each of us. Nothing brings the tears to my eyes as quickly as the site of a woman’s soft face that has been battered and bruised.




2. Money. Do I have enough of it? Do I have enough if something were to happen? Am I spending too much of it? What if… what if… what if… Yeah, I have issues. Other people say they worry but they just ignore it. It is almost impossible for me to do this. I think it’s probably because I grew up a poor black child in the ghetto.




3. Eating too much. And not because I worry about being fat. That’s an entirely different kind of pain. Oh no, I cry because I eat so. damn. much. that my belly actually swells and causes me physical pain. And we’re not talking holidays. Oh. No. We’re talking pretty much every meal - at least once a day - I eat to the point of tears. It’s one of those things that has to be seen to be believed. Like Jesus.




4. Speaking of Jesus, the Eucharist makes me cry. For you non-Catholics, the Eucharist is what we call “communion”. Or, um, you know when you go into a church and they get to the part of the service where everyone eats little wafers of bread and drinks wine? That part. That’s the Eucharist. Whenever I get to that part of the Mass, I get this eerie calm in my soul. I get goose bumps on my arms and, often times, tears in my eyes. That’s how I know it’s not bread and wine. Not for me.




5. Speaking of crying in churches, I cry at funerals. All funerals. Whether I knew the deceased well or am being dragged along for emotional support, I will end up in tears before the first shovel of dirt hits the lid. Something about the people who are left behind combined with a wave of memories from the past… it gets me every time. If I can’t find something to cry about at a funeral, I’ll just think of someone I love who has died. Or could die. Or might die some day. And then I cry about that.




6. Speaking of other stuff that happens in churches, I also cry at weddings. All weddings. This is purely selfish though. It’s very rare that I’m crying because I am just so blissfully happy for the people getting married. No, oh no. I’m usually crying because some part of the wedding reminds me of my wedding and my marriage. I’m not sure what that says about me that my marriage makes me cry.




7. Speaking of completely irrelevant segues, I cry at movies. I cry when someone dies in a movie. I cry when he gets the girl. I cry when she doesn’t get the boy and they live the rest of their lives wondering “what if”. I cry when they realize that the only thing you need in this world is good girlfriends. Unless it is an obvious comedy, I will probably cry at some point during most movies. And I still contend that it was completely natural to cry during Adam Sandler’s Big Daddy.




8. Feeling helpless makes me cry. I don’t think there is any emotion more desperate than the hopelessness that comes from not being able to do a god damned thing.




9. Experiencing pain. At all. On any level. If I stub my toe, I’m going to cry. If I rip my fingernail, I’m going to cry. In my defense, that shit hurts. I was not cut out for pain. This, by the way, is why my butt is clearly marked Exit Only. “It will only hurt for a minute” is one minute too damned long, thank you very much.




10. Sometimes, I laugh so hard I cry. At least once a week I find something so hysterical that I laugh until I cry. And then I pee. And then I laugh and cry because I’ve just peed myself.

*sniff*

*sniff*

Are you OK? I feel closer now, don’t you?

Next week we’ll have to talk about the things that make me laugh.

Posted in 100 things, It's All About Me Tagged: 100 things, about, crying, lists, memes, Miss Britt