The World’s Worst Contest!

by Miss Britt on February 17, 2008

I’ve decided Sunday will be Contest Day.

Of course, I decided this MONTHS ago and since then everyone and their fucking brother has been doing giveaways. DAMN YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR GENEROSITY!! You’re stealing my ju ju!!

(OK, I maybe thought of this like 8 days ago. But since then everyone and their fucking sister has been doing giveaways. DAMN YOU STILL!!)

Here is my problem:

It’s Sunday.

And I haven’t got the faintest fucking idea what to organize a contest around.

And? I haven’t got any prizes.

And? This is the second Sunday in a row I’ve found myself in such a predicament. Last Sunday I decided that I would just wait. No sense putting shit out there if it’s not a well thought out idea. Sometimes it is just best to hold off until you get the details in place. Last Sunday, I reminded myself that if you can’t do something right, you shouldn’t do it at all.

Fuck it.

Who wants some free stuff?

What do you want?

I have…

  • $25 Amazon Gift Certificate

  • A guest post from me to you about why you are awesome

  • $25 iTunes Gift Certificate

  • A video post dedicated to you (and your awesomeness)

  • Boobie pictures

Here’s how you win…

In the comments, tell me which prize you want and why you deserve to win.

I will RANDOMLY select a winner, and they will win whichever prize they chose. (so you don’t have to be funny to win)

Contest is open until 12pm EST on Tuesday.

Multiple entries are allowed.

And…. GO!

Popularity: 2% [?]

Posted in Blogging and Bloggers - Tips, Contests and Stuff for Bloggers

67 Comments so far

  1. avitable February 16, 2008 1:23 am

    I deserve to win boobie pictures because you promised them to me after I signed over the title to my house, and that was six months ago.

    Reply

  2. avitable February 16, 2008 2:08 pm

    If you mean random boobie pictures instead of yours, I will stab you in the head.

    With my penis.

    Reply

  3. Karen Sugarpants February 17, 2008 12:06 am

    I want a video post dedicated to me (and my awesomeness) because I know you secretly have a girl crush on me and you are dying to do just that.

    Also? I am so awesome. (Not as awesome as Hilly or you, but still, quite awesome.)

    Oh and? I’ll pay you. In boobie pictures. But only if you don’t show Avi. Ha ha.

    Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Censored

    Reply

  4. Janelle February 17, 2008 12:40 am

    I want a video post dedicated to me (and my awesomeness)!
    Why? Well, because I’m awesome that’s why! Really though, I have been a faithful reader of your blog for well over a year or has it been two? Time files when you’re having fun. I lived your highest highs with you, dancing with Prince, and your lowest lows, loosing a tampon comes to mind. Well, I guess that’s it. I wish I could come up something really profound and wonderful as to why I deserve to win. Saying, “Because I want to!” while stomping my feet won’t cut it, will it?

    Janelle’s last blog post..Time to Share With the Class- don’t be shy…

    Reply

  5. flutter February 17, 2008 1:20 am

    while posts regaling my awesomeness are always, well, awesome, I seriously need some amazon love.

    Your 25 dollars will go towards my aerogarden. My long sought after, totally coveted and completely yet to be purchased for me even though I have begged for it using all manners of sexual favors, aerogarden. Yes, Britt, you can help sell me back out of whoredom and into fresh vegetables of my own growing.

    You know you want to.

    flutter’s last blog post..Therapy notes: fat fat faaaaaaat!

    Reply

  6. Sam February 17, 2008 2:37 am

    I want a post about my awesomeness. Why? Because I am NOT feeling awesome and having a total innernet stranger telling me that I am awesome will cure my angst. Completely cure! Down with angst! Also-if your post about my awesomeness also qualifies in some way as one of the papers I have due in the next four weeks it will be double the awesome. AND! My cat’s name is Dude. As in “Duuuuuuude. You’re awesome!” :dunce:

    Sam’s last blog post..Brain Is Done

    Reply

  7. Dee February 17, 2008 2:42 am

    I was going to have you do a post about my awesomeness, but I figure that’s going to be pretty damned hard seeings the only info you have on me is that I draw…

    So I’ll go the iTunes certificate!

    Dee’s last blog post..Like a Tiger *grrrrrrr*

    Reply

  8. hellohahanarf February 17, 2008 4:34 am

    i would like the prize of your choise, although preferably the amazon gift cert or your special guacamole (ha! your special sauce!). and you should send me the prize because i have curly red hair. us curly haired folks ahve to stick together! oh, another reason is that since i met your blog i haven’t missed a post, even from mexico. i mean, it is 4:32 in the morning and the dogs had to pee, so i check my damn computer for new posts, for crying out loud.

    ok, maybe my prize should be a gift certificate to my first visit with a shrink, but whatever. i’ll take a video post or ramblings here as to why i am a whack job, i mean awesome.

    Reply

  9. hellohahanarf February 17, 2008 4:36 am

    oh, and that is CHOICE.

    maybe i need a prize coz i can’t type? i just love to be a winner, that’s all. pick me, pick me!!
    :o hgreatone:

    Reply

  10. BlondeBlogger February 17, 2008 4:57 am

    Oh, oh!!!! The Amazon GC…totally. Because I’m trying to save up for a digital camera since mine sucks butt. But I’d be happy to see your boobies too. :lmao:

    BlondeBlogger’s last blog post..Score One for Mom!

    Reply

  11. hellohahanarf February 17, 2008 5:00 am

    how wrong is it that i would prefer boobie pictures over that itunes certificate? of course i would use the itunes certificate and wouldn’t use boobie pics, but still…

    Reply

  12. DaDuck February 17, 2008 5:13 am

    25$ amazon GC because I am new and have slowly been reading all your entries like a good little girl.

    And can I suggest random boobie pics to avi just so we can see him stab you in the head..with his penis? :poke:

    DaDuck’s last blog post..Sticky:Earth Hour

    Reply

  13. Donna W February 17, 2008 7:00 am

    I’d like the Amazon gift certificate. I deserve it SO MUCH because I’m old. Really old. And I’m a bargain biddy, so getting $25 in any form might be the highlight of my year.

    Donna W’s last blog post..An awesome horse video

    Reply

  14. turnbaby February 17, 2008 7:30 am

    boobie pics? *ears perked*

    Of you??*one eyebrow raised*

    turnbaby’s last blog post..TurnbabyTalks Trivia Throwdown

    Reply

  15. avitable February 17, 2008 8:29 am

    Turnbaby, oh you so know she’ll just find some random pictures online of someone’s boobs. She’s trying to be all clever with semantics.

    Reply

  16. Mr. Fabulous February 17, 2008 8:43 am

    I don’t want anything, except for you to be happy and healthy and for all your dreams to come true. :heartbeat:

    Okay, who is making those gagging sounds?

    Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Tonight, straight outta Hell!

    Reply

  17. mcat February 17, 2008 9:25 am

    I should win the video post dedicated to me because…
    I’m new to blogging and I spent all Saturday reading yours and avitable’s and sugarpant’s and many others blogs in hopes one day I will fit into the circle. (And I stole a bunch of everyone’s ideas.)

    mcat’s last blog post..Post VD Reflections

    Reply

  18. Hilly February 17, 2008 10:11 am

    I want either the guest post dedicated to my awesomeness or the video post (first choice, actually) about the same thing.

    I deserve to win because

    a.) unlike Fab, i did not shamelessly try to kiss your ass in a thinly veiled attempt to win :o hgreatone:

    b.) I think that a ringing endorsement from someone as wonderful and awesome as YOU could only make me feel better about myself :o hgreatone:

    c.) Your video posts make me all tingly inside :o hgreatone:

    d.) I’ve got a new radio show coming up and could get you a spot on it, capiche? (LOL)

    Hilly’s last blog post..Super Snoopy Snackie Sunday: Lovestoned

    Reply

  19. turnbaby February 17, 2008 10:32 am

    I think I should win the post about my awesomeness because now you are in a picture with Prince AND that picture features your boobs.

    turnbaby’s last blog post..TurnbabyTalks Trivia Throwdown

    Reply

  20. Topncal February 17, 2008 10:38 am

    I think I deserve to win a Amazon GC because I gave up for lent at your request and it is really really hard.

    Topncal’s last blog post..Pictures of KittyNibbles and I

    Reply

  21. tallyho February 17, 2008 10:43 am

    The amazon gc would be my choice.
    See, my Dad makes these walking canes out of palm tree berry stalks, and he is selling them on amazon. He hasn’t had a sale yet. I think if he sold one it would just make his day.
    I could just see him taking so much time and care to mail it out to his first customer. Hell, I’d even have it sent to you, Miss Britt. (Just so he wouldn’t know it was his daughter doing it.) Plus, I already have one! So we would both win on this one.

    Reply

  22. Topncal February 17, 2008 10:45 am

    Ok I know this is not a democracy but tallyho bid seems like an awesome cause.

    Topncal’s last blog post..Pictures of KittyNibbles and I

    Reply

  23. Dan February 17, 2008 10:58 am

    I have spent the last four hours trying to decide what prize I want. $25 of amazon or iTunes vouchers is highly tempting. But then again boobies rank highly on my top ten list of favorite glands.

    But I’m going to go with the guest post. Is it to be published here or over on the winners blog? Either way is good for me, but I was just wondering.

    Dan’s last blog post..“It’s all Greek to Me” Sunday

    Reply

  24. Nobody™ February 17, 2008 11:13 am

    Wow, I can’t decide…

    I know I don’t want an itunes gift card, I would never ever use that shit.

    I’ve been meaning to download a bunch of music from Amazon.com, so a GC from there would be awesome.

    But the guest post or video sounds cool too. And I am pretty awesome. You know I am. I know that you know that I know that you want to do a guest post and a guest video for the totally awesome Nobody™. I’ll leave it to you to decide which one.

    And, of course, it goes without saying that I want the boobie pictures, cause I love me some boobies. And I do have that Masters of Boobie Inspection degree that I posted about a couple weeks back.

    I hope I haven’t violated the rules by not being able to decide.

    Nobody™’s last blog post..Nobody’s Home

    Reply

  25. hellohahanarf February 17, 2008 11:22 am

    oh man, tallho needs to win the amazon prize. helping her dad feel better is a good cause.

    can i remove myself from the amazon prize?

    does this contest you are running have rules?

    Reply

  26. The Absurdist February 17, 2008 11:47 am

    I deserve the amazon gift certificate for most unique birthday present of the year…

    The Absurdist’s last blog post..Penguin Dreams and Stranger Things IV

    Reply

  27. Nat February 17, 2008 11:54 am

    Wow… let’s see. Hmmmm….

    I would like a guest post. Then I could forward it to all my friends and demonsrtate to them how full of awesomeness strangers think I am. Because fundamentally I am insecure and could use that kind reassurance.

    Please and thank you

    Nat’s last blog post..Flakey Friday 5: I feel pretty

    Reply

  28. DutchBitch February 17, 2008 1:10 pm

    I want the Amazon gift certificate, cuz I need to buy porn! They do sell porn at Amazon, right? I need it… badly… I think…

    Maybe the Boobie Pics would help if I was a guy… or into boobies… but I’m not…

    Just horny…

    DutchBitch’s last blog post..Handle With Care

    Reply

  29. Coal Miner's Granddaughter February 17, 2008 1:14 pm

    I’ll take a guest post, by you, on my blog, sometime the week of March 29-April 5 (I’m outta town then). Why?

    Because you love me! :-)

    Pretty lame, I know, but worth a try!

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..I’m Feelin’ the Love Today!

    Reply

  30. Maman February 17, 2008 1:51 pm

    The guest post would be lovely… Nobody ever tells me that I am awesome… I have teenage daughters. Currently, I am lower than slime at my house.

    Maman’s last blog post..Hmmm, I am nicer than I thought!

    Reply

  31. Janelle February 17, 2008 2:10 pm

    Just here to say again, “PICK ME!” (again) You said multiple entries are allowed :-)

    Janelle’s last blog post..Does YOUR Name Come With A Price?

    Reply

  32. Fluffy Cat February 17, 2008 3:06 pm

    I should win because this is the first time I’m commenting here. I would like the $25 iTunes gift card so I could get some new music and get out of my current music-listening ruts!

    Fluffy Cat’s last blog post..Proust, The Love-Killer

    Reply

  33. Amber February 17, 2008 3:19 pm

    Boy, did I ever come home on the right weekend to catch up on journals! Haha! :)

    I would like the Video Post, but on your blog. Or the written post, but also on your blog. Mine is not nearly popular enough and that would just kind of defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? If I was the only one to ever read it??

    As for why I “deserve” to win… uhm… I probably don’t. I’ve been terrible lately about keeping up on everyone’s blogs, commenting, and so on (through a string of mishaps, some my fault, some not). BUT! I do have an undying loyalty to you and your blog and catch up on it the first few minutes I get! And I’ve given you my cell phone number… something only a select few have been given just because I admire you so greatly and wanna be just like you when I grow up.

    So there.

    I don’t deserve it… and nothing I could write could compare to some of the funny ass comments in this section.

    But I thought it was worth a try :) .

    Amber’s last blog post..My Family and Friends: The Attention Whores!

    Reply

  34. Summer February 17, 2008 3:31 pm

    Ok, I’m entering your contest but I don’t have anything I can use itunes for, I’m not very awesome so you’d be hard pressed to come up with a video or post about me and I have my own boobies I can see whenever I want, which is never so that leaves the Amazon certificate.Thank goodness I don’t have to be funny to win.

    Reply

  35. Sarcastica February 17, 2008 3:45 pm

    I think I deserve the video post directed at me because not only am I amazingly intelligent and hilariously young, I’m gorgeous and you hearts me so much.

    I am also going to have your baby. So you owe me…

    Sarcastica’s last blog post..Drunken Escapades

    Reply

  36. Wicked H February 17, 2008 5:11 pm

    Hmmmm…

    Amazon Gift cert? Don’t really need anything.

    Guest post, always fun.

    Have as many tunes as this lo-tech gal needs.

    Video post, low tech, remember.

    No offense to you and your fabulous boobs, but I have a pretty darn nifty pair myself.

    Have fun choosing a winner, looks like you have many takers. Such the generous soul that you are, Brittski.

    Wicked H’s last blog post..Anatomy of an Idiot

    Reply

  37. Amy February 17, 2008 5:22 pm

    :lmao:

    Amy’s last blog post..You Can’t Make This Up!

    Reply

  38. L February 17, 2008 6:07 pm

    I have to go with the boobies, why because…. well no because I just have to an if Avitable is right an they arent your’s well Im not fussy (Im not a pervert Im just male) but Im sure yours are ace

    OK seriously I would actually like the Itunes Gift certificate as I lurrrve Itunes, but I really think tallyho should win so she can buy you one of her dad’s walking canes and make his day.

    Tell any one I was bein selfless and I’ll deny it or consult a hitman

    Reply

  39. Bec February 17, 2008 6:32 pm

    Ooo, the guest post devoted to my awesomeness because: a) my blog needs all the help it can get;
    b) I am awesome but am English so can’t just put it out there; c) you rock in ways that cannot be quantified; and d) I’m English… did I mention that…?

    Bec’s last blog post..Cat’s can blog too

    Reply

  40. Poppy February 17, 2008 9:10 pm

    I don’t like to win. :(

    But I wanted to let you know I like the idea! :)

    Reply

  41. Janelle February 17, 2008 10:02 pm

    Just here again to say, PICK ME!! PICK MEEEEE!!! :peace:

    Janelle’s last blog post..Dear God, do I get a gold star for being a better Christian?

    Reply

  42. hellohahanarf February 17, 2008 10:03 pm

    so when do you announce the winners?
    coz i wanna win.
    pick me, pick me!!

    Reply

  43. themuttprincess February 17, 2008 10:28 pm

    I deserve to win because I invited you to PRINCE. WITH ME. That alone makes me a winner, for trying anyhow. Damn you and having to find a house–and succeeding.

    I would like a guest post. Because, really, you on my blog would really spice things up.

    themuttprincess’s last blog post..Made it through NASCAR.

    Reply

  44. Finn February 17, 2008 10:51 pm

    You mean I can’t have them all?

    Hmmm…iTunes then.

    Why? Because I don’t usually win anything, and I can’t even buy new music right now. That’s how pathetic I am. :help:

    Finn’s last blog post..Friday Freewrite Four

    Reply

  45. bogup February 17, 2008 11:15 pm

    I’ll enter the one for pics of avitable’s boobs.
    No, that wasn’t correct, I want the $25 iTunes certificate, cause I just got a MacBook pro and transferred over my old tunes and need some new ones!

    Reply

  46. kapgar February 18, 2008 8:12 am

    iTunes gift certificate! Because I’ve wanted to do a contest again for a while and I’m too lazy and I promise not to steal your “World’s Worst Contest” idea.

    Not much of a reason, admittedly. But, like you said, not much of a contest, either. ;-)

    kapgar’s last blog post..Avec moi, c’est soi…

    Reply

  47. Kristin February 18, 2008 8:14 am

    This is fun! I think that I would like a surprise post……I kind of did a tribute post for you about a few of our fun moments, I wasnt to see what you recollect!
    Love ya!

    Kristin’s last blog post..Double Standards vol. 2

    Reply

  48. metalmom February 18, 2008 12:47 pm

    I would like the itunes certificate. Why? Because I promise to NEVER AGAIN enter a contest in which I stand a chance of beating you. Good deal or what?

    *You won’t let me win will you? :o hgreatone:

    metalmom’s last blog post..Monday Movie Mania with Metalmom

    Reply

  49. Miss Britt February 18, 2008 2:55 pm

    This entry was by email….

    “You have pictures of boobies, really??? I’m not naive enough to think that
    these would even possibly be pictures of yours but what the hell. . . I want
    to win because it’s frickin cold in Iowa and I need something to warm me up.
    If you know anythign about me then you know that these would do just fine. I
    hope you are enjoying Florida and all that it has to offer. Now send me
    pictures of boobies. Nobody, and I mean nobody likes them more than I do.”

    hahahahahahaha – consider yourself entered. ;-)

    Reply

  50. Nobody™ February 18, 2008 5:58 pm

    ^^^^ WRONG

    Nobody™ DOES like boobies more than the prior entrant.

    Nobody™’s last blog post..Random Find: Idiot

    Reply

  51. HoosierGirl February 18, 2008 6:22 pm

    I want a video post from you and Avitable to me, because I have a really boring life and you guys seem to be having all the fun! Okay, maybe just because it seems like fun. Actually, I would be happy with any of the prizes except the booby pics (I have my own set, thanks).

    Pick me, please. Pick me! :kiss:
    J.

    HoosierGirl’s last blog post..Wii Survived!

    Reply

  52. Jenny, Bloggess February 18, 2008 7:29 pm

    Video post. Preferably featuring boobies.

    Jenny, Bloggess’s last blog post..Speakerphone is sometimes a bad idea

    Reply

  53. Y2k Survivor February 18, 2008 8:07 pm

    6 Reasons Y2K should win pics of Miss Britt’s Boobies (accept no substitute)
    1. YOu don’t really know me
    2. You don’t read my blog
    3. Nobody reads my blog
    4. You don’t really like me
    5. This is a real lame list
    6. You know based on the reasons listed above, sending me pics of Miss Britt’s boobies will REALLY pissed off Avitable

    Reply

  54. Karl February 19, 2008 12:12 am

    Ooh, I’d like a video post of you telling everyone why you love me. This would be a great opportunity for you to read over my blog, get to know me, become infatuated with me, then stand outside my bathroom window so you can listen to me shower. You know, this is our courtship phase. Or something.

    Or hey, a nice blog post would be great, too.

    (I’m counting on Avi to get me shots of your boobies.)

    Karl’s last blog post..Dammit Jim, I’m a Car, Not a Belly Dancer!

    Reply

  55. DeannaBanana February 19, 2008 7:24 am

    My kid wants to win the itunes gift certificate because his mom is mean and never gives him any.

    DeannaBanana’s last blog post..Are You My Type?

    Reply

  56. maninthekitchen February 19, 2008 10:40 am

    I would like the “$25 Amazon Gift Certificate”.

    Why? So I can buy you something nice and send it to you.

    Reply

  57. Miss Britt February 19, 2008 10:47 am

    CONTEST OVER!! MANINTHEKITCHEN WINS AUTOMATICALLY!!!

    Ok.. I kid… I kid…

    Kind of.

    Reply

  58. Allyson February 19, 2008 11:14 am

    Um… I want to win. I wanted the Amazon GC, but I agree that helping what’s-her-name with buying stuff from her dad is important. I did the same thing when my dad was selling stuff on Amazon. So, instead I want to try to convince you of a different prize… How about you make my blog pretty??? I’ll even buy a domain name so you have no restrictions on perameters, and such.

    And I guess, if that’s a no, I’d like the guest post on my awesomeness. It should be pretty easy since there’s so much awesomeness to talk about. :-)

    Reply

  59. Sarah is Ok February 19, 2008 11:43 am

    Oooo, I would love a guest post. I totally don’t deserve it, but it would make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

    Reply

  60. Shelli February 19, 2008 12:25 pm

    I want the iTunes gift card. I deserve it because I have a lot in common with you and we RAWK!

    Shelli’s last blog post..Holy Crap! or Who The Hell Was That Girl?

    Reply

  61. Shelli February 19, 2008 12:26 pm

    I want the Amazon gift card and I deserve to win it because of the fact that we have a lot in common and we RAWK!

    Shelli’s last blog post..Holy Crap! or Who The Hell Was That Girl?

    Reply

  62. Allyson February 19, 2008 1:18 pm

    It’s tuesday and it’s 1pm. (1:19pm, actually) do we get to find out the results of the contest??

    Reply

  63. Miss Britt February 19, 2008 1:23 pm

    oh my fuck DUH

    I was thinking MIDNIGHT

    Ummm…. heh… yes, CONTEST IS CLOSED!!

    AM OFF TO RANDOMIZE AND WILL ANNOUNCE THE WINNER TOMORROW!!!

    :slaphead: :slaphead: :slaphead:

    Reply

  64. B.E. Earl February 19, 2008 2:34 pm

    The internet was created so that we could have quick and easy access to boobie pictures.

    So, I’m gonna go with that.

    Winnah, winnah, chicken dinnah!!!

    B.E. Earl’s last blog post..Black Metal Dreams

    Reply

  65. B.E. Earl February 19, 2008 2:35 pm

    Oops…too late! :)

    B.E. Earl’s last blog post..Black Metal Dreams

    Reply

  66. bogup February 19, 2008 5:07 pm

    I won, I just know it, I won.
    Just waiting now for the confirmation…

    Reply

  67. whall February 19, 2008 7:01 pm

    I want guest post or video dedicated to my awesomeness.

    I think you should pick me because of the challenge this would pose to your skill set. You would come out the other end an extremely polished bs’er. :)

    whall’s last blog post..I’m not here at the moment, please leave a message…

    Reply

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