Dear Miss Britt,
I am writing you to ask for your assistance on a beauty problem.
I am 28 and have recently started to have LARGE PORES. Until recently my skin had normal problems, but nothing like being able to stash things for safe keeping in my pores. I have combo skin with a oily T-zone, which is located in part of the pore problem. These damn things have become noticeable on my nose, cheeks and chin. So bad that I HAVE to wear makeup for fear something will get stuck or lost in them.
I know a few months ago you mentioned that you recently had noticed enlarged pores since your move. I was wondering if you found any magical cure or fountain of youth? I am at the point I am willing to try anything. I do have a facial scheduled for February, but who knows if that will even help. I have numerous products ranging from Wal-Mart cheap to salon expensive and none have seemed to do a damn thing.
Please help a bitch be pretty again!!!
Oh, my sweet. I did indeed experience a skin revolt when I moved here. Up until The Move, I had basically perfect skin. Minimal blemishes, no oil slicks, very rare dry patches that could quickly be corrected with a little extra moisturizer, and I had no idea what people were talking about when they discussed “pores”. How the hell could pores be visible?, I wondered.
And then I entered a land of high humidity and my skin wigged the fuck out. Suddenly I had zits and oil and nastiness and these holes on my face. Big, gaping HOLES that I was just sure could swallow a small child with little or no warning.
I went in search via the Internet, TLC and Beauty Columns. I took full advantage of my new access to fancy schmancy beauty stores like Sephora and Ulta. Blah blah blah yada yada the tale of Miss Britt’s quest for her lost porcelain skin…
Anyway. Here we are. And I have to be honest with you, here is not exactly pretty.
That’s me, fresh from the shower (with shirt still on my head! (Because everyone knows you use shirts, not towels, on your head - right?)). No makeup, no nothing. Clearly.
You too can have red blotchy skin that requires make up to go into public!!
No, seriously. I have advice.
ANYway - the first thing I learned about big ass pores is that it comes from unbalanced skin. Which is NOT necessarily the same as OILY skin. So washing your face fifty times a day in order to get rid of excess oil? Not such a great idea. (And incidentally, NOT washing your face to make sure your pores don’t have to work overtime because surely that makes sense - also not a good idea).
Here’s how you get your skin in balance: wash it. First thing in the morning, and right before bed. (And yes, that one two over half the time that you are too fucking tired and just collapse into bed because you can no longer see the make up anyway? That counts. In a bad way.)
Seriously though, it has itty bitty scrubber things in it, and that’s enough for me. You can get expensive stuff. I have some expensive stuff. It’s just - meh, it’s basically soap. As long as it’s not actual soap that will strip the shit out of your skin, I’ve found that the washy stuff is less important than the moisturizer.
Which brings us to part two of the secret to balanced skin (and eventually smaller pores): moisturize it. Not too much, not too little, after you wash your face twice a day. Finding a moisturizer that is right for your skin (not too much, not too little) can be tricky.
My current favorite is some free stuff I got from AmyD actually. I also have loads of mini tubs in that cabinet full of really expensive shit that I hate. But they are mini tubs - which means they didn’t cost me a dime. Go to Sephora and ask for samples. You’ll be able to tell almost instantly if it goes on smooth and leaves your skin feeling soft, or if it makes it feel kind of tight and not right. Obviously “tight and not right” would be bad.
OK - so, wash your face and use moisturizer. I’m sure you’ve been doing that. And I’m sure, like me, what you’re really hoping I’ll tell you is that I’ve found some magical product that you can put on and BAM! No more visible pores! And BAM OVER TIME! The pores actually tighten up and disappear for real!
Something, perhaps, like this:
(cue angels singing)
That is Dr. Brandt’s Pores No More. And it represents the hopes and dreams of big pored women everywhere. It promises to cover and tighten. It uses words like porcelain and smooth.
And all of that is pretty much a load of $45 a tube CRAP.
OK, Ok, I’m sorry. It’s not that bad. Once I got over my initial disappointment that this very expensive shit did not give me instant china doll skin, I figured out there are some good things that it does - if you know how to use it.
First - SHAKE the tube. I know, it’s a TUBE - not a bottle. But shake it anyway. Otherwise it is separated goo. Shake the tube and it will be like foundation, basically.
Second - use a sponge. And this is crucial. Because you are going to use the sponge to BASICALLY SPACKLE YOUR FACE. Really. (Trust me, the TLC make up chics say so.) You put the crap on the sponge and rub it on your face and basically push it into your pores. Have you ever put puddy in a dry wall hole? It’s like that.
The nice thing about this really expensive stuff is that it is tinted - so if you can get the washing and the moisturizing down to an Every Day Yes Even When You’re Tired routine, you may be able to get away with just using this with no makeup.
Unless you’re me. If you’re me, you have two problems with this stuff. Number one: sometimes you are just TIRED and so maybe the whole face washing thing is HARD some nights, don’t you judge me! Number two: it’s $45 a fucking TUBE! Seriously.
So, if you are me, you keep searching for an alternative and find something quite strange on the Internet. Something so strange, it might actually work. And you think… well… maybe it’s worth a shot. Just maybe…
I swear. Really. I actually put this on my face.
It is like $7 a tube and it is some of the BEST primer/pore spackler stuff you can buy. It won’t do much to actually shrink your pores, but it will cover them up and fill them in enough that with makeup you can be fabulous.
And, I’m sorry, but leaving the house without makeup should end at like 16 anyway. I don’t care what size your pores are.
(Do you have a burning question you’d like Miss Britt to answer? Email me at britt @ miss-britt dot com and I’ll sure as hell do my best! Anonymous questions (or posted as anonymous anyway) are totally A-OK too.)
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I think you look perfectly fine without makeup, too. But I am glad you got your pores under control. I lost a watch in there!
February 5th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
It just occurred to me… you should have Adam write you one of his cool disclaimers for your WWMBD posts!! :thumbsup:
February 6th, 2008 at 1:01 am
I guess my question is just gonna have to be too obvious…how did you sort using the ‘down there’ product on your face—inquiring minds need to know;-)
February 6th, 2008 at 2:56 am
I, um…
well…
I don’t know. Jesus, this was a girly post.
February 6th, 2008 at 5:30 am
I enjoyed the glimpse inside your bathroom cabinet much more than I really should have there - am nosey.
I’m with you on the not going out without makeup after the age of 16, though. For me, I started even earlier that that, but that’s because I look like an old hag without my makeup.
February 6th, 2008 at 7:06 am
Yes, if you’re putting yeast chafing gel on your face - what the hell is next??? I’m scared and excited at the same time to find out! :what:
February 6th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Why is your bathroom cabinet that empty? You can fit about 2-3 times as much in there… I should know, I do…
February 6th, 2008 at 7:29 am
I would have never thought to put monostat chaffing cream on my face…but if it works it works! I do however use preparation h on my puffy eyes sometimes and I swear to god it works!
February 6th, 2008 at 8:52 am
sheesh, you are gonna hate my no make up wearing self. wait!! does mascara count? coz i sometimes wear mascara. and i love lipstick. so maybe you won’t hate me. even though usually i leave home lucky to have washed my face. with the same yellow dial soap that i used on the rest of me.
(hope my female card doesn’t get taken away)
p.s. how awesome are you, what with the spell check button and all. you rock!
February 6th, 2008 at 9:25 am
No no no - I often leave home without make up - and yes, it drives Miss Britt crazy - and yes, having caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror sometimes while I’m out - I absolutely should not.
Still, the best is when I went to the convenience store wearing my tie dyed pink sweat pants - and then got gas - and then of course had to chat with people there - and Miss Britt caught me….
bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
February 6th, 2008 at 10:13 am
You won a RFS Blog Award!
hooray for you!
February 6th, 2008 at 10:13 am
avitable: that’s not where you lost your watch. And no, you can’t have it back.
AmyD: you think this should come with a disclaimer?
turnbaby: I read it on the Internet, of course! I had a hell of a time finding that stuff too - not at Walgreens anywhere!
Mr. Fab: you’re welcome for that, by the way.
Amber: stay tuned for glimpses inside other personal storage units.
Kimberly: YEAST?!?! It has nothing to do with YEAST!! LOL
I think the product was originally designed to help if your thighs rub together.
DutchBitch: because there are 4 medicine cabinets in this house. And lots and lots of linen closets and drawers and under the sink cabinets.
debkitty: I need to try that preparation H thing - my eyes are always puffy and baggy at the same time.
hellohahanarf: I am going to hate you if you are cute enough to pull it off.
But it’s an envious hate - so that’s OK.
February 6th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Mom: and it’s moments like that I cling to the fantasy that I could be adopted.
Christie: oh joy
February 6th, 2008 at 10:16 am
I have big pores, but I am way too lazy and unmotivated to wear makeup. (Nothing on the planet is going to change this. Nothing. Even if I move to Fancyland, I still won’t wear anything more than mascara and chapstick. TFB.)
I am going to get some of that equate stuff, though. I’m really glad TMP asked, because I was thinking of polling my girlfriends about this very soon.
February 6th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Um, hm. I uh, don’t, um even really know how to wear make-up. Unless, you know, I’m going to be swinging on a pole in a poorly lit bar. I should be wearing the stuff during the day?? Oh…hm.
February 6th, 2008 at 10:36 am
This is my favorite post so far this year! Really, thanks for the advice. I will be getting all that good stuff ASAP!! I will do a before and after thingy on my blog in a few weeks- I’ll let you know when so you can stop by! :-)
February 6th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Do you have something that will help with the itchy DRY baggy skin under my eyes??? Moving from MY “home” climate has killed my skin, I would die for my tzone oily skin right now!
February 6th, 2008 at 11:26 am
I don’t wear any makeup. And I usually just use Oil of Olay mosturizer, nothing to fancy. And I have dry skin, so I just wash my face in the morning, in the shower.
Um…I don’t understand why a shirt, not a towel….
February 6th, 2008 at 11:52 am
I knew you LOVED me!
So, basically after all that you have proved to me that there is no “fix” for the pores. What I need to do instead is spackle the shit outta my face. Ok. I will try that.
I don’t know how I feel about the stuff for DOWN THERE, but I will give it some serious thought!!! Especially since $7 bucks a tube is WAAAAAAAY better than $45. Ouch.
February 6th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Cetaphil is a really good for balancing your skin too. It doesn’t dry your skin up. If you’re oily like I am you can just rinse it off instead of tissuing it off. Walgreens makes a generic version.
Walgreens doesn’t carry that Monistat stuff? Where’d you get it? I use a primer every day, but if I can get better results for just $7, I’m in!
Great post. Thanks!
February 6th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Not at Walgreens?
Well then where sugar?
February 6th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
No, it doesn’t NEED one… it would just be funny.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
You have balls! Not that you look horrible, b/c you don’t. But still, to put a photo post-shower in a post about big pores…well, I bow down to your giant balls. Great post!
February 6th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Instead of spackling, you should use Bare Escentuals. I swear it covers everything and doesn’t leave your skin feeling greasy. Plus, I think since I started seeing less zits, possibly because my pores aren’t getting clogged with the spackle type stuff. Just me, maybe…BTW, Finn introduced me to the Bare Escentuals. It’s awesome.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
“…and these holes on my face. Big, gaping HOLES…”
Well that explains what happened to my car keys…
-and the tv remote…
-and Jimmy Hoffa…
-and Amelia Airheart…
-and the Edmund Fitzgerald (wait, they found that one, didn’t they? Must have been after an exfoliation)
-and my self esteem…
-and the Mars Surveyor…
-and….
February 6th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
It looks amazing up in this piece!
February 6th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Britt! I love the new background!! Please hook me up with something as awesome as this, please please please, pretty please!!
February 6th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
HEEEYYY! You didn’t have this design when I was here earlier. I LIKE it!
February 6th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Gorgeous! Nice work….
February 6th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Bare Esscentuals is the bomb, but I use a primer to help keep in place and cover the *ahem* wrinkles.
February 6th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
I haven’t used soap on my face since I was 26 and that was oh, about 30 years ago. So, you are so right about this advice! When you’re in your 20’s or 30’s you might not notice the difference, but trust me, once you’re in your 40’s and 50’s you’ll regret using soap. I use Philosophy skin care and have for about 4-5 years now. Purity Made Simple is the best cleanser around: it even takes off mascara, but rinses off with water and leaves your skin really clean (deep pores included) and soft.
Moisturizer is not an option when you’re a woman. I think the key is “water-based”.
If the job with Avitable tanks, you are certainly qualified to work at Sephora or Ulta3!
February 6th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I’m with Fab. More of the pretty-pretty and less of the pores and shit. I don’t want to know how sausage is made either, in case you’re wondering.
February 6th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
Wow, Monistat for your face. I mean, I’ve heard of using Preparation H to tighten up around the eyes, but you are a fount of new (and somewhat disturbing) information. But, whatever it takes in the name of beauty, right? I’ve been known to put toothpaste on my zits before bedtime…
By the way, your new template is super hot!
February 6th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Poppy: if you can pull that off (and I’ve seen you, you do) - then more power to you!
Allyson: what do you mean you don’t know how???
Janelle: LOL I’ll look forward to seeing how it works for you!
Kristin: actually… yes. DRY skin I know how to deal with.
Lynda: it stops your hair from having breakage.
themuttprincess: yeah, I know. It sucks. LOL
Finn: I’ve heard that about Cetaphill. And that stuff is supposed to be exactly the same texture, etc. as Smashbox Primer!!
turnbaby: Wal-Mart, in the feminine product aisle. You have to wade through a lot of yeast cream to find it though!
AmyD: :-)
Sarah is Ok: ah but notice I made SURE to include the last picture as well, even though it was completely irrelevant. ;-)
Shelli: I’ve heard mixed reviews about that stuff - love it or hate it.
Effortlessly Average: I don’t think I have your self esteem in there… but car keys….
Peggy: thanks!
Janelle: I didn’t do it for myself! LOL
Shelli: shhhhhh… it’s a secret!
Cary: thank you!
Finn: SOMEONE just sent me an email with BE on sale…
Mrs RW: LOVE the philosophy line! And I’ve been meaning to try out their wash, have heard it’s awesome… but I have to use up all the stuff I already have first. Me being frugal and all.
diesel: heh, so you’re saying this is why I never win those “hottest mom” things?
Tense Teacher: teatree oil on your zits!
And, um, in case you DO decide to try it… it’s not THAT Monistat.
February 6th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Just coming back to say that I thought of you when I exfoliated last night. Is that weird?
February 7th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I think I might have found a better solution to the probem, but then again I don’t know nuttin bout no lookin’ pretty.
http://www.woodcraft.com/InhancedImage.aspx?FamilyID=4492
February 7th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Hey I was just told my comment was “awaiting moderation” WTF is that? I never needed no moderation before! Hell as you can tell by my fat ass and lack of friends, I don’t do NUTTIN in moderation! SO I just KNOW you can’t be talking to me! Then I went to Wikpedia and looked it up to see what this meant and I read:
A forum moderator, often shortened to just mod or known as a forum ninja, is a person granted special powers to enforce the rules of an Internet forum (message board) or electronic mailing list
Soooooooo if I am awaiting MODERATION… does this mean you are about to make me a Ninja too? PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE???? PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE! I always wanted to be a tough guy bad ass Ninja killer dude cuzz they get all the tail! THANKS MISS BRITT!!!!
February 7th, 2008 at 3:25 pm