Why This Zoo Hater Is Now An Official Annual Member

by Miss Britt on February 19, 2008

Quick reminder! The Worst Contest Ever ends tonight at 12pm EST. Get your entries in so I can give away some prizes!
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I hate the zoo.

Hate, hate, hate, hate, haaaaate. The zoo.

My hatred of the zoo is so vehement that it has become one of those things that family legends and long running jokes are made of.

I blame my mother.

When I was very young, my mother and I lived in Chicago with my Nana and Poppi. And there are lots and lots of wonderful things you can do with a small child in Chicago. There are even lots of free things you can do with a small child in Chicago.

But do you know what that woman made me do the most?

Wander around the fucking zoo.

I think it was probably around the 136th time I heard “oh, look, it’s a zebra” that I decided zoos suck big monkey ass.

This has not changed simply because I now have children. Or because I have a zoo ten minutes from my house. Or because it was 80 degrees this weekend and a trip to the zoo sounded like something the kids would enjoy. I may have suggested we go, but not at all as a sign that my hatred for zoos is waning!!

There is still absolutely nothing fun about standing around and staring at animals while they eat.

“Mom, look, it licks me…

feeding the goats

I mean seriously. They are just freaking animals. Sitting there.

“Mama, can I touch it?”

devin petting the turtle

I have never understood why that is so fascinating to people.

“Mommy, I touch a turtle too…”

emma petting turtle

Maybe it’s because I’ve never been enthralled with the idea of just watching anything. I like to be doing, rather than sitting and looking. Whether it’s nature walks or OMG THE LEAVES ARE CHANGING drives or… zoos. There are very few things in this world that are interesting enough to just fucking LOOK at.

“Do you see it Mom? Do you see it?”

watching the swamp

Some people actually get excited about going to the zoo. I imagine these are people who do not know what they are in for. Who the hell gets excited about animals that just lay there??

OMG ITZ A SNAKE!!!

Yeah. Zoos are stupid. Boring. Hot. Wandering around just… looking.

And how fun is it too just… look?

**Sigh**

“Yes baby, I see it…”

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Posted in Kids and Parenting - Real Mommy Blogging Tagged: , , , ,

48 Comments so far

  1. avitable February 18, 2008 5:14 pm

    That last picture is a nice one.

    I’ll take them to the zoo. And the Alligator Farm. And Sea World. I love those places!

    Reply

  2. Karl February 19, 2008 12:16 am

    Ooh, can I go with Avi and your kids? I love going to parks with kids…they see everything with those fantastic eyes. Kind of lights a little kindling in my inner child.

    Karl’s last blog post..Dammit Jim, I’m a Car, Not a Belly Dancer!

    Reply

  3. Janelle February 19, 2008 12:17 am

    I’m with you Britt- we have a zoo close by, my cousin (aka SUPER MOM) has like a year pass or something crazy like that. You know how many times I’ve been to the zoo- ZERO! Well, since my adult life anyway. My kids go when I “suggest” that my cousin takes mine with her kids or my mother in law is kind enough to take them…I hear stories upon their return and that’s good enough for me. Oh! last time, my mother in law made a scrapbook of their adventure to the zoo, YAY!

    Janelle’s last blog post..February 18th, the day that changed everything

    Reply

  4. Janelle February 19, 2008 12:18 am

    But I would like to go to Sea World, that would be kinda fun…Britt you go first and then tell me if I should go :peace:

    Janelle’s last blog post..February 18th, the day that changed everything

    Reply

  5. Geeky Tai-Tai February 19, 2008 12:28 am

    I :heartbeat: that last picture! BTW, I don’t do zoos either.

    Geeky Tai-Tai’s last blog post..We Had a Very SPECIAL Visitor!

    Reply

  6. Jay February 19, 2008 12:40 am

    I like the giraffes the best. I want a pet giraffe. I bet it would take a dump truck to haul off all the giraffe poop each week. But it would be worth it cause telling chicks I have a pet giraffe would be a great pick up line.

    Jay’s last blog post..Out of Control Nose Hair …

    Reply

  7. flutter February 19, 2008 12:46 am

    your little animals are cute though…

    flutter’s last blog post..In the shadow of dreams

    Reply

  8. Clown February 19, 2008 12:53 am

    I agree with King Hippo. Those kinds of places are great.

    Besides, I thought you go to church down here. Church is a lot like the zoo, but with more poo flinging.

    Reply

  9. Mary February 19, 2008 1:06 am

    Your photo’s are fabulous!!

    Reply

  10. DeppFan February 19, 2008 1:34 am

    I hate the zoo too. Went to the Bronx Zoo this past summer. That’ll hold me for about a decade. Camels stink to high heaven!

    Reply

  11. DutchBitch February 19, 2008 1:37 am

    Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Well, you got thru the day for the kids… RESPECT Hon!

    DutchBitch’s last blog post..Get That Thing Away From Me!

    Reply

  12. Mr. Fabulous February 19, 2008 5:40 am

    Oh yeah, you gotta take them to the Alligator Farm in St. Augustine. WAY cool!

    I like the zoo, but I would like it even more if I could see some of that monkey ass sucking you speak of.

    Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Crazy 8’s! God what a dumb name…

    Reply

  13. Miss Britt February 19, 2008 7:22 am

    avitable: you can come to the alligator farm with us – we want to take Creed apparently.

    Karl: yeah… that was actually supposed to be the point of this post. Which obviously FLOPPED horribly. LOL

    It was really amazing to see it with them.

    Janelle: you should take them. I would never go to a zoo on my own – hate, hate, hate. But after taking the kids – I bought an annual family pass.

    Geeky Tai-Tai: me too.

    Jay: that would totally get chics!

    flutter: yeah, and as loud as those damn monkeys. ;-)

    Clown: you and King Hippo should take my kids to Sea World! (the only thing I hate more than the zoo is Sea World)

    Mary: thank you!

    DeppFan: and all this time I thought I was the only one.

    DutchBitch: I’m glad I did too – it was a lot of fun with them.

    Mr. Fab: it’s way the fuck over in St. Augustine?!?! Damn. I thought it was closer than that.

    Reply

  14. Aunt Robin February 19, 2008 7:25 am

    Awesome photos, Britt!

    Do you know we don’t have a zoo here? Not one. The closest zoo is a 5 hour drive south. I guess zebras and desert tortoise don’t appreciate our sub-zero wind chills. Polar bears? Oh, yeah. They’d love us.

    And I would love to go to the zoo.

    Aunt Robin’s last blog post..The More Things Change…

    Reply

  15. turnbaby February 19, 2008 7:38 am

    I love just looking at things–like the pics of your babies. I love the one with the two of them ‘just looking’ And the last one—AWESOME!!

    turnbaby’s last blog post..TurnbabyTalks Trivia Throwdown

    Reply

  16. Nobody™ February 19, 2008 9:01 am

    I love the zoo. How can you not like the big gorillas? Oh yeah, I forgot you work with Avitable

    Nobody™’s last blog post..A day of Nothing

    Reply

  17. Britt's Mom February 19, 2008 9:16 am

    YAY!!!! Genetics rule!!

    Like most cool things, it appears “love of zoos” is one of those things that skips a generation.

    I LOVE zoos!!

    Good for you, little one! :clap:

    Britt’s Mom’s last blog post..Peeling Back the Layers

    Reply

  18. Coal Miner's Granddaughter February 19, 2008 9:20 am

    The payoff is when the animals start to fuck. That’s what makes the zoo worthwhile!

    Coal Miner’s Granddaughter’s last blog post..Dialog, Part 4

    Reply

  19. ADW February 19, 2008 9:31 am

    I could care less about zoos. We have a really fabulous zoo up here along with a Rainforest, so that is kind of neat. I actually like taking the kids to the science center way more than the zoo. There are all kinds of hands on activities for them to do and they learn at the same time.

    ADW’s last blog post..Holy Shit!!

    Reply

  20. The Absurdist February 19, 2008 9:42 am

    God, I hope the kids washed their hands after petting the turtle! The last thing you need is salmonella poisoning all over the house!

    The Absurdist’s last blog post..Who is the REAL Absurdist around here?

    Reply

  21. Kristin February 19, 2008 9:43 am

    I love the zoo….and your son has been to the zoo with me a ton of times! I do vividly remember you telling him on a trip to the zoo in Omaha, where were the husbands I have no idea, but you told him that the big fat sun bear looked like his “uncle Burt” LMAO. That was hilarious, and for the record it was funny when I was married to him and it’s more funny now that I am not!

    Kristin’s last blog post..I Never Thought

    Reply

  22. Fantastagirl February 19, 2008 10:04 am

    My kids love the zoo – and to see the excitement in my daughter’s eyes is worth it. I loved the aquarium at the Omaha Zoo – could have spent hours in there.

    Fantastagirl’s last blog post..Today this is me

    Reply

  23. Miss Britt February 19, 2008 10:14 am

    Aunt Robin: the closest one from where we lived before was 2 hours away. The closest GOOD zoo was 4 hours.

    turnbaby: I could sit and just look at them for hours and hours… but I’m their Mommy.

    Nobody™: gorillas aren’t bad I suppose.

    Britt’s Mom: or it’s a child thing. Did I like the zoo when I was little?

    I don’t remember liking them like my kids did, but maybe my memory is clouded by my hatred.

    CMG: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

    ADW: oooh – I forgot about the Science Center! My son LOVED that back there! I wonder if we have one of those around here…

    The Absurdist: there was lots of hand washing that day. LOL

    Kristin: I know! But now I don’t have anyone to pawn them off on! (thank goodness… or I would have missed this…)

    Fantastagirl: yeah, that’s kind of what I was trying to get at here.. that seeing how they reacted made it unexpectedly awesome.

    Reply

  24. Kimberly February 19, 2008 10:29 am

    Love the zoo. When we lived in Oklahoma, we went like a million times. (not too much to do there) It’s a great place for kids to run and play and explore and then nap all the way home. Ahhhh.

    Kimberly’s last blog post..Think Pink

    Reply

  25. Kyra/the108 February 19, 2008 10:38 am

    It’s a tad bit depressing to see them like that. The food is too expensive and there is always some peacock or something out trolling around ready to peck at my ass when I walk by. I seem to get chased by the damned things they allow to roam freely.

    Kyra/the108’s last blog post..How to save the world

    Reply

  26. themuttprincess February 19, 2008 10:48 am

    I love that last picture of Emma!

    I am not a huge zoo person either, but I still take my son and he is 12. He loves it. Oh the sacrifices we make as mothers!!!!!

    themuttprincess’s last blog post..QOTD…. It IS Tuesday after all!

    Reply

  27. Allyson February 19, 2008 11:50 am

    Emma’s a dollbaby, and all, but I thought the picture of Devin getting excited over the African Bullfrog was the best. Looks like you had a good time. I can’t wait to take my kids to the circus. It’s down the road, and will probably happen this weekend… before it’s too late!

    Reply

  28. Shelli February 19, 2008 12:30 pm

    Don’t let the children know you hate it. They seem to love it. That is exactly why I don’t tell my children that I hate liver. Who knows, they might love it. When they are ever going to get a chance to try it is beyond me because it will be over my dead body that anyone cooks it in my kitchen.

    Shelli’s last blog post..Holy Crap! or Who The Hell Was That Girl?

    Reply

  29. Shelli February 19, 2008 12:33 pm

    Animal Kingdom, Disney World is the best ever. You gotta take them there and go on the safari ride. It is so awesome. Sea World is awesome, too. I could live at Sea World.

    Shelli’s last blog post..Holy Crap! or Who The Hell Was That Girl?

    Reply

  30. Rachel February 19, 2008 1:34 pm

    The Philadelphia Zoo is about an hour from me and I always want to go….however the last time I was there was about 22 years ago. Damn, that makes me feel old. I had to think about the math ;)

    Regardless of how you felt about your trip to the zoo…the photos of your children enjoying it are priceless. It’s awesome that you capture so many great memories on film like that!

    Rachel’s last blog post..All over the place…

    Reply

  31. hellohahanarf February 19, 2008 2:07 pm

    on one hand i absolutely love the zoo. we are talking LOVE. pictures in books only so so much, but to see a lion up close is phenomenal. to see an octopus thisclose from me. the gentle elephants, so inquisitive. sigh. i love being so close to the animals, even if there is no way to properly convey why.

    and for the record, zoos are also incredibly educational…just in a different way than the science center is. there are plenty of informational items posted near the animal that is being viewed.

    however, on the other hand, i hate that zoos confine such magnificent creatures in small spaces. even if they don’t have bars anymore, even if they have these open spaces created to be like their natural habitat, they are still confined. still in animal prison. and that makes me sad.

    so yeah. i go to zoos as often as i can and i love it, yet feel guilty while i am there.

    Reply

  32. Amy February 19, 2008 2:32 pm

    Ok, so when my sister was 4 and I was 7 my parents took her to the zoo. I elected to stay home with my Nana because Nana was way cooler than looking at a bunch of miserable animals in cages when they should probably be out in the wild.

    Not that all zoos are bad. Some are quite nice for the animals but I think those are referred to as animal sanctuaries not zoos.

    ANYYYYway, when my parents and sister returned home I got to hear that the monkeys through shit at people – LITERALLY. And, that the lion took a giant piss and it actually hit someone not unlike a freaking fire hose.

    I never wanted to go to a zoo after that.

    I did take my kids to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado and I did really like that place. The animals looked happy and there were windows and what not so I was going to get pelted with shit or something.

    Amy’s last blog post..You Can’t Make This Up!

    Reply

  33. RW February 19, 2008 3:47 pm

    I wouldn’t belong to any zoo that would have me as a member (hic)…

    RW’s last blog post..:-/

    Reply

  34. Summer February 19, 2008 7:04 pm

    I feel that way about the circus. Love the last picture of your baby. Very artsy fartsy.

    Reply

  35. Miss Britt February 19, 2008 7:17 pm

    Kimberly: three. hour. nap. How freaking awesome is that?

    Kyra/the108: you’re reminding me of something I’ve tried to suppress I think…

    themuttprincess: ain’t that the truth!

    Allyson: yeah, I like that one too!

    Shelli: no, I didn’t – I let them enjoy it.

    Rachel: I’m just glad I had a few that turned out OK! It always look so much better in person than it turns out in the picture.

    hellohahanarf: are you Jewish or Cathoic?

    Amy: I laughed my ass off at this. :lmao:

    RW: those kind are hard to find anyway. ;-)

    Summer: artsy fartsy.. he he he he

    Reply

  36. metalmom February 19, 2008 7:36 pm

    I have a fascination with the zoo. And the Camden Aquarium. Is it the animals? The smell? Or maybe it is the fact that I have seen huge land turtles and sharks fucking…..that was cool!!! (and according to the scientists at the aquarium, the shark thing is rare to see!) :clap:

    metalmom’s last blog post..How Did I Miss It?

    Reply

  37. Mrs RW February 19, 2008 8:00 pm

    I LOVE zoos. Every time I go to Brookfield Zoo I feel like a kid again (sort of how I feel about Disney). I think even if watching the animals can be boring, I also think it’s important for the next generation to see up close all the wonderful animals that are in the bigger world. How else for them to have opinions as adults that it’s important to not denude the rain forests or clear-cut the environment of an animal that cannot be replaced?

    Which, of course, is why you purchased the annual membership, right? (of course, it was probably cheaper in the long run; but that’s okay).

    Reply

  38. Clown February 19, 2008 9:12 pm

    Because Pirate Seal are fun, I have an annual for Sea World!

    Awww, look at Emma #2 looking through the glass.
    :nana:

    Reply

  39. Little Miss Sunshine State February 19, 2008 9:43 pm

    Was that the Central Florida Zoo? I heard they have a new baby 1 week old monkey. We haven’t been there yet.
    Sea World ROCKS! I went 7 times last year. I also went to Disney Animal Kingdom twice.
    There’s one of those gator places in Orlando too.

    Little Miss Sunshine State’s last blog post..I Changed the Name of the Post

    Reply

  40. Traci (Zoo Lover) February 19, 2008 10:01 pm

    Ok so this was the real reason your ass was in such a hurry. Boooooooo to the zoo haters of the world.

    Reply

  41. Peggy February 19, 2008 10:43 pm

    It’s the opposite here. The kids won’t let me take them to the zoo.

    Reply

  42. Miss Britt February 20, 2008 6:10 am

    metalmom: sharks??

    Mrs RW: no, it wasn’t cheaper – but I think we’ll be back. A lot.

    Clown: :nana:

    Little Miss Sunshine State: no, another dinky one. I’ll have to find the gator place in Orlando!!

    Traci: hahaha NO!!!! Well, it might have been why I only planned for 2 hours. But I loved it in the end! promise!!

    Peggy: oh now that is just sad.

    Reply

  43. Randi February 20, 2008 10:51 am

    First time reader and I’m kind of shocked – from the back (and the side, too), your daughter and mine look so much alike that I would mistake them easily! This is a first for me! So freaky!!

    Randi’s last blog post..Approval

    Reply

  44. Dan February 20, 2008 5:39 pm

    I got married in central park zoo.

    I quite like them myself.

    Dan’s last blog post..The sad thing is he scored higher than me

    Reply

  45. hellohahanarf February 20, 2008 5:50 pm

    i’ve always wanted to check out central park zoo. just haven’t had the chance.

    one zoo that i FINALLY got to see was the san diego zoo. all those years of joan embry on johnny carson had me longing to check that place out. i got to see panda bears!! watching them gave me a such a feeling of wanting to save bamboo forrests, wanting to protect such an amazing animal. so yeah, i love zoos.

    and i think it is awesome that you are an annual member.

    Reply

  46. Selma February 21, 2008 6:48 am

    We have a great zoo in Sydney called Taronga Zoo. I enjoy visiting it but sometimes I feel sad for all the animals stuck in there unable to wander free. I just hope they’re all treated well. The tigers are my favourites – such majestic animals!

    Selma’s last blog post..I See A Full Moon Rising

    Reply

  47. Lynda February 21, 2008 1:42 pm

    I like the zoo. I think it will be better when I can bring my nephew to the zoo though.

    Lynda’s last blog post..Lucky Star

    Reply

  48. Miss Britt February 21, 2008 2:26 pm

    Randi: first time THAT has been what shocks someone. Whew.

    Dan: OK that is just ridiculously romantic.

    hellohahanarf: you’re in general more lovey that me anyway.

    Selma: tigers are fun. We have kangaroos in the zoo here!

    Lynda: I think I am in the minority, definitely.

    Reply

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