*alternate title: I told you I get bizarre ass hate like email!
Apparently there is a real live Mr. Britt. (As opposed to the Mister Miss Britt whose name is not at all actually Mr. Britt. (Except that it totally is Mister Miss Britt. You know it is.))
And I have made him feel sad in his pants. Oh, sorry, ashamed in his pants.
I was a little startled. Lots of people have been ashamed of me over the years, for lots of different shameful things. But my name? That seemed like a bit much, even for me.
(Yes, of course I meant “dregs of humanity”. Obviously.)
You know, I’ve been meaning to have a talk to you all about my name anyway. Perhaps Mr. Britt is right, and I should take this moment to explain the holy-and-not-at-all-shameful origins of “Miss Britt”.
First of all, as Mr. Britt will be relieved to know, Britt is my first name. Not my “sur-name” (or “last name” for you unedumucated folks.).
And yes, it’s Britt.
“Oh, you mean like Britney?”
No, I mean like Britt.
“You know ma’am, we need your full name on these forms. I understand you go by Britt, but the name on your birth certificate is probably Britney.”
Yes, thank you, really. I am sure. Full. Legal. Name. Britt. Just Britt.
I’ve actually been lectured on the legitimacy of my name being “Britt” by people ranging from banking officials to high school teachers. (Thanks Mom!)
And, no, it is not a boy’s name. OK, sometimes it’s a boys name.
But not this time! This time I am sure it’s a girl’s name. I can say this with certainty because, like so many people, I was actually named after someone - who is a girl.
And here we come to the heart of the matter. The real life, true and actual origins of my name being Britt (or “Miss Britt”, if you’re nastay.)
I was named after someone who meant the world to my mother. Someone who inspired her. Someone she aspired to be like, in all the ways that mattered. Yes, it’s true… I was named after Rod Stewart’s girlfriend.
Britt Ekland was famous for her high profile romances. (Again, thanks Mom!) She dated rock stars and millionaires and 17-year-old boys. She was one of the first celebrities to sue for palimony, setting the Hollywood precedent that companionship comes at a price. Oh, and she was an actress. A Bond Girl even.
Yeah, I know. I can’t even segue that into a sarcastic remark with a straight face.
My mom named me after a gold digger. YAY!
I bet she is a proponent of cute shoes too.
Posted in It's All About Me
I tell everyone you’re named after Brit Hume.
The real story is much cooler.
At least your not named after a shitty alt rock band from the 90s
I just love it when self-righteous douchebags climb out of the woodwork to pass judgement on the world! Enjoy your new-found fame!
Poor Mr. Britt. He lives a very sad and unfulfilled life.
When you said your real first name was “Britt” the first person I thought of was Britt Ekland. She was hot.
I did always wonder if your name was actually Britt or a nickname from Britney. Thanks for sharing the story!
And… pfft. If Mr. Britt could only dislodge that ginormous stick from between his buttcheeks he would realize that there could be advantages to someone thinking he is related to you.
I don’t care what anyone else thinks or says… I like “Britt”… It suits you… Fuck them all… Yeah, I am in that kinda mood. Send them over to me if a.n.y.o.n.e. is having a problem with your name (or sending any other hate mail)… I’ll floor them with ultra bitching…
Wow…your mom is even cooler than I thought she was.
Britt Ekland was just on TV here last week being interviewed about something or other. She always ends up talking about Peter Sellars though, like that was her entire life! She is blonde, and cute and funny….just like someone else we know!
“Oh, and cute shoes!”
That made it a CLASSIC. Nice.
Whoa. What’s that crazy icon next to my comment? Zoinks.
I have found that when a person comes along claiming that they speak on behalf of a larger group of people, they actually have less support than they realize. Money says that a large number of his Britts think he’s a douche.
And how can he not reply to the cute shoe message? I’m not a shoe person but even I would find that funny regardless of my “high moral character”!
Let me get this straight… I Mike who spells his name with a Y has a problem with your first name.
Yeah OK that’s pretty fucked right there.
I’m shaking my head because I just can’t believe that someone would actually contact you about your name. The next thing you know someone will tell you it’s not ok to have blonde hair because you are shaming blondes every where or something completely retarded like that.
God, help the redheads because I must be misrepresenting them everyday.
avitable: I can see the confusion.
Creed: your name is awesome. And you came before that band - your name means Belief, dumb ass.
Dave2: it does give me something to do with my time.
Jay: she was pretty cute. She doesn’t look half bad now, really.
Sheila: and now you know the REST of the story.
AmyD: Creed is my favorite name in the world. No feeling sorry for him! LOL
DutchBitch: wow… you ARE in a bad mood…
Mr. Fab: heh.
Penelope: she is super blonde though. I’m wondering if I can pull super blonde off anymore.
Rich: that’s bizarre, since you didn’t put an email address in the field but a janky URL.
kapgar: I thought so too. I find lines like that are rarely responded to though.
RW: well, apparently he was afraid we could be related. THE HORRORS!!!
Lisa: oh, wait, let me dig, I think I might have that email here somewhere…
I went to high school with a girl who’s legal, birth name was Debbie. She always took a lot of crap from “authority” figures who knew better than she did what name her parents gave her.
She has since moved to Dallas, which has no bearing on this story or even this comment, but I find it HIGHLY amusing.
Huh, I’m not sure I would have noticed that first message as anything other than spam and just deleted it…
Awwww, you have a new friend. Don’t forget about us, k?
Are you sure you didn’t mean the drugs of humanity? Because that would have been pretty cool.
We too stand for the values of cute shoes in my family, but upon that, we add joie de vivre for natty coats, slinky dresses and snazzy handbags. I love having my priorities in order.
Oh and by the way, being named after a bond girl = not so bad in my book. I was named after… well I think it was a night of too much Angel Dust and bong hits to be honest.
I love how is all angry in the second e-mail, like Capital Letter Angry, haha.
I don’t think I was actually named after anybody. Unless my dad just happened to have read the Stephen King novel when it came out… which is entirely likely, come to think of it.
Oh in so many many ways in my mind that is so appropriate, except aren’t you the one that makes all the gold?
It does explain your need for fine shoes!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Don’t forget the part that I was very insistent (I forget why now) that each of you have ONE syllable names. Oh yeah - it was because I had a multi-syllable name and never was called by it until I was over thirty, so I wanted you guys to have one name.
And for God’s sake, I didn’t name you “Rod”, did I?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
That is cool!! I, too, was one of many readers wondering if Britt was your last name or your first, and if first, what it was short for.
Just Britt is awesome. :)
I named my two boys after characters on Big Valley. Is that lame?
It drives me crazy when people make stupid spellings to common names. My sister did it with one of her kids. It also sucks when a parents sense of humor leads to a life of humiliation for the kid. These are true names of people I went to school with….
Jim Locker
Tom Sawyer
Tom A Hawk
Robin Hood
I’ve also met Justin Credible, but my absolute favorite was a friend of my Dad’s whose name was Harry Heine (pronounced Hiney).
This from a man who spells “Mike” with a Y. Need I say more?
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter: Please tell me you named one Heath. My college boyfriend was named Heath — after the character on Big Valley! I love that name.
I was this >!< close to being named after a character in a soap opera. Fortunately, my dad is a man of action, and took charge of the situation.
I like Britt. (I thought it was Brittany too though)
And your mom’s gravatar looks like a Va-Jay-Jay.
I’m just sayin’.
Doug - I met a kid the other day named Justin Zane ???(I don’t nkow his last name) His dad pointed out that if you say his name quickly, it sounds like “Just insane.”
FyreGoddess: Debbie’s in Dallas. Heh. I get it.
Poppy: it took me a second, but I knew it came from my contact form. Then I thought maybe it was a JOKE, so I joked back.
Kimberly: what’s your name again?
ADW: your priorities seem spot on!
steen: I KNOW, RIGHT?!?! SOOO MAD!! he he he he
debkitty: I am a failed gold digger. We both have to make gold, dammit!
Britt’s Mom: no, thank you for not naming me Rod. Jeez.
wafelenbak: really? That’s so funny, it never occurred to me people would think it was my last name.
I’m so dense.
CMG: um, yes.
I named my daughter after the baby on “Friends”. So I’m lame too.
Doug: everyone always says I spelled my son’s name wrong. But I spelled it like it sounds! “devin” - like “kevin”
Finn: I think his real name is like Merlyn or something. Myke is a nickname.
Allyson: I wanted to name my daughter after a soap character too!!!! Hubby said no. Bastard.
sam:
I’m pretty sure that’s a mother and child image.
Oh my–well at least there’s a url to check out
I think your name is cool and I always figured it was your actual name.
it could have been worse for your brother though–I have a nephew named Talon.
I think it is neat you were named after someone. Someone so important. And someone who obviously appreciates the value of LOTS OF SHOES!!!!
I got my name because my grandma (rip) was on her death bed (she lived until I was 3) and always wanted a daughter with my name. My mom hates it and my dad (since it was his mother) tolerates it.
Funny, my name means absolutely nothing. It isn’t even a real name just made up.
that dude needs to get a life! sheesh. back off, fucker. (oops. was that judgmental? or rude? wait, i don’t care if it was. how can someone give you crap about your name??!?!? not like you had a say in it. besides, it is a cool name.)
britt, your mom cracks me up. just love her. hey, can i call you rod from now on?
p.s. enjoy your day. up here?
I always thought your name was Britt Andyourlastname, which I do not know so I like to tell my friends that your name is Britt Andyourlastname so that when I am going on and on about you, they are sure to know which one that I am talking about.
Awesome, huh?
Merlyn? That’s even better…
Does Rod Stewart set off anyone elses’ gaydar?
Or is it just pervy old man-dar?
Britt…fuck ‘em. Your name suits you.
Oh yeah, and there aren’t NEARLY enough posts about shoes here…can we do something about that, hmm???
Signed,
The Shoe Whore
I just paid the man’s site a visit. He’s a writer who has published several books out of some Christian publishing house in Tennessee or something. He’s not a very good writer. A passage from one of his things goes…
“It happened so quickly that Traylor was stunned as Jackie Bob deftly removed the young officer’s gun, and without a word placed it to his temple and squeezed the trigger! Butts died without making a sound.”
Too many words for something that happens so fast, and we’re not sure whose temple he’s blowing exactly. When he “placed it to his temple” was he committing suicide? Killing Traylor? What? Oh wait - its Butts who, after everyone’s eardrums have just been blown out by the firing of a policeman’s gun in close quarters, is real quiet.
Try this…
JB grabbed Traylor’s gun, put the mouth of the barrel between Butts’ eyes and blew his brains out the back of his head. With the room still echoing from the blast, he slipped the gun back into Traylor’s holster as the body slumped to the floor, and calmly walked away.
Redneck knucklehead…
I wanted to name my (future) daughter Emily Elizabeth. And then I was reading “Clifford the Big Red Dog” to my son, and I realized that was the name of the little girl in the book. Which is funny that I forgot that, since it was my book from when I was a kid.
turnbaby: OH believe me, there is NOTHING of interest there!
themuttprincess: your PARENTS don’t like your name? That’s whack.
Yo.
maninthekitchen: your real name? or your blog name?
hellohahanarf: you are so funny. Really. This was not one that offended me. THIS just made me laugh.
Shelli: you don’t have my last name? Aren’t you on Facebook?
I thought pretty much everyone had my last name. I just don’t put it here for Googling. Which is dumb. Since it’s ridiculously easy to find me anyway - but still.
Finn: isn’t it?
Stephanie: OMG my mom will hunt you down.
The first song I knew the words to was Rod’s “if you think I’m sexy”. LOL
And, is that a formal request for shoe posts? Because I could totally do shoe posts.
RW: I think you should volunteer to coach him.
Allyson: I have a long list of names that never got used. Kennedy. Brady. Loved Bianca, but my sister-in-law’s dog is named Bianca, so that was out. Darby.
Damn husband’s and their input!
oh, i forgot that i think folks can name their kids after anyone they want. if i ever had kids, which i won’t, but still, the boys would have been max and sam. just so happens that max and sam were my dogs when i was growing up. and i think folks should be happy that i wouldn’t name a kid sparky or duke and they were my favorite dogs growing up.
hey, if someone can name a kid apple, i can name a kid after a beloved dog, right?
I went there too RW and yup.
I have a neice named Camarian–yeah THAT”S supposed to be pronounced ‘Cameron’. Why do they let my sisters near any drugs when they have to do this naming thing???
I went to high school (I know –in the horse and buggy days–stfu ;-)) with
Forrest and Kelly Green
and
Kelly Snow White
I have client who named her daughter “Taiylor”
and
used to have neighbors who named their children Zachary and Taylor (boy and girl born in that order and always introduced in that order) and did NOT know why that was funny.
The worst name I have ever seen is a totally made up one
this IS this kid’s legal name–first two anyway—
Anwanishea Perkishita
yeah
It was just yesterday when I found myself wondering. . .hmm. . where did her name, Miss Britt, come from? And now I know. Amazing, like “the secret”.
I happen to think it’s a pretty cool name.
I am, but we must not have friended each other yet. I will fix that now. :)
Britt is a lovely name. And the origin of it is even better!
I do believe that I am mistaken and that, somehow, I did know your last name. Still, I have sent you a friend request on FB.
Yes it is. The only positive thing is that if I wanted to actually change it neither one cares. (because I have threatened to for years, but haven’t acutally followed through with it.)
Word up.
Yeah, I get the whole name-woe thing.
My name is Josette.
I get called Janette, Suzette, Suzanne, and my own grandmother called me Jo-Jackie for three years.
I like Britt.
I always imagine you speaking with a way-posh accent, lol.
You can do a shoe post if you like, but what I think we REALLY need is a video post of you singing “If you think I’m sexy!”
Sounds like Mr. Britt (the other Mr. Britt, not the Mr. Miss Britt, of course) has a stick up his ass.
you’re hotter than Britt Ecklund ever was. and i got a weird email last night, too. i think i shall have to post about it.
OMG! I thought RW was totally kidding!!!
“Traylor” as in “trash”? Ha-ha!
“Myrlen”?
“Jackie Bob”?
Um…need I say more? I can’t - Laughing too hard!
Ba-ha-ha-ha!
Things that make ya go, “Que?”
Cool story on your name. I wasn’t named after Anybody.
I still wonder if Mr Britt is against cute shoes, because seriously? I will have to cut him.
Named after a gold digger? You think you’ve got problems. I was going to be called Samantha until my Mum read a certain book by Daphne Du Maurier. Yep. I was named after the crazy dead ex-wife in Rebecca.
Sigh, I will never see Manderlay again…
hellohahanarf: the Power of the Parent, my love.
turnbaby: I work with foreign professionals - largely from India and the middle east. That name is nothing compared to what I have to pronounce daily.
Em: I can’t tell if you’re kidding.
Shelli: we are friends! YAY!
Kyra/the108: it’s interesting anyway.
themuttprincess: your name doesn’t need changing anyway.
jozet at Halushki: now I am dying to know what way-posh sounds like. I bet it is not at ALL what I sound like for real.
Allyson: oh. Good Lord. No. My singing should not ever, ever be recorded.
Crazy Lady in Vegas: yeah, it happens.
Crys: do you ever get “I’m so disappointed in you” emails?
annie: OMG I read that Taylor and it wasn’t until you said “trash” that I read it right.
Laura: if I could say “exactly” in spanish, I would say it here.
Nobody™:
flutter: I know… his silence on the issue is disturbing.
Bec: ok that’s just mean. At least Britt E had aspirations!
Someone has way too much time on his hands.
Not to mention a stick up his ass the size of a California redwood.
Yes sugar–but those are likely–granted we don’t always know—traditional names
this child –a kid born and living in Kentucky has that moniker—it’s made up from her father’s name and some other thing thrown on—it’s an abomination to stick a kid with that
I like RW’s idea. We should have a Miss Britt Writing contest on that one compound sentence. The winning line gets printed on a T-shirt! What should be on the other side of the shirt? “Free Abortions Now”?
Oh and I feel real sorry for all the shit you had to take for your first name. It must have been tough.
- Cris (Yes Cris… no H… not Christopher… Yes I am a dude… no I am not gay… no I did not say “yet”)
p.s. I was named for an Uncle who has a completely different name.
Thanks for the explanation. I always through that Britt stood for… peanut brittle or some other yummy confection. Shoes work, though. Not to eat! Sheez.
I can’t believe someone would go to the trouble to be that rude! What is wrong with people?
J.
Marissa: I know - I should have asked him to do my laundry, since he has the time.
turnbaby: oh man, that is rough! LOL
Y2k Survivor: I am trying to work out the details of a t-shirt contest!
On a Limb with Claudia: LOL
HoosierGirl: they are very, very bored.
My cousin is married to a Swedish girl called Britt. She is gorgeous just like you. I can’t believe you were sent an email about your name. Sheesh.
Kidding about the secret! Not about your name. It is cool.
On the subject of best/worst baby names, I stick by my assertion that this one takes the cake:
Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K
Emily’s last blog post..How to Become An Overnight Rock Star
Selma:
Em: I’m glad I’m not the only one who wanders about weird things!
Emily: there really should be laws about this stuff.
My real name, it is a strange one.
maninthekitchen’s last blog post..OK what do you want?