Ahhh, bliss.

This was definitely, without a doubt, my best birthday in recent memory. Just thinking about trying to write about it here makes me teary-eyed.

The celebration really started on Wednesday when I was absolutely brought to my knees by the kindness of my friends. Two of my best friends in the whole wide world got together and got me the one thing I could tell you without a doubt that I not only wanted, but needed.

I screamed. I squeed. I was absolutely fucking humbled. My old camera is such shit, but I’ve been entirely too cheap to buy a real camera for myself. But this one? *sigh* This one makes fuzzy backgrounds!

The idea that two people in this world thought so much of me that they spent this kind of money for a gift like this… I’m overwhelmed. And honestly, you really shouldn’t have. You really didn’t have to. But I thank you, Amy and Adam, so very, very much.

I drove home Wednesday night after with my new favoritest toy in the whole wide world genuinely excited about my birthday. I didn’t even care that my husband told me he was going to be late because he had “a few things to do quick”. I was so giddy as I snapped roughly 27 pictures of an empty Diet Coke can.

I barely noticed when my husband came home and disappeared into the bedroom, dragging the two kids behind him. I think at that point I had moved on to macro pictures photographs of the M in Marlboro, or something equally artistically profound. I was busy figuring out which setting would best enhance the pink in my lighter when he finally emerged with what seemed to be a wad of leftover Christmas wrapping in his hand.

He nudged the kids forward and Emma held out the wad so that I could see that it was in fact a package, lovingly wrapped with paper and a few carefully placed pieces of tape – obviously the handiwork of a two year old.

“It’s not my birthday yet,” I assured him, “I can wait until tomorrow if you want.”

“It’s OK baby, go ahead. I want you to have it now.”

I made myself comfortable on the couch and mentally began practicing my surprised and Oh My Gosh I Love It I Needed Another Necklace face. My husband thrives on the philosophy that it is, truly, the thought that counts. And thought is judged on a “there was one” or “there wasn’t” basis only, quality need not be considered.

As I began gingerly pulling apart the scotch tape, my husband took up his guard with the new camera. I gave him a cursory “you breaka mah toy, I breaka yo face” glance and continued the unwrapping.

And then, I lost my shit. Seriously, my shit.

Let me take a minute here to explain that my husband is not really known for his gift giving skills. Nor is he known for being particularly exorbitant with money. He makes my frugality look like an inheritance fueled shopping spree. Which, meh, whatever – he does laundry, so I don’t get too wrapped up in the crappy gift giving skills.

But I tell you all that to explain why I was completely and utterly floored by my birthday present.

What’s that? You can’t tell what it is? Just because it’s a new camera doesn’t mean my husband isn’t still capable of taking shitastic pictures you say?

Here, how about this…

(P.S. Please notice fuzzy background, thank you.)

I was shocked. Completely. That (Mom) is a motherfucking iPHONE!!!!

I wanted one of these sooo bad, but in the way that I want to be six feet tall – never. gonna. happen. No way in hell I would have ever spent this kind of money on a cell phone. Ever. All of my cell phones have been of the Free With A New Contract variety.

And I know it’s just a thing. But it is quite possibly the coolest fucking thing I have ever, ever owned. To say I am in love with this thing would be an understatement, and probably grounds for Confession – but whatever.

ANYway, I’m sure there are more In Yo Face Bitches! Check Out My Kick Ass iPhone! posts in the future – but let me finish up with the birthday awesomeness.

On the actual day of my birthday I worked. Because my boss is a big hairy dick. (Camera wha? What have you done for me lately, princess?)

But during the day I was flooded with phone calls and text messages and Facebook messages and emails and posts. And each and every birthday wish was cherished. (As were the postal gifts that I will be writing about later – I promise!) There are few things as endearing as a sincere “Happy Birthday”, I think.

Then, after work, I got a “surprise” party. It was supposed to be a surprise, except that neither my boss nor my husband understand the concept of pulling off a surprise. But whatever – it was fabulous.

We had a baby sitter. Yeah. I know. How awesome is that?

One of my friends that I met through the Mom’s group actually donated her sitter’s number to the Birthday cause so that I could have a dinner out. And would you believe that after only five months of living here there were actually people at that dinner? Like, besides my husband??

AND, I got more presents! From people I’m not related to! Who have only known me for a few short months! How fucking sweet is that? I’ll tell you: very.

The dinner was a blast, and the entire birthday was a raging success. You can tell, because it ended like this:

Happy Birthday to me, indeed.

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