To begin, you must first find a willing subject.
Now that you’re properly protected, it’s time to make The Stuff. Ignore the directions, as directions are clearly for pussies. And obviously you “know what the fuck I’m doing! JEEZ! Do you know how many times I’ve done this?”
Basically, throw everything but the conditioner and/or shampoo sample into the tub. Mix. Mix. Mix. When it looks like bad mayo, stop mixing.
Turn your attention back to your husband the subject the slightly effeminate man.
Once you’ve managed to convince your husband to put on a bonnet and let you take pictures properly secure the cap, it’s time to get to work.
Next, you’ll slather on The Stuff onto all the little hairs poking through the bonnet the cap..
You’ll also remember to take a picture of this crucial step so as not to ruin the entire fucking point, thereby invalidating all of your explanations that “baby, this is blogging GOLD!”
Check your watch and make note of the current time. Or the pretty close time. Timeish, if you will. Within like 5 or 10 minutes or so of the actual time should be good. It’s just boy hair.
Sit around and wait.
After 20 30 45ish minutes, remember to tell the subject that you need to wash that shit out, your hair is starting to fall out it’s probably been long enough.
Rinse.
Don’t say I never taught you nuthin’.
*Alternate title: The Things We Do For Love
Popularity: 3% [?]
Posted in Love and Marriage, Photo Essays
Jeez – with all of the foreshadowing, I expected his hair to come out white or something.
But, definitely blogging gold.
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:clap: The photo essay is pure gold
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I’ve been begging to let my husband do his hair!!
But tell yours it could be worse, I once blogged about manscaping Mr. Honeybell with hot wax. Thankfully however, no pictures.
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Will you highlight my hair too? My hair looks exactly like your husbands, but I’m a brunette with my hair reaching the middle of my back.
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Métrosexual? That’s when you are attracted to French underground transportation systems right?
I always thought you had a touch of the Porte des Lilas
Gambetta about you. Now I know what attracted him to you.
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I admire your blog’s name. It’s fetching, as is the gentleman featured on this post.
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This is why I pay for my hair to be done. Otherwise I’d end up on the Internet hawking Blue Bonnet butter.
I prefer Land of Lakes with Cannola oil.
BTW… Rogain works wonders… really…
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Next time I’m in town, you so totally have to highlight my hair too! Though I’m surprised you went with Loreal… since it’s just boy hair, you should have gone with “Tub-O-Highlights” brand!
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Does he READ your blog? Wow, you must have some crazy good voodoo, woman. My husband would not have let me get near him with a camera with a 10 foot pole!
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Well, considering that the first time I met him he was wearing a dress…I guess metrosexual is an improvement…
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avitable: his hair was too short, I couldn’t get enough through the cap. It’s hard to highlight a buzz cut.
Dee: YAY! He’ll be thrilled to hear it.
Honeybell: LOL *jotting down notes on Ideas For Future Posts… consider pictures….*
Sheila: sure! It’s easier to do long hair anyway – damn, I just threw away all the extra!!
Dan: is that French? Like Voila?
LBB: ummm…. k… thanks?
NYCWD: Rogaine eh? I’ll be sure to let him know you suggested it, thanks!
Dave2: I will absolutely!!!!!
And the L’Oreal was the cheapest in the aisle at the time. They were out of Tub O’ Highlights.
Kimberly: he reads it very sporadicly. I think at this point he’s just decided resistance is futile.
Mr. Fabulous: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA – good point.
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Wow… my man won’t let me near (what’s left of) his hair. (I can’t believe it’s called La Petite Frost.) Too funny.
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Now, wait. Left-over peroxide? You do want the collar and cuffs to match, right? Please tell me you re-used that cap and gave him matching pubes. :sex014:
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you had me at the bonnet.
love.
i need to try this on the husband.
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Brilliant!! :clap: :clap:
My husband would shoot me dead before letting me take photos and post them on the internet! LOL
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That were funny, but I can’t tell the difference. I promise not to tell…
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POOR Jared! I can’t believe he let you do this….ok, YES I can but still a whole blog!?
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yay, photo blogging! love you & photoshop!!
this was awesome. kiss hubby for us because not many men would have not only permitted photos, but actually snapped (a blurry, i mean artsy) one.
this was fun!
:clap:
:thumbsup:
:heartbeat:
(why am i on a smiles kick today??)
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My slightly effeminate metrosexual husband has me to “manscaping” on his eyebrow hairs so yeah….
This was a great photo essay; I especially loved the whole “cheap” stuff cause it’s a boy and his smoking in that masculine way!
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About 9 years ago, Son1 allowed a girlfriend to highlight his hair. They used the bonnet too. Except the little chunks of hair they pulled were actually big chunks and then they played video games and forgot about the dye. When they remembered, his hair came out looking like a cheetah. HOWEVER! It was kinda cool-looking and avant garde so he wore it like that until he shaved it for the army!
Next time, I’ll send him to you! :lmao:
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He is so purty!!
We need to work on his smoking technique though!
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Nat: if my husband had his way, I’d wash & style his hair for him every day, I’m sure.
CMG: oh God no – I think that stuff can BURN!!
ali: LOL
sam: we don’t have guns in the house, thank goodness.
Finn: I can’t either – except for one big blonde spot in the front.
Kristin: well, “let” is a term I’d use loosely.
hellohahanarf: yeah, he is pretty cooperative for the most part. And thanks for noticing that!
Hilly: he won’t let me touch his brows, unfortunately.
metalmom: I can do red too!
NotaGranny: is he not doing it right? LOL
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Very cute.
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:lmfao:
fabulous photo essay; thanks for the laughs
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That is pure blogging gold! GOLD, baby.
My husband has long hair and I comb it, but that’s as far as it goes. Sometimes instead of braiding it, I do that twisted coil thing, he gets SO pissed!
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I was expecting disaster but it looks really great actually. :secret:
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I cannot believe Jared let you do this. I just… can’t. I can’t. Take pictures OR highlight his hair.
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:lmfao: Awwwww, he’s so cute!
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Oh, my God, hilar. I am so finding a way to bleach my husbands bald coconut.
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:eyebrow:
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Now that’s a good sport.
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:lmfao:
I used to do my baby brother’s hair. And I made fun of him the ENTIRE time. Now, thanks to you, I need to remember to take pictures!!
:thumbsup:
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Great post! I really enjoyed your commentary. And I think a lot more men are into this than we think or are willing to admit. I had two ex’s who wanted me to highlight their hair on a regular basis. I don’t know why they wouldn’t admit it… I mean, did their friends think it was natural? Unfortunately, I didn’t think to document the process with photographic evidence (and possibly use it against them later).
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i see absolutely no change, but i thank you sincerely for the hars
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BOSSY: oh no – “cute” is the only four letter word in our house.
pgoodness: any time! thanks for stopping by.
annie: Jared used to have longer hair and he loved to have it played with.
Peggy: yeah, I think it didn’t show up well – but better too little than too much.
Poppy: he is “good sport” personified.
AmyD: he he he, don’t show Mike – he’ll never believe Jared’s a beer guy again!
DeannaBanana: eyebrows! he has eyebrows you could do!
RW: oh like Mrs.RW has never helped you color your hair.
Kelly: yes indeed – a very resigned good sport.
themuttprincess: glad I could help!
sourpuss: yeah guys have that “look good but i don’t look like i tried” act DOWN.
Crys: which makes it worth it anyway.
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so, how are you with red? coz i am about tired of all this gray and all…i’m in need of a good color job!
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I’ve colored my own long, thick ass hair for years. I’ve done red on NUMEROUS occassions – for myself and friends.
I’m like Claire Motherfucking Ahl here bitches.
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I refer to those things as my “prayer cap”.
Also, I have added “willing to allow me to make him man-pretty as blog fodder” to the list of qualities I want my future husband to possess. :lmfao:
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I expected it to be so much worse. I came home to my husband one time – when he and tried to do his own. Apparently brown/nearly black hair turns pumpkins ass orange when stupid men try to bleach all by themsleves. Of course, it has given me nearly 10 years of crap to heap on him, for trying to do it himself, so its not all that bad.
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I’m dying mine at the weekend – slap it on, cling film and prayer is the technique I use. And, yes, this is pure blogging gold!
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Remember that time I said I was sorta wanting to do your husband? Yeah, uhm.. not so much. LOL
Though the highlights are GREAT. Good job.
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that’s gay
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I would never be allowed to do that to my hubby but I want to sooo bad. I haven’t laughed so much in ages. Tell your husband it was well worth the effort – very fetching!
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A.B.: it’s definitely a good one. Especially if they can’t have “makes enough money for you to be Orange County Housewife”.
Crazy Lady in Vegas: worse? I’m a pro!
Bec: that’s pretty much how I do my own too.
Lin: whew! That’s a relief.
Nobody™: no, that’s metro.
Selma: I told him it was a hit. He rolled his eyes at me.
I’m used to that.
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Awesome. Just awesome.
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Mentioned this to you in email, but he looks all cute and shit.
True story: my ex-uncle back in the 70’s used to get his hair permed. Highlights I can deal with. But the thought of a guy in those curlers and solution just, well I just can’t deal with it.
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Rich:
Absurdist: I used to perm my dad’s hair. My big, touch, construction working mafia looking dad – in rollers. Tee hee hee.
Of course there’s no way I would have ever gotten pictures of that.
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I can see why you’re in the “Perfect Post” running with this entry. I love it! Dang it, just what I needed: another time-consuming blog to add to my bloglines.
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One: I. Could. Die.
Two: I peed my pants a little.
Three: My very first thought was, “Oh, gawd, there’s going to be SO MUCH left over dye. That’s a shame.”
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Now that’s effeminate.
Believe me I’d know.
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Too funny! I particularly love the step where one takes time out to smoke.
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