It’s no secret around the Internet that two of my best friends in the entire world are bloggers. If you’ve been reading here for any length of time, you already know that I absolutely adore Adam and Amy.
(If you’re new here - HI! Everyone, say “Hi” to the newcomers. “Hi Newcomers!”)
Here’s something that you might not know…
These two saved my life last year.
And my marriage.
I went back and forth on whether to talk about them together or separately (or whether to snub Avitable completely, because that kind of thing gets him so worked up and makes me laugh and laugh and laugh), but ultimately I realized that there was no way I could say what one meant to me without explaining how invaluable the other was.
About a year ago, my life started to fall apart. Most specifically, my marriage was crumbling. A combination of old hang ups and new issues I could have never anticipated came together to cause The Perfect Storm - and there was a time when I was absolutely certain we wouldn’t survive.
One week before my 7 year anniversary, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. And I meant it. The months that followed that were horrendous, for both of us.
The first person to notice was Amy. I didn’t even have to say the words for her to pick up on the signs that something wasn’t right. She would swing from righteous indignation on my behalf, to subtle warnings that something would have to be done to prevent permanent damage. And when I began to self destruct, she was the first person I ran to with my confessions.
She sat with me when I was alone. She listened to me when I was too ashamed to be heard by anyone else. She plotted Jared’s demise when he made me cry. And she welcomed him back into the fold when he proved to be more than either of us had expected. She taught me what it means to support without judgment; to trust in another person enough to believe that ultimately they would do the right thing - without any condemnation or “guidance”.
She gave me the strength to fight for my marriage.
And then, there was Adam. Adam willingly shared his own horrors in an effort to comfort me about mine. He reminded me over and over again that regardless of my reactions, my intentions were ultimately usually coming from a good place. And he offered me something that I needed so badly and yet had experienced so rarely - a protective instinct.
He is one of the few people in the world who have been able to see past a strong personality and an ability to “take care of myself” and see a vulnerability that wanted to be taken care of. His need to make everything OK gave me a safe place to let it all go when I simply couldn’t hold it together anymore.
And I don’t care how inappropriate that sounds, it saved me.
I have been really, really blessed with some amazing people in my life, and these two are some of the best. They’re encouragement, they’re support, they’re understanding - I can’t imagine getting through each day without it.
And on one day in particular, I’d like to thank them both. Both of their birthdays are Saturday (what are the odds?), and I would love it if you all would run over and wish each of them a very Happy Birthday.
Believe me, they’ve earned it.
P.S. Don’t forget to listen to me on BlogTalkRadio on Sunday for The Big One Year Anniversary Show!
RSS Subscribe
There are no words that fully express my gratitude and my feelings for you, Britt. Honest. I’m in tears… just, thank you. Thank you for being there, thank you for being you, and just thank you.
January 25th, 2008 at 12:22 am
I hope everyone can be so lucky as to have not just one but two such great friends. Wow that seemed more grammatically complicated than it needed to be…
And their birthday’s are on Australia Day so I feel that I therefore have a much greater connection with them and therefore some of that greatness may rub off on me :unsure: :twitchy:
January 25th, 2008 at 12:39 am
You’re a capricorn… they’re both aquarian’s… what you’ve stated can be backed up by those who believe in that stuff… not to sound all hippy psycho or anything…
January 25th, 2008 at 1:10 am
What a beautiful post and a lovely tribute.
January 25th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Awwww.
Best birthday post ever.
January 25th, 2008 at 7:12 am
You are blessed to have friends like that and they are blessed that you know it ;)
January 25th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Yeah very sweet. Grumble…
January 25th, 2008 at 8:24 am
That is so very sweet! I am glad you had them as your suppport when you needed it!
January 25th, 2008 at 9:04 am
I’m really glad you worked through this and that you have such supportive friends to help you through tough times.
And I’m really glad you didn’t listen to my advice because my advice was a little teeny tiny bit jaded. :whistle:
January 25th, 2008 at 9:09 am
So, what you’re saying is that underneath that rough exterior, and all that hair, Avi’s really a NICE GUY? I’m not sure this is news the internet can handle. :whistle:
As for Amy, I’ve always thought anyone would be lucky to have her as a friend. :wave:
Happy Birthday to both!
January 25th, 2008 at 9:12 am
How lucky you are!
Happy Birthday guys.
January 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
This is very sweet…but I have to confess, I have that damn Elton John song “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” stuck in my head now. :twitchy:
January 25th, 2008 at 9:18 am
I started reading your blogs when I was going through a really rough time in my life. I picked my two kids up and left my husband of 10 years. It was a very hard thing for me to do because I loved him since I was 5 (I still have a disney towel and washcloth set he gave me for my 6th bday). Unfortunately when we were reunited he wasn’t the same 5 year old that I fell in love with. 10 years later, 3 different women he slept with, and a huge alcohol problem, I left. I read your blog, Avi’s blog and Amy’s blog every single day (and still do) and you guys got me through…even though you don’t know me and I don’t know you and I never really commented..I felt like you three were my very best friends. SO….I would like to say thank you all for sharing your lives with me and helping me through mine.
January 25th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Such a pretty post. I would have more love for you if I weren’t, right this minute, staring out of my home office window at a crankload of snow.
January 25th, 2008 at 9:37 am
It’s always good to have people like that in your life
January 25th, 2008 at 9:41 am
AmyD: And ditto to you babe. I wish I could spend your birthday with you.
Dee: if you get to close, it’s likely you’ll catch what they’ve got. They’re contagious like that.
Tori: really?? Please send links!!
Mr. Fab: yeah, I’m awesome.
avitable: did you cry? It would really make my day if you told me it made you cry.
Peggy: I really, really am.
RW: you’re so cute when you’re trying to be tough.
debkitty: me too!
Poppy: we all offer support through our own perspectives. That’s just human nature.
And every relationship, including it’s problems and solutions, is different. I’m glad YOU found what worked for YOURS.
Allyson: well, he’s not nice to everyone - if that helps.
Finn: indeed, indeed!
wafelenbak: I have to confess… I don’t know that song.
Just Me: wow, I’m glad you were able to find the strength you needed to do what you needed to do. And if in some small way we helped with that, I’m glad for you.
ADW: but it’s your HOME office. I’m stuck here at Avitable’s.
Sarcastica: it should be a rule or something that everyone gets people like that, don’t you think?
January 25th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I sniffed. Once or twice.
January 25th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I think that what you wrote is better than any damn present you could have bought. Because it came from the heart.
January 25th, 2008 at 10:11 am
That was a really wonderful post. Very nice.
January 25th, 2008 at 10:39 am
I really like reading the posts where someone talks GOOD about their friends for a change!!
You are a good friend to them too! :thumbsup:
January 25th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Ah baby what a lucky lucky woman you are.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
They are both pretty terrific people. I see it in different posts they make on different blogs.
Even though Avitable tries to act all tough and gorilla-ey.
January 25th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Wonderful post, Britt, as usual. I think it’s great that your friends helped you in such a wonderful way during your darkest hours. Those are the friends you know to hang on tight to.
January 25th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
it’s awesome to have friends like that- and both with the same birthday! what great odds. :)
January 25th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
That was very beautiful. You’re so lucky to have such awesome friends, and I say that from the experience of not having awesome friends. When I went through my divorce, they all chose his side. He’s the soft one, and I’m the mouthy tough one. I guess I was too much to handle. It’s okay now though - my ex and I are sort of friends, and I’ve found a new batch that I just love.
January 25th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
that was really sweet Britt. it touched my heart part.
January 25th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
It’s wonderful that you’ve got people like that. :)
January 25th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Isn’t it cool to know that you can trust that friends are friends and not worry about ‘how’ you met or communicate with them?
Awesome post Britt.
Just another example of why I
you!
January 26th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Hey, I think that’s awesome that you have two friends that you can be frank with and will be there for you.
I have two friends like that. One, I almost lost, but I was able to suck it up and apologize.
It’s amazing how we all hold in what we are “ashamed” of talking about; like my finances. I came to terms with them over the last two days, and found solutions with my parents (crossing fingers on mom since she is no longer psycho) so that I can start focusing on doing what I really need to do.
Anyway, I am so glad you were able to make it through those rough times. I wish I had the fortitude to do that during both of my marriages.
Happy birthday to all.
Michelle
January 26th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
There is nothing like a friend who loves you for you, even better if there are two of them. They sound like truly wonderful people. Happy Birthday, Adam and Amy.
January 27th, 2008 at 8:28 am
I totally understand. I think Fab is to me what Adam is to you. He totally saved me and helped me save my marriage.
January 27th, 2008 at 6:20 pm