Where the fate of your dessert is a metaphor for your entire life.

by Miss Britt on November 19, 2007

Sunday was The Day. The Day I was headed out for my first meetup.

I’ll admit, I was nervous. And although I had received a few emails and comments from a couple of women involving the words “beer and wine” and “bitches that rock” and “fuck shit damn hell” – I kind of half suspected they were maybe pretending to be normal. And that even if they were in fact “normal” – they were only a small part of a larger group that I was already imagining to be a collection of Stepford Pod people. Or something.

(Which is strange, because I’ve never actually met a collection of Stepford Pod People – and yet I always assume that’s what women will be like when I meet them. It must be like my Boogie Man. Or something.)

I volunteered to bring Apple Crisp, thinking “how hard can it be? It’s apple and crisp.” I figured bringing a dessert was a sure fire way to ingratiate myself with a bunch of women at a “women’s gathering”.

Heh.

I should have known better after all the “how do you fuck up Guacamole???” comments (smug bastards, all of you!).

Apples. And crisp. We have… apples. And, um, something more resembling bread pudding than crisp. So, I went to the Mom’s Meetup Potluck armed with this:

Apple Crap

Fear of Failure, I’d like you to meet All Your Insecurities About Womanhood. Also joining us tonight will be your Desperate Loneliness and your Pathetic Need To Be Liked. Oh, and an unexpected arrival, Holy Fuck Your Husband Just Learned On The Way Over That He Lost His Debit Card. Sit. Mingle. Bond over a warm plate of Apple Craptastic.

Thank God there was also Ham.

And wine. And beer. And a smoking party outside. And a house full of the most open, inviting, articulate, funny, warm people you could ever expect to meet in one place.

The entire atmosphere of the evening was that of a family get together, with 50 million kids running around and easy laughter and that sense of comfort and peace that only comes from being around people who knew you when you had baby fat.

Except that non of these people had known each other for more than a month or so. And yet you’d never known it by the way they cooed over one another’s babies and spoke to one another’s husbands with ease and joked with one another about everything from pregnancy and missed naps to traffic and an embarrassing inability to hold their liquor. And easily welcomed the New People as if they’d been waiting all along for us to show up.
It. was. fabulous.

I was utterly amazed at how normal they all were. The husbands, the wives, the kids. They were all so much like me and the people I had grown up with back home. And yet, I never found myself stopping to think “wow, these people are normal” while we were there, because it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

In fact, they were all so not intimidating and scary and Stepford pod people-esque, that I’m kind of starting to wonder if maybe I’ve got a complete unrealistic idea of what “most women” are like.

Maybe I’m not so different from normal women. Maybe people aren’t so scary and strange and stereotypical in one form or another.

Maybe, just maybe, we’re going to be just fine here. And we’ll meet people and have friends and build a new life for ourselves that, while not exactly the same as it was 1400 miles away in a town my husband and I literally grew up in, will end up fitting us quite well after all.

And maybe next time, I’ll bring a dish I’ve actually successfully made at least once beforehand.

Although, even the Apple Craptastic didn’t do so bad.

Tasted, if not eaten, even after fair warning

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33 Comments so far

  1. avitable November 19, 2007 11:30 am

    Maybe your mother made you watch the Stepford Wives over and over again when you were a wee baby, and it’s been ingrained in your brain as reality.

    And yay for you and friends and non-boring non-lawyer type people!

    Reply

  2. Kristin Fogle November 19, 2007 12:01 pm

    Hey babe,
    It’s great to hear that things went well and that you are meeting normal people. But I recommend stopping at the bakery next time!
    LOVE YOU!
    :D

    Reply

  3. AmyD November 19, 2007 12:17 pm

    Holy cow. You said Apple Crisp and I assumed that you had made it a bunch of times.

    Next time, call me, you can have my “no fail” Cherry Cobbler recipe that wows EVERYONE.

    And, I am SOO, SOOOO glad it worked out and you had a good time!!!

    Reply

  4. Mom November 19, 2007 12:37 pm

    Darling – stop and buy chips on the way and make up a story about the emergency room.

    Still – it must have TASTED OK.

    I am so tickled sweetheart. Gosh – you already know more people there than I do in this little town and I have lived here – um – 9 months. Then again – I have enough trouble socializing with all the voices in my head. :whistle:

    I’m very proud of all of you.

    Reply

  5. NotaGranny November 19, 2007 12:49 pm

    I am so glad you had fun and met nice people! By the way, the Apple Crisp looks great! It must have tasted good also!!

    Reply

  6. Nina November 19, 2007 12:49 pm

    So glad you had fun. I had a feeling you would.

    Reply

  7. t November 19, 2007 1:05 pm

    it does look really good. apple at any consistency is delicious. i’m sure it wasn’t charity, just good taste.

    Reply

  8. Heather November 19, 2007 1:08 pm

    I love “Mom’s” comment. Chips with an emergency room story. Classic! I’m all about just taking alcohol. You’ll have to post the Apple Craptastic recipe for all us readers. I would love to try it! :martini:

    Reply

  9. Victoria November 19, 2007 1:18 pm

    Glad you had fun!
    Looks, dee-licious! Kind of! hehe

    Reply

  10. Turnbaby November 19, 2007 1:47 pm

    See?

    :cheesy:

    And if you need them I have several simple but awesome recipes. I too have a foolproof cobbler recipe. It’s killer.

    But your mom is also right–and Ghirardelli chocolate is sold in grocery stores now ;-)

    Reply

  11. Blonde Chick November 19, 2007 2:19 pm

    Yay for you! I knew things would go OK.

    (Now I’m wishing Amy would share her Cherry Cobbler recipe!)

    Sounds you like you a great group of potential friends!

    Reply

  12. Ms. Understood November 19, 2007 2:22 pm

    You were so lucky to live in a town where there are actually groups of interest on the meet-up site. I checked it out for my area and the meet-ups that were already going were for ghost hunting, wiccan, and satan worship. There were some interests lists for women but all the women ones had a bunch of guys expressing interest. Same guys, didn’t matter what the women’s group was. Gotta love small towns! By the way, I’ve never seen a pretty apple crisp but they have almost always been delicious.

    Reply

  13. Miss Britt November 19, 2007 2:41 pm

    avitable: who won’t stalk me…

    Kristin: or making – uh – I have to remember what dessert I know how to make.

    AmyD: no way! “No fail” just means I’ll look like an even bigger idiot when I fuck it up!

    Mom: it’s hard to think of the town you live in now being different from the town you lived in before that is like 5 miles away.

    NotaGranny: it tasted… um… doughy. :D

    Nina: thank you, I did!

    t: the apple part WAS good, if you could get past the mush.

    Heather: I am in charge of drinks for Thanksgiving. LOL

    Victoria: “kind of” – that sums up my cooking perfectly.

    Turnbaby: maybe the key for me is NOT fool proof but super complicated! Fool proof I seem to be destined to fail at.

    Blonde Chick: I’m sure if you ask her real nice…

    Ms. Understood: yeah, I can’t imagine if you moved into a town like the one I left. Although there – you just go to church.

    Reply

  14. avitable November 19, 2007 2:46 pm

    I stalk because I love.

    Reply

  15. Bonnie B. November 19, 2007 2:50 pm

    What matters is that you threw yourself out there and discovered people that you didn’t know existed and you were pleasantly surprised. The best part is, in about 6 months you and all of those people will be laughing about your first attempt at Apple Crisp. Talk about bonding material! :wink:

    Reply

  16. DeannaBanana November 19, 2007 2:50 pm

    Uhhh…thanks for the invite, bitch. Turkey Day is cancelled.

    Reply

  17. AmyD November 19, 2007 3:06 pm

    :lmao: @ DeannaBanana – I didn’t think of that!

    Where was MY invite, Britt? At least a token invite! Damn! Rude!! :heartbeat:

    Reply

  18. Heather November 19, 2007 3:22 pm

    In charge of drinks for Thanksgiving?!?!? Let me give you my address…. We eat at noon! :wink:

    Reply

  19. BOSSY November 19, 2007 3:35 pm

    The longer Bossy lives the more she thinks: It’s all perspective. Of course Bossy’s perspective is from underneath the coffee table.

    Reply

  20. DeannaBanana November 19, 2007 3:39 pm

    Bahahaha…I just saw your comment about drinks for Thanksgiving! Which is hilarious. At first I thought I had better clarify that you only need to worry about adult bevy choices for you and Jared, and then if you wanna bring some mix, great. Yes to the soda choices for kiddies…but honestly, my asking you to take care of that had NOTHING at all to do with your culinary mastery, although I know I will never be able to convince anyone of that!

    :thumbsup:

    Reply

  21. Mr. Fabulous November 19, 2007 5:20 pm

    I knew it would go well. You have universal appeal. Like a Muppet.

    Reply

  22. The Absurdist November 19, 2007 6:25 pm

    I use meetup.com all the time. I am an avid attendee and assistant organizer of our sci-fi group.. Totally cool people…

    Reply

  23. Tug November 19, 2007 10:59 pm

    I found people in Vegas (moving there knowing no one besides a brother I didn’t get along with & his wife of ONE.MONTH who didn’t talk) MUCH more non-judgemental/gossipy than my ’small town’ home crowd. And JUST as friendly!

    Reply

  24. Miss Britt November 20, 2007 6:48 am

    avitable: that’s what the crazy people say!

    Bonnie B.: I am kind of tickled by the whole “throw myself out there”. I feel like, bait, or something.

    DeannaBanana: I’m going to have to drink a lot of cranberry juice…

    AmyD: I am not token inviting you to my stranger meeting party. You hate strangers.

    Heather: I win Thanksgiving!

    BOSSY: mine is from up on top this very tall horse.

    DeannaBanana: maybe I should come over early so you can teach me how to make apple crisp.

    Mr. Fabulous: sadly, you are not the first person to compare me to a Muppet.

    The Absurdist: why did you not share this information sooner? Huh? HUH?!?

    Tug: I wonder if people here are less “judgy”. Based on the two people I met FIRST… I’d say no.

    Reply

  25. avitable November 20, 2007 6:55 am

    Aw, honey, now why did you have to go and make me angry? You know I’m only doing this for your own good, right?

    Reply

  26. Crys November 20, 2007 6:58 am

    it’s cool you’re meeting people, B. how could the world not love you? you’ll be fine…

    Reply

  27. Joefish November 20, 2007 9:19 am

    Is it just me, or does anyone else think the red doodles on the bottom photo kind of look like Woody Woodpecker?

    Reply

  28. Miss Britt November 20, 2007 9:42 am

    avitable: you do realize if anything ever happens to me, this blog will become State’s Evidence.

    And it’s going to come down to you or that Mary Alice bitch.

    Crys: sadly, there is a large part of the world that cannot handle me. Pussies.

    Joefish: Woody Woodpecker was a classy dude.

    Reply

  29. Hilly November 20, 2007 12:02 pm

    Sorry I am so late to the party!

    I think it is wonderful that you went out and did that. Four years later in my “new” city and I’ve still to meet a bunch of friends that aren’t an hour away up in LA. I’m so happy that you had such a great time too :) .

    Reply

  30. Miss Britt November 20, 2007 12:08 pm

    Oh you would LOVE meetup.com. Seriously!

    Reply

  31. jflins November 21, 2007 8:30 pm

    Thanks for the meetup tip: I took it.
    I used to feel different and alone but then I started reading blogs… oh, yeah: if you ever feel really different, check out this website. It’s around 20 postcards each week of the “secrets” people carry. Amplified my empathy, gratitude, and realization that I might not be carrying around more stuff than the avg. person! http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

    Reply

  32. jflins November 22, 2007 8:55 am

    Thanks for the meetup tip: just found a group in our new sandbox.

    I used to feel different from others… and then this blogging thing happened and I get amazed that the distance between genders is not that far.

    A truth: just like a person you discover who lies, those whom act superior and/or devalue others 1) truly feel insecure themselves, and 2) have just given you a gift: the present of not having to waste anymore time with them because NOW you KNOW! Keep going, girl!

    Reply

  33. jflins November 22, 2007 9:00 am

    BTW: I also discovered my similarities and realized the pain many (most) carry at a blog called postsecret. People send in a postcard with 1 secret on it they’ve never told anyone. The site really opened my eyes to our common humanity; hope it blesses you and yours. Google it and it comes on top postsecret_blogspot_com

    Reply

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