God I hope I spelled that right.
Remember the other day when I casually made mention of a post including fat rolls? The thing is, I was serious.
Wait, wait, hear me out.
See, I have a post written – hanging out in the back room – entitled “I Am Not A Succubus”. And it’s basically about how it annoys the shit out of me when people assume that my very platonic friendships with men are anything less. Or rather, more. I’m not getting into that here (because there’s already an entire post that I may still publish some day) – but part of the point of that post was the fact that I am not. that. girl.
I’m not some hot little blonde oozing sex and hotness, leaving a trail of men falling all over themselves behind me. And for some reason it really bothers me when people make assumptions as if I were. I’m not saying you think that, but some people – well, some people can be really stupid.
Maybe I should be flattered and allow myself to be falsely inflated by other’s delusions. But that just leaves me feeling very gross and fake and more like a fraud than myself.
ANYway, as part of that post, I was going to show pictures of the Real Me – the Anti-Succubus-Could-Not-Seduce-Your-Husband-Or-Boyfriend-Even-If-I-Wanted-To (which I don’t) Me.
I made mention of this idea to another blogger.
I was highly discouraged NOT to get that real.
When I pressed for an explanation of WHY it would be such a big freaking deal, it was explained to me that there is a certain “mystique” that people are expected to maintain. Bloggers (or rather, female bloggers) have a certain reputation they need to live up to if they want to maintain their readership.
Ummmm… that was kind of the point. No “mystique”. No ridiculous misconceptions. Just – me.
Apparently, that is not done. Apparently people do not want to read about a person who really has flaws (unless they are an absolute Spear-sized train wreck). Apparently, what people want is to read about someone who “doesn’t think she’s perfect”, but, you know, kind of is.
Or so I’ve been told.
People, please. Tell me that is complete bullshit.
(All of a sudden this post sounds very egotistical. Shit. No turning back now.)
I cannot live up to some kind of “mystique”. I do not have the energy or neurotic makeup to maintain a false facade for any length of time. I cannot be the girl who is pretending to be perfect while she is simultaneously pretending to be the girl who doesn’t think she’s perfect. God, that makes my brain hurt just writing it.
I am not a caricature.
I’m a real woman. I have parts of me that I love (or, will, once they fix The Dye Job From Hell). I have parts of me that I’ve learned to live with. And I have parts of me that I absolutely loathe because they have been the source of merciless teasing throughout my life.
I’m smart, and funny. And I have a really annoying habit of telling you that – because i know that it’s true.
I have cute shoes and currently wear a size 6. And I have stretch marks and droopy boobs and can make my belly talk to you if I’m really bored.
The thing is, I can’t do this if it means being anything but ME. And as much as I really do want blog fame and fantasize about being offered a book deal or something really crazy like that – I will never be able to pull any of it off if it means being anything but who I am. Who I really and truly am – whatever that may be from one day to the next.
Am I nuts?
Am I imagining some kind of pressure to be this super desirable and yet at the same time down to earth and hugely entertaining and OMG so witty but totally oblivious to it all Super She Blogger?
And if I’m not – if that’s really the expectation – do you think it’s possible to survive without being That Girl?
Do you think there’s room in the blogosphere for a chic who really looks like this?
Oh God, I think I’m going to be sick.
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Posted in Blogging and Bloggers - Tips, Contests and Stuff for Bloggers
A. Thanks for making me look like an asshole. Well, a bigger asshole than usual.
2. You totally mangled what I said. I said that everybody loves your honesty and bluntness about everything – your life, yourself, your flaws – but why would you want to present them with concrete evidence of your flaws? Let your words be enough.
III. That picture is weeeeeiiiirrrddd! It doesn’t look like you, at all! Until your hair is blonde, you’re no longer Britt. Your new name shall be Judy.
♥. I think it’s hilarious when you make your belly talk. It’s when you make your butt talk that I have to leave the room.
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There’s room – just don’t run into me …or a wall or something. :lmao:
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Who cares if people think you’re sleeping with your male friends? Do you honestly believe that those very same people aren’t going to *still* think the exact same thing no matter what you look like?
All that really matters is whether or not your husband believes the people who make that kind of thing up. And whether or not your friends (and their wives) are bothered by it.
I, personally, think that you should take this as an ego boost. Clearly, you are so witty, charming and sexeh that all the men of the blogosphere are falling over themselves to have you. Also, how much of an ego-boost is it to those fellas who are thought to have been so lucky as to find themselves with a catch like you.
People who have a giant misconception of who you are aren’t going to be dissuaded by a “highly real” post, even with pictures. Shoot, you know ~someone~ out there is going to say that you only did it to remove the suspicion cast upon you.
Welcome to the internet. This isn’t a situation that you’ve created, it’s a weird, petty thing that happens a lot for reasons beyond my ken. Denying it isn’t going to make a bit of difference. Nor will ignoring it, or even embracing it. You just have to figure out how to let it not bother you.
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Okay, since I totally missed the hair change yesterday, I have to say, I think it looks really nice. But then, I am going from blonde to brunette next week!! One thing to be aware of here in Florida, with the constant sun beating on our heads, colored hair tends to fade very quickly. Highlights and low lights will brighten even faster than normal. That is how I became a blonde. Blonde highlights over my brunette hair.
And as to who you are? You are an amazingly funny person, who cares deeply about her friends and family, who is not afraid to tackly subjects that are often considered taboo. You share your likes and dislikes with us and sometimes have to defend those. (which you totally should not have to do, but..) Guess what? Your Human!! :heartbeat:
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how the hell did you get ONE eye to do that?
i love that you are human. and funny about all of your flaws. we all have them, you point them out and remind us that it is ok to not be perfect. that is a wonderful gift you throw out to the world. don’t stop.
we won’t think less of you if you post bad photos or goofy videos. shit, we might love you more! (is that possible?)
:heartbeat:
oh…i dyed my hair a darker red than normal last night. dude missed a spot. so i have a light brown / blonde / light red area going on near my right temple. wtf? i mean, i went to a gay guy and everything. he just totally missed a spot. sigh. should have learned from you and not dyed my hair this week.
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Is is my turn for the “me too” comment? I think so!
FryeGoddess brought up an interesting point. I am completely imperfect in the “fat ass” department and people still think I’m having torrid affairs with a couple of my close male friends. I beileve that people really are going to think what they want to, no matter how hard I deny it. Therefore, I’ve become complacent and just let them assume what they want to, until it stops being fun and someone loses and eye and all that shit
.
I’m actually amazed by how many people have seen pictures of all of my flaws PLUS have seen them in person and yet they still love me for ME. I have to tell you though, that when I was going to my first blog party last year, I almost did not go because I wanted everyone to love the idea of me rather than see the real me. How pathetic is that?
I think you’re great! I have no idea why it took me so long to come over here since you know half of the same people I know…but once I did come, I was hooked on who you are, not how you look. But you are still damned hot, flaws and all!
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I guess I always assume people are not as perfect as they pretend to be. I mean really, if I am not perfect how the hell can they be?
I believe everyone has flaws, some are just more noticable than others. And the people that prance around acting like they are gods gift to the internets(or whatever), are not being honest to themselves. That is too bad. Their major flaw is probably not being happy. Or living a lie… that is sad.
Keep it real girl! I much rather you the way you are than if you were to be all flakey and fake. Yuck!
:heartbeat: :heartbeat: :heartbeat:
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avitable: I wasn’t trying to make you look like an asshole.
I don’t know, whenever I talk about my flaws and people say “oh, yeah, it’s not that bad”, I have this overwhelming urge to be like NO! You don’t understand! LOOK!! I suck!!
I think it comes from the same gene that responds to “that looks nice” with “I only spent $2 on it!!”
Kimberly: I probably won’t run into you – but I do bump into walls and tables a lot.
FyreGoddess: my inner child is screaming “but that’s not FAIIIIIRRRRR!” But you’re right – I do need to learn to just let go of any attachment to what people think – good, bad, or otherwise.
NotaGranny: maybe I should invest in more hats!
hellohahanarf: how did I get it to do that? I have a bizarre phenomenon called alternating… uh… something. I focus with one eye at a time. And something kind of like a lazy eye – but not always the same eye – is the result.
It is my #1 insecurity, by far.
Hilly: :heartbeat: I think one of the reasons it bothers me is because I’m married. And all of those suspicions take really awesome friendships that I cherish and turn them into something WRONG.
And we all know I don’t handle being “wrong” very well.
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are your eyes normally that stunning shade of blue or are you wearing cool colored contacts?
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That’s pretty much the coolest eye problem ever. Maybe it’s a superpower… one eye focuses on what the person is SAYING… the other eye is focusing on what they actually MEAN.
Damn, that’s cool.
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Well, can I just say; if you’re gonna be sick please do it in the pink Packers hat. :whistle:
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I am laughing so hard.
Honey, women who are funny and silly and say what they mean are allllwwwwaaaayyyyyssss accused of having sex with someone. Remember when that guy at a seminar sent me a book abiout being faithful to my own husband or whatever it was he did? I was so PISSED! Until I laughed.
You can never be anything but the brilliantly colored you that you are and you are the mainstay of my life.
And I am absolutely so astounded/proud that you used the word “succubus” – I LOVE you!!
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Everyone else’s comments are so eloquent, but I want to let you know that you ARE beautiful, we can “see” it in your writing. You may hate the way your hair looks today, but honestly, it doesn’t diminish your looks at all. Your eyes are the prettiest blue I think I’ve ever seen.
Have you ever noticed how sometimes a person you thought was so ga-ga-gorgeous, is not so ga-ga-gorgeous after you really get to know them? See, we’ve gotten to know you first, or at least one dimension of you, and it’s the most important one — your heart. :heartbeat:
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No seriously, the hair is fine already.
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I have to say that you should have refused to pay if you were unhappy with the hair. But then I also have to say I love it. I think it looks great on you. You could lighten it up with some blonde highlights, but it isn’t that bad!! :thumbsup:
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Ok.. the hair… is fine. I went that color once from blonde. Nah I didn’t love it, but relax, it’s totally not as horrible as you think it is.
The suckage rumors…. ignore them. People are like that. Your mom is right.
The insecurities and being brutally honest about even yourself… I pretty sure that’s why I still come here to read. Being, acting, seeming fake wouldn’t keep my readership unless you’re so far the other way to read like a fiction novel.
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hellohahanarf: LOL, no and no. I’m not wearing blue contacts. But I think it’s a monitor or camera or something thing. I have blue eyes, but they’re pretty normal blue. Not like my mom who has like neon eyeballs.
Rich: hahaha, yeah? Where were you when I was in school?
Michelle: NEVER!!!!!
Mom: why is that exactly? why are people like us always thought to be fucking everything that moves?? Riddle me THAT, Batman.
Geeky Tai-Tai: awwwwwww. Between you and me, your comment was pretty freaking eloquent. :blush:
RW: I just figured out why I still try to keep you around.
You’re funny, even when you’re being a shit.
deb: yeah, I’m a whimp!
Fogspinner: well thanks, thanks, and thanks!
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The brownish thing is growing on me. Really. But, knowing what you really wanted… now I’m dying to see that (hahahaha, pardon the pun, dying… hee hee).
I don’t know, Brittini, it’s Friday and I’m having an awfully hard time being serious. But, on a serious note, anyone who really KNOWS you, like your close friends and possibly even your anti-Christ BFF, find the whole “husband stealing whore” scenario to be absolutely freakin’ hilarious because it is so NOT YOU.
Know what I mean? So, sure, I get offended FOR YOU, but at the same time, I laugh because I know you and it’s absurd. :heartbeat:
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I have a theory into that whole “people think I’m a hussy” theory… I think it is the people who have never had a plantonic relationship with the opposite sex who think that. I’m fairly convinced that those people are just kind of jealous because they don’t know how to be friends with boys (or girls) and probably don’t know how to keep any relationship healthy.
Don’t worry about them.
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If the above is true… then how did Fab get the skinned knees after meeting you at the Halloween extravaganza??? :eyebrow:
I would also like to point out that one of the problems with bloggers in general is that most of the time they only do show one facet… so in a way they become one dimensional as opposed to the three dimensional superior beings they truly are. While your omnipotent plans for world domination may still need some work, I see no reason to begrudge the world and hold back the sides of you that you want to show.
However, while you are a loving, giving, and benevolent person, it may be wise to keep SOMETHING for yourself.
On a final note… this Judy chick is kinda cute. I :heartbeat: brunettes.
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Britt,
If there’s room in the blogosphere for someone like me, there is definitely room for someone as funny, attractive, and talented as you are.
Keep up the good work.
Like the hair, by the by, but I disagree with Avitable – I think Phantasmagoria is better than Judy.
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Sex sells. that’s why.
Work whatcher mama gave ya, honey.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
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Of course we don’t think you’re a hot little blonde oozing sex and hotness, leaving a trail of men…
… We think you’re a hot little auburn-with-blond-highlights person oozing sex and hotness, leaving a trail of men.
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AmyD: you and my mom should hang out. Bunch of tough skinned bitches, the both of you!! LOL
Erin: I worry a lot. Anymore worrying and I’d need medication.
NYCWD: I have a hard time figuring out (until it’s too late) which part is the part to hold back.
Vox: awwwww, thanks. :blush:
Mom: I am sending you and Amy off to your rooms, I swear.
BOSSY: funny, funny Bossy. Smartass.
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The thing is, if other people are insecure enough to not realise that you’re just human then there’s not much you can do to change their minds: we all love you the way you are, and I for one would trust you on a 3 year holiday alone on the moon with my husband because I believe you’re a person of integrity. I trust my husband implicitly. People need to have more trust!
When I first typed that it was intefrity :lmao:
Anyway, back to what I was saying – you seem like a very genuine person to me and that’s why I keep coming back here. Unlike that Avitable person :poke: I only read his blog to get ready for sexy-time :whip:
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I have no problem being brutally honest about myself on my blog, laying out all my flaws, my families flaws, my neighbors flaws, you get the idea. I disagree that people would stop reading. If that were the fact, I’d have lost lots of readers when I posted the soul cleansing I and II because I laid it all out there. Real is what I want to read. Not real fake. Ya know?
PS – I’m not feeling the hair. You are cuter as a blond. Just sayin.
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You know, I used to get the same nonsense two years ago when I started blogging. Then one day, I got completely fed up and put up a few pics of me, warts and all. I did the blogathon which had pics of me at 4am still trying to blog. I made sure not to come across as some femme fatale.
Then, I decided something else.
Fuck those insecure bitches who think I am capable of stealing their husbands/boyfriends. If I am capable of doing that so easily with the written word, then they obviously don’t have such a good relationship to start with.
Seriously. Do YOU, girl and be who you are without having to prove shit to anyone. You are beautiful, inside and out and your blog reflects you…without the benefit of photos.
There’s my rant. Rock on. :rock:
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Wait; you haven’t been your real self? Then I am going to stop reading.
I would rather read about the real you than the total skank you.
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We all have insecurities. In the blogging world there are people that use it to escape their reality and try to be something they are not. I am the most faithful reader to the one’s that are themselves. I have to your blog by of Mr. Fab and if he finds you interesting and funny to me that is saying something. :thumbsup:
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What I meant to say but some how brain farted in the last sentence… is… I come to your blog by way of Mr. Fab
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Britt, I know this is totally off the subject, but I kinda like the brown hair. Yes! you do look different, but you don’t look bad…and will you please for the love of God stop sleeping with my husband!
Kidding of course!!
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Didn’t comment on the hair yesterday because I sensed you were suffering and nothing I said would have mattered anyway. We girls are like that: 10 million people could tell us we looked great, but if we thought we sucked, we suck.
I need a color job SO-O-O bad right now. I got the badly needed trim (by that I mean when I told the woman I wanted it long on the top and short around the ears she chopped it all off within a inch of the roots)and now I have highlights left on the last 2 millimeters and au natural brown/gray everywhere else. I gagged when I looked in the mirror. I still haven’t had the time to schedule a color and highlight; I just sort of close my eyes when I look in the mirror, add tons of “product” and glosser and hope the shine blinds people so that they can’t see how much gray there is. I may be a grandmother but I’m not ready to be “granny” just yet.
Re: the men/sex thing: when you reach my age you’ll be flattered as hell that people think you could even ATTRACT another man. Your husband knows you’re in bed with him every night and that’s all that matters.
PS: RW and I will be in FL next fall. Do you think you’ll have the guacamole thing down by then?
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Oooh Mrs RW I will be in FL next fall too! NOW I am excited!
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I really like your hair. However, if you’re not happy with it, you should get them to change it. But it’s your eyes that get me. Wow. Talk about striking!
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Sugar–fuck them–not literally but do not let some whiny jealous bitch mess with your head. Anyone who has paid attention to what you write would see that you have a lot of character–the good kind.
Your Mom is absolutely right–I accepted a looooonnnggg time ago that folks who are lazy brained will make incorrect assumptions just because I am open about sex and look the way I do.
Just keep doing what you are doing–it’s definitely worthwhile.
(you are going back to blonde right?)
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I love men. They are my BEST buds.I like beer, farting and dirty jokes. I have 2-3 really good women friends but the guys understand me. I’m not screwing them either but sometimes the vibe is out there. I’ve learned to just enjoy who I’m with and what I’m doing otherwise I’d miss out on some fantastic times with great people–on and offline. As long as YOUR HUSBAND is cool with it who cares what other men or women think? :heartbeat:
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Geez, I thought you were going to be some kind of hag based on the post. You look kind of cute to me. Anyway, mystique is overrated… unless you’re looking to build your audience of creepy deluded stalkers.
Found my way over from ADW’s, btw.
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I’m waiting for the pictures.
Though I bet you could take a few years off if you went blonde :twitchy:
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There is ALWAYS room for a real person in the blogosphere, especially when her name is Britt!!!
I know where you are coming from. Some people totally get me wrong as well. I think you should be able to tell it like it is, always… ALWAYS!
Muah!
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Dee: I am definitely more genuine than Avitable. And also, better. Clearly.
Usedtobeme: I totally concur. On both points. (I hope I used concur correctly.)
CP: as long as chics as awesome as YOU keep reading – and posting – I’m all for just being me. You are so Awesome, doll. Seriously.
The Absurdist: Oh, I have been. But sometimes when people aren’t repulsed I think it must be because they don’t believe me. Or didn’t REALLY see how awful I was. Or something.
I’m a retard. LOL
Mindy: I don’t know, that Fab guy is pretty easily amused…
Janelle: you’re part of the Brunette Conspiracy!!!
Mrs RW: I could ship you a tub right now if you’d like.
And also, one time, I had this woman cut my shoulder length hair to the length you’re describing. It was awful. And all the product in the world (which I too used liberally, lol) did not hide it.
Coincidentally, my hair is lighter now, but I am not posting pictures because I haven’t had a chance to productfy it yet.
Mom: yeah, because YOUR DAUGHTER is not near enough of a draw! Pfft.
Selma: yeah they come across way cooler on the Internet I think. LOL
turnbaby: :heartbeat: (and yes, slowly but surely, back to blonde)
metalmom: I definitely need to remind myself more often not to let what other people affect me so much. Because I never ever want to miss out on one minute of a fantastic time!
Diesel: well, I’m no ADW…
Gecko Rock: yeah, yeah, I know.
DutchBitch: well you are seriously surrounded by morons. Honestly. I fear for you dollface!! LOL
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Yeah, that’s true… I guess… I fear for me as well… :help:
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Maybe I should make you a T-Shirt.
“I deserve better than YOU”
Do you think that would help?
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LOL Oh yessss!!!! :clap:
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But leave holes for the possum fur nipple warmers I was just sent yesterday by a fellow blogger!
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:sex011:
If your shit is good, I’ll read even if you have horns, a tail, and a hunch-back. Wait, I’d read anything written by someone with all those traits, because it would HAVE to be interesting.
What was my point again?
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For fuck’s sake – people think that about me. I absolutely hate it but what’s the alternative? Not have guy friends?
I think people are threatened by anyone who gets along with people. it’s stupid.
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This post gave me a hard on. I think yer FABULOUS, Britt. Fabulously intelligent, HILARIOUS, sexy, gifted with PhotoShop, etc., etc., etc. Please don’t be anything but YOU.
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