Comments on: The Watchers http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/ Dignity is Overrated Tue, 16 Mar 2010 13:28:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Miss Britt http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-16344 Miss Britt Thu, 22 Nov 2007 00:20:10 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-16344 Yeah, it is hard to sit back and watch. It's hard to be supportive and open - to be honest without getting shut out. It's hard to ignore your own helplessness and respect someone else's "choice" - when you can see it stopped being about choice and more about survival a long time ago. Thank God there are people out there who don't give up. Because even if it only works 1% of the time... that 1% is worth it. Yeah, it is hard to sit back and watch. It’s hard to be supportive and open – to be honest without getting shut out. It’s hard to ignore your own helplessness and respect someone else’s “choice” – when you can see it stopped being about choice and more about survival a long time ago.

Thank God there are people out there who don’t give up. Because even if it only works 1% of the time… that 1% is worth it.

]]> By: Ms. Understood http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-16334 Ms. Understood Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:21:25 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-16334 I was reading all the comments on Avitable's post today and the frustration of everyone reminded me of this post. It is so hard to be the watcher but it is so easy to get pulled back into it. You just keep hoping it will work. I was reading all the comments on Avitable’s post today and the frustration of everyone reminded me of this post. It is so hard to be the watcher but it is so easy to get pulled back into it. You just keep hoping it will work.

]]> By: Miss Britt http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14295 Miss Britt Sun, 04 Nov 2007 16:20:46 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14295 Which reminds me... there IS still afuckofalot the rest of us can do. Which reminds me… there IS still afuckofalot the rest of us can do.

]]> By: Gabrielle http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14293 Gabrielle Sun, 04 Nov 2007 15:54:04 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14293 Well, although I pressed charges the next day and went through all the proper he was charged with 3rd degree assault. This is the equivalent of spitting on a stranger. I was even asked to leave my the place we rented THAT WAS IN MY NAME ONLY! Granted I wouldn't have stayed there anyway, but he got to stay even though I was had been beaten within an inch of my life the day before. I did everything I could to help my case. I even had an MRI that showed multiple head concussions in various stages of healing. I suffered short term memory loss for a year because of so many repeated blows to the head. So perhaps the biggest problem isn't that the victims don't leave, it's that they know the stat say they are actually in greater danger after they do. Survivors are NOT protected! States may have the laws in place to punish DV abusers, But it is up to each county and officer whether they are enforced or not. Oh and this was not an upstanding citizen who did this to me; he was on PAROLE at the time! And yes his reporting officer knew about the charges, I made sure of it. Still he walked free. Well, although I pressed charges the next day and went through all the proper he was charged with 3rd degree assault. This is the equivalent of spitting on a stranger. I was even asked to leave my the place we rented THAT WAS IN MY NAME ONLY! Granted I wouldn’t have stayed there anyway, but he got to stay even though I was had been beaten within an inch of my life the day before. I did everything I could to help my case. I even had an MRI that showed multiple head concussions in various stages of healing. I suffered short term memory loss for a year because of so many repeated blows to the head.
So perhaps the biggest problem isn’t that the victims don’t leave, it’s that they know the stat say they are actually in greater danger after they do. Survivors are NOT protected! States may have the laws in place to punish DV abusers, But it is up to each county and officer whether they are enforced or not.
Oh and this was not an upstanding citizen who did this to me; he was on PAROLE at the time! And yes his reporting officer knew about the charges, I made sure of it. Still he walked free.

]]> By: Miss Britt http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14281 Miss Britt Sun, 04 Nov 2007 12:34:22 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14281 <b>Selma:</b> Oh my God, NO. It's not your fault. It's not necessarily her "fault" either - but it's definitely not yours. <b>Gabrielle:</b> what baffles me - angers me - about your story is why in the hell you still have to be afraid. How is a man like that not locked up for a very, very long time now!??!! Selma: Oh my God, NO. It’s not your fault. It’s not necessarily her “fault” either – but it’s definitely not yours.

Gabrielle: what baffles me – angers me – about your story is why in the hell you still have to be afraid. How is a man like that not locked up for a very, very long time now!??!!

]]> By: Gabrielle http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14260 Gabrielle Sun, 04 Nov 2007 05:27:15 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14260 I am also a survivor of DV. Strangely enough I tried to help 2 different coworkers get out of abusive relationships before I had mine. One of my best friends also works for our local shelter. I knew DV was not something I had to put up with. But my ex literally held me and my 4 yo daughter hostage for 7 months. My own family didn't even know where I was. The only people allowed around me were his family and when I begged them for help they ignored me. I was not even allowed to go to the bathroom alone. He was there 24/7. He sold my car so I couldn't escape. But I kept praying for a way out. God answered my prayers a year and a half ago. He trusted me long enough to let me drive to the nearest convenience store(10 miles away). He kept my daughter with him for insurance. I called my friend who worked for the shelter and she and the police showed up at my house after I got back with his beer. It isn't easy after leaving. I still have to change my cell phone # every few months. Somehow he manages to get it even though I don't give it out. I haven't slept a full night in a year since he found out where I live. I am on a couple of medications for panic attacks and PTSD. But my worst day without him is better than my best day with him! Please don't ever give up on trying to help. The person you save could have been me and my beautiful child. Thank you for addressing this neglected subject. I am also a survivor of DV. Strangely enough I tried to help 2 different coworkers get out of abusive relationships before I had mine. One of my best friends also works for our local shelter. I knew DV was not something I had to put up with.
But my ex literally held me and my 4 yo daughter hostage for 7 months. My own family didn’t even know where I was. The only people allowed around me were his family and when I begged them for help they ignored me. I was not even allowed to go to the bathroom alone. He was there 24/7. He sold my car so I couldn’t escape.
But I kept praying for a way out. God answered my prayers a year and a half ago. He trusted me long enough to let me drive to the nearest convenience store(10 miles away). He kept my daughter with him for insurance. I called my friend who worked for the shelter and she and the police showed up at my house after I got back with his beer.
It isn’t easy after leaving. I still have to change my cell phone # every few months. Somehow he manages to get it even though I don’t give it out. I haven’t slept a full night in a year since he found out where I live. I am on a couple of medications for panic attacks and PTSD. But my worst day without him is better than my best day with him!
Please don’t ever give up on trying to help. The person you save could have been me and my beautiful child.
Thank you for addressing this neglected subject.

]]> By: Wandering around in the past « Welcome to my life http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14213 Wandering around in the past « Welcome to my life Sat, 03 Nov 2007 15:18:52 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14213 [...] This week it’s been a combination of willfull wandering, and against my will stuggles.  It started when Miss Britt wrote this post.  That prompted me to write this post in which I went back and re-visited my nightmares but with different eyes, and therefore experienced different pain, even though it wasn’t my paid I experienced.  I was just tip toeing around the edges of my nightmares and memories at this point. [...] [...] This week it’s been a combination of willfull wandering, and against my will stuggles.  It started when Miss Britt wrote this post.  That prompted me to write this post in which I went back and re-visited my nightmares but with different eyes, and therefore experienced different pain, even though it wasn’t my paid I experienced.  I was just tip toeing around the edges of my nightmares and memories at this point. [...]

]]> By: Selma http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14177 Selma Sat, 03 Nov 2007 05:01:17 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14177 This post is such an important one. I was a watcher for many years and it only ended in tears. My best friend of over 25 years and I no longer talk. She was being abused by her husband and I helped her to leave him after he broke her jaw. Sadly, she went back to him after 6 months claiming everything would be fine. It wasn't long till the abuse started again and once more, she turned to me for help. As I was helping her pack her bags her husband came home and started throwing punches. My eye met his fist. When my husband saw what had happened he almost killed the abuser. It was so ugly. I still feel like I am going to throw up when I think about it. When it comes to domestic violence there are very few happy endings if the abused continues to return to the abuser. I am grateful to you because I still feel guilty that I didn't do enough for my friend. Now I realise it was out of my hands. Thank you. This post is such an important one. I was a watcher for many years and it only ended in tears. My best friend of over 25 years and I no longer talk. She was being abused by her husband and I helped her to leave him after he broke her jaw. Sadly, she went back to him after 6 months claiming everything would be fine. It wasn’t long till the abuse started again and once more, she turned to me for help. As I was helping her pack her bags her husband came home and started throwing punches. My eye met his fist. When my husband saw what had happened he almost killed the abuser. It was so ugly. I still feel like I am going to throw up when I think about it.

When it comes to domestic violence there are very few happy endings if the abused continues to return to the abuser. I am grateful to you because I still feel guilty that I didn’t do enough for my friend. Now I realise it was out of my hands. Thank you.

]]> By: Miss Britt http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14055 Miss Britt Thu, 01 Nov 2007 13:00:24 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14055 <b>annie:</b> in which case, you both should be commended! <b>turnbaby:</b> yep, definitely! <b>And Thank you SleepyNita - totally touched, honored, and stoked!</b> annie: in which case, you both should be commended!

turnbaby: yep, definitely!

And Thank you SleepyNita – totally touched, honored, and stoked!

]]> By: Petroville | Petroville http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/comment-page-1/#comment-14048 Petroville | Petroville Thu, 01 Nov 2007 10:43:00 +0000 http://miss-britt.com/2007/10/the-watchers/#comment-14048 [...] Suburban Turmoil awarded Dooce Miss Cellania awarded The Gunsmoke Files I Obsess awarded Nonlinear Girl Serendipity Mine awarded Absolutely Bananas Pundit Mom awarded Lawyer Mama Hotfessional awarded Redneck Mommy Toddled Dredge awarded Navel Gazing Our Life Together awarded A Day in the Life Suburban Kamikaze awarded I am Bossy Old Horsetail Snake awarded It’s a Raggedy Life Pass the Torch awarded Don’t Try This At Home MammaLoves awarded I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Wino Marie Mallard awarded This Just In Fertile Mertile awarded Magneto Bold Too! Something to Say awarded Twas Brillig Drowning in Laundry awarded Miss Britt Mrs. Incredible awarded Oh, the Joys Alex Year One awarded Playgroups are No Place for Children Dark and Divine and Toddler Planet awarded Crib Chronicles A Child is Born awarded Serving the Queens One Plus Two awarded The Silent I Mother May I awarded The Little Zygote That Could Chicken And Cheese awarded Sandy And Kurt Masked Mom awarded Lifenut All Rileyed Up awarded Three and Holding Blowtorch in the Middle awarded Toddler Planet Susie J awarded Whee! All the Way Home The Wooden Porch awarded Scribbit Pamela nominates Inland Empire Girl Midwestern Mommy awarded Mamalogues Letters to My Daughters awarded Momma Zen Petroville awarded WhyMommy @ DC Metro Moms Blog [...] [...] Suburban Turmoil awarded Dooce Miss Cellania awarded The Gunsmoke Files I Obsess awarded Nonlinear Girl Serendipity Mine awarded Absolutely Bananas Pundit Mom awarded Lawyer Mama Hotfessional awarded Redneck Mommy Toddled Dredge awarded Navel Gazing Our Life Together awarded A Day in the Life Suburban Kamikaze awarded I am Bossy Old Horsetail Snake awarded It’s a Raggedy Life Pass the Torch awarded Don’t Try This At Home MammaLoves awarded I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Wino Marie Mallard awarded This Just In Fertile Mertile awarded Magneto Bold Too! Something to Say awarded Twas Brillig Drowning in Laundry awarded Miss Britt Mrs. Incredible awarded Oh, the Joys Alex Year One awarded Playgroups are No Place for Children Dark and Divine and Toddler Planet awarded Crib Chronicles A Child is Born awarded Serving the Queens One Plus Two awarded The Silent I Mother May I awarded The Little Zygote That Could Chicken And Cheese awarded Sandy And Kurt Masked Mom awarded Lifenut All Rileyed Up awarded Three and Holding Blowtorch in the Middle awarded Toddler Planet Susie J awarded Whee! All the Way Home The Wooden Porch awarded Scribbit Pamela nominates Inland Empire Girl Midwestern Mommy awarded Mamalogues Letters to My Daughters awarded Momma Zen Petroville awarded WhyMommy @ DC Metro Moms Blog [...]

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