The one in which I humiliate myself in order to give YOU all a genuine look at Halloween

by Miss Britt on October 29, 2007

Do you ever have one of those times where you come face to face with the fact that your perception of things might be slightly (or possibly dramatically) different than how others perceive things?

For example:

I imagined that Avitable’s Halloween party was fantastic! I hung out with some of the most amazingly fabulous people you could ever hope to share a karaoke mic with. In my head, I was one of several belles of the ball and equally as charming and wonderful as the others.

In reality…

BEFORE

Taken within two seconds of walking in the door

DURING

One of these people was fabulously charming.  And wearing a bonnet.

and AFTER

One of these people is absolutely delightful.  And looking petrified.

(click on the pictures to make bigger…)

Dignity, thy name is Hasta La Vista.

Another example:

I imagine myself to be a pretty warm, genuine, fun person. I also imagine, in my head, that everyone would be falling over themselves for a chance to hang out with me. Because I am fun! And happy! And in general pretty fucking nice!

However, I was recently informed in the middle of a certain party that I am not nearly as well liked as one would hope for because I am, in fact “abrasive and try too hard.”

*sigh*

I’m having a crisis of identity this morning.

You can read more reviews of the party here, here, here and here.

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Posted in Blogging and Bloggers - Tips, Contests and Stuff for Bloggers, Photo Essays

44 Comments so far

  1. avitable October 29, 2007 10:01 am

    You were funny and awesome and a kick-ass person to have at a party because you are like a hot little walking party in a white dress. I’m glad you guys had fun!

    Reply

  2. RW October 29, 2007 10:10 am

    “Abrasive and try too hard”!? I didn’t get that at all this past spring. When you finished Avi’s mashed potatoes and wanted to turn the conversation to religion and politics I knew you were just like, you know, a natural force.

    And I sure am getting a lot of mileage off that mashed potato thing ain’t I?

    Reply

  3. hellohahanarf October 29, 2007 10:40 am

    abrasive can be fun. but you trying too hard? i don’t buy it. me thinks that others most likely were also drinking.

    you are awesome. we all know it.
    :heartbeat:

    Reply

  4. hellohahanarf October 29, 2007 10:41 am

    oh, and who is the person in the last photo with you?

    Reply

  5. Mr. Fabulous October 29, 2007 10:59 am

    You are a living breathing party all by yourself, darling. Mrs. Fab and I were completely captivated and enchanted by you, as was everyone.

    There is always a fly or two in the ointment. Would you believe that there are a few dickheads out there who don’t think I’m funny?

    You…are a treasure. I would gladly take a bullet for you any day of the week.

    Which…would probably be less painful than that overnight babysitting offer I keep making.

    By the way, the funniest line of the night belongs to you husband who, when I once again made the offer, took a look at my giant cock and said something like “You’ll leave that at home, right?”

    Reply

  6. DeannaBanana October 29, 2007 11:05 am

    As was mentioned previously, forget that whole trying thing. now you can let this person know without a doubt how much you dont give a shit.

    On another note, you are making me regret not being at the party, what with all the craziness that is you on everyone elses blogs!

    I do have to say, though, that your kiddies are incredibly easy to care for. So much so that we would do it again without hesitation..so that has to say something, right?

    Reply

  7. Mom October 29, 2007 11:27 am

    That shit still makes me laugh reading it out loud.

    I have a list at Amazon of books that I am prepared to order and have delivered for exactly the purpose we – uh – discussed, such as…

    “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
    “Social Graces for Dummies” or Idiots or Morons or Whatever It Is
    “Emo – the Evolution of Angst”
    “Outgrowing the Behavior of Adolescence”
    “Having Lots of Friends is Easy When You Have a Small Pool to Draw From”

    I gotcher back, babe. And I WANT TO COME TO THE PARTY NEXT YEAR!

    Oooooh – I will have vacation by then!!!

    Reply

  8. QofD October 29, 2007 11:31 am

    Dignity, thy name is Hasta La Vista.

    Best. Sentence. Ever.

    Oh, shine the others on. You can’t be liked by everyone all the time and honestly? Sometimes I think that people will accuse you of “trying too hard” or whatever other bullshit because they’re jealous of your social capabilities.

    I personally, would LOVE to hang out with you. So if you ever want to come to my Halloween shindigs here in California you are more than welcome. Of course my shindigs consist of throwing candy at trick or treaters while drinking Thunderbird out of a brown paper bag so Avitable’s was probably better.

    Reply

  9. gtboat October 29, 2007 11:32 am

    :martini: Looks like you had a good time..That,my dear,is ALL that counts.

    Reply

  10. Terry October 29, 2007 11:32 am

    ABRASIVE, AND TRY TO HARD, How dare they belittle such a wonderful person such as you. Anyone of character would have used the terms such as callous, porous, irritating, but abrasive, come on now !!! And try to hard, well that takes the cake. We all know you are just an OVER ACHIEVER, STRIVER, and well ambitious beyond belief, but to say ” TRY TO HARD ” Well that is just not right. Besides, we all love you just as you are ??? :evil: :banghead: :whip: :angel:

    Reply

  11. NYCWD October 29, 2007 11:52 am

    I have very good information from a very credible source that you are in fact… soft.

    Therefore the person speaking of the abrasiveness obviously had way more than you to drink.

    Reply

  12. AmyD October 29, 2007 12:03 pm

    Stupid and try to hard… I’m still flaming over this. Quite frankly, I wish the person who said that read this blog because I, for one, would love to tell her that you do not try hard at all, for some people being NICE doesn’t take such effort.

    But, then, I can totally get where a flaming cuntwad piece of shit could never get that. Feel free to pass along that my opinion or the person’s email address and I’ll convey my thoughts on it to him/her personally.

    It’s ok, that he/she has “enough friends” and perhaps we won’t advertise that 99% of them are imaginary and that he/she is supposed to be on meds for hearing all those voices.

    Reply

  13. Miss Britt October 29, 2007 12:18 pm

    avitable: is that why you were hiding from me all night?

    RW: LOL, you really are. I’d swear is was the first time you’d heard “you gonna eat that?”

    hellohahanarf: maybe. I forget not everyone gets all “i looooove you, man” when they drink. How strange is that?!?

    (the person in the last pic is a non-blogger who does not wish to be plastered all over the internet. weanies.)

    Mr. Fab: :heartbeat:

    How about you two just come on down and hang at the house – no sitter required. They are heavy sleepers. :-)

    DeannaBanana: the presence of the dynamic duo of Dee&Lee was definitely missed!!

    Mom: you’re so funny when you’re on one! LOL

    QofD: and same to you! Although I insist you wear pants. Obviously my waffley ego cannot take an encounter with those Sticks of Divinity you call legs.

    gtboat: I did indeed :D

    Terry: and this from a man who is scared of me. :heartbeat:

    NYCWD: that’s true, I am soft. And squishy!

    AmyD: your loyalty is both overwhelming sweet, and frightening.

    If I ever had the need for a corner, you’ll be the first person I put in it. (you will also be responsible for purchasing “supplies”.)
    :heartbeat: :heartbeat:

    Reply

  14. Miss Britt October 29, 2007 12:19 pm

    To All:

    You guys really are awesome. And I’m OK. You know (most of you, by now, anyway) how I am.

    A picture of self confidence… unless you’re doing anything less than singing my praises! LOL

    Is’OK. I’m OK. And you all are FABULOUS!

    :heartbeat: :heartbeat: :D :heartbeat: :heartbeat:

    Reply

  15. Amanda October 29, 2007 12:40 pm

    Amy said “flaming cuntwad piece of shit

    Reply

  16. AmyD October 29, 2007 12:43 pm

    Yeah, sometimes I am not the virginal, betty crocker, June Cleaver I portray in the rest of my life.

    Hee hee.

    And, supplies for THIS particular flaming piece of garbage will include:

    ice pick
    shovel
    cigarettes
    bamboo shoots
    alcohol
    lemon juice
    and a large garbage bag.

    Use your imagination.

    Reply

  17. deb October 29, 2007 1:07 pm

    Abrasive and try to hard? I am so not buying the pity party thing today. You so know you are fabulous! I mean look at you in those pictures…Marilyn Monroe is oh so jealous that she was not you! :nana:

    Reply

  18. Mom October 29, 2007 1:09 pm

    “Flaming cuntwad piece of shit

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    right up there with “cock slapping monkey fucker” – I think I got that right.

    Amy, I adore you.

    Reply

  19. ADW October 29, 2007 1:13 pm

    What???

    Try too hard? Blech. I hope the person who said that got pushed into the pool. Dickhead.

    Reply

  20. sam October 29, 2007 1:15 pm

    Abrasive and try too hard? :clap: Good one.

    Someone obviously gets less traffic then you.

    Sure you can be a bitch. But that’s why I love you so much.

    Reply

  21. CP October 29, 2007 1:42 pm

    We all must hang out again…in a more dignified atmosphere…

    yeah right. :sex014:

    Group orgy? I think our husbands were in love.

    Reply

  22. Brandi October 29, 2007 1:44 pm

    Who would be so classless to be so negative at a party? If they really really really wanted to say it, wouldn’t it be more appropriate to say it when you are one on one? I swear, that person seems really insecure and seems to take pleasure in bringing others down with them.

    Reply

  23. Hilly October 29, 2007 1:57 pm

    Wow, I came over to read your party story and see your pics and was blown away that someone said that to you. Sure, I don’t know you but what kind of a person says that in the middle of a party, FFS? Anyway, my progressive drunk pictures always turn out exactly the same! Glad you all had fun :) .

    Reply

  24. Miss Britt October 29, 2007 2:10 pm

    Amanda: yeah, Amy’s vocabulary increases in direct proportion to her temper.

    AmyD: you’re throwing another Halloween party? :confused:

    deb: he he he *smooches* at you chica!

    Mom: yeah, likes attracting likes and all. :evil:

    ADW: well, I think not getting a Christmas card from me is CLEARLY punishment enough!

    sam: heh, you sound like my husband.

    CP: well I know MINE was at least! LOL

    And what is this “dignified atmosphere” of which you speak??

    Brandi: or just post it on the Internet. I mean clearly that is a more classy approach!!

    Hilly: I did, and Dave had nothing but wonderful things to gush about YOU, by the way. :)

    Reply

  25. AmyD October 29, 2007 2:12 pm

    sure I am. Just me, one other person, a video camera and the end result will be a video gift for you… the gift that keeps on giving. :heartbeat:

    @ Britt’s Mom I see nothing wrong with like attracting like, do you? :dunno:

    Reply

  26. Y2K Survivor October 29, 2007 2:17 pm

    Trying to be hard?!! According to more than one commentor on the party your nips were hard as diamonds, so I guess it’s mission accomplished! If not, I am sure Adam has a stash of those little blue pills somewhere arou d the office.
    Whazzthat…? They said “trying too hard…?”



    …uh never mind.”

    Reply

  27. Franki October 29, 2007 2:27 pm

    First time here, but just wanted to say that I saw your video over at Avitables and you totally cracked me up. Thanks for the entertainment!

    Reply

  28. BOSSY October 29, 2007 5:31 pm

    Wow, a “hot walking party in a dress”? What other affirmation were you looking for?

    Reply

  29. Kentucky Girl October 29, 2007 5:50 pm

    I can tell by those big-ass smiles on y’all’s faces that you were having a smashingly good time. :sex012:

    Reply

  30. Poppy October 29, 2007 6:06 pm

    I am still waiting for Avi to do a proper party post, but that video was awesome. :)

    Reply

  31. Sybil Law October 29, 2007 10:45 pm

    I thought you looked like a fun girl having a fun time! People suck sometimes, as I am sure you know already!
    Whatever. I wish I could’ve been at the party!

    Reply

  32. turnbaby October 29, 2007 11:42 pm

    Sugar–sometimes when folks with lower self esteem feel threatened they make those types of comments to folks they feel are more vibrant in life than them.

    Seems you struck a lot of positive and one negative nerve. Good on ya!

    Reply

  33. Miss Britt October 30, 2007 8:38 am

    AmyD: :lmfao:

    Y2K: I really thought that was a very quick, for Mrs. Avitable’s eyes only flash. *sigh*

    Franki: thanks for stopping by – y’all come back now, ya hear!?!

    BOSSY: I know, right? :D

    Kentucky Girl: it was ridiculously fun!

    Poppy: I think he spent like 24 hours straight editing pictures – so you should get plenty. Eventually.

    Sybil Law: there’s always next year!

    turnbaby: that’s what my mom always says. :-)

    Reply

  34. turnbaby October 30, 2007 8:46 am

    LOL

    Yup

    Reply

  35. Y2K Survivor October 30, 2007 10:23 am

    Hey my only thought was, “She promises Boobs and she delivers!” Well, maybe it was just the tip of the iceberg, but still…

    Reply

  36. Miss Britt October 30, 2007 10:37 am

    Oh dear God, you’re right!!

    :blush: :doh:

    Reply

  37. Lynda October 30, 2007 4:23 pm

    I don’t get abrasive and tries to hard from you.

    Reply

  38. AmyD October 30, 2007 4:39 pm

    Personally, I’d like this person to tell me that I, “try to hard to be abrasive” he/she would be referring to the Black and Decker electric sander in my hand.

    :evil:

    (Sorry, Britt, couldn’t resist, PMS is a bitch)

    Reply

  39. Miss Britt October 30, 2007 4:44 pm

    Yeah, usually people prefer the word “caustic”. :-)

    Abrasive didn’t bug me near as much as “tries too hard”, like I’m a pathetic fucking puppy begging for their attention.

    Um, no. I was trying to be nice because it’s the NICE thing to do.

    Reply

  40. Karen Rani October 30, 2007 8:41 pm

    I saw your adorable and funny video over at Avi’s and I think I talked to you on Mr. Fab’s radio show a couple of weeks ago…you seem really nice and I wouldn’t think those things of you.
    I’m sorry someone said that crap to you but usually when someone flings shit, they are just projecting their own insecurities. :)

    Reply

  41. DutchBitch October 31, 2007 6:11 am

    The person who said you are “abbrasive and try too hard” CLEARLY doesn’t understand one snippet of what you are about… LOL

    Reply

  42. Miss Britt October 31, 2007 9:43 am

    Karen Rani: unless you’re completely free of insecurities, like ME!!! LOL :angel:

    DutchBitch: to be fair, there are a lot of snippets to wade through. :heartbeat:

    Reply

  43. Dave2 November 1, 2007 10:53 pm

    Admit it… you look at that photo of the two of us and have to seriously debate which of us is hotter… don’t you?

    :lmao:

    Reply

  44. Miss Britt November 1, 2007 11:45 pm

    Are you kidding me? There is no question.

    Even in that gingham….

    :o hgreatone:

    Reply

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