Do you know what today is? Do you? DO YOU?
Pfft.
Today is exactly two months since I moved to Florida. Or, more accurately, two months since I bought my house and officially became a Florida resident (unless you ask the DMV people - in which case, I’m just visiting! Visitors don’t need Florida licenses!!).
Two months. Craziness.
OK, I know. It’s a little “oh my god, do you know today is exactly 39 days since the first time we kissed on that swing in that park for the third time!!?!?!?! squeee!”
But, whatever. I’m taking this opportunity to do some more navel gazing and self analyzing just making a casual observation.*
So, what have I learned/done/accomplished/havetotalkabout in the last two months?
Welllllllll…..
I have obviously made progress on my house. In fact, as of last night, we have painted a grand total of one room. My son’s bedroom is painted, and has blinds and curtains (which need to be rehung, frickin’ husband if he would just watch those HGTV shows I tape for him he would know you cannot have blinds peeking between tabs of a tabbed valance.). Granted, nothing is hung up. And no other rooms are touched. And there are still boxes. And - listen! I’ve made progress! Stop judging me!
Moving on.
I have two real life friends who know my phone number and call it and stuff. One of them even has a husband that I am totally going to set my husband up with (because he makes fart jokes. My husband loves fart jokes.).
I have learned that those mirrors on the side of your car are actually really useful. And not just for looking at yourself when you’re sitting in the passenger’s seat! I have also learned that turn signals are for pussies, speed limits have absolutely no bearing on how fast (or slow) traffic moves, and an accident downtown will affect my commute 30 minutes away.
I now know the names of 12 streets, including the one I live on.
I can drive you to two Wal-Marts, three malls, an Ulta (OMG we have an Ulta!!), four Chinese restaurants, a Bed Bath & Beyond and a Linens N’ Things, and one Bombay Company. With little or no checking of Google maps.
I realize now that there is nothing wrong with using Google maps. Even the people who live here don’t know where everything is.** Which completely justifies my desire for a GPS system. Or an iPhone.
The weather here is psychotic. And regional local determined by block. This further proves my imminent need for an iPhone.
The cell phone plans here suck major ass. Which is seriously dampening my chances of actually getting an iPhone.
I haven’t seen my family or friends in two months. And they’ve stopped getting all “ohmigod it’s Britt! it’s Britt! shhh.. turn that down, everyone come here! yes! yes! we’re here! how are YOU?!” when I call. I now have a 50/50 chance of someone actually answering the phone if they see my number on caller ID. I sent my grandma to voice mail last night.
In other words, I can get through the day to day pretty much all right. And my routine here is now my routine. And life is slowly starting to move on. And on sunny mornings (read: 99% of mornings), I am reminded of exactly why I moved to this place.
And also? I’m going home for Christmas. And I absolutely can’t wait. And the $1100 I had to shell out for the tickets was worth every penny.
Because Christmas is for family. Christmas is for home.
And after two months of living here, home is still 1400 miles away.
.
.
.
*If you read this post in your feed reader is not nearly as funny. And possibly won’t make sense. I’m just sayin’.
**did anyone notice me say “even people who live here”? Ah, Freud, you’re such a rascal.
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Well, I don’t use Google Maps. I know my way around every nook and cranny of the entire Central Florida area!
I can’t believe you didn’t mention the fire ants as part of your two month breaking-in period!
October 10th, 2007 at 9:59 am
you never used your mirrors before?
i’m glad you are headed back to the land of snow for christmas. there will be plenty of holidays when you stay home in florida. this year christmas will be extra special.
October 10th, 2007 at 10:12 am
OMFG!!!!! YOU HAVE AN ULTA!!!!!!
OMFGICBI!!!!! AN ULTA!!!!! 
What. The. Fuck. Is. An. Ulta?
October 10th, 2007 at 11:03 am
A very good friend of mine is a detective on the St. Cloud police force. That and 50 cents will buy you a newspaper!
October 10th, 2007 at 11:05 am
so gad u transplanted so well….I didn’t know those mirrors on the car were for anything but looking at myself to explain!!
October 10th, 2007 at 11:08 am
All the
strikesdo get stripped out for feeds. So yeah… makes less sense in my feed reader. :-/I’m with Dawg. What’s an Ulta?
October 10th, 2007 at 11:34 am
The strikes don’t get stripped out in Google Reader.
October 10th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Yeah, what about Fire Ants! Don’t ya just love those little rascals!
I’ve been here 10 years and still have to use Google because people can’t give accurate directions!
I will be your friend on the West Coast!
October 10th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Wait until the snow flies. Then you will totally be content with your decision. Really. Because snow sucks. Shoveling it sucks, scraping it off your car sucks, drivers suck when there is snow on the ground…
October 10th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
AND you have Thanksgiving plans! And a rocking Halloween party to go to. Dude. And plans for Saturday and maybe even Friday lunch plans. that is more than a lot of people who haven’t recently just moved have!
You know I died a little inside when my husband started with the fart jokes upon your first meeting, right? And that maybe, while he was standing in front of that big fan, he wasn’t really joking?
October 10th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Wow, huh, I only have your cell number, so that makes me your imaginary friend, I guess.
October 10th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
I’m really proud of you, little one!!!
Looking for world domination next.
PS I had an ambulance call at six this morning to Waterloo - sorry!!
October 10th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
I, too, must ask: what’s an Ulta?
October 10th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
avitable: you use Google maps to go three blocks. And I forgot about the fire ants!!
hellohahanarf: well, I used my REAR view mirror. But back home, that was really all that was required.
NYCWD: :lmfao: An Ulta is a poor woman’s Sephora. :-)
RW: I have no clue. Absolutely none.
debkitty: they are also very useful when driving in crazy traffic and needing to change lanes in a space just long enough for your car to slide into.
Joefish: it’s where you can go to get all the beauty supplies you need!!
avitable: well aren’t you special.
NotaGranny: and once we meet at the party you can become my Real Life one too! LOL
themuttprincess: very true… except I will be going BACK for that shit.
DeannaBanana: oh hush. You love fart jokes too.
AmyD: my imaginary friend is my bestest though.
Mom: some people keep in touch by phone, or email, or maybe even text.
You comment on my blog.
t: http://www.Ulta.com
October 10th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I’ve been to Florida once. Seemed nice enough from the airport terminal. Isn’t that where people go when they’ve had enough of weather?
Nothing wrong with that. You seem depressed about it, though (the Freudian slip, the excessive shopping). Maybe what you need to do is wait for winter and then become a weather channel junkie–look at the weather in the rest of the country until you’re happy again. I’m sure an image of broken-back me shovelling snow can make anyone happy.
October 10th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Oops, I forgot to identify myself. Dang.
October 10th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Excessive shopping??
You can tell when I’m depressed when I am not shopping. Excessively.
October 10th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Good. You know were all the important stuff is. Congrats on two months! :dance:
October 10th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Squeee?
October 10th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
I can’t believe that Dawg and Joe didn’t know what an Ulta was. C’mon! Although I like your description of a “poor girl’s Sephora”.
You know they’ll be asking next…uh what’s Sephora?
October 10th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
[...] Directions Posted on October 10, 2007 by msbatman Reading Miss Brit’s blog post today reminded me I had a similar experience today. She mentioned that she now knows the name of 12 streets in her new home town, one of those is the one she lives on. Always helpful. [...]
October 10th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I’ve lived in Idaho for two years. Unless you check my drivers license, registration or license plate. In which you’ll find I’m still a residence of Texas.
Lazy I am.
October 10th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Ok, so what’s a Sephora?
;)
October 10th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Hey. I’ve been reading Avitable for awhile, and I’ve seen you and all about your move over there, but for some reason I’ve never been over HERE.
Anyway, I’m here now. Great blog. We have a lot in common (except you work with Avi, which has to be very, very different).
Stop by sometime.
J. :dazed:
October 11th, 2007 at 5:43 am
What is an Ulta?
October 11th, 2007 at 7:38 am
heather: I just have to find a good nail salon now!
Rich: yes, squee. It’s the girly girl “dude”
Lisa: I know. I wonder where they get their beauty supplies from??
Kristi: first - I’m kind of peeing myself with delight that you are not only HERE, but commenting. OK?
Second - I need to have the perfect hair day/make up day if I’m going to get a new license. I don’t see that happening any time soon.
Joefish: ask Barb!
HoosierGirl5: well…. welcome!
ADW: tell me you are joking.
And if you’re not - go to http://www.ulta.com - and then pretend like you knew all along, ok?
October 11th, 2007 at 8:35 am