First, let me say that your comments yesterday were so smaht. Really. I don’t know why it never occurred to me that some people may have issues, they just choose to keep them under wraps.
Well, no, I do know why that’s never occurred to me… but anyway. Good to know, good to know. (Of course now I find myself in the conundrum of do I continue to be myself, or do I be polite and make sure not to do anything that would make someone uncomfortable. Like fart. Or something.)
BUT! That is not important today. Because TODAY I am MEETING SOMEONE!!!
I may or may not have mentioned that I’ve become a little desperate and crazed to make friends. Really. It’s kind of pathetic. And I may or may not have run an ad in the local paper that resembled something like:
Wanted: Friends For Couple
Must be funny and cool and able to tolerate children. Preferably have kids of your own or connections to people who babysit. For free. On weekends and party holidays. Speaking of party holidays, must know what those are. Am not looking for invitation to meetings, but would appreciate a drunken game of “I Never” on the back patio once in a while. Also should be funny. And preferably swear. Absolutely must not blush at the word b***h. Or use *** in normal circumstances when what you really mean is b***h. Use of the word f*** is optional. Please call XXX-XXXX if interested. Or just stop by. Any time. I’ll cook. And pay for booze.
Updated at editor’s request: no, we are not swingers
Like I said, it’s gotten a little sad. I feel like the slutty girl in college who “really, totally, I just LOOOOVE sex!” and is willing to pay for the condoms and the beer and the gas and what? you need a cell phone? OK! if you just please God bring her home to meet your parents!!!!
Today, I am meeting my first real live person in Florida.
Well, OK. That’s not entirely true. Today I’m meeting the first real live person that is not in anyway associated with the Builder or Adam.
I am going to lunch with another Florida transplant blogger. I’m so psyched! (but really, not in a stalker way, I promise. Hi!!!) While it’s true that she is old, and she golfs, and she doesn’t buy shoes… she does smoke. And drink. So, we should be just fine.
Plus, anyone responds to this email:
“Don’t worry - we’ll be fine. It will be weird and awkward and we’ll be nervous - but that’s OK. That’s just normal.
Although, you are OLD…. and you do GOLF….
(and this is the type of stuff I am likely to say to you if I like you)
So. Do you know any place I can get a good taco salad?”
… with directions to lunch, has got to have something going on in my book.
Of course, I did already tell her that if she is any way mean to me I am going to write a lengthy post about what a bitch she was.
Naturally, I’m expecting bribery in the form of gifts.
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Posted in Blogging Tips, Tricks and Junk for Other Bloggers
Damn IT! I told you, you don’t need any more friends now that you have ME. And the cameras I installed in your house.
Now, excuse me while I go get my hair styled into cute blond curls and get a little tattoo on my shoulder. And then we can watch Single White Female and be just like Bridget and Jennifer!
Wow…you are REALLY into bribery. You mention it every chance you get. I am starting to think you are not so sweet and innocent after all.
Damn it all to hell and back. I think I’m coming down to Disney next year and if you promise to bite, we have a deal.
HEY!! I’m in FL, dammit!
All the better though because I drink too much and wouldn’t be able to find my way back home in one piece. I can invite you to my next BBQ (aka - drunken poker) though :)
We are very kid friendly around here. Drunk, kid friendly, poker players. Yep, that’s us!
Peggy, God damn it, you don’t invite me to your BBQs, you better not be inviting Britt! :violent018:
can’t wait to hear how your internet date goes!
Oooooh, THIS should be interesting.
I say when it comes to the skeletons in the closet friends, be yourself turned down a notch.
Have tons of taco salad and good convo today! Good luck.
Fab, I totally would but I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving the animals about with you there. Mendel just wouldn’t feel safe.
Plus, you don’t like my kids, you kid hatin’ mother fucker!! And I said we are a kid friendly household.
I still love you though.
avitable: take off my underwear. That’s going too far. Even for you.
Mr. Fab: why are people always surprised to find out I’ve been serious? What You See Is What You Get is more than just a bumper sticker with me.
ADW: SWWEEET! Please send locks of hair so I can have hairmakerperson start preparing my matching ADW wig. We’ll be like twins! Yay!
Peggy: HEY!!! WE are drunk kid friendly poker players too!!!! (and I am the QUEEN poker player)
Where in FL?
Mr. Fab: hey, quit trying to get me uninvited before I am officially INvited. Fucker.
hello: I’ll tell you first then - it was great!!
Miss Britt: Amy… why are you logged in as me again?
Brandi: I don’t know if I have a turn down knob…
Peggy: I’m sure Mendel would love me!!!
Britt - Ahhh damn, you are actually good at poker? Fuck. I suck but perhaps you could teach me and then we could take over the Poker room that is currently being built. I live roughly 45 minutes from Disney World. About 30 minutes from the Hwy27 Exit Ramp on I-4.
Mendel loves everybody. So far!
Girls are weird about “friends.” They happen or they don’t. I always figured if a person isn’t around here they’re not where it’s at. Whatever it was…
Britt, you should be more worried about the fact that it actually fits me!!!
Hey, I had the good fortune of meeting both Britt AND Avitable!
*rubs hands together*
I can’t wait to read the review!
I would offer to be a real live friend, but I am on the gulf coast. But I am kid friendly, I like to drink and I smoke.
While I do not have children of my own, I have two grandchildren (who are too young to babysit) but I do have a pool, tiki bar, and spare bedroom!
Here’s what we used to do: we knew 3 other couples who could loosely be described as friends (our kids went to the same school). We each took weekend night once a month and babysat everyone else’s kids at our house (kids loved it; major sleepover). So we all got a weekend night 3 times a month to go out and not have to pay a babysitter. Chicken pox? No problem, they all had it. That was no excuse to get out of your weekend to sit.
We did socialize once in a while without the kids, but since none of us could afford sitters it was a rarity.
Hope your blogger meet-up is fun!
I hope it all goes well for you with your meeting…I know it is hard being in a new place, give it time I am sure you will meet some cool people!
OMG!! Me and Amy have like minds! I too have my own “Britt Shrine” People from all across the land come to view it. My husband says that nobody is really there and I’m just talk to the air, but I CAN SEE THEM! We have nightly “Britt Meetings” and redirect the spot light on your picture to see which lighting makes you look the best…that’s not weird right? Oh! and just a side note to Adam, thanks for sending me the extra pair of panties. They fit perfectly on my human size Britt doll!! Thanks again Adam, your the best!
So, Britt next time you’re in TN, will you PLEEEASE come to our meeting???
Peggy: that’s OK, I’m so charming people actually LIKE losing to me.
RW: yeah, but girls need other girls - it’s just part of what makes us different than boys.
avitable: the next time you call me fat…
DeannaBanana: Oh crap, now I HAVE to take the time to write a review…
AmyD: which would be fin, except for that unflattering one of me in the tub.
TrishK: clearly, you should move closer.
That’s what a friend would do, I think.
Mrs RW: OMG that is brilliant!! How does one arrange something like that?!?!
debkitty: after meeting Deanna I am definitely feeling better about it!
Janelle: so, have you figured out yet I look best by candlelight?
We have that project on the agenda for the 2008-2009 meetings…I’ll keep you posted. Does Amy have any recommendations, you know right side, left side, directly underneath?
Old? 38 is old? :what:
It is always best to photograph Britt from below but at an upward angle that way she appears taller and her boobs look bigger.
Right Britt?
Janelle: I think she takes most of hers via hidden cam
Turnbaby: don’t blame ME! Isn’t it the US gov’t that set social security at like 30 or something?? :whistle:
AmyD: good God, I will never be able to walk over a drainage gate and feel safe again.
So that means you’ll officially be old in two short years?
I have never called you fat! You’re cute and cherubic!
How to form a “babysitters group” Force yourself to be nice to 3 other couples who have kids (if you volunteer to be a room mother or something make sure you get phone numbers from other moms). Follow up with a phone call and invite them (and their kids) over for appetizers (simple stuff! like dip and chips) and beers. Let the kids do kid stuff while you sit around drinking. Casually bring it up: “wouldn’t it be nice to be able to go out every weekend without paying a sitter? How about this:” and then pitch the babysitter club thingy.