Brrrriiiiinnng!
Miss Britt: Hello?
A: Oh. My. GAWD I am going to kill someone.
MB: Oh yeah? What’s wrong honey?
A: Well! *heavy sigh* Let me ask you - if YOU were going to leave the house for eight freaking hours would it OCCUR to you to maybe CALL someone and let them know you’re not dead?
MB: Um, presumably, yes…
A: Yeah! You’d THINK?! But nooooooo. Apparently SOME people can leave the house at noon and not even BOTHER to pick up the phone.
MB: I’m sorry honey, I…
A: I’ve been sitting alone in this house ALL FUCKING DAY! I haven’t left, I haven’t done anything, I haven’t got to just run around and do whatever I want all day.
MB: Ohhhh, I’m sorry babe, are you lonely?
A: No I’m not LONELY! I just think it’s RUDE!
MB: Oh, I, yeah I can -
A: And! AND! There is freaking laundry to be done and shit all over this fucking house and the housecleaner is coming tomorrow. Since when is it MY job to clean up after everyone?!
MB: I know, I -
A: I’ll tell you THIS, I’ll be picking up MY stuff off the counter - and that’s freaking IT! And the laundry that is sitting in the dryer that’s not even MINE? Yeah, that can get dumped on the bed. And if someone doesn’t want to lay in a pile of clothes than I guess someone will fold their own damn clothes when they decide to mosey their sweet ass HOME!
MB: Yeah, that’ll teach -
A: And! You know what?!? I haven’t done shit all weekend LONG! I am so sick of being in this house, all by myself, expected to just take care of all this, and not so much as a PHONE CALL!
*SOB*
MB: Awww babe, I know. I’m sorry. Being a woman sucks sometimes.
A: yes. it. does!
MB: Maybe you need some sleep. You sound tired… or.. hormonal… are you
A: I don’t know, maybe I’m tired. But that doesn’t matter. I have VALID reasons to be upset here, right?!
MB: yes, yes, of COURSE you do. Is that your phone ringing?
A: yeah… oh LOOK… someone decided it might be a good time to finally call home
MB: Well, good. Go talk to your wife. Be nice.
A: Ok, I’ll see you at work in the morning?
MB: Yep. Night Adam.
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Posted in Friends and Family
And wouldn’t you know it? I got my period that night, too. Thank God!
Wow. Slip him some Pamprin in his diet coke tomorrow.
that was quite the m night shyamalan-ian twist.
You know, this was quite long… quite long. I hope that your readers have a long enough attention span to make it through this entire thing.
I can’t have people thinking I am that unbalanced.
I mean, sure, it took me a couple of lines to make sure that you weren’t just having a good time with one of our conversations… but when it got to the part about a spouse being GONE for 8 hours… I knew it wasn’t me.
I think you better pick up some chocolate on the way into work…..
You KNOW that wasn’t a woman, because if we got that pissed, we’d already be cutting up the other person’s laundry and throwing out on the lawn?
Or is that just me?
Well done!!!
Did you bring him a spare ‘Always’ just in case things are –you know–heavy ?
Love this. Love. Boys make the Best girlfriends.
You have a stunning blog !! I am new to the blogging thing, and hope to pop back as often as possible :)
I love this post … I think men need chocolates and tissues, just as much as a girl does :)
avitable: thank God for us all… thank God for us all.
Sheila: I think he mainly just needed someone to validate his feelings, you know?
t: in, like, Holy Crap The Sixth Sense is AWESOME way… or a Jeez The Village Is A Piece of Shit way?
Amy: LOL, that is hysterical because I was thinking when I was writing it (and when it was happening actually) “this SOOO sounds like a conversation Amy and I could have - one way or the other”.
My immediate thought was “shit, I hope she realizes this isn’t her and I haven’t completely blown up some recent conversation or another (or swamped my name with hers to protect the innocent!!)”
Which just goes to show - he is a girl.
themuttprincess: and tabloids. He loves Hollywood gossip.
ADW: I buy my husband an entire set of “cheap enugh to be destroyed later” clothes.
Turnbaby: he’ll only use Playtex tampons.
And thanks ;-)
BOSSY:
yeah, they really kind of do
Angel: well thank you! And welcome. And come back often so that you can become hugely obsessed and part of the Plot For Miss Brit To Take Over The World.
that’s what we do here
You should re-enact that as a YouTube video!!!
You guys crack me up.
LOL, who would have thought Adam was such a wuss
I soooo thought it was a phone convo with Amy. Good job Brit! :thumbsup:
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Amy don’t worry actually I thought that was a take on a conversation she had with ME in the last few days.
Welcome to the sisterhood, Avi!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
sixth sense, definitely. his best movie.
So… did he finish the laundry?
NYCWD: I’m working on my impression of his pouty face now
J.: me too!
DutchBitch: yeah, I knew cuz he showed me his vagina once.
tallyho: well thank you! ;-) Although, Amy’s husband would never leave for that long. Ever.
And plus, she NEVER says anything mean about him.
Mom: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH - ok now THAT is funny.
t: sweet! thanks :-D
RW: nope. He was proving a POINT, dammit!
Yeah, thanks for that little heavenly piece of information…
And they say women are emotional? :confused:
I understand a little better now why he tried on your bikini.
You guys crack me up!
You totally got me. Funny.
ummm, uh, he cleans the place before the housekeeper comes? I’m confused… :unsure:
DutchBitch: I live to serve. Serve, and corrupt.
Crazy Lady in Vegas: well, adam IS a woman
Lynda: yeah - too bad he doesn’t SHAVE like a normal woman.
DeannaBanana: like your own private comedy team, right?
Rich: sweet! It’s always nice when a plan comes together…
geek: actually, I think most people do that. So that the housecleaner is CLEANING as opposed to picking up your underwear.
Damn I too thought it was a convo with Amy. Never even crossed my mind Adamn would be such a girl!!!!!!!! lol
Now I feel a lot less like a whiny little girl…thanks!
When I saw the A I knew who you meant, which made it even more enjoyable on the ride to the finish. ;)
Cheri: he’s the most feminine person I know.
Robin: LOL - glad I could help.
Poppy: you’re on to my secret ways! ARGH!!