Dear Internetz,
My two year old’s “teacher” (or “lady in charge at the daycare”) has informed me that my daugther “has a boyfriend”. His name is Brandon.
Apparently, whenever Brandon walks in the room, little Emma squeals and dances and cries “he’s here! he’s here! he’s here!”
Of course my immediate response was to smile and say “oh goodness, that’s cute, kids these days” and maintain the appearance of total apathy. Because duh, she is TWO.
My next step, however, will be more calculated. And I would appreciate your guidance and advice. Because everyone knows the Internetz is way smarter than real people.
Should I…
a. Try to pump further information from the daycare providers about how Brandon responds to sweet little Emma’s interest? Does he notice her? Does he appreciate her? Does he realize he is the luckiest little toddler in the entire freaking WORLD if that girl so much as LOOKS at him twice?
a1. Follow up question - if further prying reveals that this little boy is brushing poor Emma off and clearly not worthy of her affections, is it going to far to trip a two year old? What if I found out he’s three?
OR
b. Do I sit Miss Emma down and explain to her that No. No, no, no sweet thing. We do not twitter and giggle and dance every time the boy walks into the room. You start doing that now and they’ll come to expect it. Just smile, bat your little eyes, and wait. And really, couldn’t you wait a little longer? Because, mommy is just not prepared to handle some stupid little boy stepping on your feelings.
Do you think it’s possible to teach a two year old to play hard to get? (which, so I’m clear, she better damn well be hard to get.)
I await further instructions.
Sincerely,
Miss Britt
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Posted in Kids and Parenting - Real Mommy Blogging
I suggest a combination of both and then add a twist. First, find out how said boy acts when he sees the most adorable toddler girl ever — Emma. Surely he must be wise and intelligent for your offspring to have fallen for him. After finding this information out, encourage Emma to act alternatively disdainful and ecstatic to see him — all in the name of keeping him guessing. Now for the twist… Send your son in one day to pick Emma up. Now, I know he’s rather young by our standards to pick up a toddler, but go with me on this one. Instruct him that while getting his little sister from her class, he is to “accidently” get the boy toddler alone in the coat room. Then he is to warn him, very subtly of course, that should he break Miss Emma’s heart, cookie and milk time will NOT be enough to soothe the aching in his heart after Big Brother is fnished with him.
Should work just fine. Just fine.
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Well, she has a couple of whores for parents, so I think she and Virginal Uncle Adam should sit down and have a talk instead.
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haha. I’m still laughing at avitable.
I agree with a combination of the two. But who’d take advice from me?
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C) Stay out of it and let her be a kid.
She doesn’t need advice on how to “handle” or “manage” boys. This has no long-term impact on anything. At 2, there is no concept of what boyfriend/girlfriend means and there shouldn’t be.
When my son (now 14) was 2 or 3, he had a girlfriend who decided that they were going to be married. The extent of discussion that there was was to ask whether or not we (individually) would be invited to the wedding.
It’s all part of being a kid. Just let it be.
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I agree with FyreGoddess. At 2 years old kids don’t know the difference between having male or female friends. She’d probably get equally as excited to see a dog or a stuffed animal everyday if she decided that was her “best friend”.
It is the job of the adult to put the perverted spin on things for our own entertainment.
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Lin: OMG, why didn’t I think of that?! I was that sister for my little brother!! LOL
avitable: i think Emma’s a little young for porn, don’t you think?
t: pfft. You’re on the Internet. Clearly, you’re brilliant.
FyreGoddess & Karen: so the makeover I have scheduled for the weekend is out of line then? Dang. I was so sure she’d be able to get that shimmy down with heels.
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Oh, I firmly support the makeover.
Dress-up is always fun.
For my part, I just see so many parents try to save their kids from going through the very normal phases, hurts and difficulties that they went through. While I understand the pull to stop your kids from making the same mistakes (or feeling the same hurts), all too often it means that they also miss out on the fun stuff.
When I see trampy 6 y/os walking down the street and hear about sexual harassment and even activity among grammar school children, I can’t help but wonder how much of that has to do with parents getting involved in what used to be (and imo, should still be) normal parts of growing up and figuring out how things work.
You know?
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She’s 2!
Fucking 2!
Britt’s not ACTUALLY going to talk to her about boys.
Sigh.
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FyerGoddess - um, I’m not sure how to say this…I was joking.
Like, seriously… joking.
Yes, the teacher said “Emma has a boyfriend” and that she dances around and says “he’s here! he’s here!”. And I kind of got a chuckle out of that and remembered my mom telling me about my “first boyfriend - Michael Office”, I was Emma’s age at the time.
But she is two. She can’t even speak clearly.
The makeover thing was a joke too. I thought perhaps my sarcasm missed the mark in the post and surely you would get I was kidding when I talked about a two year old doing a shimmy.
FYI, I don’t dress her in mini’s or halters either.
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See… I get that YOU were joking and I was pretty sure that was the case when I wrote my response, but the fact remains that it’s a problem. There are a whole lot of people who WOULD meddle and have a serious talk with a 2 y/o about how to handle and/or manage a boy and start “helping” her pick out prettier or sexier clothes to capture his attention.
THESE PEOPLE EXIST.
My comments weren’t really taking you seriously, honest! However, I’ll take any opportunity I can get to speak out on that particular problem, because I see it WAAAAY too often.
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Well, so long as you know that I am FUNNY!!
(and really, all kidding aside, not pro-tramp - especially when it comes to my daughter)
I don’t know that I can say I see this problem with two year olds - but I coached at the high school… and, um, yeah. Things have changed - that’s for sure.
(I am not, however, kidding about not wanting to see my daughter - 2 or not - get her widdle feelings hurt. And having irrational fantasies about ensuring THAT.)
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OK OK OK
Here’s where I get to provide the “back story” to this story - the “color commentary” if you will.
When Miss Britt was two and in daycare (because, yeah, um, I was one of those moms who worked and sent their toddler to day care all day), a little boy (named Michael Office as far as we could decipher Miss Britt’s lingistics - hence the title of this post) decided that Miss Britt was the coolest thing since toads.
He would take her little hand and drag her all over the playground with him. He was in luuuurrrrrvvvvve. And Miss Britt was like, oh, well, OK - and went along with it.
Only thing is that said suitor was expelled from daycare for habitual potty mouth. Maybe biting too, I really don’t remember.
I’m with Lin on this one. Because your baby brother, who went marching down the street at age 5 to bust out at the headlights of Brandon #1 (the first boy who ever broke Miss Britt’s teenage heart - and her brother’s in the process) would do it for Emma. But, you know, he’s 18 now. So….
That’s how we roll in this family. You breaka our hearts, we breaka your face.
Right, Miss Britt?
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I live next to one of those moms who over-explains EVERYTHING. (What 3 year old needs to know what profession the next-door neighbor is?)
I would just ask the teacher if the boy is shy or uncomfortable with the attention. If he is, then explain to little one that he doesn’t like people ‘looking at him’ when he enters the classroom.
I think it’s so cute when kids get excited about seeing their friends!
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I’m with Britt’s Mom.
:buff:
Make sure that this kid understands the ramifications of his actions and infatuations.
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Well, I can tell you that when I found out there was a bully at school, picking on my 7 year old cousin everyday… I seen a red haze and found myself asking if it would be inappropriate to march over to the school and beat some second grader’s ass.
They said yes… but meh. What do they know?
I thought the whole thing was adorable. But you never really know what is and isn’t going to affect your children in some way down the future, do you?
I don’t have children of my own, so I really don’t feel “qualified” to tell you what to do on this one.
But I wish you the very best of luck in figuring it out :).
(Sometimes being single and/or childless, has it’s advantages, hehe).
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Holy cow. Well, I hope you have learned your lesson… never, never ask the internetz for advice.
That being said, this is soooooo cute. SO CUTE. I think we need to capture said dancing and squealing on video.
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Ohhhhh. It only gets more difficult. Whatever you say to her will be ignored… She is, after all, only 2.
This reminds me of the day my son came home from kindergarden and says to me “Mom I kissed a girl today”. So proud. Me, not so much, I was more like “WHAT??” Anyway, there was a point to this rambling… He is in 6th grade now and hasn’t as so much looked at a girl like that….
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Lordie my son went through girlfriends in preschool and kindergarten like water. Frankly I stopped keeping track. “Uh huh, that’s great honey” got to be a daily answer. (Doubled well for his father too)
When he was in like 2nd grade? He was bullied (which is hysterical now since he’s 12, and 5′6″ and 163#) by the smallest kid in the class. He came home with huge scratches down the back of his neck. Supposedly they were playing some game of “did that hurt?”. I saw red (blood red) and marched to the school and did precede to “kick some ass”. It basically involved lawsuits and blood loss.
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I think we need to put Miss Emma in her Princess gown, bring a throne in to the daycare and have the young man properly approach the young lady.
Umm..if there is a wedding are we invited?
Will you serve wine with the apple juice?
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Mom: “You breaka our hearts, we breaka your face.”
I think that may be on a tombstone somewhere.
Or at the very least, keyed into the side of a car. ;-)
metalmom: it never occurred to me to ask how the OTHER kid felt about it.
NYCWD: well, your methods did work very well during the Great Bunny Debacle of 07
Amber: oh no fair using the I Don’t Have Kids card!!
AmyD: ooh - any ideas how to capture said video?
themuttprincess: my son has never shown anything even remotely close to “romantic” interest in another child.
But then, he’s more like his mama. If he’s going to talk about someone, it’s going to be himself.
Fogspinner: I’m trying to remember if I posted the time my son was bullied, and the ensuing “don’t you DARE let someone put their hands on you” rant - which was met with “but you said no hitting mom..” Oh that was a tough one.
NotaGranny: good idea. Do you recommend the pink one, or the blue and silver?
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Guess I picked the wrong day to try to get involved in commenting. I am totally going back to lurking. It is much safer.
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No, nothing. As brilliant as your Emma is (because, as we know, ALL children under 5 named Emma are just naturally geniuses) I’m not sure she would be able to assimilate “hard to get”.
Two real life choices:
1. This is actually where you start teasing the crap out of her about “Em-ma’s got a boy-friend” and get her to develop a real aversion to your advice in the future.
or
2. Act like it is a normal, healthy thing (because it is) and smile.
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so i am back to loven britt’s mom again. like i must have gone an entire 20 hours without commenting on it.
honest question though britt, do you censor your posts at all? if i knew my mom were reading my blog i so would.
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Britt doesn’t have a censor filter AT. ALL.
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Have you priced chastity belts lately?
I’m jes sayin
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Karen: while it’s possibly SAFER to lurk - isn’t it more fun to comment?
(and really, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable about commenting. Just ignore me. I’m an ass.)
RW: oh yeah, I think I’ll certainly bypass the teasing option.
hellohahanarf: no, I don’t. I maybe SHOULD… but I don’t.
My mom doesn’t have a filter either though, so I’m pretty safe. :-)
AmyD: *sigh* aint that the truth
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SG: the rhinestone ones are a bit pricey.
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a) Miss Britt - I did NOT key that boy’s car. I used soap, remember? And it was a little pick up, not a car.
b) Britt didn’t censor herself once - and I reacted. Then she did censor herself, and she wasn’t nearly so funny. So now we are back to me remembering I have known her all her life and am not surprised. Besides, the, eh, apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree if you get my drift. *laughing at myself*
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I was like that. I would chase boys and kiss them and I would pretend to whisper in their ear on the back of the daycare van so I could kiss their ear. *sounds way more sexual that it actually was* ANYWay, after chasing this one boy for a very long time with no success, aka wipe off kisses and says eww girl, there was clarity.
My family went out to eat at Red Lobsters. I looked over and saw Nathanial and waved but did not go over because I was told to be on my best behavior. During the course of the meal, he tugged on my mother’s shirt sleeve and said,”May I speak to your daughter please?” My mother, shocked, said yes, whie the entire table quieted to see what would happen. He handed me the little red sword that the fruit comes on in your drinks. Being a child, this is the coolest thing in the whole freakin’ world of Red Lobsters and he gave his up for my pleasure. Sweetest thing ever.
So the moral of the story is that even if he may not act like he likes her, she is making an impression on him and probably for the better.
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My little 6 year old son has now been “married” to Maddison for 3 years now. Not that he agreed to get married - she just decided that they are married and thats the end of it. Luckily her mom and I are friends, or I would have had to hurt that little girl when she told me that her “husband” was “hot and sexy”
But seriously, they are best friends, and adorable as hell together!
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Consider yourself lucky with your son. It will pass with Emma. (well for a few years anyhow….)
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Good luck with that…fortunately the littleone hasn’t noticed boys other than to knock them down and laugh at them. Its gonna be bad when she knocks them down and then takes notice.
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You know when my daughter was 6 years old we sat down and had a serious talk about boys. We discussed how they were stupid and smelled bad and they were rude and mostly dumb. Then we discussed how girls think it is cool to try to “Date” and they focus on dating more than they focus on school, which is silly because they are just trying to act older.
So there on the steps leading to the converted attic we agreed that the best thing, the smart thing was for her (and maybe her friends) to focus on school until they meet all their school goals, high school, college or graduate school. Then when they have met the goals they want in life, THEN they can focus on boys, when they are really the right age to know what they are doing. And to seal the deal we shook hands on it, and we had a long talk about the importance of honoring a sacred handshake.
I know its all bullcrap! I knew it then! But I was able to delay dating and boy craziness until she was out of Middle School. Granted she would scream and rant and claim a contract made at age 6 is not binding upon a little kid… but she is 15.5 years old and not pregnant yet! Which is a hell of an accomplishment in Oklahoma.
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Mom: yes, yes, I remember the soap.
Brandi: awwww - Amy and I voted. You win. Sweetest comment of the day.
Crazy Lady in Vegas: that’s more like how my son was - although I’m pretty sure no little girl ever said he was “hot and sexy”. Thank GAWD! LOL
themuttprincess: yeah, I’m sure - she doesn’t seem too concerned right now either so, meh.
geek: luck you! LOL
Y2K: I’m just telling my six year old that all girls suck except for his mom. No handshake required. ;-)
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Did you two dub me with the little red lobsters sword?! What would be AWESOME!
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Awww… how sweet. If she is anything like her mom.. she will already have the hard to get technique. It will be like an instinct to her. Don’t worry too much. It is cute though.
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Coolest thing since TOADS? Wow. You rock! I’m sure Emma will, too…
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