I woke up this morning to my daughter’s screams. In a panic, I jumped out of bed and rushed into her room, prepared to find blood and gore and a horrific site of death and destruction.
Instead, I found a tiny blond two year old being strangled by an Elmo T-Shirt.
“Emma, honey, it’s OK,” I knelt down beside her and attempted to soothe her.
She continued to wail, seemingly oblivious to my presence in the room.
“WAHHHHHHH! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
“Emma. Stop. I’m right here. Mommy will help.”
She backhanded me without notice and immediately turned her rage on me. “Geh OUT!” she hollered.
“Honey, Mommy will help you.”
Her face was getting redder by the moment and I wasn’t sure if it was from the frustration or a lack of oxygen due to strangulation.
“I do it!” she wailed. “Geh OUT! Emma do it!”
“Emma can do it. That’s fine. Just let me… come here… you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Geh OUT! Geh OUT!”
I dodged another smack and decided maybe it was best to let the little shit squirm for a few minutes. I left the room and went to begin getting ready. The crying grew louder and more insistent.
After a few minutes had passed, I went back into her room, ready to relieve her of her self imposed torture. “Come here baby, let’s get that figured out.”
She was furiously poking one hand through the wrong arm hole, grasping at another handful of cloth with the other. She looked at me through the tangle of t-shirt and blond and tears, “Geh OUT!”
“Fine. You do it. When you want my help, let me know.”
“No help! Emma do it. Geh OUT!”
I continued my own morning ritual - shower, teeth, eyes in, clothes on. After about 15 minutes I noticed the sounds of a screaming toddler had been replaced by the groans of an annoyed older brother. “Emma, get out. This is MY room, you’re messing everything up.”
I stepped across the hall to intervene and gather them up for the trip to grandma’s.
“Everyone ready? Oh dear God, Emma, let Mommy help you.”
“No help. Emma do it. Emma’s Elmo,” she beamed, obviously proud of her accomplishments.
And so, I dropped my daughter off at my mother-in-law’s house this morning - in a backwards Elmo T-shirt, inside out pants, and two white sandals strapped to the wrong feet. Whoever said Independence is a beautiful thing, never met my two-year old.
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That’s how I dress myself, too.
July 18th, 2007 at 11:15 am
That’s so precious!! Awww!!
One day you will miss this with her.
July 18th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Please tell us you took a picture!
July 18th, 2007 at 11:43 am
i really hope you took pictures!
one christmas (yes, christmas…shut up) i insisted on dressing myself. in the same defiant manner that your daughter did as i was barely older than her at the time. my mother gave up and took me to mass as well as my grandparents’ house in plaid pants and a striped sweater. and the ugliest brown shoes imaginable. on the wrong feet. (almost literally) to the day she died my mother would compliment my fashion sense. if only she didn’t have the photos to prove it i could have denied it.
i still can barely dress my 36 year old self. obviously i have never had fashion sense. sigh.
July 18th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
I remember those days with my son.
I always grin when I see a toddler with miss-matched clothing or shoes… As a mom you remember those days, it is cute to be on the outside now.
July 18th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Emma is such a cutie. I just want to squeeze that kid.
July 18th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
So ehm… browsing thru the comments… Is she Avi’s daughter? Just asking…
July 18th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
What was she doing in her brother’s room? Did fighting the wad of cloth disorient her into parts unknown or was there some other motive?
July 18th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
OMG, we have the same daughter. Mine has been able to out stubborn me since her birth five years ago. She will be a great woman someday…if I can just keep her alive until then.
July 18th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
Well you can’t say she didn’t come by her strong will honestly!
July 18th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I can see all of this going on in your chaotic life!
And Amy’s right she is soo CUTE!
And SO independent…….hmmm where would she have gotten that!?
July 18th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I can see this going on in your chaotic life right now. Amy is right she’s SO CUTE.
And really, I can’t imagine she’d be so stronwilled and stubborn…..she didn’t get that from her dad!
She’s all you! :lmfao:
July 18th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
two to three were the worst ages for my now 7 year old. She has always wanted to be so independant and do things herself. Yet, she ends up frusterated and would never ask for help. I cannot tell you how many times she wore two mismatched shoes, or a pink shirt with green pants and a baseball cap because god forbid was she going to let me help with her hair.
I feel for you. But the upside, they do outgrow (most of) it.
July 18th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Since I have a three year old grand daughter named Emma, my automatic reaction to everyone is STOP MAKING FUN OF EMMA DAMMIT!!
whew…
Sorry. Knee jerk…
July 18th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
No no no what you people don’t know is that when Miss Britt herself was this age, her famous sentence was “I do it MAHSELF!”
And it has never ever slowed down.
July 19th, 2007 at 6:19 am
That’s a riot!
July 20th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhhahahaha!what killed me was this part…
“…I dodged another smack and decided maybe it was best to let the little shit squirm for a fe minutes…”
little shit….bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhahahaha!you are nuts and i missed you.have been having a shitty time what wiht my mom sick and losing my job.but it’s all good.now keep the stuff comong while i catch up.
July 29th, 2007 at 10:48 am