I have a five day window between when I get into town (in Florida) and when my son must be registered for school. During that window, he has to see a Florida doctor (because apparently us Iowans can be real germy and stuff).
Thanks to some awesome recommendations from my kick ass realtor (seriously, if you ever need a realtor in Central FL, let me know - this woman rocked) - I was able to locate an excellent pediatrician’s office.
This morning we’re setting up accounts, appointments, blah blah blah blah blah blah…
Lovely Receptionist Lady Who Restores My Faith In Womankind: Your first child’s name again?
Me: D-e-v-i-n.. boy, yes, I know. He’s a boy.
LRLWRMFIW: and his birth date?
Me: *blank* ummmm….
LRLWRMFIW: ma’am?
Me: Ahem, sorry, yes - it’s 1-23-99
LRLWRMFIW: no problem, happens all the time, your daughter’s name?
Me: Emma
LRLWRMFIW: and her birthdate?
Me: *blank*
*blank*
Heh…
Oh! Yes! 1-23-05
LRLWRMFIW: no problem, no problem, it, uh, happens all the time
Me: I love my children, by the way
LRLWRMFIW: Of course. And an emergency contact?
Me: Crap. Uhh… I suppose you need someone local?
LRLWRMFIW: Well, yes, in an emergency that would probably be helpful
Shit. I’ve always used my mother, or my mother-in-law. They were close by, they adored my children, they would certainly drop anything and everything to rush to their aid. If mommy couldn’t be there, grandma (or Nana as it may be) was always a willing and capable substitute.
But neither Grandma nor Nana is in drop everything distance anymore.
Thing About Moving To Cause Me To Panic #148:
In the event that one of my children would have an emergency and need a capable adult besides their parents to rush to their aid and make medical decisions and provide love and comfort and kiss their little boo boos and tell them not to be scared… the person to be contacted is Adam Avitable.
Psst... thanks for stopping by! I hope I didn't traumatize you too badly on your first visit. Remember to subscribe to my RSS feed if you want updates from the site!
Posted in uncategorized
Moohahahahahaha!
“Suck it up, kid. There’s no crying in Avitable Land.”
I have to believe that he would do fine. He loves you, and therefore loves your kids… In a round about way.
Poor kids. Just kidding. I think Adam will do great with them. He just doesn’t want anyone to know that he would do great with them. :whistle:
“Oh, you stubbed your toe? Well how about I step on your other foot to help you forget about the pain?”
Just kidding. I am sure his fake wife will do just fine with the kiddies….. Er, they seem too young to expose to the rubber women club….
LOL I am glad I just have to worry about emergency contacts for myself and the cats!!!!
That sounds great. I believe you should have an emergency contact test run, bon’t let Avitable know…be sure to have the video handy!!
Don’t worry he will do wonderful!!
Might I suggest a nice rubber suit. I’m sure it won’t be too hot in FL for them to be comfortable.
What? Suck it up isn’t the proper thing to say when they get hurt? What about pointing and laughing? :unsure: I’ve never done that. :whistle: Really!
He does know they are not crate-trained right?
they have the same birthday?cool!
And now I’m worried as well.
I’m sure, being as accident prone as he is, that he knows where the nearest emergency clinic is. We know that he drives mighty fast as well. Your children should survive at least that long.
Avi: Eww germs!
Oh, man. I hope there is never an emergency.
I imagine the next knock on your door will be Florida Dept. of family services!!!! LOL
avitable: did you just vaguely reference A League Of Their Own?
I will feel much better if you did.
themuttprincess: my only concern is that my Devin doesn’t have boobs. How is he supposed to keep Adam’s attention without boobs??
Angel: he keeps telling me it will be fine, that it will alllll be fiiiiiine. And then he cackles.
ADW: I trusted his wife up until 24 hours ago when she called some woman in Playboy fat. Now I suspect she is a fembot.
Monique: crap, I forgot about the cat.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How the hell am I going to move the cat?!?!
Trish K: Emergency Drill - genius!
Fogspinner: I’ll just have to make extra sure I’m always available. Always.
Hello neurosis and paranoia.
Turnbaby: he asked me something about a kennel. Should I be concerned?
bluepaintred: No, 1-23-the year they were born was a minor internet security feature.
AmyD: are you? are you REALLY? Then maybe YOU should move on over so I would have some OPTIONS.
Brandi: I forgot about his ambulance like driving skills… excellent point.
Lynda: they’re kids, the odds of never having an emergency are good, right??
Jeff: they have that there, too?
Well, shit. This whole move seems a little futile now.
Of course I did! I love that movie.
I heard that kids bounce, so I would say so. :lmfao:
Cat = cat carrier.
Or… litter box with a container lid thing… cat carrier - leave it all open and throw her in the back of the moving truck.
Good grief. What is up with this conspiracy of getting me to move as well. I’m in an ok job market. We’re doing great here, the kids are in a very nice, yet diverse school… sure Ethan is a little strange and Kate is hopelessly addicted to both Avril Lavigne and American Eagle…
but I don’t think any of this is grounds for me to move.
I think that Adam should relocate the business to uh… L.A. or something closer to here… you guys can just move out here and everything will be fine.
Unless there is a major earthquake… but at least we don’t have hurricanes.
I’m not helping am I?
Fuck it. Just email me when you are ready to shop.
i can’t wait to read the post about the emergency drill!
I have relatives in The Villages who could help! Of course they don’t allow kids in their subdivision… but it’s gotta be better than the alternative. They can sneak em in!
Comedically that’s hilarious, but if I had children I’d trust Avi with them implicitly. A very wise choice.
Thats fabulous! A man who repeatedly asks you to show pictures of your boobs is your emergency contact…. That scares me!
Let me know when the drill will be. I can take some time off of work for back up…(just in case there is a melt down when it comes to the tears.) I alwasys have duct tape and wine!!
OMG
Imagine the postcard he will send to thank the school for callng him…
oh dear. are you sure there isn’t an alligator or something out there that can pick them up instead?
Ok. He’s not as scary as an alligator. And just think, they’ll leave his house knowing precisely how to pronounce his name. Uh-vee-table.
Just make sure that he’s not doing any naked driving when he comes to pick up your kids!
avitable: I bet Rosie was your favorite
Lynda: I feel better already
AmyD: I think I need to buy a new cat carrier. SALE!
AmyD: I just want you to be closer!! WAH!!!!!!
hellohahanarf: I need to start planning now
RW: my kids are little and very sneaky! send me numbers and addresses!!
Poppy: does “implicitly” mean “with fear in your heart”?
debkitty: I know, let’s hope my daughter is a late bloomer.
Not A Granny: you’re in FL too?!
ginamonster: I’m going to teach them it’s the one time the word “asshole” is ok, I think.
Sheila: he and my son will have to fight for naked rights
No, I love Geena Davis.
You’re going to bring the cat and let it get cat-ness all over your brand new house? I figured you’d be giving it away before moving.
I love my cat!!!
It does not. For real, you know you trust him that much too.
Poppy, sh! No telling secrets about Avi having a soul!
This is just one more reason to pray your children never have an emergency.