A blonde chick, that’s who.

So, um, I was officially tagged by the restaurant meme. By someone who lives in fucking Iowa. And surely should KNOW better!!

*sigh* the things I will do for a little blog love, I swear

Here are the “rules” - have I told you lately how much I fucking hate “rules”??

1. Link to name of person that tagged you.
2. Include state and country you live in.
3. List top 5 favorite local restaurants
4. Tag 5 other people and let them know they’ve been tagged.

I already linked to the Blonde Chick Bloggin’. Don’t ask me to repeat myself. See? This is why I have a problem with rules.

Include state and country… um… OK.

Iowa. Australia. Yeah, fucking seriously. I live in Iowa, Australia. What, you’ve never heard of it? Really? Ohhhh…. because saying “I live in Iowa” is probably enough information for you to assume I’m in the United States? OK.

Stupid rules.

List top 5 favorite local restaurants… here is the where my bitterness actually stems from.

I don’t have 5 restaurants that are actually “local” to me. In this town there are only three places at any given moment that you can sit down and eat it. Not a damn one of them would make anyone’s “favorite” list. Unless you are seven, in which case an overpriced all you can eat pizza buffet really does seem like the cat’s meow I suppose.

Anyway. I think, technically, this means I should be officially released from my obligation to do this meme. And be allowed to go wallow in self pity over the fact that I live in a place that does not have Chinese takeout. Or Mexican eat in. Or Italian anything. Or a single establishment that requires a tie. Or shoes.

But, I’m a giver. And I am - obviously - sorely in need of some fodder.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….

Top 5 Favorite Restaurant Experiences Ever In The Whole Wide World According To Miss Britt:

1. The restaurant at the Four Seasons Hotel in Chicago, IL.

Oh. My. God. Service to DIE for. If you don’t float out of this place feeling like a pampered princess there is seriously something wrong with you. Do you want to buy yourself some love and adoration and self respect and happiness with a side of self esteem? THIS is the place to do it.

2. The Walnut Room - in what was Marshall Field’s in Chicago, IL

This really is a Christmas thing. I mean, brunch any time here is fabulous. But Christmas around the ginormous Christmas tree, with the chandeliers and the crystal and the tinkling and quiet laughing of people who know how the fuck to behave in public… AH! Heaven!

When I was a very little girl I crawled on my hands and knees and locked every single one of the bathroom stall doors, from the inside. Do you know how pissed dignified ladies get when they have to crawl under a locked bathroom door to go pee?

Obviously that story has no relevance here, but it’s just one of the fond memories I have there. Man I’m weird. Just thinking about this place and my Nana and my mom and I… fuck now I’m weepy.

*ahem*

3. B-Bop’s - all over Des Moines, Iowa - especially the ones on the West side.

This is not just a drive-thru burger joint. This is the absolute best drive-thru burger joint in the entire world. The cheeseburgers here will make you moan out loud. Seriously. Ahhhhhhhmazing. Mm. Just think about them makes my mouth water.

4…

4…

Fuck, I’m having troubles here. Memes are supposed to be fool proof posts!! Damn it!!

Um… 4…

Oh yeah, 4. The Latin King in Des Moines, IA.

I think this is probably the best restaurant you can go to in Iowa. Amazing service. Excellent food. One of the few places in the state where you’ll walk out and say “worth every penny”. The only downside is it’s in the fucking ghetto and we always get lost trying to find it - and it’s one of those places where you can’t scoot your chair out too far or you’ll bump asses with the guy behind you.

But if you use GPS and are willing to refrain from getting up to go the bathroom during your time there… it totally rocks some fucking socks.

5. Bourbon Street in Cedar Falls, IA

OMG I think I slept with one of the guys on the web site. Oooh, and I went to high school with one of the chics. And I worked with that guy!

*ahem*

Anyway. This place is actually pretty local to me. And it’s good. They actually put some effort into the decor. They serve gator bites that are so fucking good - drunk AND sober. It’s also one of the few places around here that you can get calamari that doesn’t taste like rubber, and I am a total calamari whore. The Jambalaya isn’t quite as good as my Nana’s - but it’s close, and that’s impressive.

And that’s it. Right?

Fuck, better check the rules…

Tag 5 other people. Um, no. I’ll tell you Rules like I’ve told the rest before you.

You aint the boss of me.

(However - if you do decide to do this on your blog, you better include a link to me.  Cuz I heart traffic.)

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